how do I kill myself without my mother finding out?

Run away then kill yourself. Maybe at sea.

fly to china

>>17015113
>how do I kill myself without my mother finding out?

wait until she dies first

>>17015145
She's 53 and besides her obesity and PCOS, she's perfectly healthy. My grandparents from her side are in their 80s and still going strong.

She's going to at least think of you as missing at first, but later she'll know logically you're likely dead. How is that better?

>>17015204
I don't know. I just want to get out of this hell.

Maybe combine the two, just start a new life across the country.

Kill her first

>>17015224
But I'm in the southern end of the country. The northern end of the country is nothing but reindeer and wasteland that's covered with 4 feet of snow for 9 months of the year and 10 feet of mosquitoes for the other 3.

>>17015221
Have you considered building a life for yourself that is not hell?

>>17015592
That's like building dry water.

Life is suffering by default. A endless series of 7-day cycles going from monday to sunday indefinitely, selling half of your waking life to some corporation in order to continue remaining alive and being lonely and inadequate for the eight hours you actually have for yourself.