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How do I get over the fear that I'll never amount to the

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How do I get over the fear that I'll never amount to the past lovers my gf has had? She's been in 2 serious relationships before me. I've had a couple also, but I still feel like I'm growing an insecure virgin mentality when I feel like I'll never be better than her exes.
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>>17113922
You don't want to be like her exes dude, because she isn't with them anymore.

It didn't work out with them and if you were exactly the same it wouldn't work out with you either. Be who you are and you have a shot at making this last where they couldn't.
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>>17113935
But the issue lies mainly because her recent ex broke up with her. She loved him and is still working on trying not to be sad about it. I'm willing to be understanding an give her time to fully get over it but it also makes me feel insecure about it.
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>>17113942
God man makes me sick to read your post.
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>>17113969
+1
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>>17113969
;_;
She no longer has a desire to be with him. Its the fact that she got dumped by someone she cared about made her really sad. If she still wanted to be with him I would definitely leave her the second I found out.
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>>17113989
Are you kidding me? She's fucking lying to you.
Even if she isn't lying to you, she has the emotions of a four year old.
Actions buddy. Actions. Actions. never words
women use words to deceive you and themselves.
>>17113973
+2
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>>17113989
>She no longer has a desire to be with him

Sounds like she's patronizing you or just trying to be sensitive to your feelings. I personally wouldn't stay with her because it would drive me insane after a while, but that's just me. I can't stand being with girls that are damaged, because I don't know how to fix them.

If she isn't very talkative about her feelings, then I would give her time or just assume that she is a lost cause.

>inb4 you're an asshole
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>>17113989

This. Part of establishing self worth and thus appearing more valuable in the eyes of others is having zero tolerance for being second choice in someones life. Somewhere out there has you as their first choice.
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>>17113922

Who are you and why are we on opposite ends of the same problem?
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>>17113989
What makes me so sick is the fact you don't realize this:
that if she is still sad about an ex, while YOU'RE RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HER,
it means she does not appreciate you at all.
She should be happy she has you, but she is not happy that she has you, so she can fuck off.
Why do you do this to yourself? are you really that desperate for a girlfriend?
So fuck her and fuck off m8
>>17114018
Fuck you.
>>17114016
What this m8 said
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>>17114026
She wants to be with me and says I make her happy. She always tells me that I help her work through it. Is she lying to me?
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>>17114109
Of course you help her work through it...you're the fucking rebound. She literally says it to your face...
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>>17113989
She misses him but is being nice to you about it
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>>17114122
You don't think she'll ever get over it?
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>>17114146
dude, if you want to be walked all over and be debased like this go ahead
whoopie, you have a fucking girlfriend
a girlfriend that is - in her mind - /settling/ for you since her ex left.
Have you no self-worth? Leave
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>>17114170
So because she got dumped and is with me now it means she's settling for me? Is it literally impossible for her to develop deep feelings for me?
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>>17114183
If she doesn't appreciate you now, she won't appreciate you in the long run.
when you got together, she shouldnt've been sad over anything, for you guys are together.
you aren't having much an emotional effect on her now, nothing will develop later.
Relationships are passions, and they are fleeting, and they dissolve. No passion in the beginning is definitely a sign of an unhealthy relationship - as someone said above, a rebound.
you'll just be the guy after the ex she's over
there's no point getting attached to such a bitch who doesn't see how valuable you really are
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>>17114183
It's called rebound man. It's not the fact that you're her next boyfriend after her last. It's that fact that in her mind now she's with you because she needed someone to work out forgetting about his ex, she's basically just with you for that. She said it and you accepted it and were okay with it so in her mind that's the reality and she will feel no guilt over it. In a sense she's lost some respect for her, it's not that you're in the friendzone, but you're in the rebound zone or something.

Think about it this way, in her mind she's with you to work out forgetting her ex. So what happens when she's 100% again? when she's completely over her ex? she's been using you as a crutch to get better, now she doesn't need a crutch..

Follow what I'm saying ? Indeed she could develop deep feelings for you and stuff, but it won't be the same you would be what she settled for.

So like other anons said I would leave that relationship or be aware of the status of it and slowly distance yourself make it into a friends with benefits thing.
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>>17114194
I never said I wasn't having an emotional effect towards her. It's not like she's emotionless towards me or makes me feel like she doesn't give a fuck about me. She always tells me she misses me an tells me stuff she likes about me. But yes I do still fear I won't be good enough.
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>>17114208
>I won't be good enough
two things man
1. it's just another girl among millions
2. you are good enough, just not at the right time for her. and she shouldn't even matter.
You have the value, you can get girls, you shouldn't get hung up over whether she really appreciates you or not because she doesn't, for she's just using you as the poster above said.
So maybe you aren't 'good enough' to her right now, but her standards are different and she's blind to the past:
>>17114016
>Somewhere out there has you as their first choice.
So go find them instead of tormenting over a whore who'll never see you
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>>17114205
Well her ex cheated then broke up with her. She says she knows now he was a shit person and cares about me a lot. Is it all bullshit?
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>>17114229
It's not that it's all bullshit. It's that you are being a tissue for her to dry her tears, of course you're going to like and care for their tissue it dried your tears, but then you likely throw it away.

It's not set in stone but by what you mentioned that's how it sounds like.
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>>17113922
be unique and just be patient
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>>17114247
So you're saying she's going to stop being sad about him then dump me?
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>>17114310
It's a possibility yes. That she stops being sad recovers her confidence gets bored and figures she can do better break up and go out to look for something better. By the way you said she explicitly told you that she misses him etc it sounds like that kind of person.

There is also the possibility that she considers you her savior and stays with you, but honestly I think is less likely simply by the fact that she told you she still misses him. It's fine if you noticed, it's fine if one of her friends told you, but her telling you sounds almost like friendzoning you, but while still being with you which is sort of what a rebound is.

It's your call obviously and no one knows the situation better than you but from my point of view it seems like 70% she dumps you once she feels bored and fully confident again vs 30% that she stays with you.
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