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Am I being jealous?

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Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 1

>GF said she likes me
>But her best friend is her crush, and she would be her gf anytime he wanted.
>Talked with her about it, first denied it.
>I asked her (politely) to not play with me, since i'm looking for a serious, no-shit relationship

It seems that I'm the one to blame because "it's different" and he's the "love that never worked".

I didn't called her whore, never offended her, just told her to please stop playing with me and lying, since I feel deep love for her, if she doesn't feel the same way it's ok, but we shouldn't be wasting time.

She said that she wouldn't do that again, but now, she asked something about her gay friend, since they joke about "getting married" and thay they "deeply love each other" she told me if I was OK with that. Also

>I'm asking since you got angry for my best friend thing.

Am I being jealous or is it something I should work on? For me, it was a pretty disrespectful thing to do.
>>
You are putting way too much blame on yourself. You had every reason to be mad/concerned/(jealous? I don't know another way to put it, not exactly in that tone of the word...) Honestly think about it. Whats the point in joking about being deeply in love with each-other? There's no punchline. There is truth behind that joke. Personally, I would pull out, but this is your situation. I have no idea whats going on, but seriously, thing of the situation objectively. Jokes without punchlines aren't jokes. And again, she basically already admitted you wouldn't be the ideal boyfriend. But again, I don't know both of your ideals on relationships, so think carefully.
>>
>>17312857
It's a good thing people like you get jealous, otherwise you'd just be another cuck.

Dump her, fuck her gay friend, dump him too and move on.
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>>17312890
Not madly jealous. More like dissapointed. One of my biggest weak points is that I trust very much in a relationship. All the time I trusted her and never thought about it, now that happened and I hate being worried about it. I don't think I should fight for a place or to be "the one she really loves". I wil start moving on, more than a year with her, is going to be hard
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>>17312883
My ideals is mutual respect, love and trust. I think no one should be giving more than he/she gets. And also that no one should be playing stupid mental games, manipulation or fight for a place.

There's a story with her gay friend, that "gay friend" used to be in love with her when we started dating, seems that she liked me more than him. But I don't know.

A lot of guys use the "he might be gay" to get near girls. I'll think about it, thanks!
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>>17312857
OP do you feel comfortable with her?
>>
>>17313018
Usually yes, but with all the bad stuff not so much lately.

I don't give up at the first sign of issues. But I see many red flags, maybe I should leave the ship.
>>
>>17312857
>>But her best friend is her crush, and she would be her gf anytime he wanted
OP be a man and have some pride and don't settle for this. There are women that will love you back the same as you love them without games or conditions. She is not one of them.
>>
>>17312857
Don't put up with that kind of shit from her. Don't think you'll be able to fix it, either, she just has a couple serious character flaws and has a lot of growing up to do. It's not gonna work out between you two. I'm really sorry.

"I can tell you still have feelings for your best friend, and I'm not OK with being somebody's second choice. I'm not angry with you, but I do think we should break up. I wish you best of luck in the future."

If she gets weepy and insists you're her first choice, begs you to reconsider, etc, then I recommend you stay very polite and calm but remain firm and just say something like, "I just don't think it's working between us. I'm sorry."
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>>17313521
I agree with anon. Refuse to be her second choice and I also would not believe her if she tries to back off her true statement. Be glad she was honest but also don't ignore the truth though it hurts,
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>>17313521
Thanks, when I talked with her she started crying because she couldn't believe that I tought I wasn't her first choice. She has problems "showing feelings in public", so when we go with a group of friends is lovely with everyone but with me. All her friends and specially her "best friend". But I have to "be cool" with it because she says she loves me.

I'm not from USA. So I can't tell you because I only know "i love you". If you know a bit of French maybe you know that there's different levels of "love"

"Je t'aime" (normal, common)
"Je t'adore" (big deal, the one that married people and mothers say to their childrens)

She says the last one, that she really loves me and sees me as someone she wants marry and to be with the rest of her life.

I only see words, no actions. I'm tired of trying, of justifying her actions and being just subestimated. I need my time alone, get over this, heal myself and get ready for what's next.

Thanks!
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>>17312857
Dump her, no one deserves to be treated like that. There must be someone out there that really appreciates you
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>>17312857
>>Talked with her about it, first denied it.
This is a pretty big red flag OP.
She's a liar, and you should stay away of that kind of people.
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>>17313653
>Je t'aime
I love you
>J T'adore
I adore you
but in what context did she said that her BFF was her crush?
>>
>>17314678
This

She already said she is in love with another guy (her crush) and you are still with her??
>>
>>17312857
I've experienced something like that, anon. It's better to forget about girls like her, you'll just end being hurt.

Move on, and you'll find a better girl, who loves you, and just you.
>>
>>17315374
Didn't knew it was the same in english, but I speak spanish so...

Context: Close friends (only girls) were talking about love stuff, gf there. They were asking "who do you like". That's where she said she likes me, but her crush is her best friend and she would be his gf anytime he wanted. That's the context
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>>17315392
Stupid me I guess. Talked with her about ir, she cried and "explained" to me that he"s the "love that will never happen" and that one of her close friend joked about them being a couple so she was just "joking" and following the dank joke train.

This with tears and I being "unbelievable" because I thought she was in love with him and not me.
I'm deeply in love with this girl but never expected this, I even like his parents (and they like and support me over their daughter, crazy). But I don't know if I can handle this anymore.
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>>17315422
>she would be his gf anytime he wanted
The fact that she told her FRIENDS that makes it worse. That's not just cruel, it's humiliating. That's not acceptable.

>she cried
Well, saw that coming.
>and "explained" to me that he"s the "love that will never happen"
Wow, even her explanation sucks. She basically told you, "you're my second choice." That's fucked up. You made the right decision.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 1


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