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I have been having problems with my boyfriend sexually. Im not

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I have been having problems with my boyfriend sexually. Im not completely clueless as to why or what is happening but Id love if any of you could talk to me.
We started dating about 2 months ago and we had been friends for a really long time. Our relationship is really strong and we share everything with each other. Sexually I am a very active person and I have a huge libido where as he is slowly coming out of a depression thats lasted for years. He also was a virgin before we were together. So the main problem is that he loses his erection while he is inside me. I would like to think he is attracted to me a lot because just seeing me after a couple days gives him an erection and he loves me deeply. Because I have very low self esteem this problem is making me feel like shit even though I have so much 'evidence' showing that he does find me sexy and beautiful. At this point I really dont know what to do that doesnt involve me hurting myself. He did go to a urologist just in case it was physiological but the doctor confirmed it was psychological. Do you think he needs time or is our relationship doomed?
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>>17112140
why are you putting so much pressure on him?
humans are not perfect, they are humans. get a grip and put that mentality on the side. jesus you imature bitch, start to think indepentdently or let him lead.

anyway sounds like your friend faps too much.


btw, is this you in the pic?
>>
Condoms? Over masturbation? Nerves? There are a great number of reasons why this might be happening, and not many of the might include his thoughts on you. Does he take medication for depression?
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>>17112140
he's most likely not comfortable with you for some reason. you probably make him feel insecure or some shit. he doesn't know the reason or doesn't want to admit it. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some emotional feeling he had towards you that he hides and doesn't like but puts up with it.

It doesn't mean you're not an attractive person.
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>>17112150
i dont put pressure on him, i dont know why youre being so hostile. i tell him i dont care about sex and that im in love with him

>>17112151
we dont use condoms and hes not on medication. the only thing i can think about is that since he was a virgin hes only used to masturbating and not real sex. i dont know :(

>>17112165
do you think he might be frightened or insecure because i am very sexual? i think he also gets worked up because he doesnt think he can satisfy me. what kind of emotional feeling?
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>>17112140
Do you know that sex is just a part of relationship?

Maybe you can try to make him tell you what his fetish is.
Maybe you both just need practice.
Maybe you can try cock ring?
Maybe you can put him on no fap for a week.
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>>17112180
he stopped masturbating since hes been with me but i am wondering if its loweirng his libido. Could you explain how a cock ring works?
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>>17112188
Basically rubber circle you put on root of erected penis to prevent blood from drain out. Normaly only for older people.

You can even use the strap band girls uses to do pony tail with long hair. Just don't use too much force or dick will change color and fall off :-D

>stopped masturbating
You sure? Because I don't believe it much.
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>>17112177
I'm not being hostile, I'm telling the truth

you lie to us and him
>i tell him i dont care about sex
>Sexually I am a very active

stop being so mean and controlling, you fail at it.
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>>17112222
>>17112222
that poor guy
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>>17112222
cock rings sound seriously uncomfortable but ill ask him if hed like to give it a try.

i trust him a lot so if he says he has he has. a couple days ago we tried and he came pretty quickly. he apologized and said it was because he hadnt come in a while.

thank you btw for talking to me.
>>
>>17112229
i dont care about sex in the context of our relationship. it doesnt detract from the love i have for him whatsoever so even though it is a part of who i am, its something thats in the background. i dont see myself being mean or controlling, so i do hope i am failing at it.
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>>17112245
>i dont see myself being mean or controlling, so i do hope i am failing at it.

but somehow you are the one in charge of your guys penis problems?
Do you even have a penis?

Stop half assing his problems, because you are too afraid to look deeper into your self.
Might be right that you feel obliged to deal with this after all.
>>
Listen guyfag here
I've lost my boner more times than I can remember. It happens. The usual reason is stress. I found that exercise and eating well helped, helped to reduce my stress.

It was kinda psychological, I was so worried that I wouldn't please the girl, because i'm average down there, that I just lost my boner by overthinking.

Go easy on him, take it slow, depression also is a boner killer.
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>>17112754
i forgot to mention that he has insecurities about his size and shape.. that also might be affecting him. thanks a lot for the reply
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>>17112140
Anxiety causes him to lose his erection.
Nothing is doomed and everything will be fine just give him some time.

Meanwhile relax and stop taking it personally. This is coming from a femanon.
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>>17112912
yeah youre right, its added pressure to him seeing me doubt myself
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>>17112912
>>17112754
>>17112180
married femanon here, seconding all of this

maybe the next few times you guys have sex, don't focus on whether he's hard or not. just both of you focus on all the different ways you can make each other feel good. hard cocks and orgasms are great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes you just have to relax and enjoy the ride.

and in general, just spend some time in the near future relaxing together and talking to each other in an accepting way, listening without judgment and speaking with trust that the other will not judge. if you think you're doing that already, then concentrate on doing it even more. some issues may come up that you're not aware of consciously. if so, then work on them.

if you can't figure out the sex problem(s) but you are still committed to making the relationship work, see a couples counselor. they may be able to suss out some problem going on between you that is somehow getting under both your radars.

also
>tfw thom yorke will never photobomb your museum pics
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>>17112930
another male anon with a similar problem, seconding this. it sounds like you're very frustrated by how things are, and unfortunately whether you do it consciously or not, it's very easy for him to pick up on it and feel the need to "perform".

The only real solution in that case is to stop making a big deal about it and focus on enjoying yourself. Guys getting hard and being aroused doesn't exactly go hand in hand, if he's not hard it's not because he's lost interest or doesn't find you attractive.
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>>17112229
>dont care about sex
>care so much that you want to hurt yourself since he doesnt have a drive even though he loves you

yea, no you're a mean person thats trying to label as good
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>>17112140
is that thom yorke on the left there?
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>>17112140
I've spotted the one by her head, the one beside that one, the largest one, the one on the far right, the one in the bell tower, the one on the left behind the corner, the one in her purse and the words "the game" on the bottom left

am I missing anything
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>>17113788
there are two more in the painting, one seated at the table (center-right) and one standing behind the stone railing (left)
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>>17113821
ahhh yes i see them both, thank you
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What painting is that?
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>>17113749
Yes. Yes it is.
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>>17112930
>>17113646

To OP.

So this is going to take some work to overcome (pun intended). The most important thing is to de-stress having sex and realise failure begets even more failure - each time making the next time likely to be worse.

You need to reset and start again.

First you need to him comfortable with you liking and wanting his penis. Forget intercourse for now. Get him hard by hand or mouth and play with his dick. Get close to it and tell him how much you like it, how much you want it. Do this slowly and most importantly you have to mean it.

Move onto to giving him hand jobs and telling him how much you love playing with his dick. Be spontaneous and playful. This will build confidence that you really want his dick. Gradually work toward intercourse but do so without planning it. Make it happen spontaneously. If he thinks "now is the time to perform" he may fail again. He has to be in a state of mind that you love being fucked by him for no other reason than it's him fucking you.

I've had to use this technique to overcome sexual hang ups in girls and it takes a lot of patience and confidence in your ability to make them believe you really do love their pussy just how it is - because you really do. You have to do the same for him.
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>>17114121
/thread.

As someone who this is actually happened too, it's purely he's fucking nervous. Most likely just performance anxiety. Give it a few months and work on it. He just definitely needs to get comfortable with what's going on, there's alot of pressure involved on the male end of sex. Eg. Not cumming to fast, not cumming, is she happy with this, does she want to switch positions, what the fuck am I doing. Open communication in the bedroom is going to help immensely.
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>>17112930
>>17114121
>>17114151

thank you so much for the replies, i am definitely going to use the advice you guys gave me. we basically just need some more time :)
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>>17112150
Wow, what a dipshit.

OP you hit the nail on the head. He's probably desensitized his dick with death grip masturbation. He just needs to cut that shit out and get used to the feel of a vagina. You're a saint for not insisting on condoms.

Just keep being patient with him and maybe give him a few blow jobs if he can't stay hard.

Believe me, he feels like less of a man over this and probably shitty for making you feel less attractive.

Been where he is, but it's recoverable.
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>>17112140
I think it's the shoes you choose to wear.
>>
Like so many people have said, sex isn't all about the climax.
Are you sure he tells you everything? I mean he might want you to paint yourself grey and call him a cripple.
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 1


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