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I can't tell if the guy is not interested in me or is just

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Thread replies: 32
Thread images: 2

I can't tell if the guy is not interested in me or is just so autistic and afraid to make a move. Anyone have an advice on distinguishing between the two?
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>>17306945
Simple, make a move yourself

Done
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>>17306945
Yeah. It's called "asking him."

You're the autistic one.
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>>17306945
be explicit with him

also try to talk to him when nobody else is around if he seems like he's shy/has social anxiety
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You could try not being autistic and afraid to make a move and actually communicating. Hopefully for his sake he isn't.
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>>17306957
>>17306960
Will that result in him not feeling like a real man? I'm afraid it might scare him
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>>17306945
You could stop being sexist and make the first move instead.
>But he's the man, he should have to do all th hard work!
Sorry, time to ditch that female privilege you've been clinging to
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Isn't a female asking out considered desperate? Or is it some feminist bullshit that isn't actually true?
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>>17306981
>Isn't a female asking out considered desperate?
No

> Or is it some feminist bullshit that isn't actually true?
Yes, though it's definitely not feminist in origin and nature
>>
Make a move.
Just make sure to make it clear that you actually like him, and it's not out of pity.
Girls approach me and invite me to things out of pity all the time, it's just annoying and I never accept.

>>17306969
>Will that result in him not feeling like a real man?
No, of course not.
>I'm afraid it might scare him
How would it scare him? Are you going to approach him with a gun?

>>17306981
Pretty sure no guy actually thinks that.
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>>17307010
How do you know they ask you out of pity?
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>>17307017
He doesn't, he's clearly insecure and/or paranoid and/or other mental acrobatics

He's right about making a move though.
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>>17306945
i'll give you a quick story:
As a kid in secondary school i was repeatedly "asked out" by girls to either be stood up, to have thier friends ride past on bikes and laugh at me, or to be asked out "for a friend" only to have it be a joke on that friend. Do this for a few years and suddenly i get all defensive whenever anyone acts interested in me.

Plenty of guys stuck in this situation where we've been teased and played with so many times we just shrug off anyone that acts interested.

tl; dr : expect to have to show interest a few times if he's defensive about it.
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>>17307029
Sorry to hear that, little girls are usually cunts. Tbh he is defensive a lot. He always talks about how he doesn't have feelings and how he is cold. Maybe something simillar happened to him
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If he's been with other girls in the past and had no trouble asking them out, then he's not interested.

If he's awkward around everyone and generally not good as speaking up for himself, then he might just be too shy to ask you
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>>17307029
Just realised you said secondary school. Wow I'm retarded
Well, girls are cunts, no matter the age
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>>17307036
Jeez, why are you interested in a person that claims they don't have feelings?
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>>17306981
It's feminist bullshit so they can make themselves feel like the victim for double standards they're responsible for. Most men think it's fine for women to ask us out. Feminists won't ask men out because they like their female privilege but don't want to seem sexist, so they just blame it on the patriarchy like they always do.
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>>17307045
Because he has them, he just acts like he is this giant cold stone.
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>>17307049
Yeah, makes sense
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Like that other anon said, it could easily be he doesn't want to mistake your friendliness as interest, so I'd make it perfectly clear
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>>17307029

This is pretty true for me as well. I think a lot of shy/quiet/anxious guys have past experiences with psycho bitches leading them on with malicious intent.

When you're insecure about yourself and you can't possibly believe a girl would ever be interested in you, combined with past experiences of being toyed with, the first thing you assume when a girl seems to show interest in you is that either it's out of pity or she's fucking with you.

It's entirely possible that he is interested in you but just doesn't want to open up and make himself vulnerable.
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>>17307051
sure, but what's the appeal of someone who identifies with being sociopathic? I don't get it, famalam
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>>17307017
>How do you know they ask you out of pity?
Sometimes they say it outright:
>you look so lonely sitting here by yourself
>you can go with us if you don't have any friends
>i feel so bad seeing you alone all the time
Other times, it's obvious from their demeanor or their actions.

Of course, I suspect that attraction might play a role: nobody approaches sweaty, fat neckbeards because they look lonely.
Since I look decent, dress sharply, etc, I suspect some of them think I'm like that story where a witch turns Prince Charming into a toad and some princess has to kiss him to get him back to human form.
But in reality, I'm just a particularly well-dressed toad.

>>17307026
See above, dumbass.
Lots of girls have an excess of maternal instinct and feel the need to help people who look sad or lost.
Especially girls who choose health professions.

>>17307126
Why do people immediately think "sociopath" when they hear that?
It's literally the second rarest cause of such problems (the rarest is physical brain damage).
There's a half-dozen more common things on the list, including depression, autism, schizoid, and everything in the schizophrenia family.
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>>17307142
>Lots of girls have an excess of maternal instinct and feel the need to help people who look sad or lost.
Granted, that doesn't stop what I said from being true and you from being insecure, hurt and/or emotionally damaged.

Writing off someone asking you out as pity is 120% damaged/insecure/paranoid batshit insanity, even if it's true amusingly.
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>>17306981
yes and no. did you ask him out without knowing him first then yes if no then you are fine.
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>OP ran away after finding the true nature of the guy
Like pottery.
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>>17307169
Maybe OP is on a date
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>>17307151
>Writing off someone asking you out
Note that none of these invitations have ever been to anything one-on-one, always to large group events where 15 of her friends (and usually her boyfriend) will be there too.

If a girl actually asked me out, as in something involving just the two of us, then I obviously wouldn't question her motives.
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>>17306945
Guys are interested in any girl, whether or not they love you depends on how unique you are and if it holds their interest.
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>>17307195
Fair. After age 15 or so people don't get their friends to ask someone out so whatever the case I wouldn't worry about it too much, it's just ignorant high school bullshit and you wont have to deal with it for very long.
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>>17306945
use your words anon
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 2


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