[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

How do I enjoy life again?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 9
Thread images: 1

File: ZANZUP.jpg (65KB, 658x370px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
65KB, 658x370px
A few years ago I had a bad breakup that fucked me up. It wasn't even that bad, just the normal shit that everyone goes through at one point or the other - she hadn't gotten over her ex, and pretended she liked me to try and get back at him. I should have brushed it off and moved on with someone else, but for some reason I couldn't. I've always been private and introverted, but I shared everything with her and trusted her completely, and was so angry with myself when I found out she was using me. I didn't tell any of my friends about it, and gradually just stopped talking to people and becoming as reclusive as I could be. People started to think I was an asshole but I didn't care, I just wanted to say a big fuck you to the world and withdraw from it as much as possible.

Now I'm not as depressed as I was then, but I've never regained that sense of actually enjoying life, I just tolerate it because the alternative is worse. I'm pretty high functioning - I set myself goals and hit all of them, but take no pleasure in any of it. I'm open to the possibility of meeting a girl, but at the same time I'm incredibly defensive and find it hard to meet anyone who fits my criteria, so I'm alone most of the time. I can still feel pleasure, but nothing I do contributes makes me feel like I'm a real, living person fulfilling his potential. The only time I've actually experienced fun in the last few years was when I was travelling, but I know I can't do that all the time. I want to learn to enjoy myself on a day-to-day basis in my normal life. But I can't imagine any future where I'm happy. I feel like that naïve part of me died when I got depressed, and the rest of me just sort of carries on without it.

So what do? Anyone have anhedonia and manage to get over it?
The stereotypical answer is to get involved with charity.
>I shared everything with her and trusted her
>was so angry with myself when I found out she was using me
Why are you angry at yourself for being nice caring person? Don't be so hard on yourself, trusting others is standard case. Even if she was a bitch, it doesn't mean you should never trust anybody ever again. That is a long term plan how to get suicidal.

> I didn't tell any of my friends about it
You should. That is one of many things friends are good for.
>stopped talking to people
Yea, here we are going suicidal.
>no sense of actually enjoying life.

Dude, you just got your first scar on your soul. This isn't fatal. There are many people with much more terrible experiences and they still manage to hold out fine. There are nice people somewhere in the world outside. Cutting contact with your friends won't help you. Just forget about your miserable experience and move on.

>So what do?
No matter what I will type, you already know the answer. Just live your life, do something you enjoy in free time and move on.
Good luck anon.
i am concerningly similar which threatens the self satisfaction I rely on from my uniquness.
However, I do have something you might try. I find excessive indulgence in nostalgia does the trick. For me that meant old game consoles, lego and the original TMNT films.
Thanks, maybe you're right - although when I was travelling I spent a few months volunteering in Africa. I enjoyed experiencing the new culture, but got very little satisfaction out of the actual volunteering work itself. Maybe it's because I'm very cynical and thought that we were only having a negligible impact, I don't know. As bad as it sounds, I'm so stuck in my own head and my own problems that I don't really care about other people. I wish I didn't feel that way, but the reality is I do.

She wasn't even that much of a bitch - just someone going through a difficult time who made a mistake and then apologised for it after. This sort of thing happens all the time to18-25 year olds, I know. I don't know why my reaction to it was so bad. I just don't know how to let people in again after it ended. That goes for friends as well as potential partners, I just don't connect with people in the same way anymore. There's a distance between us. I wish I could find an activity that I really enjoy, but nothing that gives me that sense of fulfillment now, it all seems pointless.

I actually think basking in nostalgia makes things worse for me. There's two things I'm nostalgic for - my childhood (where I was happy and carefree) and one travel experience (where I was with some new friends, off the grid for a while, and felt like I could start again). However, thinking about these things just makes me upset that it can't be like that now.
if you get upset by the nostalgia then you've still got a bit of wiggle room before my levels of apathy i reckon.
good luck pal, hope you find what you're looking for
>we were only having a negligible impact,
Check out www.givewell.org. It's all about how effectiveness.
Thread posts: 9
Thread images: 1

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.