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I drink occasionaly. Drugs, almost never. Now, I recently decided

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I drink occasionaly. Drugs, almost never. Now, I recently decided to get proper fucking annihilated as part of my celebration for graduating college. I'm now applying to research positions in the medical field. It dawned on me that drug tests are now a hurdle rather than a free space.

I know people have methods for eliminating weed from your system, so how do I do that, and what's the time estimate on accomplishing that? I wanted the opinion of true experts, which is why I'm here on /adv/ today.
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seriousmonkeybizzness if you can't find monkey whizz at your local head shop. It works if you keep the temperature correct.

You can also just save some money and get a friend's piss.

These are the only guaranteed ways to pass a drug test sans just not smoking period. I've used both methods with success. I have friends that use the synthetic frequently for random tests at work.
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>>17162371
Most doctors experiment with drugs especially in college so I wouldn't worry about it. I got an over the counter drug test at Walgreens and found that weed was eliminated from my system in about a week but depending on your body and amount you smoke I heard it can take up to a month to not show up in your pee, even longer if you get a follicle test. When are you expected to be tested?
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>>17162409
I had some edibles, and I never get high. That was my first time getting actually high from dealing with weed.

When I am expected to be tested? I have no idea. I'm applying to jobs now, and I'd like to have one within two or three weeks. Not all of these jobs mentioned a drug test, but I've had to overlook some because they explicitly stated they'd need a drug test.
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>>17162371

Zmart thing tu dew for a doktur
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>>17162424
When did you eat the edibles. Edibles are harder to predict so I don't fuck with them too much. If it was only one time it's something that could be explained anyway.
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>>17162424
If it was a one time thing it'll probably be out of your system within a week at most. The whole '30 day' thing is usually only if you're a heavy smoker.

That being said, it wouldn't hurt to exercise and just get everything out of your system anyway. Worst comes to worse, you could buy some kind of synthetic urine or use a detox IF they do require a test.
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>>17162796
>>17162837
Like... two days ago, but that's a relief to hear that it shouldn't take too long. What is this detox I've heard about? I called my mother to ask her about how she deals with this since she smokes on the regular, and she mentioned hearing about a substance that nullifies it or something like that.
Also: I'm not a doctor. By research positions, I meant research assistant/bitch. I fucking wish I had my life that together.
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>>17163181
There's teas and shit that claim to speed up your metabolism but I think it's all snake oil. Just keep hydrated. Some people say exercise, but if you're not overweight, you should be fine (thc is fat soluble so the common beliefs is that it gets stored in your fat cells).
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THC binds to your fat so the skinnier and healthier you are the less time it will "stay in your system"

Even someone who chiefs like me can be clean in a couple weeks of hard exercise and no smoking.

You're lack of having stores of THC built up in your hamsized inner thigh will make things very easy. Get clean piss if you need to take something now; if youve got at least a week know just run a few K every day and drink some cranberry juice.

Then switch to fucking acid like a real med student.
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Go online, and find which OTC drugs give false positives; for example, some antihistamines give a false positive for marijuana.

Tell them you took those.

It's worked for me.
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>>17164305
>Then switch to fucking acid like a real med student.
Lmao why is this so true
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