Get it off your chest

Thank you to anon from previous thread who called himself a shrimp dick. Inspired me and gave me a kek.

>>17305888
Hey, I've been struggling quite a bit recently with my weight. I got rejected by girls flat out telling me they don't like my body type back when I weighted 93kg. Since then I've started working out and now I'm at 75 and still dropping! Thing is, I'm still too self-conscious when it comes to wearing only a t-shirt, so I either wear hoodies or shirts(mostly shirts). Is there any way to feel better about myself? Or do I have to just simply lose even more weight just so I'll fit better with the society? Thanks in advance. I can provide a picture of myself if needed, but I doubt that.

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>>17305888
I can't remember what age but I remember being out in the yard playing. I was very young. The yard had a very short fence around it, and a girl approached me. She wanted to play and said to follow her to her house. I was too young and stupid to know better so I went along with her. We walked not too far away but it was around the corner and down a street. I can remember only the patio part of the house and that it had a pool. I can remember that area like a picture. I think they wanted me to take my clothes off to swim, I don't know. I can't remember anything other then the image of that patio. I know my family came looking for me and were shouting to try find me. I can't remember what happened but I think I left that house and found them looking for me.

Don't really know what to think. The memory that this happened only came back to me a month ago. Do I just forget about it?

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>be terribly depressed because I'm always alone and can't get a gf
>meet an amazing girl over a moth ago, we hit it off great, never really felt this happy
>we do al kinds of stuff together, have some cool plans for this summer since we have pretty long vacations

>just found out in two months she might be leaving for France for a whole year

why must life be like this

I don't know why, but my gut is still saying that we will end up as a couple. But consciously, I know that it won't happen. Maybe my gut sees something that I'm not?

>hate self
>want to an hero
>family/friends/partner openly admit that it would ruin them
>start to resent them for keeping me here
>they get worse as I do
>I'll just turn into a husk then
>just work and sleep until I finally get to die
Why

>>17306495
That's you hoping. Hope is nice to have, but keep it under control unless you want to feel pain.

I hate the fact that you think I'm too stupid to notice all the crap you are doing behind my back.
Why you gotta lie about looking at the fetish shit you fap to?
I don't even mind it! I just hate the fact that you flat out lie to me about what you are doing, even when I've seen it for myself.
You lie about everything and it's getting fucking OLD AS SHIT.
You talk shit about me to your friends, and even let your friends talk shit about me! But the moment one of mine defend me, I have to cut ties?
You're always accusing me of hiding things from you. When, I literally leave EVERYTHING open and up to view! Web-pages, history, chats and conversations. Hell, I leave my mobile just so you can go through it.
You constantly accuse me of the things you are doing. I feel like shit for having to look into this crap. But, you left me no choice! Double standards and lies with next to no trust.
Anything and everything I point out you do, you twist it and put it onto me.
You take advantage of my job and my income, constantly spending money on shit and your online friends. And, lie about that. Yet, always take more money from me.
In a way it's funny that you think I'm too stupid to notice.
I'm meant to be your wife.
MEANT to be.
There's so much more I could flip about.
But this, this is enough for now.

>>17306525
Yea. I am keeping under control, but it will still be bugging me for a long while.

Kinda hate this situation I'm in.

I met someone, that is why now.

To take a chance on them requires leaving you, completely, in the past.

I tried, and for much longer than I should have, but I was unable to make you open your eyes. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I did everything I could, within reason; I will have no regrets.

I did not want this.

>>17306530
Sounds like you need a divorce.

>>17305888
I think about you every day.
I miss you so much.
I feel so guilty and sick every day for just cutting you off, but I just can't handle it anymore right now. I miss you so much. I felt more connected to you than anyone else. You made me smile and I enjoyed being with you so much, even though it was so fucked up and unhealthy. I have love for you too, and I cross my heart I'll talk to you when I'm ready. If you can forgive me

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>Be me 8th grade
>Mom in love with a literal abusive crack addict and refuses to leave him
>No friends
>Kicked out of school for having
weed/being a retard
>Work hard at alternative school to get out despite shitty home life
>Go back to school freshmen year
>Mom still refuses to leave crackhead
>Friends, but can only hang with them once every two weeks
>wut.jpg
>Stuck at house with crackhead and mother
>Jump to sophmore year
>Meet 10/10 girl on internet and fall in love
>Stop smoking pot for girl
>Learn the 10/10 is bipolar and sociopathic, but she's the only person I have
>Date her for a year, breakup, and get into psychedelics and dissocatives
>Constantly smoking pot and tripping to the point of dependency.
>Almost die mutiple times due to how much I'm doing
>Jump to senior year
>Still doing drugs but now I'm fucking a nerdy 4/10 anime lover.
>Date/Lead girls because 10/10 broke my heart.
>Get addicted to triple c's
>All my friends drop out because they're addicted
>Stays in school and loses 4/10 chick.
>No real friends
>Graduate high school despite everyone saying you won't
>Getting shit together at 18. Should have car soon and move out by December
>Mfw I let one chick and my mom fuck me up so bad

>>17306666
S?

I feel so hollow all the time. I'm trying to make friends and do things that'll be good for me but it just feels like none of it is working. Since dropping out of high school last year, nothing has improved; instead of feeling like shit at school, now I'm feeling shit alone in my house. Why can't I make friends? Why do people not like me? I know I'm a little weird, but I know that I'm not completely fucked in the head. Why do I have to live this miserable piece of shit life? Having social anxiety has completely fucked with my head, I can't even hold a normal conversation without feeling as if I'm really weird. I hate this shit so much, fuck.

>>17306524
You know, you can just kill yourself without thinking of family. I mean, they can't judge you if you're dead, roight? The vultures always love a show with their meal, and a funeral is Benihana to them.

You have a choice, and you can enact it in any way, but do realize that no matter the ending, you'll get fucked somehow.

I posed as my crush on /SOC/ to see what people would rate her. I honestly was surprised at the wide spread on her. Anywhere from a 4 to 10.

>>17306810
>people have varied tastes
Who would have thought?

>>17306821
Eh, her ratings were some of the widest spread I've seen. More in the Love or Hate type area.

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This image helped me a lot a couple of years ago. I hope it can help others aswell.

I have started to resent the idea of self-improvement. It seems that unless I somehow do a personality 180 and turn into a high energy extrovert, I won't be able to get a decently attractive girl. I have fashion and looks. Have never really clicked conversation wise with women, so haven't had female friends. I feel trapped.

I don't want to be part of this love triangle, but the girl is really cute and wants it bad. I also still like this other girl who shares similar feelings, but doesn't want to date because of her anxiety and lately I haven't been able to get a good read on how she still feels about me.

>>17307218

Thank you.

How to get an ugly bitch to get plastic surgery? her repulsive face is unbelievably hideous it looks like a starved rat, btw she's also got a bad case of smelly vagina like it smells from several feet away because she pisses herself on command like the dog she really is.
The only suggestion i've had so far is to put the feral gook mongrel in an insane asylum for mental retardation because it thinks photoshop will fix its ugly face.
Im asking honestly because this bitch stalks me and tries to hide it.

E

Your behaviour is moronic

D

As the sky risers in rush of traffic sea, I long for the day we can be, holding each other endlessly, without the eyes of grasp, of greed, only to be d together and free, to leave those that make us alone on our own, and unseen

about two months and a half months ago i started sleeping with my best friends recent ex-gf
needless to say we are no longer friends and also she just dumped me two days ago because she grew tired of me
now i'm bloody broken and drunk 24/7
i know, i know i'm a huge pussy
you need not tell me that, i am aware
still tho
i miss her so much, i miss spending time with her and acting like a retard all day
i miss her beautiful smile and how i was happy just by seeing said smile

so yeah, imma leave indefinitely
i'm going to backpack around europe with no further plans after that

wish me luck

[spoiler] I hate my life. [/spoiler]

I feel like absolute shit at random, but I have no one to open up to. Different things happened to everyone that was close to me and I got no one to rely on. This is corroding me inside like acid. I'm reaching my limit here.

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>>17307248
Self-improvement just means improving yourself. If you don't think a change would be an improvement, don't do it.
I'm a pretty antisocial bastard. Not a huge fan of people. But I can still try to improve myself socially.

The funny thing is that something relevant to this happened to me today. Realized a couple important flaws i have during a conversation a couple days ago. Decided to talk about it with this one girl (over text) who also has those flaws, figured she'd be interested in sharing ideas or strategies on how to improve them.
But nope. She just gave short, evasive responses, and avoided any meaningful talk. As usual.

But this helped me reinforce a different lesson: i shouldn't waste my time attempting to communicate with people who don't have any interest in communicating with me.
If she ever feels like putting in the effort, she has my number. But until then, i have better things to do than try to talk to a brick wall.

Just keep your eyes open. We live and we learn.

>>17306672
D?

I know we'd work. I know we'd make it. We'd get there. If we tried.

>>17307460
Not who your replying to, but I guess you are the M, whose been having issues with D?

>>17307460
I haven't written that post, but does your name start with I?

I may have gotten herpes from my ex. Currently awaiting test results and trying to accept the fact that I'm pretty much out of the dating pool for life now. Considering an hero. I know herpes is a dumb reason to an hero, but it's the lifetime of loneliness that bothers me.

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I'm worried that I may be getting back into having problems with stalking/obsessing over people again, it's an urge I can't control. I thought that I was able to ditch it a while ago but something just clicked again and I have irresistible obsessive thoughts over people that I barely know or don't know at all.

>>17307608
There's probably like 3 of those

>>17307667
True. The one I am referring to has been a bit unstable, and wall of texted her, then she cut off their friendship

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Why are all women so fucking insane? Nothing they do makes any sense....I don't know whether to try and talk through things rationally or if they're just unconsciously shit testing me so I should just act like a fucking aggressive "alpha" to get them to behave normally.

>tfw forever alone

>>17307720
This post is vague but relatable?

It's getting harder and harder for me to tell myself that I must push on.

I don't have any other choice.

>forever alone
>think I might slowly be becoming an alcoholic
>such is life

M.

I am sorry for sending that passive agressive text questioning your honesty. My head was running allover that day. You know I normally won't say something like that.

im so lonely and i hate mylife

my one and only focus/obsession in life is my girlfriend because I fucking hate my life and have only 1 friend in the known universe who no longer lives in the same state

>>17305888

Hey you,

I'm glad you're back! It didn't take long for you to revert to stealing my nametag, throwing things down my shirt, shoving yourself into me while we sit together and scheming a way for me to give you a piggyback ride. You're so cute. Seems you haven't matured a bit. Truth be told, I'm really flattered by all the attention you give me. It's a nice change being able to read you like an open book.

I'll be really sad (just like you) when August comes around and we separate, potentially for good. I'll do my best not to show it (for your sake). Don't worry, we'll always have the memories and it's not like I'll forget you!

- Me

I never wanted to exist in this world. I never wanted to breathe this air. I never wanted to grow, I never wanted any of this. I wish I was a Stillborn and never had a chance to meet people and watch them leave me. I'm so tired of people constantly fucking leaving me behind. God, I just wanna shoot myself in the fucking head.

>>17305888

I have not dated in a year and I decided to play with tinder fro shits and giggles. I talked to this girl and we hit it so well. Holy shit. She is someone I have always ever wanted in a girl. She is respectful, sweet, smart, independent, passionate, and she isn't afraid to say whats on her mind. I'll be seeing her again this week for a third date when she gets back from vacation. But holy hell anons, i'm in love. I'm not afraid to admit it even though I met her a month ago, i'm in love with this girl and it gets better and better every time I see her.

Holy fuck you are fucking pathetic, and selfish, and manipulative, and cowardly and the list goes on and on.....

Have fun hanging out here and being lonely, repeating the same stupid bullshit over and over again. I won't be around to read it.

Me on the other hand, I feel less alone when I am alone, so I'll be just fine, I'm making sure of at least that if nothing else.

Peace out.

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>>17307720
>>17307831
I'm the M in question.

The lunacy you've seen is largely a result of another bout of attempting to change my personality and interaction/attachment style.
These bouts are precipitated by extensive periods of depersonalization.
Basically, I'm nuts (schizoid) and sometimes drift apart from, and eventually lose contact, with my instinctual, subconscious self (Freud's Id).
This leads to dissolution of personality (since there are no longer any underlying instincts to reinforce the pattern of thoughts and behaviors) and eventual adoption of an artificial replacement personality, usually from a combination of idealized concepts, textbook examples, and fictional characters.

However, this jury-rigged personality typically has massively ego-dystonic adopted problems (eg social anxiety this time) which I inevitably try to fix by fairly drastic means (eg this time, copious amounts of anxiolytic substances including beta blockers, muscle relaxants, and alcohol-- all in combination with amphetamine and each other).
After doing enough moronic bullshit, I eventually come to my senses and regain contact with my real self, at which point all of the above goes right out the window.
So now I'm lucid. The problem is how to break the cycle: how do I stop the depersonalization from setting in again? Still working on that.

Anyway, about D, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet another girl who thought it was a good idea to give her number to the crazy loner "in case he ever wants to talk". Strange how often that happens. Didn't their mothers ever teach them not to talk to strangers? I could be a goddamn psychopath for all they know.

>then she cut off their friendship
Actually, no. That's the hard part now. I have to figure out what the hell to do with this fucking quasi-friendship...

>>17308074
>I feel less alone when I am alone
Amen to that, brother.

>>17308074
Who are you talking to anon? Any Initials?

>have crush on co-worker
>she's not interested in dating anyone due to having a lot of shit on her plate
>decide to talk to women online to get my mind off of her
>Meet girl
>she wants to take it slow
>ok I guess
>a week later, she's already caught feelings
>still not over crush to go all in With this girl

Honestly I feel like I'm leading her on. I still see my crush at work obviously, so I haven't moved on yet. And this girl has obviously got it bad despite her telling me she's only interested in being friends first. We've had phone sex and she's been uber horny all week.
I'm just not there yet, and honestly I feel she's moving too quickly. I feel like ending it

>>17308209
You shouldn't date coworkers anyway, unless you don't mind leaving your job.

I have no idea why people do this.

>>17308217
What May not work for you might work for others.
Not that guy, but I've met a few married couples whom met working in the same job, my parents included.

That said, he shouldn't lead another girl on if he's still feeling someone else.

>made it through the day without drinking
>had to take a shot to get rid of the shakes
>one shot left in the bottle for tomorrow, then i'm riding it out
>i'm an ungrateful bastard of a person
>suddenly coming to terms with my parents' age
>they're all i have
>no more friends
>depression is leading to mild psychosis, hppd is getting worse
>i need help

Please god I just want to feel like a normal person again I'm so fucking sorry please just help me I don't know what to do.

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>>17308227
Alchie af here, haven't had a drink in 11 days. The first three days are the worst physically; you just need to face the things you're running from after that.

Stay strong, anon.

>>17308227
What's your back story anon? Why have you decided to stop drinking?

I don't know what would make me happy anymore. I ask myself 'what would make me happy right now' and I don't know the answer. Everything is just gray. There are no options, no escape, no joy.

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>>17308236

A day at a time, fake it til you make it. I have the serenity prayer memorized.

Thank you, really. Congratulations on your 11.

I don't really know what to say, but you made a difference in some random asshole's life today.

I wrote this when I was sober, but it could help someone else going through the same stuff:

The answer isn't entirely in a pill. It's in setting realistic goals for yourself, establishing a proper attitude towards completing them, and repeating that process until it becomes second nature. It takes 28 days to form a new habit, it literally creates new pathways in your brain. The best way to get any place you want to be is through discipline. Don't throw that away on shortcuts, it defeats the purpose.
If you ever find yourself wishing you could get into hobbies that you enjoyed when you were younger, don't go into it with the expectation that you'll enjoy it as you did when you were a kid. You didn't come to love what you did that way in the first place. Approach things like that as if you had never experienced them before.

I'm at my limit. My breaking point.
This is no longer worth enduring.

>>17308265
I never really believed in the 12-Step myself; I got stuck on the first step and called bullshit. I'm glad it's working for you, though. This is what worked for me:
https://rational.org

>>17308254

I spent 5 minutes typing shit out and realized that I sound like a helpless puss.

I'm just done making things worse.

>>17308225
Yes but that "married couple" got married. If it didn't workout, there would be drama and awkwardness. If it really had crashed and burned and was a messy breakup, then one person would most likely have to leave. It's a huge risk anon.

>>17308275
Then stop trying to endure it, and fix it. Solve the problem instead of running away from it.

I dislike all of you for judging me and accuse me that I like to cause drama when I don't. I honestly wasn't aiming for drama and IF i was aiming for drama, I would personally have took it dramatically by posting EVERY SINGLE EVIDENCE I have to prove why he is such an egotistical human being. Why he is a liar and he is disgusting. Yeah, I am not a fucking kid who thinks 'I love you' can be not the same anymore, I been through 2 break ups and I know that phrase doesn't mean anything and can be changed over time. No, I am not accusing him for why did his 'i love you' changed, I am ANGRY about the fact he said 'I love you' while he was shitting on me, behind my back, talking about how annoying I am with jealousy issues when he had it as well. Saying I care and begging me for something I couldn't possibly do. I am angry that I did what I could for this asshole when he couldn't. While Lying to me. I want to end it all and he decides to cause drama and now you guys are all shitting on me for not being mature. Thanks for just teaming up with him, I thought it was normal to vent on other people after relationship NOT DURING IT.

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Things are going to be alright.

There's so much fucked up shit in this world and I know a lot more than allt of people. On ome hand it's motivating me tondo good things but o the other it makes me want to kill myself because I know how hard it would be to fight the good fight... I want to do great things for this world and I'm prone to grand delusion with unrealistic dreams but if I don't try to make an effort I know I'll die regretting what I didn't try to do... but it's so fucking hard man

>>17308291
Some risks are worth taking, anon

>>17305888
One of my friends has recently really started to annoy me. I met them when I entered highschool and they seem to be stuck in middle school/high school mentality. They dropped out and we're still friends but this guy doesn't know what to do with his life and it's been years, still lives with his parents (I'm afraid theyre gonna kick him out I mean they've threatened him before) and I feel like any advice I give him just goes over his head, he lives from one moment to the next but still has a child's attitude when it comes to receiving any kind of criticism and being his friend is kind of a pain now. I guess what annoys me is how stagnant they've been personality wise over the years and how they think they're a hot shot and know it all that doesn't need help. Hell he'll never ask for help about anything, this dude's got a tight lid on his personal life and feelings even though he's called me one of his "best friends" and "Senpai" before. Any time I try to get an ounce of how hes doing or how he actually feels about anything deep down it usually takes about twenty minutes of slow conversation before I can get anything. I thought we were close since he's always throwing around how great of a friend I am to his other friends but...man..I don't know I feel like an asshole

Today was the last straw. I'm now more certain than ever that I want to end my life. Gonna look into getting a gun tommorrow. Not sure if I should do that or use gas. Just want to make sure I don't fuck this up too.

I want to meet girls my age(18) but I work full time and typically like to rest on my days off as I work outside as a laborer. And pretty much the only place you can find girls my age is at parties which I've never really been fond of... plus it's not fun to go to a party and then have to get up and go to work the next morning... college is coming up so I know there's no shortage of girls there but that's still a few months away. Shit all I want is female companionship but the only way to attract girls it feels like is to throw a party with lots of alcohol and or drugs. Why do girls gotta be hoes? I have to get me one of those conservative christian girls but fuck me I'm a godless heathen i've never even been inside a church...

>>17306277
Were you two alone?

>>17306530
Why are you still together?

>>17308401
What do you want a girl for anyways? Causual sex? Cuddles? Wife material or temporary fuck buddy?

>>17308426
I dont give a shit it's just nice having a girl to talk to

>>17305888
Can't stop thinking about a relationship I was in about a year ago. Imagining what things would have been like if I did things differently. She almost got us in a pretty bad car accident when I let her drive my car on one of our dates. Despite this I still think of myself as the selfish one. It kills me.

To jump off the bridge or to inhale helium, I just really don't care which I do at this point. Canada day is coming up, there's going to be fireworks, I think that would be a nice goodbye sight when I hop over the railings.

I discovered that what I believed for about 24 years, was just a big ass lie.

I always thought that I had the perfect family. You know, with loving parents and four caring and cool brothers.

Never been so wrong.

A year ago, my dad cheated on mom. After protrait the image of a perfect, wise, trusthful, loving and all-that-stuff man. First deception, but not the last.

My brothers, when we discovered dad cheating, we talked about moving out to another house and leave my dad alone. I'm at college studying Vet and even when I want to, I can't work because the schedules at college are too tight. Well, they told me they would support me and many lies. We never moved out, after another talk about that.
This year, my dad went sick (like, something serious) and I'm the one that is taking care of him. Ocasionally (very rare) some of them goes to the hospital to attend him but most of the time I'm the one who is with him. I've had a ver rough time about the money at college, and now that I'm on vacation, I have to be full-time dedicated to my dad because "I'm the only one who's not working and have a lot of free-time" But hey, no one has showed any, not a minimal piece of support they told me about. Not even emotional.

Well, I feel too dissappointed. I have to return to college next week and will do my best to do everything on my own.

At least I have friends.

>leave abusive heroin addict boyfriend
>work as a waitress living in a hotel with my brother and lesbian couple/
>Everyone is on drugs
>I'm going strong on 6 years sober.
>Working towards getting car.
>get tinder after 3 months.
>Why not
>Meet 10/10 guy
>Go to Austin with him for the weekend
>Have best weekend of my life
>He spends a ton of time with me for the next few days
>He lives an hour or so away from me
>Says he can't stand the thought of me in a hotel
>Can't stand being away from me
>Comes to the hotel and tells me he loves me and wants to take care of me and he wants me to live with him.
>i'm sceptical at first but wth? Who could it hurt?
>Guy is filthy rich, good looking, good dick, into punk shit, lots of friends and super smart this may actually be the slack i've been waiting for
>First few months were great.
>got fired from olive garden for telling the manager to suck my clit after he told a table of mine that "Our servers get paid with checks every 2 weeks, don't worry about tipping if you can't"
>Get job at panera bread
>US Marshall comes in and arrests me
>wtf.jpg
>DA picked up and old case
>AA D/W
(spoilers , the case is BS and is currently getting dropped, I sign papers on tuesday)
>Spend 3 weeks in jail
>He bails me out
>During that time I learn he hasn't really had all that money
>Credit cards
>Destructive debt
>Also during the course of our relationship I've lost many of my friends
>Not that dating the abusive heroin addict before him helped any
>After I got out of jail protectiveness got even worse
>everyone is a bad influence
>Still no car
>No friends
>I work at Claires
>haven't had sex in 4 weeks
>Massive amounts of debt
>still paying lawyer bck
>Can't survive without him
>If i leave he said he would commit suicide
>also if I leave he won't be able to afford to live without me
>Have no one to talk to
>never felt so alone
>feel like he's worse than the heroin addict
>called heroin addict 30 minutes ago
>he's sober, living in Oklahoma

>>17307733
I think the right answer is somewhere in between those two extremes.

>>17308491
>new girlfriend, better looking and better artist
>literally want to scrape my eyes out
>miserable
>I've done this to myself
>the reset button is in a syringe
>Really want to start using heroin again.

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I like to use a baseball analogy for my game with girls, I'm on the mound and they're throwing slow softball pitches at me and I just don't swing. Batter's anxiety. They like to throw pitches when I'm not paying attention. When I forget I'm at bat. I know I can be a good batter. Anyway that's what I felt I needed to say today

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>>17305888
I havent been going anywhere in life, I have been sheltered as fuck and its hard for me to do thing with my current mindset I suppose, I ask for help but it feels like im just yelling at a wall. Im scared I dont want to be a useless fuckwit and feel like im dragging my family down anymore, the more i think about all this time i've wasted the more i want to hurt myself as final attempt for help out of the desperate situation.

I need your help guys.
I don't feel like I am loved, or like I belong, I don't feel respected or liked or cared about, it seems like I'm always the screw up and people lie to me and leave me and all the memories of people looking down and shaking their heads in frustration or in humiliation, laughing and smirking at me and my screwups keep running through my mind.

I noticed today that I have been subconsciously punishing myself, I feel like I have to deserve everything good, and I don't feel like I deserve anything. For example I went to eat a stick of gum after work, and because it was a treat I refused it, my mind told me it was a treat and that nobody would offer it to me if I didn't take t myself, I didn't deserve it, treats are for good, likeable, loved people.

The part I am writing about tonight in particular is that today it has evolved to when a stray thought of a girl or doing something sexual comes into my mind, it gets shut down too, like even the thought is a considered a treat, and the possibility of someone ever actually desiring me or of me eer deserving anyone at all is so outlandish my mind won't even consider it. I feel slightly horny and it makes me feel guilty and sad.

I don't even really know how to describe it all, but it's bothering me a lot. Has anyone ever felt this way?

I've been around people when they shit talk someone or say they're fucking retarded and they dont like them. Then see them with them or hanging out with them like an hour later. This happens all the time. If you dont like people, dont associate with them.... HOW IS THIS SO DIFFICULT

I didn’t think it would be easy. I didn’t know it would be this hard. I can’t stop thinking about you no matter how many times I try to turn off my thoughts. I see things or say things that are meant to make you laugh, yet your sly laugh isn’t around.

Every relationship I’ve had developed problems because I wouldn’t open up. I never felt safe to. I’d get yelled at or manipulated at home if I did so, and it carried onto connections with the girls I dated. I’d be called a cold, stone wall, and get called a coward. I never wanted to talk with them, they wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t listen. You listened.

Why is it so hard to let you go? We never even began. I miss you. I wish the last time I saw you I didn’t leave in a haste as I did. I had to go. I’d do whatever it takes.

>>17308521
It's never too late. I know it feels like it sometimes, but it doesn't have to be. Try your best to move forward, measure the distance, and use it to prove that you arn all that bad, and then go further.

There's always someone worse than you, and you don't have to be them.

It's gonna be okay man

>>17308539
there are plenty of people worse off then I am, Im pretty much a pampered child and only the age of 21 but I havent done anything noteworthy in my life. I dont even know how to drive yet because im such an inept fuck. It really just feels like I have no where to go if something went wrong and im afraid of staying the way I am not. I want to go back to school...I want to get a job...But it feels like climbing an endless mountain

>>17308536
People like this seem like they are hard to come by, I've only ever known a few myself, but finding a few or even one, means that there have to be more out there. Even if he/she never comes back, it doesn't mean you have to get left behind too.

>>17308544
It's not as hard as you think it is, you can do it, even if it's a simple job or learning to drive, start making progress and make your own noteworthy events in your life. We're all climbing a mountain bro, but you gotta climb.

>Be young guy
>Be really into gardening
>Have yet to meet a girl that is also into gardening

The fuck man this should have sold itself but people just think i'm weird because i'm a guy who likes to garden

>>17308557
Thanks, I guess Im just stupid and its one of those nights where everything seems much worse then it actually is

>>17308545
Thank you, anon. I needed to read that.

all i gotta say is that those dudes who put me in their realm of competition within the mating pool are retarded. it never works and i don't care about that b.s. and the reason why they do that stuff is because they want the girls to not pay attention to me as much as them.

I can't stop thinking about the fact that I'm going to die. That my parents and siblings are going to die. Games temporarily distract me but when I let my mind wander these thoughts take over.

It's paralyzing and terrifying.

I'm so fucking lonely. I'm a leech. I'm basically just praying the army will take me. I have no real friends. It's a rough few months to say the least.

>>17308066
how's tinder like?

>>17308491
Addicts that break the cycle, by freeing themselves of said addiction and facing the problems they were running from, change drastically for the better.

It is a shame that so few actually manage it.

You should be happy that your ex is not a statistic, and very proud of yourself. Think on all the progress you have made, and what is still to come, if you continue on this path. Is that temporary escape worth sacrificing this? Remind yourself as to your reasons for quitting.

You need to focus on yourself. Take it one thing at a time, break this one thing down, and do what is best for you.

For what it is worth, I am proud of you.

I'm in love with my ex. It's been 3 years since we broke up.

How do I get over that feeling that if she asked I would drop any aspect of my life just to do anything for her? I mean, I acknowledge she has flaws, and our 3 year relationship was a mess. It wasn't satisfying for either of us. Why the fuck do I still have these thoughts about her that make me incapable of anything more than lust for anyone else?

My dad is driving me nuts, I went for a drive to do some errands and when I got back and told him I turned on the AC because it was hot as fuck he quickly turned and kept saying I shouldn't turn on the car because it puts pressure on the 17 yr old car.

Driving 100kms / hr on the freeway doesn't put pressure on it ???

He is also 100% against me driving and that i should wait untill im 25 like him.

I am the first one in the family to go to driving school and successfully complete it but i guess that's not enough.

I can't fucking wait to move out.

>>17307614
You can be an asshole and take them to court for that, you know.

I'm feeling lonely because instead of buying a vehicle like I was supposed to i said screw it and played video games instead. Years later now I can't even stand living inside of my own body. I love in such and isolated neighborhood with nobody even near my age

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>>17308693
I'm 25 and I still don't drive.

>>17308809
get a sports hobby

>>17308809
>>17308812
I'm also 25 and don't drive. I live in a urban area where it's not a huge deal but it does somewhat limit where I can travel.

>>17308812
>>17308831
get a bicycle

>>17308837
Oh, I bike around. It's great. Where I can't bike I take public transportation. Fortunately, Bay Area public transportation is good enough.

>>17305888
i just realized the enormity of the fact that each and every day advocating genocide becomes more and more accepted

I'm falling back into my depression headfirst. I was doing so well for a while, longer than ever before, and now it's all going down the drain. I constantly feel worthless and pathetic and that I'm not worthy of love or anything. I feel like my chest is hallow all the time. I wanna cry but no tears will come. I just want someone to reach out to me and tell me it'll be okay. I just want someone to fucking check up on me every once and a while.

I'm so close to just slitting my throat. It'd be so easy. But I don't even feel like I deserve that. I don't deserve an easy death.

The loneliness is hard to bear sometimes, but I have to remind myself that it is for the best.

I don't even know how or where to meet people, or what I would even want out of a relationship.

And about that, I really would want to intrude in the life of another person. They deserve to be happy and I can't help with that.

But it does get awfully lonely.

>>17307218
>indirect path to success
except half the listed people were already successful

and rowling is a worthless cunt

>reading these stories about peoples relationships
>makes me feel better about being gross
>almost makes me think that it's okay to never have a family

Thanks /adv/!

>>17308837
>>17308844
I forgot to mention my spinal injury that put my lifelong bicycling career to an end

>>17308861
if a small dog chased after you could you run away successfully?

>>17308871
I can't even walk 17 yards without pain let alone running or climbing stairs.

>>17308536
Go somewhere with me.

>>17308848
At least you recognize that things are going in an unhealthy direction for you. You can nip it in the bud before it gets too bad. I'll give you some canned advice that really helped me: keep a journal. Write something about every day, no matter how trivial. Do something productive, that you feel good about, every day. Go for a jog, even 15 minutes. Write some fiction. Pick up a guitar or whatever you have lying around. Draw some cubes. Cook something for yourself. You won't change things around overnight. It takes incremental progress, baby steps.

As for people not reaching out to you, I don't know your situation, but maybe nobody knows you're hurting. Or at least they don't know just how badly you feel. A while back a friend of mine hanged himself. We knew he wasn't in the best place, but we didn't know he was hurting that badly. Maybe they just don't know. Is there anyone you close enough with to let them know what you're going through? If they're a real friend they'll be willing to listen and help. Family, maybe?

I can tell you everything's gonna be okay if you want. Everything's gonna be okay. I've been where you are, and it gets better. Thing is, you have to put the work in. Now, like I said above, it doesn't have to be everything at once. You can make things better, one little thing at a time. Take it day by day.

I'm sorry if this isn't helpful, but I'm pulling for you, anon. You can do it.

I thought I was an introvert. I behaved like an introvert, too, through highschool and college, barring some nights and longer lengths of time during which I could socialize effortlessly. See, I went through some things when I was a kid that caused me to distrust other people. I wasn't able to form meaningful relationships for a long time, and even then, they were few and far between.

It's been a long time since then. I've been out of college and working for a few years. I've steadily been getting better at socializing and enjoying it more. Recently, after isolating myself for a few months, I spent a weekend hanging out with friends and going to shows. I don't have an ounce of social anxiety any more, somehow. I can introduce myself and chat with people without the panic response I used to get. In fact, I came out of it feeling revitalized and wanting more.

I don't think I'm actually an introvert. The problem is, I don't have a social circle. I have some good friends I can hit up for lunch or a night out, but how do I develop that into the "social circle" that so many people seem to have? I suppose I need to be more proactive, invite people out more so I can meet more people. Does anyone have experience with this kind of thing? Anyone been in my situation?

>>17308678
Being in a long relationship forms new and strong neural pathways about her.
You recognise that it is illogical to be with her but your brain has retained these primal thoughts about her. Try to move on, there are more important things in life.

>>17306756
Leave me alone.

>>17308844
Ayyyyy bay area buddys

>>17305888
I don't know how to have text conversations.

You text me, I'll generally tell myself I'll get to it later but I don't. When I am forced to, it'll be a good conversation for about twenty minutes. Now I have this girl who sees me on the weekend and wants to text all the time during weekdays. It's fucking annoying that my brain doesn't allow me to be witty 24/7.

>>17307608
Not an M or an I

I fucking love you and there's no denying it. I love every single thing about you. Your beautiful smile that shines brighter than 1000x suns. Those hazel eyes. That lovely laugh that can brighten anyones day up. You're just so fucking cute and I would literally die for you. My love for you shall forever stay burning, even though I know that in a million years you'll never date me or give me a chance sadly. You've friend zomed me hard. Even given me the title of "best friend/brother" you instead dated my childhood friend and fucked him. I don't know what he does or has that is better than me, but either way it fucking obliterates me, because you knew I cared for you way more than him. I am always there for you. Not him and yet I'm always 2nd to him. You talk about how no boys will ask you out on a date and yet I've tried and you say you can't or you already have plans. Ah, no matter what though I'm still by your side forever and always. Even though the feelings I have for you will never be reciprocated.

>>17306495
I'm in the same boat as you anon. Feelsbadman

>>17308849
>And about that, I really wouldn't want to intrude in the life of another person.
>They deserve to be happy and I can't help with that.
I know the fuck outta that feel, anon.

>>17307918
I really want to send you a message apologizing for it. But that may just dig a deeper hole.

Knowing you, I think it would be best to wait it out, but I can't help but think that. It won't help

>>17309219
I know it sucks. But it's not like there is something hinting at something happening.

I don't know if its just me holding into hope, or if something is there the I am not seeing consciously that may say that all will work out or what.

I don't know.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know if I'm straight or gay, what my purpose in life is, I don't know what I "like"to do.

I just live and do my chores and be depressed.
What happened to me, what is my fucking problem? I don't know.

I hate my self.. I feel like I donot deserve anything I have. I fear that my gf is only with me because we have too much entanglement financially. I constantly think that the people I talk to just want me to go away and never come back. Including my family. I'm prideful of everything i do but even more insecure. I don't sleep at night because my self depreciation keeps me up. My life isn't bad objectively. And I tell my self that. But at the end of the day I still get depressed that I haven't made it better. For every thing I'm good at I can think of 2 or more things I'm not. And no one can know. I can't show I'm upset. I can't show I'm weak. Because I have to be strong for my friends. I have to be supportive of my gf going to school while I put my dreams off anot her year so we can still have a roof over our head. I have to smile so others smile. All the while I just want to find a corner I can call mine and just sit. Sit and tell myself why I'm not important

>>17308678
Her initial? And the reason for break up?

>>17309468
JMD. One little fight at the end of a string of many. This one was about her not wanting to do something and me not being supportive.

How does this work?

>>17309610
Shout your feelings out onto the void and maybe the void will shout back.

>>17309614
Oh ok

I found out that my BF has been on OKC looking for a new gf for awhile. He has been texting girls off there and telling them they are gorgeous and have awesome butts, something he has never ever told me. We haven't had sex in weeks when I used to get it daily, and I found out it's because he jerks off to their nudes and says that is better than sex with me... I feel utterly destroyed. I thought he loved me and I still.. Stupidly love him. The worst part is that we live together and due to lease reasons he can't leave our apartment for another 3 months. I want to die, I feel cold and pain in my chest.

Maybe not the right thread but better than making a new one.
I just got baned for a post I didn't do. How come this happend? Is this a special kind of troll?

>>17309623
People can be shit. I know it's awful and hard to admit but it is. The sooner you accept it, the easier it'll all become. Break it off with him as soon as possible. Every charitable or romantic act will start to seem like an insult, and being outside the relationship will let you determine if you really love him or if you've just gotten used to him being around. Good luck anon, it is an awful place to be in, but if you didn't know you deserved better you wouldn't have posted here

>>17309623
Honestly, just sue him.

>>17309623
i feel you. sorry for existing idiots in the world.

>>17309623
He sounds like a prick
Just stay strong and find someone else that actually loves you

>>17309637
How would I do that? I don't know if I have it in me

Next person who calls me "an update" from my boyfriend's ex wife is going to get slapped.
Holy shit I'm a person, not an app.

I hate that you're so damn unforgettable & that you don't give a shit about me. You never did. I should've saw the writing on the wall early on when you said you've never been in a relationship and blamed the guys every time. Shame on me for thinking I could be different and change that. You don't want a relationship. You just want attention for the moment & then run as soon as you might have to be committed to something longer than two months. Just like how you left your Navy commitment on the table. Just like you left your last job. You don't know what commitment is and maybe never will. You just want to run when it gets stressful & push people away who actually give a fuck about you. You never wanted this to work. You enjoyed dragging me along for as long as you did, watching me flounder as you called it off. You'd never admit it, but you loved watching me try so desperately to make this work, that you loved giving me just enough to think you might be changing your mind and then come right back in and knock me down. You're a sick fuck. And you're gonna keep doing it. And stupid me for thinking I was gonna make a stand and say enough, not one more. Stupid me for thinking you would try to make this work. That you said you'd try, that you were in this no matter what. And then you just say forget it, I've lost interest. Just like you do everything else. Once the shiny wears off, you throw it away.

And now look, you've already found two new guys in the past three weeks. You text me that how you've gone out and gotten piss drunk and made out with other guys while I was still holding on. And what do I have? Nothing. I have no rebound. No one wants to listen to my mistake. I go to bed without hearing from you a& wake up to nothing from you. If you didn't care about me, if you were so serious about wanting to block me for "harassment", then delete me . Delete & block me on all your social media you still follow me on.

But I'd still take you back. And that's the worst.

>>17309643
I'm sorry, but that's actually pretty funny.

>>17309634
Worst part is we just moved to a new city and I know nobody here.. He was my only friend. Any advice on making friends? Thank you kind anon

>>17309642
Either kick him out or move out and take him to court over the lease.

>>17309654
It kind of was at the beginning, but I feel like they're implying that he's dating me because I'm young and pretty and not because we actually are a great match and very happy together. And I hate the comparison anyway.
I feel like at some point I'm going to say "Yeah, thanks for noticing I'm a 35 year old overweight cunt".

I may be too young to do this but growing up till now my dad was barley around and the only memories of my mom are of her yelling at me and my brother and sister would attack me almost killing me a few times, so as a kid showing emotions would get me hit or yelled at and at first I had a force them down but it got easier and easier as time came past and it lead up to me to be very unsympathetic and almost emotionless coupled with the fact I was to a degree deaf I got really intoverted making me almost a psychopath so when I got into school I was ignored almost completely and I was fine with that most of the time but getting older my hearing was fixed and I was starting to realize how important friends were so I started to fake emotions and sometimes I could feel them but not much and when I got into Jr high I stated to get emotions more often but very rarely and I never felt happy or exited and if I ever was it ended quick witch turned out to be depression and that was pretty much all I felt and so when I got other emotions at that point I would get something like anxiety but more syntom then nervous feeling so now if something like someone killed them self I get mad because j feel like they don't have the right to do it because I don't but the idea of it is getting more on my mind and looking into medical reasons my depression is getting worse and I am some how getting dumbed down like thoughts are almost nonexistent and I don't know what to do

>>17308539
Can we?

>>17305888
My parents recently divorced right and I just don't know how to feel about it. My mom keeps telling stories and my dad fucked up(in her defense he kinda did,not going in detail) And I just don't know what do to now I mean he is still my dad but he just left his children and wife to go somewhere else on top of the financial problems my mom is now having(I fucking hate it to see her being sad and struggle) we also had to move to a grade A shit neighborhood with no garden or anything(this kills my mom) I recently had to switch my classes so now I basically have a useless degree and have to study for a few years more to get the same level I previous had planned. I just can't deal with this all I just hope it all gets better. Man feels good this is the first time I really talked about it with anyone

My life revolves around alcohol and I hate myself but I don't think I can stop altering my reality. It's ruined enough relationships but I can't fucking stop. I don't see myself living past my thirties.

I know dating is a numbers game, but I didn't think the numbers would be so bad.

>>17308879
How can we? You're never alone.

>>17309939
Body count?

>>17308849
There are social clubs for adults called meet ups. You could try that. Or try calling your family.

>>17309929
I've lost everything to alcohol. Everything. Yet I still drink every god damned night. A month ago I got wasted and destroyed my gf so she asked me to leave now I'm back at home with my parents at 25. I know she'd take me back if I got sober but I can't get sober. I doubt I'll make it to 30.

If one day you don't get called a bitch, I'll be surprised (and rlly, good for you). Always getting close to ppl but then if you become a pussy you bail out and call all ur bfs manipulative, psychopaths, etc. ALL of them. Don't rlly blame ya, ur mom had extreme mental issues and gosh, glad I didn't hang out with her. Who knows what lies she would make about me. But yeah, good luck to your current bf who u sext publically and he sends how muuuuch he mizzes ur pussy. Like always you tell oh he's bad, he's this that, then next day you change your mind and so on. When your heart gets broken instead of u breaking them, then you'll know what love and suffering is.

>>17309929
>>17310218

An anon posted this yesterday:

https://rational.org/index.php?id=1

It's been helping me. I've been drinking a liter of vodka a day for three and a half years.

It's never too late to start getting your shit together.

Don't give up, your lives are worth more than that.

I'm loosing a big contact at work. In the next few months this job will go to someone else, and more than likely they will try to get rid of me. I have my own projects right now, and will continue to have other clients but there is one main one I really care about and what to stay close with. I'll have to suck it up for the next year or so, and move on eventually; otherwise, I'll continue to be angry and resentful to my supervisors as they are trying to give my "work" to someone else.

I want to stop knowing that my own parents raised me wrong as a joke. I hate myself for not having seen through it even as a child. I can not fathom the humiliation ever leaving me and looking at all the time wasted I wonder if I should not simply end it all.

But there must be some way to hurt them first. I will persist until I've found one that will make it hurt for them.

>>17308522
You probably won't read this but I am very close to becoming you.

>>17310218
Please look for assistance at working on your problems, because every step you manage will be better than giving in. If not for yourself, do it for your girlfriend, your relatives and your friends. Getting your life together will give you much more that any alcohol in this world. Good luck, I'm counting on you!

>>17310373
success.

got mass up, now time to get cut and chiseled as fuck... right after I get through days of paperwork.

is it weird that these are the moments that feel the best? I have so much to do but I feel fucking great. I don't have enough time to do everything but I've got no problem staying up til like 4 in the morning doing this stuff and then going to the gym for an hour. good shit.

also here's some hilarious music for you guys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-glHAzXi_M

completely unrelated and directed at a particular person, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh man, you childish fuck. like i give a fuck. you aren't scary, and I was almost wishing you'd do something, I'd take your whole fucking company from you. I suggest you keep your distance. just shows how right i was in making the choices i did. I even tried to make it so you didn't get as fucked over cause I'm nice, and you're that pissed that you'd be threatening like that? lol, I'd keep my distance if I were you.

people always wanna act shitty, and then get even shittier when I walk away and burn bridges. like what'd you expect. there's that saying about nice people being the scariest when they've had enough? well I'm kind of similar, except I don't have to be scary, I know that your life will do that for me in time, I'll just leave you in your own filth.

>>17310543
You're right at that. Fuck this, I'm better than whining to 4chan. This shit gets turned the fuck around today.

Thanks, anon.

>>17310592
See you tomorrow

> 25, live at home w/ parents, unemployed
> 2.5 years of college, 0.5 year cc, 0.5 year McD’s
> might be able to stretch that out to 3 years college, 1 year cc, 1 year McD's for resume. advice appreciated
> mentally ill
> applied for ssi, application process has been long & difficult (3+ years, 3 or 4 rejections). Should I keep trying (how long, when should I stop)? advice appreciated
> Basically, I see 3 paths. cc, ssi, min. wage.
> I'm against min. wage because it's difficult and I don't see how to live on it plus mental problems
> For cc, I have no idea what to pursue. went 6 months in HVAC, got EPA cert. sent out a dozen resumes, only got one interview, no job. Some people I know and a lot of people online seem to go into IT.
> Online work: I am looking into NiceTalk, LeapForce, FreeCodeCamp
> SSI: I have my misgivings on this too.
> advice welcome

I haven't felt anything for anyone since you left

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>>17310766

Do you miss my 8" x 6" cock? A small thing, and petty, but I feel a tad better knowing how hard it will be to find a man that measures up.

I am no longer insecure about my cock, as ridiculous as it sounds to begin with, because reasons; I believe all men have issues regarding this, no matter their size.

>>17309972
I don't know what to do.

I kinda hope I reach 6ft.

I am 20 @5' 9.75 in. And I think I've grown a little (.25in?) over the past month. I suppose it may happen.

I miss being complimented on my looks. Or at all.

>>17309623
lmao shouldn't have gotten fat

>>17309643
>>17309667
it's a compliment desu


>man I am so glad <bf> dropped that dreadful woman and upgraded to you
>you two are a lot better for each other and I'm glad you guys are together

>>17308880
I'm the OP of that. I don't know if you're still here or not but I wanna thank you. Reading that made me cry really hard last night, but it also helped me realize that I can try and do something to change.

I'm gonna start journaling like you mentioned. And I'm also gonna start trying to bike everyday. Get outside instead of just staying in bed.

Just. Really thank you. That meant a lot to me. I hope you're having a good one.

>>17308921
Anyone?

fuck everyone in this thread you're all pieces of shit. each and every fucking different flavor of whatever the fuck you are, wearing all sorts of different hats and sunglasses, fuck you, fuck you and your boots and your uniforms. thread is gay

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I'm fucking ass at small talk. Even shitfaced I can't start a conversation. What's worse is when I do talk with people, it's almost always subjects where I have nothing to add to the conversation. I need hobbies besides pretending to understand literature and philosophy, working and reading political op-ed, but everything else is so goddamn boring.

>>17311119
no anon you're the boring one

>>17308544
I know how you feel bro, I've felt the exact same way and I'm a year younger than you.

The thing that gets me over it is just a continuous reminder to look into the future. We're basically children, just starting out, but our lives will change so much in five years that it's not worth judging ourselves in what is essentially a pupal state.

Just set yourself up in such a way that you'll make inevitable progress and you'll get there. It may feel like nothing is going to change for you, but just take a step back from the present and look at your life from the broader perspective that you still have at least 40 years to achieve your dreams. That's perspective won't make shit happen for you by itself, but it should sober you out of your rut and allow you to start focusing on accomplishing your goals.

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I'm filled with hate.

I've slowly begun to hate everyone and, thing that comes across me throughout life. Lying has become such a common thing instilled in me that, fuck, I don't even recognize when I'm lying a large portion of the time whenever speaking to someone through small talk or, just a casual conversation.

It's now starting to feel like this anger is causing me to become despondent over everything.

>>17311090
I get that it is supposed to be a compliment but it just feels unpleasant to be constantly compared to his ex.
Every time he introduces me to someone they mention the age difference between me and his wife (12 years), or how he dropped her to date a young girl (she cheated on him and left him), and it just feels unpleasant.
It didn't bother me at the beginning but now it is fucked up.

>>17308501
Drugs will just send you deeper down the hole.

>>17311127
I thought I had that problem once upon a time, but for me I sort've realized I was just the same old person with a new layer of bitterness on top obfuscating the rest.

It's one of those things where I'll rant to my friends about how eugenics is good and how 60% of humanity consists of broken retarded pieces of shit anyway, but then when I'm walking down the sidewalk and I see a dude struggling with some boxes I ask if he needs help before I can even think about it.

I think that the hateful persona, no matter how real it feels, is just a defense mechanism we've developed. If we think we hate the world so strongly that everything seems flawed and fucked up, then we can always save face when we get hurt or when we fail. The never-ending hate feels masculine in a way too, like it fuels our self-esteem too and keeps our pride intact.

Well, maybe I'm projecting myself onto you here, but I've been trying real hard to let go of that shit and try to be introspective about why I feel the way I do so that I can come up with a healthier alternative. Just trying to get in touch with my deepest core values without focusing on the man I've been presenting myself as helps a lot.

>>17311107
I'm really glad to hear that. Journaling can feel weird at first, but it's a great way to engage with yourself, which at least for me was something I was missing without realizing it.
And, absolutely, go biking. Get out, feel the wind and the sun on your face. There's a world out there waiting for you. Talk to as many people as you feel comfortable with.
You have the tools in your own hands to improve how you feel about yourself, but remember you're never alone. I care, at least, because you're my fellow man, and I'd be surprised if there weren't others out there who feel the same way.
Keep it up. I'll never stop rooting for you.

I want to tear myself apart. Claw my throat out. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of being tired. Please just end it.

>>17311132
>unpleasant to be constantly compared to his ex.
I can see that. you are your own person, after all

>they mention the age difference between me and his wife (12 years)

jealousy
i got the same thing when people found out about the woman i dated after my divorce (30 to 19)
women got mad af and dudes were openly envious


desu you just gotta live with it until you run out of people to get introduced to who knew about his old wife

>>17311122
>physics, philosophy and politics
>much of the natural world, the human experience and the people and systems who control your quality of life
>fucking boring
Is this an epic new meme? I'd this where you tell me you can't be the kind of person who has "real life experiences" and the kind that reads books that weren't written for teenage boys at the same time?
You can tell me I'm too serious or not fun or a stuck up cunt all day, but I am not boring.
Solid 7/10 bait

I saw an old coworker who I used to like, still sorta do, but she didn't like me so I knew better than to ask her out. I saw her today and we said hi and all, and I thought I would feel good seeing her but I couldn't take it and fucking cried when I was walking away.

I don't know what's wrong with me. maybe it's stress and loneliness in general. fuck I feel like shit.

>>17311107
This >>17311175

There's basically no way in hell either of us will ever see you, but something to keep in mind is that no matter how malicious the average person might seem to you, the average person still has largely good intentions, and there are plenty of people that will always go out of their way to lend you a hand or an ear when you're hurting.

Most people are generally apathetic to others only because they believe it's not their problem, but on the flipside, most people will never spurn you if you approach them earnestly one-on-one.

Don't ever be afraid to reach out, because I'll caution you that the other option (Waiting for others to notice your pain and reach out.) simply doesn't happen very often.

You have to advocate for yourself in all situations.

>>17311200
wow you sound fucking incensed. i must have hit a nerve.

you really MUST be boring or you would not have gotten so #triggered by my comment.

You yourself said you have no hobbies- if it all bores you the problem is YOU, you fucking wastrel.

You're boring

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>Start talking to some girls on OKC
>Conversations seem to be going well
>All of a sudden they just stop messaging

It's honestly disheartening. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing wrong.

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I lost mine. It won't be much longer now.
You knew. It's not your fault.

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>be decent-looking, pretty /fit/ (8-pack halfway done)
>put on an /fa/-as-fuck outfit, tight pants, excellent colors, the works
>walk downtown, feel like checking out this new art store
>catch pretty girls staring
>random guy sitting outside at a mcdonald's stops me
>pulls out a rumpled set of glossy pages
>"we need to get 15 guys for a photoshoot, middle of next month..."
>turn down the offer, i'm flying out at the end of the week
>wouldn't have accepted anyway

Life is strange. I feel like the gifts I have are wasted on me. I don't really like people all that much, no friends or anything, and it wouldn't make a difference if I was ugly as shit.

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My parents are getting a divorce, I'm a ugly asshole, my friends are starting to hate me, I can't talk to anyone, and I can't do anything.

>>17305888
I'm the ugliest of my friends
Still single out of all of them
Experiencing Hair loss (trying to correct it at least)
Beard doesnt connect neither does my moustache
Nose crooked to the right, not extremely noticeable
Right front tooth chipped
Geographic tongue
Big 5" scar from my naval-down to remove cyst
5'6"
Dark skin because I work in the sun alot
Socially awkward because of all of this, always playing victim and also I was kinda spoilt when I was a kid so not gettin attention in a pos manner is all new to me
So so tired of everything, and I could never relate to someone without them pitying me or just not getting it
I want to change for the better, but I have no idea how to
Also I dread the reality that is world, everything is fucked

>>17311231
You're messaging and not making a move. When you've got twenty other dicks beating down their door you need to move fast.

I'm sad and lonely and I don't know what to do about it. I hate myself and want to improve but I always give up and I don't know why. I do have a set plan for my future, and it's not a bad one, but it's going to be pointless if I can't learn to love myself and in turn find somebody else to love and who loves me.

It's all so pointless.

You were my first real love as an adult. You ruined love for me, you ruined sex for me, you ruined my already low confidence and on top of it all, you still make little effort.
I fell out of love with you a long time ago but I stay because I'm too scared to leave. Your soft dick doesn't really help either. Anyway, I need to leave you because I'm not happy with you. I'll tell you after the 22nd. Good luck.

>>17310975
If you find a way, I'd love to see you.

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>mfw I'll never watch TV late into the night with a girl and some popcorn in my arms
>mfw I'll never have sex
>mfw I'll never find reciprocity in another person
>mfw I'll just die alone with my bees and their hives

I miss my father, its been 1 month now since he passed... and my situation is not improving... at first I felt his strength, felt like I could take on my life with the courage, with the inspiration of his legacy... but I am weak... I want to believe he can see us, but Im not really proud right now. This is so fucking hard.

men are too stupid to date. not only are you incapable of holding a conversation, but you can't even fuck me right.

4chan is probably the best message board on the internet and this is despite all the overt misogyny and racism which ought to offend me more than it does.

I've put up with a ceaseless, unending, harrowing loneliness my entire life.
I've never connected with someone, truly... felt it.
The only thing that keeps me going is the idea that there's a girl out there who can fill the space behind my shining bright exterior.
I'm the honest, happy and optimistic one of all my friends.
I'm the one who sees others for the good in their hearts.
I'm the one who makes the best out of the situations, and turns them into favorable events.
Those close to me say that I'm an infinite wellspring of light, a title that I hold dear.
But man, it gets harder and harder.
Each day spent entirely isolated in my thoughts and dreams, it weighs me down more and more.

>>17311864
Who told you to date dumbasses?

>>17311864
this is top keks desu

i want to get better at drawing weeb shit, but i'm in my mid-20s and my drawings are chris-chan tier even though i've been trying to practice every day for the past several months and trying to draw is something that's been a recurring thing throughout my lifetime until i look at the results and find that they're eye-bleedingly bad

then i go and see that half the people drawing this stuff are still underageb& and already, in most cases, at the worst, decent, and at best, on par with people who've been doing this shit for years and years and it just seems like everywhere i look everyone is at least decent at art except for me. is it because i'm an autist? Is it true that there's a genetic basis for these sorts of skills?

i just want to produce derivative works. it's either that or eventually an hero once things go south enough, which they've slowly been heading towards doing

>>17305888
What if every woman I have been with was lying when she told me I was the best she'd ever had?

>>17311921
So what if they were? If they were lying, they were probably saying it because they wanted you to feel good about yourself.

>>17311920
Do you draw free hand off the top of your head or from reference?

I'm dating a girl whom is living with me and I love emotionally. We've been dating for about 3 months, quick I know. It's very difficult, almost impossible for me to ejaculate with her. I'm attracted to her, just her inside doesn't feel as pleasurable to me as other women have. Lately, more and more I've been thinking about another woman that I had a fling with before my current relationship. I was more physically attracted to her but I have never found a better personality match than with the girl I am currently with. I'm confused and frustrated emotionally and sexually. I really just want to be able to fully enjoy the woman that I'm with and I'm furious that sex is ruining things for me. Can anyone please give me some advice?

THERE IT IS, THERE'S THE PRETENSE. trying to get me sick. real classy. lets get something straight, you're not as clever as you think. people that try to do this shit never are. its inherently weak, cowardly, and unintelligent.

a few things, laxatives don't do anything to me. you're not the first to try. actually laxatives in general don't work like in the movies, stupid. Secondly, it's a pretty serious crime to dose someone's drink, even if it's just tea. though I never finish drinks left unattended anywhere near you guys. thirdly, I intentionally eat very little on the rare occasion you're anywhere near my food, don't eat anything I didn't monitor during prep cooking, and serving when you're involved, and I threw away the rest of it after checking it, what'd you do? smear it on the floor next to the dog bowl? like I wouldn't notice the big ole ball of hair or dirt? well you had to get some on that cause you forgot the "sauce" on the rest right? who fucking winks anymore? you're so thick.

real unfortunate. I'll be busy for the foreseeable future. even family you only give so many chances. you're just unpleasant people full of fear and hate. sorry not sorry, it's not my problem, it's not my fault, and I'm not dealing with it.

you know, you could hurt me, if i ever knew what it was to have family. but I didn't so this isn't any different to me in terms of how to handle it than anyone else in the world.

someday you'll wish I was there and i hope you remember this, and the time you tried to light my car on fire, along with all the other shit. real unfortunate, real stupid.

>>17311920
Do you just practice or do you actually study when it comes to drawing?
No weeb wants to hear it, but you gotta study from life and learn how things work for real (anatomy, colour theory, shadows, ect) for it to translate over to anything stylized.

>>17311940
pound the shit out of her, or stick it in her ass

>>17311949
Whenever I go at it hard with any woman they get too wet for my dick to even feel anything anymore

I feel fucking done.

I'm in a relationship that I'm beginning to feel more resentful in than loving
I feel like I'm going nowhere in life despite going back to school and trying to put together a plan for after
I miss my parents and haven't seen either in years because all of us are too fucking poor to travel to one another
I have no friends in this god damned city, just people I talk to while at school, but no one I could rely on if I needed a hand
I feel old and full of regret for my life's choices, especially watching a younger friend live the life that is almost exactly what I wanted to do when I was their age but just couldn't at the time.

I always thought I'd wait until both my parents were gone and then I'd just end myself too, but I don't think I can wait that long anymore.

>>17311933
Well, I think it's shitty to lie to your partner, and lying about that creates a false sense of sexual adequacy that reinforces bad lovemaking.

>>17311966
I agree with you on that, but the original post made it sound more like Anon was anxious about his sexual adequacy after the relationship(s) where said lying happened were already over, which is pointless.

>>17311208
Actually, you're the one who's triggered. Why are you getting so defensive if someone has a serious personal problem with not finding anything interesting? You KNOW that's something that person needs to fix. That person indicated in no way, that things being boring is the fault of everyone else. It has nothing to do with you.

Take the dirty tampon out you wretched cunt. I'm tired of all this egocentric bullshit.

>>17308399
Explain please

I wanna kill myself so badly right now but Im too scared to do it. I literally have some many advantages in life and have had such an easy upbringing, but maybe thats why I hate myself so much. I really wish my consciousness would just shut off.

>>17312019
Having an easy upbringing is a good thing, but it doesn't guarantee that you're going to be happy or that everything is going to work out for you. In fact in many cases it deprives you of a lot of important life experiences and stunts your growth in as many ways as it provides advantages to you. So don't feel guilty that you're not "living up to your upbringing" or anything like that. You don't owe anybody anything except yourself. You need to find a way of living that makes sense for you and just keep doing that, maybe making adjustments if necessary, until you find a sense of purpose and happiness in the world. That's how you form an identity and that's how you carve out your little island of happiness in a universe of meaningless chaos.

Enjoy!

I feel like my dad is trying to make up for years of not talking to me/being close to me with being overly affectionate now. He calls me a nickname he never has before and kisses me on the cheek/demands a hug when I visit home, now, it's really weird. There is no good way for me to tell him that it makes me uncomfortable without seeming like a horrible daughter but it isn't MY fault that we don't have a relationship and never hugged before I left home. It isn't MY fault that my mom is the only parent that spent quality time with me and talked to me. I always got this feeling around my dad like he was unhappy with me because he was always either silent or screaming. He uses this fake-loud-upbeat-voice with me that he uses for company and I hate it so much, I feel like nobody will understand what I mean by this post and will call me a bitch but it's just how I feel.

>>17311981
lmao triggered cunt is triggered

>>17312046
I don't think you're a bitch in feeling like this.
My dad and I had a shit relationship when I was growing up with him always making me feel like I was a disappointment to him or something. He discouraged me more than encouraged me in most aspects of my life and I blame him for why I couldn't just get on with my life for years.
We only started to get along after he nearly died a few years back.
It's still awkward as fuck talking to him and all that shit even now, but he at least tries a bit.

But I totally get where you're coming from and I think it's normal to feel how you feel.

>>17312046
I know how you feel, I was never really close to my dad growing up either. Though in my case it was partially my fault because I was a shitty kid who would rather stay home and play vidya than go out to eat/do day trips with him because I was lazy. But at the same time he also never tried to be involved in my daily life or the activities that I enjoyed. He's trying to make up for it now that he and my mom are getting divorced I think.

I guess the question you need to ask yourself is, do you want a relationship with him now or do you kinda just not want to associate with him anymore?

>>17312046
Do you still feel hate for him? You have to talk about it with him.. from what I understand he neglected you before but now hes trying to make up for it, which requires courage and the feel that he wronged you.

So.. he must be interested in making things better, I would try to be brutally honest with him, not insulting, just being straight forward with your feelings towards him. Make a plan to fix it together?

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I feel like i watch too much porn and jack off too much. Working out for a college track team has complicated my life, and I want to be able to put myself into social situations at night again. Even so, this summer has just turned to me twiddling my fucking dick waiting to go back up to New York for school again. But even so, I'm scared that what happened socially at school this year is going to repeat itself. I mean, shit dude, I was on a team and I still couldn't pull a roomate. Some of that isolation i can attribute to this head surgery I had in the winter, but still. The uncertainty of my living situation for the next year has really been bothering me. I just want to have bro-tier relationships with people.

I have a good life. Good student in the university, good looking, good health, a couple of good friends, supportive family, and a dream. Despite all that, I don't feel happy. I don't even feel sad, I am just angry and have been a bitter person since young.
Maybe are all the idiots that I have to deal in my life, maybe tomorrow I will be ok, or I am just like that.

>>17310892
Hehe. Apparently, she does.

She hit me up for a booty call a couple hours after I posted.

Thank you, O Glorious Wizard in the Sky!

I don't want to learn anything anymore. It's kind of odd, but all of history and knowledge now seems like such boring shit, and the fact that I still have some years in education left makes this pretty bad. I just want to live a comfy life listening to music and being content, and the rest seems like such a waste.

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I'm worried I only have friends because they want into my pants, but I'm not attractive so at least they want into my personality's pants.

Today I called the place I applied to last week. I found out I'm one of 200 applicants for the position, and I'm seriously doubtful that a phone call is enough to set me apart. Now I'm feeling pretty down. I wanted this job so badly.

i don't know how to deal with radical "progressives" like i'm a handsome white dude i'm privileged as fuck and i understand that, I support any movement, i'm actively trying to not be a racist but me smiling on the street at a black person is considered a microaggression???? what the fuck i smile at everybody i'm not faking shit to seem more "comfortable" around you like what the fuck i'm just a nice person

I feel like I'm dying. I just want attention, to fit in and feel like I belong, for people to listen to me. But instead everyone hates me. I'm not worth anything. I don't fit in or belong anywhere. No one wants to be my friend, or partner, or anything. I have no purpose.

Kyla,

I'm a wreck without you. I hope by some miracle you see this. Haven't slept more than a couple hours a night this week wondering if I should text or call you...

-John

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The first person I've realistically thought about having a long-term relationship with lives very far away.

They are what is right with the world.

I know long-distance relationships are ill-fated the further time goes by. It's been enough to make me start to grow up and take some kind of accountability for my life.

I know those things ought to be done for one's self, and in large part it really is.

But she made me feel like a person again. I don't know how to articulate how grateful I am to her for that.

I love you, H. Thanks for being who you are and showing me who I am and have the potential to be. You are the good I forgot to see in the world.

So I met a chill guy one night(I'm a guy and no im not gay....he's just super chill so we talked a shitload). As we are talking the topic of drugs and shrooms comes up.

I say I've always wanted to try shrooms but never had anyone chill to do it with. He says he has a place to himself and is an expert on tripping. Says he can take care of me.

So we exchange numbers and he says to call him when ready.


Now guys......is this a bad idea to take his offer. Could he be a cop or crazy person or something?

>>17312212
Danny?

>>17312053
>no u
yeah i was just kind of reading the thread and i clearly saw that you were triggered

want some midol sweetie?

>>17312375
>TRIGGER TRIGGER NO TRIGGER NO U TRIGGER

fucking kill yourselves you're both brainless idiots.

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>>17312180
>I'm worried I only have friends because they want into my pants, but I'm not attractive so at least they want into my personality's pants.
kek

>>17312358
Why would you think that's someone specific? There are many, many anons feeling that way.

holy shit why did i do that? he's attractive and intelligent and it's really intimidating.
i can't be in this guy's presence, eughhh
incoming spaghetti catastrophe

>>17312392
what did you do?

I feel so down randomly. I can handle it but it's happening now so I'm gonna bitch.

>>17312396
nothing really.

i told this guy off and then said i'd make it up to him with drinks

not in the way that you think, it's a group affair and i'm not looking to impress him or anything, i can't even throw far enough to reach his league but still...

perhaps i should get a head start, so i don't end up looking like a such fumbling fujo mess.

it was a good idea at the time!

>>17311195
Yeah, I will - It's weird how all her friends talk shit abut me when she is the one who left him. It's like they were expecting him to die alone or date people uglier than her. And how his friend kind of make super sexual jokes in front of me, as if I couldn't possibly ever get them.
Well, whatever, it will stop.

>>17312563
When people talk shit about you, one up them. Yes, and...

Same deal for the friend who's making sexual jokes. Just blow him out by escalating the jokes until he's uncomfortable.

AHHHHHHHH Why do guys NEVER read what I want in my postings? I explicitly state what type of guys I want to talk to yet I still get these DOLTS who keep messaging me without even READING the one or two sentences I put in my postings. Why do they want to get into pointless conversations that go NOWHERE because I'm not even attracted enough to them? I know they're fucking desperate but they NEVER had a chance with me anyways especially if they ignore what I want. Jesus fucking Christ I'm tired of dealing with these morons.

Remember how I thought you sided with him sometimes and you said you didn't? That's fine, it's in the past, but I need to say it. Maybe you'll see things from a different perspective now.
We were always a team. Partners in crime.
Then we joined them. Sometimes I felt wronged and let you know. I let everyone know (sometimes too much and too often, that's on me). And you know for a fact a lot of times I was right, despite you and them covering it up. Slowly, they turned you against me. Saying I went against the group. Not once I did it. Ever. It was quite the contrary. I had proof, you knew, they knew. They kept quiet about it and so did you. That is going against the group. Telling everyone they suck went against the group. Threatening them went against the group. In the end, telling one of ours they were just pretending to be friends with them, that went against the group. Not that it mattered. The group was done. Over.
That person was showing me something that was said that concerned you. Maybe that's what they actually think, or did at the time. But you didn't consider that.
Although you doubted me. That shows how against me you were. But you didn't see it. You didn't want to see it. They threw you against me, taking advantage of your weak state and our own issues, slowly chipping you away until you saw it as they wanted you to.
It's much too late now and I don't seek to turn you against them. I do hope, somewhere deep down, that you'd see how as flawed as I was, I wasn't against the group. It'd mean quite a bit to me. If I were against the group, I would not have defended one of ours, even though they didn't defend me back. How is that going against the group?
In a way, I feel you were manipulated against me. They all feel that way.

You are not weak, you're the opposite. You can think for yourself and I never had any doubt of that. You allowed it to happen due to circumstances, that's all.
I do not blame you for it, just think on it from an outside perspective.

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Paid £120 to see a prostitute yesterday but my dick stayed soft the entire time despite numerous handjobs and blowjobs so I couldn't have sex. Biggest waste of money ever!
Now I realise I have to cure my deathgrip. Just sucks that I can't even have sex in my shitty life due to it.

>>17312604
Yeah, where are all of those seven foot tall ivy league physicist athletes? Where???

>>17312605
Toxic social circles will be toxic.

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>>17305888
I'm 20, it's summer and I feel like I'm wasting my life. I don't know how to properly enjoy life anymore. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to because I'm so mentally disturbed.

OCD is a fucking bitch. I feel like there's something wrong with me, I'm incapable somehow, like I'm gonna die soon. I'm scared, but emotionless at the same time, and due to circumstances I don't have all that much human contact at this time, so it's hard to get myself distracted.

My time is slipping away. I want to enjoy my youth, just let me be ignorant. All I feel like doing right now is pity myself.

>pic semi related: girls i'd never get to date. Am kissless virgin, I want to be loved yet freak out when met with intimacy. Let me die

>>17312608
Lel go back to r9k jackass

>Hyperthyroidism
Nice

>>17312625
>Hypothyroidism
Just

Thank you for wasting 3 months of my life. I really really wish you would have told me before that you didn't have any interest in me sexually so I could have cut losses and moved on.

AHHHHHHHH Why do girls NEVER read what I want in my postings? I explicitly state what type of girls I want to talk to yet I still get these CUNTS who keep messaging me without even READING the one or two sentences I put in my postings. Why do they want to get into pointless conversations that go NOWHERE because I'm not even attracted enough to them? I know they're fucking desperate but they NEVER had a chance with me anyways especially if they ignore what I want. Jesus fucking Christ I'm tired of dealing with these bitches.

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My wife is leaving me for a guy she barely met two months ago. They haven't even really been hanging out much outside of work, just exchanging texts a ton, and kissed, but she refuses to cut him out of her life, so I'm moving 600 miles back to the rental home I own. A whole life, two properties, a burgeoning business, savings, vehicles, and everything else will be going to shit. I'm guessing many people would end their lives over something like this, but I haven't thought about suicide since this started happening, and I've thought about committing suicide almost every day for years. Maybe I was just complacent about our love life and didn't notice she started to hate me, or maybe she just can't stand it to be away from this guy. Oh well, at least I had sex.

>>17312644
>>17312608
Jesus fucking Christ the r9k butthurt. I don't know why it's unreasonable of me to get upset that guys don't pay attention to my preferences and even message me to demean me for what I want. And no, I'm not looking for a fucking Chad nor am I attracted to that type so get your heads out of your asses with that shit meme.

>>17312646
Lol .. what ..

She is leaving you, she won't give shit unless you give it to her freely. My advice would be to lawyer up, give her jack shit, keep all your stuff, and smile when the money you used to give her now goes towards your cocaine and hooker addiction.

>>17312664
What are you looking for?

>>17312687
I guess a lot of frustration lies in the fact that I'm looking for somewhat who's exactly like my ex. Basically, I state that I'm looking for a guy who's really into crossdressing and is more on the feminine side. I keep getting guys who are nothing like that though. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I need to just let it go and not bother with looking for a date for a while. It was my first relationship and it's only been about two months so I guess I need more time to recover from it.

>>17312704
Are you sure you're not homosexual?

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>>17305888
I wish feminism would just fuck off back into its dark corner where it came from.. fuck that whole bullshit.

>>17306530
someone's gotta start beating his wife, it seems.

>>17311799
Initials?

>>17312727
someone's gotta start joining us IN THE CURRANT YEAH
beat your wife, go to jail. this isn't your sad little red pill fantasy, this is life. Thank you.

>>17312610
It's funny, I was called toxic, when all I did was try to keep the group together, saying several times I didn't want to lose the group. I suppose the good things are easy to overlook, though.

I was incredibly insecure growing up. I never thought I was worth anything even though I was placed in gifted classes and everyone told me I was so smart and important. I never got any girlfriends during high school up until after I graduated early. Then she came into my life. She was the first person I believed when she said I was worth something or that she was proud of me. She was the first person I didn't have to initiate contact with to hang out or talk to. She was the first person who accepted my insecurities and flaws rather than just ignore them, I never felt crazy or broken when I was with her. She had insecurities too and said I was the first guy she'd shared them with. She took my virginity. She took my first kiss. She made me feel special.
Now fast forward two years later, we've been through hell and back together. One day she just ends it. No reason. She still loves me though, just not romantically. She's never been dumped but claims to understand how I feel. I don't see her for a month, we begin hanging out again and she acts kinda flirty. I tell her I want to start over. She just wants to be friends and isn't looking for a relationship with anyone right now, but she still loves me.
That one person who promised never to hurt me, who made me feel larger than life, who I lived and breathed for, who I bailed out of the back of a police car, who I would've taken a bullet for- now wants to keep the only part of the relationship that requires no effort on her part, and wants me to pretend that she didn't make me feel smaller and more insecure and more unimportant than I have felt in my entire life.
I told her yesterday that I can't do it, that I want to be on friendly terms but I can't be a friend for her.
Why do I feel guilty about doing it /adv/?

>>17306337
Fckng normie

>>17308852
If you do not find hope or relief from that, or if you simply don't struggle finding your own path, I hope you simply don't ever need to. All the best, Anon.

>>17308364
Thank you, I needed to hear this.

I should be more than content with where I'm at in life right now, but somehow I feel like something is constantly missing.

I'm a 19 y/o college student that goes to school on enough scholarships that I won't be in crippling debt after I graduate. I play two sports, have a wonderful girlfriend, and pursuing a double major, however some grades were sub-par last semester because of the typical college freshman ideology (i.e. party every chance I had, taking bs classes that had nothing to do with my majors, etc.) The classes that I DID do well in were the ones that had to be completed for my majors.
>inb4 "lol liberal arts college degrees hue hue xD"

I decided that this summer is going to be the turning point in my life where I can put an end to my partying habits and focus on more important things such as academics, athletics and preparing myself for the "real world." I'm currently doing an internship in my home country, while the rest of the kids from my university only focus on partying. Even my teammates.

I know I'll be able to handle myself and keep away from the social scene, I know I can succeed in the classroom, and I know I can succeed on the court/ice. But somehow I feel like something isn't there, that needs to be. Maybe its just that I haven't had the opportunity to see the results? I feel like its more than that.

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23KB, 385x385px

I'm 21 now.
Remembered that for the last 4 birthdays I told myself
>you need to change
>stop being a lazy fuck

Still lazy, still didn't change.

This girl I'm friends with that I used to date has recently gone back to her abusive ex boyfriend, and it's making me feel like shit.

I miss her and want to help her out, but all I can really do aside from beating the ever loving shit out of her abusive ex is make kind suggestions. I can kind of understand why she would go back though, I've stayed in shitty relationships because the thought of being single sucks like hell or something like that.

Unrelated but he asked her to marry him back in December, she said no and about a week later he broke into her house and strangled her half to death, got out on bail somehow. Real low-life piece of shit.

>>17313099
you're pretty pathetic

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1MB, 245x225px

Today I'm breaking up with my girlfriend, and I can't even cry about it.
I need to move on, this is stifling.

Congrats.

>>17312205
stop caring what stupid people that are too caught up in their own insecurities, anger, and fear think. there is nothing you can do in that situation that person is going to be happy with. so you give them the same response you'd give to any random that decides to lose their shit at you for smiling, make a face like you smell some piss, that piss being the smell of crazy bullshit and "ain't my problem", and then you walk away and go about your non prejudiced day.

oh it's one of these days where I'm gonna be a blunt, completely unapologetic, but unarguably rational, asshole. does it make me a bad person that i kinda love these days?

>>17312604
pbtpbptpbtpbppbtpbptpbptbppbptbptpptpbtpbptbpt

>>17313129
How?

>>17306747
if that's you in the pick, you look great

>>17306757
you're not shit. You might be weird, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. I know that feel, and I also know that if you truly are trying, then things are surely changing.

Now look back, look back at what you've been up to and be sincere with yourself. Are you really that much of a piece of shit? Have your efforst have really been worth nothing?

Are you really going to quit?

I know your pain right about now, and have known for a while. And I'll tell ya what, I'm not feeling particularly high and positive about my future career right now, among other things, but I know that if I don't keep trying, I'm sure I'll go nowhere. If I stop now, whatever it is, I'm assuring the chances will be 0. But if I try, then maybe I'll get there.

And I know that I will, as long as I keep going.

I wish I hadn't let you drive home that night. You left your glasses on my coffee table, I should have called you right away.

>>17313292
>i am jealous and angery that a woman chose a man who is not me so i feel the desire to beat the man up for daring to engage in a consensual relationship with MUH WIMMIN

instead of being violent and misogynistic, grow a fucking pair

Thanks for coming to see me yesterday, it made me feel excited to know you were waiting for me. Again, I questioned myself and I wasn't sure if it was what you wanted, I couldn't see enough, the recognition was patchy, I could feel everything and the mood was right but I had somewhere to be, a few tasks to sort out, and imlove our reality, please come back, I'm addicted to you and everything about you, I guess I didn't expect it and for you to be in that way, and life has taken it's toll, I want to weather it together, I meant evey word, and every step closer to you, I love you to come for me, come with me, I know I could never commit and you think I didn't mean some thing lovely that we share, I was never connected to someone that way, I kept running, but if you'd truly have me, it's not just a message to keep me further by being closer, that isn't how I feel us to be, I love it, my first thought was wow, I can't wait to see you again! As soon as I realised, and this time, just come inside. I can't stop thinking about you, I still feel the same, it's not just the novelty of the moment, although you took me by surprise, no one elsre quite like that, who I feel so proud to be beside, please let's have a relationship, a real one like I've never had, I can't know anything of before you, I'm here for you

>>17313899
Did you miss the bit where I said he was abusive or are you intentionally being retarded?

>>17313899
You also can't spell for shit and reek of beta /r9k/ expat.

I need a smoke so bad.

>>17306018
Listen there is over 7 billion people in the world, some will not like you some will. Don't fret over the people who judge you and naturally the confidence will build within you and it will attract people towards you.

>>17314138
I need a drink just as badly

I will never have sex because no one will ever find me attractive

I,

I'm at the state park now. It's a good place to escape. Yet somehow, I still can't escape these thoughts of you. You run through my mind, penetrate my thoughts, yet you physically evade me. It's been 97 hours since the last time I heard your voice, and 552 hours since the last time I saw you face to face. That was when you took my ring off.

I still cannot understand how you proclaimed to love me so much, going so far as to propose to me and put that ring on my finger, yet now you have blocked me on ever platform. You have shut me out.

How could you do this to me? What worries me more is that you know that my biggest fear is of abandonment. You promised me, gave you word, that you would stand by me; that if there was ever a time that we were meant to part ways, we would remain friends. You promised me that I could count on you.

You promised me that you would choose me; that you would stand up for me; that you would love me. Yet when we told your parents of our engagement, they rejected us as a couple, and you backed out of my life so quickly that I still cannot catch my breath.

I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I cannot breathe. You have thrown me away, and I have no idea why. You refuse to tell me. You refuse me. I am so lost.

I would rather be lost in these woods, not knowing my way out, than lost in this world without you. At least if I was lost in the woods, I know you would come find me. But the reality is that I am no more lost in this forest than I am lost inside my house. The part of me that is lost is you, and I know you will not come back, calling my name, seeking me out.

I gave you all of me. Now there's nothing left.

-Z

>>17314258
Wanna indulge?

>>17314279
Nah, I'll just keep shitposting to keep my mind off of it.

The more I try to convince myself of how futile it is to worry about what is undeniable the more I realize the monopoly these thoughts actually have over my life and how sad I am for contradicting myself

I swing between the extremes of being angry and apathetic. I don't really feel any sort of passion for anything anymore.
I got a taste of what my life could be like, but it would mean abandoning my boyfriend and while he's been annoying the shit out of me lately, I don't think I could so easily just up and leave.
Do I say fuck it and make plans to move on and live my life in what I think I will enjoy, or just keep on with what I have?

Why life are you such a cruel bitch?


You took my bud away from me

that woman down the street, her 7 year old daughter who fell in the shower and died yesterday. It was her last day of school, and her birthday was in a few days, she had a big ol party and everything planned out.

That girl who wentto school with my brother, who drown in the river 4 days ago, she JUST graduated highschool and got accepted into university.

That kid I went to school with, who got paralyzed from the neck down 3 years ago, yeah he got his degree despite his handicap. He died from complications a week ago.

Why the FUCK is life so rough sometimes.

>>17314296
Welp, good luck to you. Imma go and be weak.

>>17314262
You must be +18 to post here.

and to be less of a pretentious fuck, I'm talking about how I pretend that being a 21 years old virgin doesn't affect me when the fact that I think about it constantly proves otherwise

I really need to stop drinking. I have been drunk for almost a week straight. There must be a better way to get over you. I just actually liked you. I did never see you as a "fickfetzen" even though you saw me as exactly that. I loved you. I love you. This shit hurts.

>>17314355
it should, if we were living in the stone age, you'd have died a virgin. Or you'd be the equivalent of an 80 year old man virgin

>>17314359
I'm sad

>>17314365
id like to comfort you and tell you theres more to life than getting laid

But if we're being honest, procreation is the human beings sole biological purpose. Even though we've moved past it as a society, it's still hard to stray away from our biology so of course it sucks

>>17314383
I'm sad because I don't even know why it upsets me
When I think about it there is no rational reason for me to get sad over this, but I still do
I can't even love someone and I'm not horny at all, so there is no reason for me to desire to get laid and the fact that I'm contradicting myself so badly and that I can't understand why is what plunges me into this sucky feeling

>>17314356
I know how you feel, minus getting drunk. Though perhaps that would help me right now.
I'm just tired of how things really can only get worse with no sign of it getting better for me. Can't forgive myself, but have to get over it and move on. In the future, I'll look back at this when I've killed all emotions and resent myself even more. Ultimately, my situation has no bright side, even when it "resolves" with the only possibly result, it won't have had a bright side. It'll be sadness until eventual nothingness and the situation will end there. That's the only way it can actually "get better"

Denied by my own insecurity, hesitated because I was so certain it was already too late and then months later the insecurity turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and it really did become too late. They're even more serious about their new partner than they ever were with me, as they've shown the entire time.
Only outcome is just moving on, with it all behind me. That's another reason to look back in the future and resent myself. There's no bright side to any of this, just sadness into acceptance and the day where all of my emotions for them finally die sometime in the future. Is that really getting "better" for me? At least I have some grip on how much I hate myself now, but really I can only do exactly that. I basically put myself into a situation with no positive outcome and lost the person I loved.

Given time, I'll get over it. More months, a year or longer.

I pretend that I am a jack of all trades in real life, being able to do everything, when the reality is that I'm just a sad useless fuck

>>17314402
again, biology, need to reproduce, testosterone, evolutionary impriting ,CHEMICALS SON

>>17314416
Unfair

>>17314421
you seem like you're in the sour grapes sort of mindset.

>>17314432
Perhaps

I think that the more I try to make good games for my players the more I fuck up and end up with them having a bad time because of how bad I am, it makes me think that I should stop, they would probably be thankful
I think they are nice for the sake of it and sometimes loathe me

>>17314460
Friend, I started GMing not long ago. What system do you prefer? What genre? We could discuss things.

>>17314468
Homebrew of daggerfall
Very gamey like with high HP pools and damage

>>17314333
You take a risk. You're just existing if you don't.

>>17314015
>>17314010
kekt

it's not abuse if she seeks it out
you don't get to dictate what is or is not abuse for her, you pig

instead of getting mad, examine yourself and fix what is so repulsive about yourself

Anyone know how long coffee takes to wear off? I fucked up and drank two full cups, and now I can't relax.

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>>17314513
Did somebody hurt you anon? Are you abusing someone and attacking me because you can't handle what a piece of shit you are? Or are you just a shitty troll that spends his afternoons giving bad advice to piss people off? What pathetic little piece of shit are you anon?

>>17314621
Caffeine can stay in your system for a while, like 4-6 hours

>>17314770
Alright, thanks.

>>17314513
Oh I don't need to dictate what is and isn't abuse, the state has already done that for me when they hauled his ass in on new years for strangling her half to death. Are you going to be the piece of shit to defend a state certified woman beater?

>>17314828
I am defending her right to choose

>>17314947
So you'd prefer to play devils advocate to a white trash woman beating piece of shit than actually try to provide some sound advice to a person that really cares about her and doesn't like to see be treated like a doormat?

You like being a piece of shit anon?

Also if you actually read the other anons response you'd know that just because she chooses to go back to him doesn't mean it's right or she thinks it's right.

Why are you treating me this way?
I'm scared. Scared you're going to lie to me again. I know you deserve a second chance and I'm trying but I'm so scared.

And you haven't talked to me today at all.

This is hurting me and I don't know what to do. I want to be with you so badly.

I want someone to help me. I can't deal with this. It's like the worst cliffhanger I've ever been subjected to.

I'm not okay.

I'm sorry. I love you.

>>17314262
Zoe...

I am so sorry.

>>17314436
You should listen to 'Monosyllabic Girl' by NoFX.

Let me know what you think!

Thread reached bump limit (a while ago, sorry).
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