Can't move on.

Holy fuck. As an Asian male who has been in an incestuous relationship with my cousin, I'm really fucking sorry. I can't even begin to describe how truly sorry I feel for you, man. Try to distract yourself with books, music, or something that isn't too destructive. Maybe lift weights. Just do something to occupy yourself. Good luck man.

>>17152996
Thanks man. It's so fucked up that I can't tell anyone. None of my friends understand why I don't have a girl by my side despite having so many of them approach me. I'm Asian as well, and my parents ask me all the time when I'm getting married. The worst fucking part is looking at the mirror, all I see is her in my eyes.
Did you get over your cousin?

>>17153025
No one understands. I totally get you. And no, the feelings never really go away, sadly. I'm going to Vietnam this summer and will be at her house for two months, so I'm very excited.

What's your sister like? Did you two grow up together?

>>17153052
Were you deeply in love or was it mostly physical? Did she end it? How did it start? I'm happy for you that you can meet her. I don't know when I'll ever see my sister again.

Despite being twins and looking alike, we were very much so opposites personality wise. While I was more into art (photography), one of her greatest aspirations was to volunteer with Doctor without Borders. She inspired me to achieve bigger dreams.

We grew up apart as kids but lived together during middle school. From this time to high school our parents would go on trips often, so it was us alone at home often.

>>17153077
>Were you deeply in love or was it mostly physical? Did she end it? How did it start? I'm happy for you that you can meet her.

I am deeply in love with her. We have only met twice in our lives, so the Westermarck effect never developed. It started when I met her as a teenager and hadn't seen her in almost a decade. I spent time with her at her house and eventually we became madly in love with each other. And yeah, we're both attractive for our genders. I'm an attractive male, and she's objectively an attractive female.

We tend to be attracted to those who look similar to us, so I'm not surprised, honestly. Again, im sorry that your sister is nowhere to be found. Is there any way you can contact her? Any reason why she'd leave aside from the pregnancy? As a sibling and lover, that sounds heartbreaking to hear something so dear to you, simply gone.

How long has it been?

>>17153077
>>17153105
And it slowly ended because long distance relationships don't really work that well. We were much closer together in person than online.

>>17153105
Did anyone suspect anything? That sounds amazing, I hope things develop between you two again. It was the same for me and my sister. I guess, looking back, it seems quite narcissistic of us. We were both very conventionally attracted and so in some ways, I would inevitably compare other girls around me with my sister. That's also why I was so surprised to hear that she had been involved with her Professor. No idea. I wish I had some form of closure. We went different universities, but still visited each other often because we weren't too far apart. She didn't act or look too different; any other changes I just took it to being growing pains. Six years since she vanished.

Write a book.

>>17153140
Not really, no. However, there was a point where I just couldn't hold it anymore and told my mom. My cousin's on my dad side of the family, so I told my mom not to tell my father. She was really supportive and kept it a secret thankfully.

When I came back to America, though, I found it extremely difficult to even want to date other girls, because there was no one like my cousin. I have no problems garnering female attention, but I loved and still love my cousin. Seeing my cousin with her male friends on Facebook photos made me incredibly jealous, and I hated myself for being so ridiculous. I don't know, it's such a bittersweet feeling that always lingers around.

Six years. Jeez... Do your parents have contact with her? Also, I truly empathize with you, my Asian brother from another mother with incestuous tendencies.

>>17153140
>>17153140
Also, how did you find out she was pregnant? Is the professor non-Asian?


Also, what type of Asian are you? Princeton or Harvard? (I attended the former).

>>17153161
I laughed at that. No one does; I was the closest person in the family to my sister. The most painful part was when they thought I was helping her hide this secret. We only found out about her pregnancy because she left a letter behind.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever looks me up online. She knows where to find me. That's the hardest part. She knows I'm exactly where I've always been, but she hasn't reached out.

>ITT: 2 chinks talking about incest

Damn, Asians just don't give a fuck, do they?

>>17153171
Not sure as she never identified him by name...after her disappearance I didn't find any resigning professors or any academics that left the school. It boggles my mind to think that her kid is six years old now.

I went to Yale.

>>17153182
Is this more common among Asians? I have no idea.

>>17153174
How's your mental health, man? I'm currently depressed, so I don't exactly have the best advice for you. The truth is, you'll always feel like you're missing something. How are your experiences with other females?

>>17153189
Asian males are so unattractive that they have to rely on inbreeding or other undesirable asian women to fuck them.

>>17153187
>Yale
Yale is fail. Everyone knows that Harvard and Yale are just backup schools for the tiger.

Jokes aside, how have you been lately? Has her disappearance affected you that much, or is it something that recently came into your mind?

>>17153193
I wouldn't describe myself as depressed, but more withdrawn. My friends have described me as being colder since the incident. Yeah, I feel quite empty. My literal other half is missing. I feel fragmented.

I have had a lot of girls interested in me since college and now that I'm working, lots of the model type since I work as a Photographer for fashion magazines and such. They always want more of something I can't offer...affection? Emotion? I haven't been able to hold a relationship longer than 3 months at a time.

You?

>>17153194
Anon, I can assure you that objectively speaking, I'm fairly attractive, have broad shoulders, a deep voice, average height, dress well, and am decently intelligent. So many white girls to choose from, but it was ultimately my cousin who I fell in love with.

Look up the Westermarck effect.

>>17153202
That does sound like mild depression, but I'm not sure. Try scheduling an appointment with a psychologist and tell him or her everything, even if it's as taboo as incest. You shouldn't let this eat you up and leave you a husk of your former self. It's not healthy.

I'm depressed due to other reasons. I'm an attractive male but suffer from gender dysphoria. Life is too fucking funny sometimes, man.

Also, your job sounds tight as hell. I studied Computer Science back at Princeton and make quite a bit here in Seattle. Good shit.

>>17153194
Did you have any advice for me? Or not?
>>17153200
Oh man, did you have tiger parents? It's always been in the back of my mind, but our 26th birthday just passed and I realized: I can't wait stay like this forever. I can function, yes, but I want to function emotionally. I don't want to bring my parents even more sadness.

I'm glad you fell in love with your cousin. White girls who make children with Asian men are a disgrace.

sincerely, a white girl

>>17153225
Yeah, I think just about every Asian does t b h. I was referring to the Princeton Tigers, though. Haha.

>>17153227
Not a problem at all, anon.

t. Cousinfucker who's not into white women whatsoever

>>17153223
Thanks for the advice anon. You've been a real friend, I haven't been able to talk like this with anyone for nearly sixteen years.

Are you going to therapy? Thinking of transitioning?

Sounds glamorous but everyone in the industry acts like they're permanently eighteen year olds and there's too much drama. I lived in Seattle. I loved the vibe of the area.

>>17153227
A white girl on 4chan is a great indication of an obsession with asian culture.

>>17153243
maybe if you browse the anime boards but this site was made by a white boi

>>17153243
Likewise. It sucks that no one really understands it, but I'm glad I was about to find someone like me here.

I thought about it, I really did. Wanted to be a girl since I was 8, and took hormones for two months. But then I stopped. I realized that I'm screwed no matter what. And it basically boils down to this:

I live as an attractive man who suffers from gender dysphoria.

Or

I transition and become an unpassing transwomen.

I have feminine features, particularly the face, but my shoulders are simply way too wide. Even then, living life as a transwoman is brutal. An eternal struggle I have to endure.

I'm 24 now and plan on committing suicide on my 30th birthday. I have accepted my fate.

>>17153261
Anon, is it about being conventionally attractive? We're living in a society that continues to become more and more progressive each day. You live in Seattle, which is quite a liberal area. I'm sure if you saved up, paying for surgical procedures to look more 'passing' won't be too difficult. Makeup and clothes does a lot of wonders as well.

From my conversation with you today, you seem like a great human being. I would hate to see the would rid of a person with as much empathy as you. I don't know, all I'm saying is that if you had left the world a little earlier, I may have not been able to get this burden off my shoulders as you have helped me today. Sorry if I've offended you in anyway.

>>17153288
>Sorry if I've offended you in anyway.
No, not at all.

Although I live in a liberal city such as Seattle, I do value the importance of my own aesthetics. As much as I'd love to exchange my attractive male body for an equally attractive female body, it's simply not feasible. Deep down, I truly want to transition and pass well (as many trans people do), but I would be sacrificing way too many things, including my family as well as my appearance that has gotten me many dates, good first impressions, and many other things. Looks do matter to me, and I don't want to squander what I have by transitioning. If I could have transitioned before puberty, then perhaps it would have been a no-brainer, but I'm an adult male now.

I'm glad I was able to help you out. You seem like a genuine person as well. I hope you're able to reconnect with your sister and clear things up with her.

>>17153314
Thanks anon.

I can understand and respect that. We live in a shallow society after all.

I hope meeting your cousin will perhaps change your mind. I feel a little less lonely knowing there's someone like you in the world, and that I was able to share this secret with you.

Thank you.

Get a life and stop pretending to be two different chinks, samefag