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How to fall head-over-heels in love?

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About to enter the 20th year of my life.
And still waiting to fall head-over-heel in love.
I hardly ever feel attraction to random strangers of people I talk them. I see that they are hot and I would love to have sex with them, but hardly ever on an emotional level. I am not gay.

Currently at university and studying a subject which has a large female student ratio.
Most male friends (and family) who visit me envy me for the amount of hot chicks walking around my faculty.
>What the hell is wrong with you, those chicks are all so hot.

Although I agree, I fail to feel any emotional attraction to them. I would think that with over 2000 girls in my direct vicinity, I would finally feel that 'love' people are hyping so much.

People always told me that when going out regularly, meeting new people, I would soon feel that feeling.
>Just give it time.
It looks so easy when others do it.
>Meet
>Talk
>Date
>Relationship

But I am tired of waiting. I meet new people (incl. girls) all the time, by virtue of being a social guy.
>But this is eating me up inside.
>>
>>17101152

>still waiting

here is your problem. you arent waiting. you are expecting. a watch pot never boils and all that jazz. you DO need to live life. you claim you are but this post indicates you are not.

its okay to talk to someone you only have a casual interest in and see if it gets stronger, but dont go around looking for love per se.
>>
As it seems to me, you might not form deep and meaningfull relationships with people in general, easily. It seems like you think that you can fall in love "at first sight". But what happens, when you do that, is that you "fall in love" with your idea of how someone is. That's pretty dangerous and misleading.
In your case, i can see two possible reasons you haven't fallen in love yet.
>the girls you have met all didn'tnfit your criterias. That's a legit possibility
>you don't get to know them good enough, so you ASSUME, they are not what you want/need

I lean towards option two
>>
>>17101169
There is a certain truth to this probably.
>A frustrated man makes an impatient man.

I do go through my daily life not thinking about it and don't 'scan' my environment for 'love'. It is just that statistically (and considering that I am member of multiple student organisations, etc.) I should meet a person I feel motivated to follow up on.
I love talking to people and getting to know them. But I have found it increasingly hard to find people I really want to get-to-know.

>>17101182
As said above, I love getting to know people and what makes them tick.
>What is your passion? I can listen to people and talk to people (and have done so in the past) for hours.

On that level I don't really have a problem.
It only feel that building that meeting people I find even mildly interesting is getting smaller.
>This is genuinely scaring me.

I do not suffer from any clinical mental illness. I am busy yes, but so are many others.
>>
>>17101226

sounds like you arent much of a dater, which is good imo cuz you will only date someone truly worth it. unfortunately it clashes with wanting to date.

your options are to wiat, or to settle.
>>
>>17101243

though by settle you can simply go on actual dates wiht a serise of at least seemingly nice women to see if something develops, not just agree to be with the first one that shows interest.
>>
>>17101152
I didn't fall head over heels for a girl until I was 21. It wasn't pretty because feelings weren't reciprocated. Be careful what you wish for.
>>
>>17101243
It is not really that I do not want to date. I'd really love to.

But I have always felt (not thought) that dating is / can be a very emotional investment. And I personally am not much of a gambler. I want to be sure in that moment that my investment might last. Not 'forever', just that it seems like a good idea at the time. But that hardly ever happens.
I have that terrible tendency to see the baggage people carry around very quickly. I am not claiming that I am better than anyone (holy crap I am not). It is just that this makes me back away fairly quickly.
>That are the emotions I want, emotions which make that go away and just make me do something 'stupid', be 'heartbroken', etc.
>>
>>17101267
>not reciprocal
Maybe you would like to share what you mean by that?
>>
>>17101273
She turned me down and I got really depressed.
>>
>>17101296
So essentially before the dating phase.
I feel that something akin to that, is necessary to grow as a person.
Nobody goes out of their way to make bad decisions, but one needs to make those experiences at some stage, i feel.
>>
bump?
>>
>>17101152
I have this problem too, except I'm not surrounded by girls all the time. It's also different in my case, because I used to fall in love easily. Then when I hit 23-24, all of a sudden I can no longer get feelings about girls, except sexually. I have met a few girls that I kind of liked recently, but it's nothing like how I felt about them years back. Honestly I believe I've simply become unwilling to give in to the whole idealized "girl of my dreams"-projection I tied onto girls I liked previously.
>>
feel you 100%

I never experienced love in my whole life, not even from my parents. I never said or received the words "I love you". I think I don't even understand the concept of love, atleast from what I have seen in movies/media

Don't have anything to contribute to this thread, just wanted you to know there are more of us fuckers in the same situation. 22 years old
>>
>>17102166
Did you experience a deep disappointment at that time? That can lead to giving your emotions more of a backseat.
I personally have never really felt that head-over-heals feeling as is, so i wouldn't be able to tell you.

>>17102269
Were your parents neglecting you as a child? Or did they fight often, this can lead to a form of distancing as well.
>>
>>17101152
>And still waiting to fall head-over-heel in love.

Lol, if you think this is a problem you really drank the kool-aid.

True love is free of clinging. Clingy, dependent love is just suffering.
>>
>>17101152
Plato's "world of ideals" is dangerously close to existing on the Internet. Plato's "world of forms" is where we live, though. IRL. Confusing the two is basically what lies at the source of every contemporary problem we have.

This is a super-nerdy way of affirming the idea that the love you are expecting exists only as a concept, and it is an absolute certainty that you will never meet the "man/woman of your dreams," because that's what it is: a dream.

This is not to say (please understand) that you will not fall in love. This is not to say that there aren't people out there (perhaps near you) with whom you could live a happy and fulfilling life. There are. Lots of them. Perhaps everyone. But if you fall in love with who you think someone is, then you will break when you finally meet them, after the facade cracks and you are faced with an actual person in your home.

So, OP, you are wise to not rush things, and wise to be patient. But the others here are correct: you should not expect to fall "head over heels" in love. Keep your feet on the ground and learn to love those around you. You'll have favorites, and you'll be with your most favorite the most, and if you're lucky, you'll be their favorite too. And that's one of the best things in life, ever, and a worthy thing to make happen.
Thread posts: 17
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