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Femanon here Been with my fiancé 10yrs I play csgo. A lot.

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Femanon here
Been with my fiancé 10yrs
I play csgo. A lot.
Guy chats me up in game. We start playing regularly. Fiancé blocks him. We talk it out and unblock him. He's just a video game friend. I play with both fiancé and guy, and all of us together. I get the steam app and guy and I start chatting daily. We flirt a bit and get along well, similar interests and what not. Fiancé and I have opposite schedules so I game without guy more than fiancé. A week ago guys wife gets ahold of his phone and starts drunk messaging me to go away and no games ever. Same night fiancé is pissed, saying I'm having an emotional affair and that guy only wants to meet and fuck, why else would he be interested in me? I haven't talked to guy in a week but I miss games and chats. In the end I will respect my fiancés feelings if it is to never talk to guy again. But I feel like I lost a friend. So am I an idiot for thinking this guy was a friend? Is fiancé overly territorial of me talking to another guy?
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>>17112597
Your fiance is saying that the only reason a guy would ever want to interact with you is because he wants to have sex with you. Not because you're funny, or you have something interesting to say. Even if the guy is miles away, in a relationship, and as a result has no possibility of actually fucking you, he's only talking to you because you've got a bagina and he wants benis in it
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Well, yeah. You even admitted you were flirting; the guy's fucking wife even picked up on this 'relationship' and told you to fuck off.

I'd say there were some boundaries that got crossed. And I wouldn't put all the blame on the guy either.
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>>17112617
>>17112597
anon put it in a good way. why is your fiancé not happy about people liking you as a friend? I think that's a very good argument.

I'd try to get in contact with the wife of your csgo friend, and explaining to her the situation, and that she shoudn't worry about anything.

and also bump for this lovely /adv/ question!
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So is that the general consensus of why a guy would talk to a girl in game and out. Like friendships between men and women aren't possible?
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You lose when you said you were flirting with him. Flirting is a real gray area some people don't care, but some won't stand for it. But when you are flirting with someone you talk to every day it really comes closer to an emotional affair.
At 10 years in you should really be more respectful of your own relationship, and your boyfriend should really be more secure. I suspect there are underlying problems here.
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Op
The opposite schedules between me and fiancé is defenetly the underlying problem. He works 12 hour days on the weekends and I have them off. I get extremely lonely and sad and have told him in multiple occasions over the past three years he has had this job. He recently agreed to get a new job but has strongly resisted until now.
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Op again
I also flirt with everyone. Coworkers, classmates, male and female alike. I'm pretty social and think that's what she said jokes are hilarious.
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>>17112597

I'm all for opposite relationship friendships and truly do think they can work.

That being said:

The fact that both YOUR significant other and HIS significant other are BOTH freaking out about this, that is a gigantic red flag towards this "friendship".

My best friend is a girl. Her and my girlfriend get along super well. If there were problems between them, then one of those two relationships just wouldn't work.

That's just how it is. Everyone has to be ok with it.

If it were 3 out of 4 people that were ok with it, maybe someone is being unreasonable; but even then... you can't really expect to change people--especially when it's your significant other--so that's not ideal. But you're at 2 out of 4 which makes his is a little bit futile, and a little bit suspect.
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>>17112597
you are now officially garbage tier
if you gave even a little bit of a fuck about your man this would never have progressed beyond playing a few games here and there. theres no reason for you to be in contact with this other guy, and yes, you are an idiot for thinking that he does not have ulterior motives. if you want to keep your fiance, i suggest you get your shit together asap. and hope hes nothing like me, because i would have thrown you out the second i realized you even had a thought about doing this shit
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>>17112670
>>17112674

I don't think you're wife material.
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>>17112597
Why the fuck don't you invest the same amount of time in your fiance? Why don't you chat with your fiance about the things you've chatted with the Internet guy? Why does you seek the things that should be between your relationship partner and you outside?

Just my two cents....
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Wasn't there a thread like this a couple weeks ago but from the husband's perspective?
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>>17112597
You're either naiive or are getting off on the flirting too much to want to lose it. I think you won't really know how far you're willing to take it until you meet this guy, and anything that stops it progressing to that point is going to seem unfair and bourne of jealousy.

Stop being a cunt, is my advice. You are not entitled to test the waters on an affair AND have all parties be okay with it.
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>>17112674
You're being quite disrespectful to your fiancée if you flirt with other people. Even if you thought it was innocent, the guy you were speaking to didn't, no matter how much he'll try to convince you otherwise. It's hurtful and demoralising to have to listen to your SO speak to someone in such a way. Even if your fiancée never hears you doing it, the fact that he knows it is bad enough.

If the tables were turned and he was "friends" with several females and constantly flirting, would it bother you? If you say yes, then you're a ditz for not knowing that you were hurting him. If you say no then you'd make a shitty wife.
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>>17113011
Yes
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>>17112597
Your boyfriend isn't stupid. He knows what other guys are like.

Remaining oblivious to this other guy's obvious attraction to you seems kind of pathological to me. Maybe you meant no harm, but is that really true? If this kept escalating, would you have stopped it? Be honest with yourself.

My advice would be to work on understanding yourself. What's behind your naivete? Why do you tolerate your boyfriend treating you like property and abusing you ("why else would he talk to you"). Are you struggling with self-esteem?
Are you crossing boundaries with online guy? How does that make you feel? How can you achieve the same thing in a healthy way, rather than through actions which may hurt your partner, or cause someone to disrespect their relationship with another woman?

Sorry to answer your question with so many other questions but I do think you need to think about what's behind this issue because you're obviously smart enough to recognize it as Something Important. But it's also a pretty big warning sign. Your boyfriend telling you who you can talk to isn't normal and it should be on you to remain faithful to him. That's not his job and you should set him straight on that.

And yeah, it's totally okay to feel like you lost a friend. Because you did.
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>>17112670
>my bf works hard to provide a good life for us
>this makes me lonely and I don't really appreciate what he does because I'm lonely
>I'm lonely so that makes it okay to get my intimate emotional connections from some other guy
>it's all his fault for ignoring me!

You sound REALLY immature.
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>>17112623
exactly. OP pretends she doesn't know what is going on and trying to pin it on her bf. The dudes wife knows somethings up too.

Oh, who the fuck is together for ten years and calls their partner a fiancee. Either you are going to marry or not, this isn't an engagement..
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Op here.
So I'm an idiot for thinking this guy was a friend. I've never had a male friend. I've never had an internet friend. I didn't know guys wife was uncomfortable. Fiancé has very territorial tendencies and has blocked other people who have tried to talk to me. I brushed off his sensitivity to a male friend thinking it was him being territorial. And I am a piece of shit for doing that.
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>>17113420
You're an idiot for not employing a bit of empathy and realising flirting with other men might be hurting to the man you've loved for 10 years.

As other anons have said, how far would you have comfortably taken it? If he had asked to meet, would you have done so? If during the meeting he held your hand, would you be comfortable? It's all flirting afterall, and you're fine with that, right?

You're not just an idiot, you're a flirt whore.
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No I would never have met the guy! I didn't want any escalation. I thought he was an online friend.
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Your fiance is right you dumb cunt. Are you actually this stupid?
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>>17112617
No, he's not saying it's the only reason a guy would want to interact with OP. OP obviously drew the guy's attention because he likes her. It's just now he wants to fuck her and OP's fiance needs to protect something he loves.
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>>17112597
bullshit, you literally just said you were flirting


and you're both on huge important relations and you KNOW you're flirting and now you're trying to deflect blame.

You're both disrespecting your couples, there's a difference between being friends and flirting
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>>17113448
You wouldn't have met him this time. And you seem to have an odd definition of flirting. You might find this enlightening, and relationship-saving.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
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When I say flirting I mean like that's what she said jokes. I say the same kinds of things to my coworkers, classmates and friends. we would mostly talk about games and food
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>>17113420

Don't get this wrong, your fiance might really be possessive as fuck and be in the wrong here, it's just that the fact that your online friend's WIFE is drunk texting you to stay the fuck away is a pretty clear indication that you're also probably crossing some boundaries.

Like I said, if 3/4 people are cool with it, maybe it's that 4th's persons problem.

But if half the people involved are taking issue, there's a problem no ifs, ands, or buts--regardless of how crazy possessive your fiance may or may not be (you being in the wrong, does not mean he's not wrong as well).
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OP is a slut that doesn't appreciate how hard her man is working FOR HER and you DID emotionally cheat on him while he was busting his ass off.
The other guy is doing the same shit, you both caused trouble to each other strong relationships.


You're both extremely selfish and the fact you're here trying to make us tell you "no your fiance is wrong it's totally ok you're giving other dude way more time than him and even FLIRT with the guy while hes working for you"

No other way around it
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>>17113497
No we know what you said.

You said flirting, not jokes, don't back off now OP.

Everyone knows what flirting is
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Hambeast you probably cockmunch all the time pathetic bitch lol one person other than your cuck pays you any attention and automatically you think they're to dtf

>its the internet get over yourself if you're not angelina jolie nobody wants to fuck you
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>>17113530

Woah! That's rude
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>>17113513
>Everyone knows what flirting is

Except you apparently, here you go:

flirt
flərt/Submit
verb
gerund or present participle: flirting
1.
behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
"it amused him to flirt with her"
synonyms: trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on
"it amused him to flirt with her"

>for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
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I don't want to be told it is or was ok. It wasn't ok. I know that. I'm not trying to get anyone on my side. I was asking if I had an online friend or not. I thought it was a friend. That article was helpful. Maybe men and women can't be friends. I hurt my fiancé because I brushed off his feelings thinking he was being too controlling. I'm a piece of shit for doing this.
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>>17113549

I personally don't think you're a piece of shit for what it's worth
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>>17113549
>I'm a piece of shit for doing this.
I think the article + the level to which you're being bombarded is really getting the point across at this point. Now go make your fiancée a sandwich, give him a bj and promise that he's the only guy for you. Stop leading other men on and be a loyal partner.

Otherwise know he deserves better.
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>>17113549
Yea feel bad dumbshit bet you thought your attention seeking ass was hot. Your bf is a loser

>no girls on the internet
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>>17113498
I haven't talked to guy since I found out it was a 2/4 situation. I thought it was 3/4 :(
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>>17113549
Yes you are, and if his OWN WIFE tells you there's something wrong then she probably had that talk with him before, not to mention it clearly says 2 people saw how fucked up it was.

You both might have done it "as friends" but deep down you obviously had some level of attraction and closeness to each other and no matter how much you deny it, flirting always carries some truth behind it.


There's nothing a man appreciates more than trust and a loyal woman, this guy has the right idea
>>17113562
Go to him, tell him how you understand now and be super nice to him
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>>17113586

Honestly, half the guys who are calling you trash or whatever the fuck have probably never been in a long term relationship (or maybe any relationship) in the first place and are speaking purely from a position of ignorance, inexperience, and... well... fantasy.

Here's the thing though...

You've been in this relationship for 10 years and are about to get married. At this point you should basically know enough about both of you to know what's going on. If he's possessive and controlling, at this point you should know that by now.

This whole thing isn't just some small thing. This is all signs of something much larger that NEEDS to be dealt with because getting married without dealing with the root problem will only ever result in things being worse.

You guys need to talk. Like have a serious discussion. Not just about this guy, about you having friends, about you feeling like he's possessive, about what he's comfortable with, about your insecurities (yes, you have them, you're letting a bunch of random 4chan lonely frogs brow beat you), about your disparate schedules, about so many things.
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You should kill yourself for even flirting. You are the worst type of ppl (aside from killers and rapists)
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Ew csgo
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Honestly OP, I think your little stint with internet guy and the positive attention he gave you and the fact that you still wish for him to be around kinda says more about the state of your relationship with your current fiance. You said he controls everything and blocks friends from you. This is a massive red flag, Your fiance should not be this controlling over you. Its no surprise you're looking for emotional affection elsewhere especially if he's cutting off people for you. You realise this behaviour is abusive? You need to get out of your current relationship and take some time for yourself. Yes you done fucked up but its obvious that you're craving some sort of attention elsewhere rather than your fiance.

If I were you OP I would drop your fiance so fast he sounds like an over controlling fuckhead. Fuck the other anons OP they can't see past the whole r9k mentality and they certainly can't see how unbelievably unnaturally controlling your fiance is. Don't cheat, Don't do that shit because that's fucking stupid.

Just leave.
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>>17114199
This is the logic of a cheater. Everyone bear witness
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>>17113647
>If someone thinks different than me, he's never had a relationship

This is why no one will take you seriously.
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>>17114202
Aha it is not, I stated in my post not to fucking cheat because its fucking stupid and shitty you dumb fuck. But you cannot say that her fiance taking the liberty of blocking people from speaking to her *not just internet guy from what OP said* is fucking normal? Not flirting with guys when you're in an established relationship? Most certainly you don't do that shit. However the control the fiance has is far past the point of being logical and rational.

Op sucks for flirting but I give her props for admitting how shitty it is and realising that, But her fiance seems to be the bigger issue.
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>>17114214
You do have a valid point there.
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>>17114214
Don't ever call me a dumb fuck and hurt my feelings ever again
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>>17114227
Sorry anon I was caught in a passionate moment.
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>>17114234
That's ok will you be my gf
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>>17112597
idk why people risk relationship for online friendships LOL no priorities go fuck your self
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>>17113231
ty
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my gf fucked another dude for her first time while I was off training at bootcamp. she pretty much let him in her flat and didn't resist as hard as she could have due to "muh lonliness".

there are barriers you should be wary of what is ok and what isn't before it gets taken too far and its hard to go back on it. dont let your own weakenss undo something that took a long time t build
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>>17112597
>So am I an idiot for thinking this guy was a friend?
Yes
>>17112617
You're a fucking retard. OP literally said she flirted with him. Yes, clearly the only reason they are talking is because both OP and the guy want to fuck one another.

You're a POS OP. It starts ok "oh we just talk" to "we just flirted a bit" to "well we talked about sex things" to "well they were just photos and not the real thing" and ends up full on affair.

You're lying to yourself if you say you talked to him "just as friends"
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>people still playing CS

you fucking scrubs think you're OG but you'll never be OG motherfuckers
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>>17112597
Anon, you guys need to stop classifying each other and yourselves ("idiot", "slut", "friend", "territorial") and focus on the facts:

- You and your fiance are engaged to be married
- You and your fiance do not see each other a lot due to opposite schedules
- As a result, you were able to fill a lack of intimacy and companionship with an online friend. This was intimacy and companionship that your fiance was unable to provide.

It doesn't matter whether or not your online friend ever had an intention to fuck you or if he only considers you a friend. The point is that your fiance (and that guy's wife) are probably hurt and embarrassed that they can't fill that need you have to laugh, being entertained, etc.

I hope that keeps you from resenting your fiance. I think you guys need to talk through it without resorting to assumptions about who wants to bang whom. Don't just not have guy friends because your fiance says not to. You both need to understand why this was such a problem. If you've been with your fiance for 10 years, it means you likely have a lot of love and trust for each other - but that can blindly let you guys overlook the need to stay intimate and attracted to one another.

I went through something similar before I got married (I'm a femanon). The point wasn't about whether or not there was any intention to cheat sexually (I was not attracted to this male friend in the least). But I hurt my fiance because someone else was able to make me laugh with inside jokes from work and compliment my work - all stuff that my fiance couldn't be a part of. So I got it. It's not that I don't have male friends now - I do. But my fiance knows who they are, and I share funny jokes that guys in online communities make that make me laugh. And my husband and I spend enough time together so that we don't grow apart (have been together for 16 years, still making each other laugh, having mind-blowing sexy times, etc.)
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>>17114365
>my gf fucked another dude for her first time while I was off training at bootcamp

Cuck. That should be your ex gf.
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>>17112597
Yes you were an idiot for thinking he was your friend.
Of course he wanted to fuck you. Are you joking? The only possible way it could be anything otherwise is if you're fat/ugly, hes isn't, and he's aware you are.
In other words, are you hideous? No? Then of course he was interested in banging you.

Women can have male acquaintances or even friends. As long as they don't hang out as often as you were with him. Otherwise jealousy is unavoidable.
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>>17112597
Flirting is iffy because it means different things to different people.

If the guy is a steam friend and lives nowhere near you I think that improves things a bit. How old are you?
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>>17112627
NOt always, but usually yes in online gaming.
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