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How'd I go about getting my Ex back

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 1

sup /adv/.

My girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with my yesterday (Thursday), rather harshly at that.
Two months ago she already wanted a relationship break, but I talked her out of it. But on Thursday she completely broke up, saying that nothing changed, like I never want to go out or anything (because University is stressing me hard the past few months). The point is, before Uni became so stressful we actually did quite a lot and even now we were doing things that are rather rare occurrences, like going on proms and stuff.

We also had a small talk 2 months ago about our sex life. She wasn't quite thrilled that my drive went down insanely due to stress. I told her I'd try to man up more, but I can't promise anything. I can't really control when I'm horny and when not. Though I never talked to her that I want her to be a bit more forceful as well. The only thing she did when she wanted sex was asking me if I want to have some "fun".

Well, now to the point: How would I go about to getting her back?
Most shit I find is people saying that I should simply stop communications for like 5 weeks. However, I know that she's a pretty unsteady girl. Would a communication stop really be advisable there? I'm constantly thinking that she might be waiting for a message from me while I'm waiting for a message of hers.

And there's no need to post stuff like "just give her up". I'm damn well aware that this might go nowhere and it's really the end. But I at least want to try getting her back.
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>>17092237
bump
>>
That's nice of you to be honest OP with what you want.

Here's the main issue: She broke up with you because right now you're boring and a downer. She wanted to break up with you more than two months ago, the fact that she was asking for a break was already the breaking point...she gave you two months and all you did was convince her nothing will change.

So basically she had 5+ months of being sick of you. Who is their right mind is going to willing go back to that?

That doesn't mean you're completely fucked, she still loved you at one point. But that does mean you're going to have to improve your image and play a little hard to get.

Improve yourself physically and mentally. Show that you're moving on with your life, meeting new people, be interesting again, make it seem like you are back to being the person she fell in love with. Mind you, don't just fake it, you need to BECOME IT, or else she'll just leave you again. Fix your problems in your life, make yourself look better than you were before she fell for you and she's going to want you back.

Anything less is hopeless.

Good luck.
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>>17092314

Sheesh sorry for the lack of proof reading, i am very shit at typing
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>>17092314
>Improve yourself physically and mentally. Show that you're moving on with your life, meeting new people, be interesting again, make it seem like you are back to being the person she fell in love with. Mind you, don't just fake it, you need to BECOME IT, or else she'll just leave you again. Fix your problems in your life, make yourself look better than you were before she fell for you and she's going to want you back.
Yeah, I know that. And the stress from Uni would be over literally next week, I would be able to do more stuff again then.
I don't have to force anything, because I WANT to do more stuff with her, like we did last summer. But I really didn't have the time because Uni's been so demanding during this finishing run.

My problem is mainly that I don't know how to initiate all that to her.
How do I get in touch again? As you already said, she gave me another two months which I couldn't change anything in, but now that I have the time to go back to my old self she denies me.

And thanks for answering.
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>>17092324

Unfortunately you can't go around waving a flag saying "SEE, IVE CHANGED!! SEE??" it just reeks of desperation.

You have to move on, she needs to feel like she cant just pick you up any second, she needs to feel like she might lose you to another woman

Starting dating people, start working out, build your own image...post stuff on facebook, dress nice and clean when around her, keep your chin up, get your game back.

It's the only way, whatever you're currently doing is not going to work.
>>
>>17092334
So the better way would be to really put up a communication stop and simply wait for her to address me again?

She did say she wanted to speak personally again about our relationships in 1 to 2 weeks. And that she isn't certain about her feelings towards me anymore.
When she phoned me to break up she also started to cry, but then she immediately ended the communication saying she'll give me time to digest this now.

Also we live pretty far apart. That one meeting would be the only way to see her.
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>>17092344

You dont have her on facebook, do dont share any sort of social media feed?

Not judging, personally i dont have facebook either.

At the very least give her a month to breath, then talk to her again once the air has settled more.

She might get a BF at this point, but there's really nothing you can do, preventing this would just make it worse.

Give her space, make her miss you.
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>>17092347
Well, she doesn't have anything besides whatsapp.

What you're saying does makes sense.

Thanks for taking your time, man.
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>>17092237
OP, I am in a similar situation. You need to go full no-contact for at least two months.

If you keep talking to her, she will never miss you, understand? If you want her back, she has to miss you before she'll come back. Do not contact her for AT LEAST 60 days.

In the interim, you need to get your shit together. If you actually want it to work youll have to make some changes to your life. Spend time doing stress-reducing exercises, meditation, and see a therapist ((WHO DOES COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY NOT ANOTHER KIND OF THERAPIST.))

When you feel secure in the changes youve made, its been over two months, and you've reduced your stress, read some self-help books (read Feeling Good by david burns), then you can re-initiate contact.
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>>17092382
What is she contacts me before the 60 days?
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>>17092386
tell her you dont want to talk

just like 'i dont want to talk'

or just don't reply, but id suggest you just tell her you dont want to talk.
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>>17092387
cont.
actually you could just reply kinda short to her, like polite but don't further the conversation. so address whatever she said and then leave it at that
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>>17092387
Alright, but what about that conversation she still wants to do?
When we broke up she said she needs some 1 to 2 weeks for a breather to sort her feelings and then she wants to meet physically to have a talk. And well, I kinda already agreed I'd have that talk with her when the time comes.
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>>17092396
when she hits you up just avoid it, tell her you dont want to talk
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1


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