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Anyone sucessfully avoid child support?

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Thread replies: 61
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Me and my girlfriend have 2 kids 8 and 12. Been together for 10 years. Long story short, I found out the kids aren't mine. She doesn't know I know. I plan on telling her and leaving or just ghosting. My problem is that I'm on the birth certificates and I don't wanna pay child support. What should I do?
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Maury
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I don't think you can just walk away legally. Bumping for op.
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>>17150046
Depends on the legal system where you live. If you're on the birth certificate without contesting it, a lot of places will consider that an acceptance of legal responsibility whether or not you're the biological father. Similarly, if you have accepted and acted in the role of the father.

It's pretty fucked up that if you've been acting as these kids father that you would just abandon them. Do you not care about them at all?

I'm kind of curious how you figured you might be the father of the 12 year old if you've only been with her for 10 years. Did she put you on the birth certificate a couple years after the birth? Are you just incredibly stupid or something?
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>>17150053
Maury
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depends on where you live, op. in some states, you have a statute of limitations to be able to contest the birth certificate. for example, i know previously in the state of texas you could no longer contest paternity once you were on the birth certificate for 2+ years. it's been a while since i've looked into it personally, but i would suggest starting with state/local resources. you may have to pay for a paternity test yourself but would be worth the cost to have support waived. being that it's been so long, however, be prepared that some states/courts may tell you to basically suck it up buttercup. good luck op.
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I was living with her for 10 years. We were together longer then that. Sorry about that I'm not thinking straight right now.
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>>17150046
Really? You've been the father figure for two kids, for 12 and 8 years, and then you just want to walk out? Don't you love them in the slightest?
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>>17150057
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>>17150077
I do. But when I look in their eyes, I wanna tell them I love them but at the same time I wanna vomit because of the situation.
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>>17150086
meh. give it a couple months. you're obviously in an emotionally compromised state right now. you'll accept your situation eventually.
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My dad avoided it by being unemployed, in prison, and, eventually, by dying before I ever got to meet him.

I'd say get a DNA test. Not your responsibility.
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If I leave the state will they still find me and make me pay? How do they usually track people who avoid child support?
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>>17150091
Probably. They'll track you mostly based on your name and SSN. You could always get a fake identity or live off the grid though that's pretty difficult to do.
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>>17150046
so you're going to abandon her and more importantly the kids you've been raising for 8 and 12 years just because you found out your dick didn't make them?
you've been together for 10 years but her having a 12 year old didn't tip you off?

Grow some balls and raise them until the end you pussy ass faggot.
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>>17150046
Go to an attorney, explain your situation, and let him figure it out. These guys are literally paid to do exactly this
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>>17150083
Maury!?
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>>17150046
>Long story short, I found out the kids aren't mine
To what degree of certainty? I kind of want the story now.
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>>17150086
It's their mother's fault, not theirs.
Take some time, eventually talk to a therapist about it, but don't do something that will crush them and ruin their lives.
I'm not saying you should stay with their mother, but don't let her shitty behaviour ruin their life.
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Consult a lawyer about it
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>>17150116
We lived together 10 years but dated longer. Which is why I thought the kid was mine.
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>>17150161
have you had a dna test yet to confirm it? you might be surprised.
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>>17150143
This
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>>17150143
I have to either stay with her or ghost. I make almost 3x as much as her so she'll probably go for child support.
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>>17150180
Do you think that you can help them to get a decent life?
Is she reasonable enough to let you see the kids, and, maybe, support them for things like school and stuff like that while she provides for the rest?

I know they're not biologically your kids and you're not obligated to do shit, but I think that I'd do it for someone I've been taking care of for 10 years. I do understand how you feel now, but they have no fault in this and shouldn't live a shitty life for their mother's choices.
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>>17150137
Any1 still want the story? It's nothing crazy honestly.
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How about making her the following offer:
>"If you don't collect child support then I won't reveal to all your friends and family that you are a liar and a cheater. We just have a clean break up, we tell everyone who asks that it didn't work out between us and you don't touch my money. It's the only deal where everybody wins in this fucked up situation. Do you accept?"
It doesn't have 0% chance of working so perhaps it's worth a shot.
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It's easy. You need to make the third kiddo. And for fuck's sake don't tell them until they are 18, and I mean all three of 'em.
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>>17150191
I thought she was loyal but I wrong. I thought I she was the most honest girl I met, but I was wrong. I honestly don't know if she would let me see them. I probably don't really know anything about her.
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>>17150192
yeah tell us how it happened. Im curious
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>>17150192
tell it
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>>17150205
and then she presses charges for blackmail and you owe her even more money. She doesn't even have to collect child support, the courts will do it for her.
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>>17150205
Her friends probably know.. I know her family wouldn't care. I'm probably just meal ticket that she trapped
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>>17150232
It doesn't really matter if the court automatically collects the money. OP just has to adjust the offer by asking that she automatically hands back the collected money and for as long as she does he won't open his mouth about the real reason for the break up. OP would be doing her a favor by not speaking honestly to everyone about the current situation. It's up to her to decide if she wants to buy that favor.
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>>17150249
Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that, friend.
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>>17150221
If the courts are going to assign you financial responsibility because you've accepted and have been acting as a parent, the courts would also give you parental/custodial rights as a father.

In the USA, this is something of a crap shoot because fathers are routinely shit on when it comes to custody and visitation decisions, but it's unlikely that you would be denied any visitation.

Because your girlfriend has turned out to be a lying whore, when you're ready to confront her on this, record the conversation. This could be legally problematic in two party/all party consent recording states, but you'll have it as backup in case she starts making threats, especially threats about accusing you of physical or sexual abuse. You are absolutely correct, you cannot trust your girlfriend.

Before confronting her, you might also want to hire a private investigator to check out what she's doing when you're at work. If she's carrying on an ongoing affair or doing some fucked up shit, any ammunition that you can use to demonstrate that she's fucked up can help you in case she makes false accusations or tries to prevent you from seeing the kids.
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>>17150077
>>17150089
these posters are female
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>>17150269
This, OP. Sucks, but this.
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OP elaborate on how you know they're not yours.

Did you catch her cheating or something? Because even if you did they might (un?)fortunately still be yours.

Do a DNA.
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>>17150270

they sure are.

For those (female) posters: Finding out the kids you are rising arent really yours is one of the biggest fears of any guy. It hands down beats finding out you have cancer or your SO is cheating on you with your dad and they are laughing at you behind your back.
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>>17150290
I understand it and I don't expect it to be easy to handle, but I don't think that kids, who have any fault if not being sons of a cheating whore, have to pay the consequences of this.
If someone spends 10+ years taking care of me, and is my father, even if not biologically, I do hope he loves me enough to provide for me, beside the relationship we have.
That's really it.
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If OP is going to follow the following post >>17150269 about hiring a private investigator then I recommend installing a keylogger on any and all computer device used by the girlfriend. Accessing and copying all her emails could prove beneficial. It wouldn't have legal weight but OP would have a clearer picture of what else is going on in this relationship, if anything at all.
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>>17150146
only good advice so far.
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Known her since high school we were both quiet with random interests and shit. Weren't really friends. After I graduated I bumped into her at a mall and asked for her number since I'd probably never see her again and had nothing to lose. Started dating a year later.
Fast forward now. Around 8 months ago I found the manosphere and the redpill. Began my self-improvement. Reading for knowledge, working out stocism all that jazz. Fucking loved it.
They also have red flags and other you should watch out for. I didn't believe but I had sinking feeling because she hit a lot of check marks meaning she was probably cheating.

Coworkers she was to close to started bothering me and I told her. A few days after an agrument I used dna kits and I found out. I might try to get an offical one done but idk.

Sorry its badly written but right now I want to get in a bad car crash just turn my brain off.
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>>17150299
They shouldn't, but at the same time, the "father" in this situation should have no responsibility. Maybe even he should be payed damages. Families of children switched at birth gets millions in damages, and they still get to see children that are actually their's.
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>>17150323
talk to a lawyer and see how can you get lost without consequences.
Bitches like her deserve the worst things.
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>>17150323
>manosphere and the redpill
lol

A home paternity test isn't legally valid. You'll need to do a proper one under professional supervision.
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>>17150328
Most of the articles I read say I still gotta pay. I think its unfortunate but I'm gonna just ghost everyone and leave a note.
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>>17150327
>the "father" in this situation should have no responsibility.
I do agree on this. It's not his fault in any way and I think he should be paid damages.
But in my opinion his crushed feelings are not the most important thing right now, since there are kids involved.
These children are going to feel rejected by one of the two people they love more on earth. They're going to feel worthless, hated, for something they have no responsibility of. They're going to hate their mother, miss their "father" and be mad at him for leaving. They're not going to understand where they belong.
I'm not saying the mother isn't a bitch, or that she doesn't deserve to go through the worst shit you can possibly imagine. I can't imagine doing this to someone I love, respect, care for or whatever.
But I don't think kids should face the consequences of their mother's actions.
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I understand that people in this thread don't want the kids to pay for the mother's actions. However I think the OP ought to be morally free to walk out if he desires. The OP is not performing an action that hurts the kids. He is withdrawing support. It is a serious difference. People ought to be free to withdraw support at any time. This goes both way. If a woman in a relationship suffered from marital violence then I would never argue that she cannot divorce because it would hurt the kids. I would argue that she is free to avoid personal harm even if it hurts the kids. For the sake of remaining impartial I think the OP is also free to avoid harm even if it hurts the kids. Arguing in favor of mandatory self-sacrifice in relationships is never a good idea. The OP could choose to remove all support toward his kids (monetary and emotionally) or to only partially remove support and stay partially interested in the kids, it matters little. He is the one who decides how much supports he gives and his happiness does matter. He is not trapped. Regardless of his decision, the only person responsible for causing harm is the girlfriend.
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>>17150361
it's funny, everyone assumes he's a bad person for thinking about walking out and how he should devote his life to raising kids who aren't his (assuming OP isn't lying, I strongly think this is a ruse after he said that redpill shit).

But if not, it just shows what society thinks about men. Makes me think about social model that talks about men being assumed as actors and women assumed as acted upon and the benefits of each. A cheating woman is just a victim of her circumstances and it's immoral to leave her, but a man is a cog that shouldn't be allowed to leave a bad situation because others depend on him. Kinda fucked up.
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>>17150577
I read the red flag stuff from the redpill. The info was really redpill specific. It was just stuff I should have looked out for, but I didn't know and I truly loved "my family" more than anything.
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>>17150607
I mean it WASN'T really redpill specific, I just never read relationship stuff until then.
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>>17150358

that being said, if the father wants to ghost them, he obviously didnt care that much to begin with and was happy to find an exit.
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>>17150622
I do. My dad told me never tell let my emotions get in the way of rational thing to do.
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>>17150622
I mean I do love them. BUT My dad told me never let my emotions get in the way of rational thing to do, which right now to to leave.
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>>17150636
>I mean I do love them.

Yeah right. The rational thing isn't to fuck over these kids THAT YOU HAVE BEEN RAISING AS YOUR OWN because you're angry at the mother.

What losers like >>17150361 >>17150577 don't seem to understand is that no one is saying that you shouldn't remove your cheating whore of a girlfriend from your life to as great an extent as possible, but that it's wrong to shit all over kids who you supposedly love and took the responsibility for raising.

The kids have done nothing wrong and very likely aren't emotionally equipped to process the sudden disappearance of a person who has been a parent to them all their lives.

What you're going to be doing is creating some very angry, resentful, fucked up children. That is not to their or your benefit. You're also thinking about very deliberately breaking the law to avoid payment of child support, which you KNOW is going to come back and fuck you hard if and when you get caught. You're going to be limiting your life even if you don't get caught.

Yeah, rational.

If I was raising kids and I discovered that my partner was a piece of shit, my reaction wouldn't be to completely bail, it would be to minimize the influence that that piece of shit has on the kids. Gaining custody also has the benefit of reducing child support payments so that I could be more certain that the money that's supposed to be going to the kids doesn't end up going to some cheating whore.
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>>17150046
get paternity test results for legal purposes
they may try to make you pay anyway though depending on where you live
still be there for the kids from time to time though. they see you as their dad and it would probably fuck them up if you just disappeared. that being said, spend absolutely no money on that whole process. i hope your "gf" gets whats coming to her. this shit is one of the worst things you could have happen to you.
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>>17150046
>I found out the kids aren't mine
How? heard something? DNA test?
You will need something concrete to prove to the courts, you will also need to explain to your wife that you know and to your kids that you will be leaving them on their own to be raised by their mother who fucked another guy who wont be around.

Don't let the kids be like niggers whose dads just leave, they see you as their dad, at least give them an explanation.
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>>17150708
You are literally a total cuck. SWEDEN YES.
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Did she get pregnant early on?
Thread posts: 61
Thread images: 5


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