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How To Deal With Nosy People

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>[part1]
How the fuck do I deal with nosy/up in my business type people? I guess narcissistic is the word for some of their behaviour.

Here's the situation:

>Got a job working for some friends
>This job requires me to stay for a few days, and work all day in a small room with about 4 other people
>A few of the people are fine, but two of them love to dig into my business when there is nothing else to talk about
>They especially like to play the 'mommy' game, where they ask 'why haven't I taken care of x-debt yet? What is your sister doing? Why haven't you talked to her recently? Why don't you have a car yet? Why is your boyfriend not doing x for YOU, or why hasn't HE got a car yet?'

Now, I understand that taking advice from people is good. I completely agree with that and do take advice when I need to, but the way that these too dig in...it almost feels interrogative in a way.

I don't know them that well even though I have been working with them a while. I do not hang out with them outside of work, and they are not my fucking family.

I just feel like telling them off sometimes and saying it's none of their fucking business, and my life is my problem, and they don't need to fucking but into it. I don't want their fucking 'advice' or them telling me what I 'should' be doing, or 'need to do'.

I'm human, I'm going to make mistakes. My fiancée is human and he also makes mistakes. We are working on it, and we are happy. I don't like focusing on the negative all the time, and we deal with our problems as they arise, so when it comes to these type of people, I don't know how to fucking handle it!
>>
>[part2]
I can't be rude or mean because I have to basically live with them for a couple days, and even when I try to give them good news, they immediately change subjects to something bad, or ask about something that had been bothering me. And the part that gets me is that I don't volunteer my life info, they fucking question me about it. But if I were to say 'I don't want to talk about it', then they get on me about that too and say I'm being defensive or trying to hide shit. And again, I can take critique. I know when I mess up it's my fault, but the way they talk to me makes me feel like shit and that my fiancee is a shit person, which he isn't, and they never allow me much time to say the positives about him, or why I am with him.

How the hell can I deal with people like this? I don't want -their- advice, good intentions or not. I get enough shit from friends and family that love me.
>>
>>17163296
They sound like cunts. Give very vague answers. You could try invading their space in a similar manner. But keep the money flowing.
>>
>>17163306
I've tried giving vague answers and only keeping it to positive subjects, but they question me further. And I have actually tried to turn the questions around on them, in a positive way, but they either give a vague answer back and go quiet, or start say a little bit then question me more.

Usually I try to go to the bathroom or something, but god fucking forbid if I'm not working, then they get on me about that. I'm at the point where I almost want to fucking quit.

And I can't say anything to the boss because he's the type to come in and say 'alright, no body can do x anymore' or 'nobody can talk about their home life anymore', which will only make things worse for me.

It feels like middle school, and even when I was in middle school I hated this type of behaviour. I don't know what to do, but I have to keep this job for a while longer, at least till me and my fiancé can earn enough together to get our debts payed off and get a car.

But it depresses me too...I literally come back home and have to have a day or two to 'recover' and feel myself again, it's so fucking stressful.
>>
>>17163325
You could reply with "I've answered your question" or repeat your answer. I deal with nosy questions about my ethnicity from customers at my retail job because I'm a non white in Australia.

For example:
>where are you from?
>Australia
>no I mean your background
>Melbourne
>what about your parents
>I don't know.
>>
>>17163355
I'll try repeating myself...

I just feel like they are judging me all the fucking time, and though I can usually deal with that alright and not let it get to me, one of them turns into a snotty bitch with me. Never anything bad enough that I could call her out on it (not that I want to, I hate fighting and I hate putting people down), but she makes rude little comments sometimes. Or teases me for being too friendly with one of the guys that works there.

The teazing is what gets me because I feel like if I let her do it, she'll convince herself that something is actually going on there and she'll either get jealous, or shit talk with the other people, which will turn into trouble eventually.
>>
>>17163382
I find that not caring about pleasing someone who is already disrespecting you works wonders. How do you react when you're picked on with nosy questions? Do you get visibly mad/embarrassed?
>>
>>17163399
I did get really embarrassed at the beginning (they were questioning me about my partner and saying I was getting really defensive, which, in hindsight, I was a bit defensive. That's my partner after all, and they were making him out to be some piece of shit without letting me explain anything), but the last time I went to work I was able to handle it a little better...

I do get embarrassed easy though, especially when I'm being questioned. I've been trying to work on that for years and still struggle with it, but I didn't let myself get too embarrassed last time.
>>
>>17163408
Maybe take up a hobby that makes you less self conscious and more socially aware such as a team sport or some kind of art like being part of a local band. I'm still working on my self consciousness but being having practise at dealing with difficult people in retail or being able to laugh off looking silly while doing team sports really helped.
>>
>>17163425
Hmm...I don't really have the time to do that, but I think you're right about the self conciousness. I was feeling more confident last time when I was able to not get so embarrassed.

I'll try and focus on that before I go to work, I have been slacking on the exercise and such. I went from bike riding a couple hours every other day, to practically being lucky to get in a thirty minute jog once a week...

Alright, thank you. I'm going to focus on that and hope if works, but I'm going to have to talk to my doctor first. My allergies have gotten so bad the last year that I need an inhaler by my side almost constantly if I get a reaction to anything, shit sucks.
>>
>>17163296
poop in your hand and throw it at them. i guarantee you they will not bother you anymore.
>>
>>17163442
Oh god I wish this was one of those types of jobs where I could do this just before saying "I QUIT!'
>>
>>17163451
just believe in yourself, anon. the power is within you.
>>
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>>17163463
I HAVE THE POWER?!
>>
I have a nosy coworker like that too. In the beginning, she would poke me and ask me where I was from, how old I am, etc. The way I dealt with her was to tell her that I don't talk about my private life when I'm at work. Fortunately, we work different shifts so I don't have to deal with her that often.
I think the way to deal with nosy people is to be honest and not give a fuck if you offend them.
>>
>>17163296
"Guys, I'm a little uncomfortable talking about my personal business. Let's change the subject. Did you see that episode of XXX on TV last night?"
Thread posts: 16
Thread images: 3


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