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somewhere over the rainbow

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I crave female attention. I know it's wrong. My longing manifests itself in bad ways. I spend lots of money on prostitutes. I just graduated college today, got $300 from friends and family, and the first thing I want to do is spend it on hookers. I am lonely.

I want to believe I can be the man I want to be. Strong, rich, a great father and husband. I want to believe I will find a woman one day who really loves me and I can share my life with. I want a happy marriage and family.

I guess I don't need advice, I need encouragement. I am a bit overweight. I am not the nicest person. I have a hard time opening up to people. I want to be loved.
>>
i suggest reading this:
http://www.oplysning.org/uploads/9/1/4/3/9143605/a_new_earth-eckhart_tolle.pdf

might help you with opening up to people. it helped me a ton to stop being such an asshole, which i was. being an asshole feels good until you realize you are dead inside.
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>>17098656
I have actually read that book before. It helped, but a lot of the concepts may have been lost on me.

I really want help not spending money on whores that don't care about em and finding a woman who will be my companion.
>>
this might sound like a dick question, but why do you want a woman that will care about you? (asking for real answer, if you'd like to try to give it)
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>>17098673
Having a wife/family is important to me. I grew up in a household with a mom and a dad, they're still married and they're the strongest people I know. Successful marriages have strong eocnomic benefits, and female companionship is a good thing when done with care and a good woman - which I admit are in short supply these days. I believe I can find someone who shares my values and vision, and I do not want to give up on that belief.
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>>17098645
I feel you comrade.
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>>17098673
Not OP, but romantic companions are just different.
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>>17098645
You will die alone
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>>17098645

I think you got some misconceptions about life.

if your life isn't worth sharing you wont find someone who wants to share it.

if your life is worth sharing, its already pretty good, and you wont be fixating so much on marriage the way you are now.

as for a 'family' i recommend you remove the notion that family is happiness. raising a family is more like say, going to war. there are happy moments. there are victories. there are losses. remember that one day you can wake up and find that your son has murdered someone. find that your daughter was born with down syndrome, or that one of them has died in a car accident. tehy can hate you. they can be annoying. they can just be the kind of kids you arent particularly fond of.

there is a LOT of fulfillment that can come from raising a family, even if its non stop horribleness. but fulfillment doesn't equal happiness. and fulfilment isn't guaranteed.

you have a life as it is right now, and shoudl focus on what you can control to make it as happy as possible. do that and when the time comes you'll be happy and stable enough to handle a wife or kids without the regrets that you fast forwarded through your personal life.

TL;DR A loving woman will not cure your desire for hookers, but curing your desire for hookers will make you ready to be loved by a woman.
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>>17099514
Technically, yes. Will I die unloved or without reaching my goals?

No.

>>17099524
Great points. I will keep that into consideration.
Thread posts: 10
Thread images: 1


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