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Am I crazy for not wanting anal

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So my boyfriend wants to have anal sex.

I'm kind of annoyed right out of the gate. I'm 95% sure that if he hadn't been raised on porn it would never have occurred to him to want to stick his penis in my butthole as opposed to my pussy. My pussy is clean and silky and smooth and stretchy and fun for both of us. My butthole is dirty, tight, and uncomfortable. I LIKE having his cock in my vagina, and it's insulting that when I have this perfectly good vagina that we both enjoy for some reason he'd prefer to use my butt instead.

And yes, it hurts. I've let him finger me a lot, and just one finger isn't that bad, but anything more than that hurts, and his response is just "well, we need to try more of this or that" always something that will supposedly eventually allow his dick to fit in my ass, never considering that maybe he just should give it up.

One big thing for me is that I've looked at/watched anal porn, and my impression is that 99% of the time THIS IS THE FUCKING POINT. Apparently guys LIKE that anal sex is painful, demeaning, and degrading, which it TOTALLY FUCKING IS. There's no more reason I should be the one having something shoved up my ass repeatedly in this relationship than he should be.

I get that some chicks supposedly like anal. Good for them. Woopty fucking doo. I also believe 90% of them are lying and the other 10% get off on being treated like trash, which I don't. I don't like to be spat on, punched, slapped, or called rude names, and I don't like having anything stuck up my butt.
>>
So what do you want advice on?
You have an opinion.
You are in control of your body.
Tell him what you told us.

Super simple.
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>>17014762
The reasonable thing for him to do is to let you peg him first.
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I agree, anal sex definitely isn't for me. However, it might be something your boyfriend wants to try just because it's something new. It's always good to experience new things with your partner, even if it's not something you do again in the future.

There are ways you can make it less painful of course, like preparing yourself for the act and using a tonne of lube. However, it's always going to be uncomfortable because a dick simply isn't meant to go in there.

If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it. I don't really see what other advice you could be given, you seem pretty decided on it.
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>>17014762

You're perfectly entitled to be a boring missionary position girl.

Keep in mind he's also perfectly entitled to go find someone else that has an imagination and likes to experiment during sex.

You two should just break so that you can go find a guy as boring as you are and he can go find a fun girl.
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Just put your foot down. Say "I don't want to have anal sex, ever, with anyone, and I don't want you to push me for it anymore."

If he can't respect that, there's a pretty good chance you're seeing the early warning signs of a BAD relationship.
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>>17014780
I guess I do seem decided. I'm partly venting, like I said I feel like this is something totally bizarre that my boyfriend now has a thing for and expectations about due to porn. He doesn't say it's because of porn, but when I ask him what gave him the idea things just get really vague.

I guess I'm also trying to see if anyone has a dramatically different perspective on it or how they handled this issue when it came up for them. I've talked to at least one friend who just kind of gave up and let their boyfriend have anal sex with them and regretted it because it went exactly as they expected - it was painful, and afterward they felt used and degraded.
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>>17014782
If you had any idea how not-boring I am you'd probably jizz your pants, retard.
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>>17014771
If I found that at all rewarding I might consider it, but I'm kind of repulsed at the idea of my boyfriend getting fucked. I like him being manly and stuff.
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>>17014762
The demeaning / degrading aspect of sex is a huge dynamic between men and women. Are you sure you aren't just a prideful bitch who can't let go?
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My girlfriend who I loved when we were 13, I only fantasized about asking her this. I wish I had just done it, It's not demeaning, how can you explain your sexual interests? I just really wanted to fuck that 13 year old girl when I was 13, I LOVED her. I stalk her on FB sometimes, I literally felt I was going to kill myself when she posted "I'm getting out of [our state] to do what I love". Seriously, i cry when I look at her pics. She was the only girl I ever loved, I think about her at the peak of my orgasms, an when I'm not horny but just want to make love I think about her exclusively. My angel, she was. She's gone forever, i'd marry her even now that she's fatter, older, I don't care if we're both 80, love is love (and she's pretty anyway so...)

Just wft OP, just let the boy hit it. Your pussy must be nice but be kind to your boy
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wow op, you sound kind stuck up and passive aggressive.

why don't you just say no instead of hoping he'll give it up?
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If you really cared for him, you'd let him buttfuck you. It doesn't need to be a regular thing of course; just every once in awhile. Relationships are about give and take. You can't expect that every single thing you do together is fun for you. I'm sure he does things for you that he doesn't enjoy, but does it anyways.
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>>17014762
My boyfriend and I tried it. We used tons of lube and it practically destroyed my butthole for several days.

If my boyfriend asks, I just tell him "So you want my ass to swell up for several days and have me walking like a cowboy? So you want the possibility of Hepatitis? So you want me to have a bitch attitude from the pain for a while?" The aftermath of it made him realize that there is no pleasure in it for me (unless we stretch my asshole to the point where I either get pink sock or can't hold my poop in).

Just say no.

Like I'm cool with a little anal play, but sticking anything up there is a no-go for me.
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>>17014812
You sound....medicated, brah. If you are still dreaming about your 13 yro crush and it was more than a year ago, dude, grow up and move on.
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>>17014830
Did it hurt as you were doing it? Did you let him know, and was it his decision or yours to keep going anyway?
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>If you really cared for him, you'd let him buttfuck you.
i lol'ed.
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>>17014762
>implying girls don't like dominate guys
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>>17014830
>pink sock
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>>17014840
This was the only girl who I was a best friend before we dated. I've gotten with other girls but there's no love for them.

And not to derail the thread, I recall clearly fantasizing about buttfucking her because we don't have condoms, and a dream where we were in a house in the clouds, masturbating on separate beds to each other... Actually the second time I masturbated was to her (the 1st time was to porn, unfortunately, it's hard to quit)
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>>17014816
THIS
Girls don't like to make sacrifices
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You state that your pussy is 'stretchy' and your butthole is 'tight', yet you can't figure out why he wants anal? Do girls really think that all pussy is equal and great? As a man who has experienced multiple pussies, I can tell you that they are not all the same. Have you ever considered that yours is a bit more loose than he'd like or that is pleasurable for him. Inb4 I'm not a white so my pissy is tight. Anyone with a basic knowledge of anatomy knows that lots of sex doesn't equal a loose pussy and fewer partners doesn't equal a tight one the same way that lots of sex doesn't equal a big dick and fewer partners doesn't equal a small one. Quit thinking that you vagina is God's gift to your boyfriend and please him or leave him.
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>>17014816
>If you really cared for him, you'd let him buttfuck you.

I think this sounds pretty stupid. I know, for example, that he's not really into going shopping with me. So I ask him if he's cool with coming. Sometimes he says yes, sometimes he says no. When he comes, I appreciate it, when he doesn't, I let it go because it's no big deal.

I've never enjoyed seeing him in pain from sore feet while shopping. That would be fucking bizarre of me.
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>>17014876
that's a bad example, you can go shopping alone but he can't go and do anal by himself.

try something that he doesn't like, but also requires him. what about your kinks?
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>>17014762
>Apparently guys LIKE that anal sex is painful, demeaning, and degrading, which it TOTALLY FUCKING IS.
Congratulations lol you figured it out. Yeah, guys find it sexy to dominate you, and there's nothing more dominating than making you take our dicks in a way that hurts

>There's no more reason I should be the one having something shoved up my ass repeatedly in this relationship than he should be.

Of course there is, you're the girl and the bitch/submissive in the relationship, or at least you should be. Trust me you'll be happier when you give into that and allow your bf to be dominant and fuck your sexy little tight asshole. Anytime but in the last 80 years he would have just done it already whether you liked it or not and you'd have just had to deal.

I always make sure to fuck my girlfriends in the ass and it's amazing how it helps define the relationship. You can tell after that how they think and act more submissively. I've had them come back years later after having dated nice guys and let me do it to them again, because they like being made to feel that way.

It's so fucking hot to meet an old girlfriend with her new boyfriend...she'll look at me and then drop her eyes, because we're both thinking how my cock has been stuffed into her asshole.
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If you're 100% against it, you need to be clear that you're not willing to compromise. Otherwise, he'll keep pushing for it.

That said, anal is only painful at first, and an orgasm from anal sex is really intense and different. It's similar to a vaginal orgasm, but more intense. Oddly, it doesn't have the same lingering satisfaction. It's something I'd recommend trying once, but if you're not into it, you're not into it.
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>>17014907
>defining a relationship based on whether or not she's submitted to being sodomized

you just sound like a dick, honestly.
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>>17014830
You have hepatitis? Props to your man for still wanting to hit it raw
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>>17014931
Shit is that real? my ex said she was having an orgasm but I didn't believe it..
Mind-blown.
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>>17014762

Question OP: Do you suck his cock and swallow his splooge?
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>>17014762
f here...I think you just need to lighten up OP. Anal does hurt but if you do it right it's not harmful or dangerous, I guess it just turns me on making my bf happy. its hot to scream your lungs out while he does it
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>>17014816
While this has some truth to it, you can't compromise on everything your partner wants. Would you let your girlfriend fuck you in the ass or cuck you with another guy once in a while?
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>>17014984
I consider it my job to suck him and swallow his load, and I love my job.
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>>17014844
Insertion was painful, once it was in for a while, I got used to it. Then after, there was a constant discomfort/pain for several days.

>>17014970
No, hepatitis can be transferred from feces if by chance you eat meat infected with it. Shit particles carrying hepatitis get places from anal. And can transfer to my vag or into his urethra, and could give us both hep.
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>>17015003
how did you feel about it? Did you feel like you kind of compromised and betrayed yourself letting him do that, or was it just sort of the practical consideration that you blew out your pooper?
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>>17015010
Not really, because I wanted to try it too. It's not like he begged and eventually convinced me. A few days prior we were experimenting with light anal play which I enjoyed. I somewhat enjoyed the anal. I like the look of it to be honest. Like, bf having full view of my vag.

But, the after effects made me not want to do it again. My ass was swollen. I couldn't even poop, man. Sitting hurt. Had fucking lube seeping from my ass which felt disgusting. It's just not worth it.
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>>17015003
>>17015010


Hope you don't mind my asking, I'm trying to get my girlfriend to let me fuck her ass and I'm pretty sure she's going to try to just hang in there through the initial burn. I'm more worried that she'll secretly resent me and feel abused, even though she seems pretty open and willing right now.
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>>17014762
Did not read whole thread. I agree with you though. Anal is dirty, as in where your shit comes from. It is painful, awkward and uncomfortable. I tried once, and that was it for me.

I also can't help but wonder if straight men who like anal aren't actually gay. I mean it seems like a pretty gay turn on.
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>>17015017
Damn, well at least you have a pretty good attitude about it. Your boyfriend really can't ask for any more than that - you gave it a complete, honest try, and it turned out not to work for you.

He'll have to just live with the happy memory of that time he pumped your sexy ass, I guess.

Also are you still with him? If so I have a suggestion.
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>>17015018
To prevent this, I'd just say to be reassuring and make sure she wants to do it. Ask if she's alright a few times. Ask if she wants you to stop a few times. If she ever says to stop, abort dick immediately.

I'd assume she'd only feel resentment if you did not make her feel comfortable and in control.
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>>17014881
facts
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>>17015028
Yes, we are still together.
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>>17014762
>I'm 95% sure that if he hadn't been raised on porn it would never have occurred to him to want to stick his penis in my butthole
You're wrong.
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>>17015019
>I also can't help but wonder if straight men who like anal aren't actually gay. I mean it seems like a pretty gay turn on.


I'm pretty sure gay people only do anal because it's the only hole available to them aside from oral.

Asses are meant to be sexy instinctively, no matter the sexual orientation of the person.
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>>17015040
Just a thought then - like if he asks to do anal again.

"pretend" anal is like almost as hot as the real thing. You bend over and let him grind his cock between your ass cheeks or have vaginal sex, and you just talk to him like he's buttfucking you.

My girlfriend does that with me sometimes and it's pretty hot. Buttjobs have a lot in common with anal, the position, feeling those cushy ass cheeks squish under your hips...hnng. Having you talk to him about feeling his cock inside your asshole might be a pretty close second to actually fucking your ass.

Alternately, sometimes my girlfriend babytalks to me about why I can't stick it in her ass right now (it's too tight daddy, my asshole's too small, it would hurt me, please don't, etc) which again, hnnnggg.

All that to say there are creative, exciting alternatives to actual buttfucking.
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If my girlfriend had a dick I'd be happy to let her fuck me
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>>17015017
>I somewhat enjoyed the anal. I like the look of it to be honest.


Since you find it partially enjoyable, have you ever tried toying your way up to comfortable anal? Like with a plug kit?

Not suggesting you should - if the answer was "not worth it" I get that.
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>>17015017
>But, the after effects made me not want to do it again. My ass was swollen. I couldn't even poop, man. Sitting hurt. Had fucking lube seeping from my ass which felt disgusting. It's just not worth it.

I can only imagine what it's like for those poor little noobie pornstars who sign up for that first group anal session because they need that extra two grand for the rent.
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>>17014816
This. If OP wasn't so self-centered, this wouldn't be an issue.
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>>17014768
right—she's not asking/needing advice, she just wanted to go on a rant.
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>>17014762
you and your bf need to just brake up. your not sexualy compatible and well you sound like a bitch. you probably think head is degrading to but expect him to eat your loss slopy pussy all the time. your to selfish and bitchy to really have a relationship
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>>17014762
My second boyfriend started talking about anal the first time we had sex. He'd "joke" about it a lot. Clearly wanted it. He was a virgin before we started having sex, I wasn't, so I don't know where the idea started, but probably porn.

A couple months into our relationship we were having sex and he asked me if we could do it. I decided to let him try, and we both lubed up and he started pushing it in.

>Me (thinking - oooohkayyy, this is starting to hurt and it's not even in yet)
>Me a few seconds later (is he even pushing in the right place)
>Me a few seconds later (holy shit this hurts)

by the time he got his dick actually into my ass I had my face buried in the pillow and wasn't talking, was barely breathing it hurt so much. I had him stop for a minute and just hold still to see if it would hurt less. It didn't.

After a few minutes I let him try to start fucking me and it hurt so bad I asked him to stop.

He didn't.

10 minutes later I was a sobbing, bleeding mess, and he finally came and pulled out. I was so disgusted, hurt, and angry I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Obviously that was it for us, I only regret not charging him with rape.
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This isn't a subject I know much about, but surely its just about relaxing your muscles?

I mean I've had shits that were way thicker and longer than my dick, and I barely even noticed anything.

If it hurts you must just be doing it wrong.
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>>17014762

If you realized how gloriously sexy the female ass truly is, you wouldn't blame your boyfriend for wanting to cum in your butt.

You'd instead be wishing desperately that you had a cock so that you could do the same.
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>>17015167
>This isn't a subject I know much about


>you must just be doing it wrong

Fuckin' neato, kid.
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>>17015143
Hot! Tell more!
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>>17015143
Sounds like poor preparation
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>>17014999
>Would you let your girlfriend fuck you in the ass
Yes!! Just need to figure out how make her into a futa
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>>17015192
>Sounds like poor preparation

No shit, sherlock. Starting from the moment I let that asshole into my apartment.
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>>17014801
show us what you got then, bitch
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lol silly OP I like the way you post it's cute.

Just tell him no, you are not crazy for not wanting anal sex. Anal sex is a fetish a perversion that is developed over time. Just the way it looks or a female doing it to herself it's just different it kind of comes from being burned out by vanilla sex. Being sensitized to where your fetishes grow and you keep finding new content to get you off because you are burned out on the old.

Anal sex requires preparation and is mostly done in pornography or for the sole purpose as a fetish. As for me I wouldn't even try to get a girl to do it unless she mentioned it. I might throw it out there, but as you said it's just great to have vanilla sex and love the regular way.
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>>17015143
Is that you Katie? I never came back and got my guitar, do you still have it?
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>>17014762
Wow you sound like a great woman. I've never met one that I didn't think was a dumb bitch with no self respect.

If you don't want anal, don't do it. I respect you more than almost any woman I've ever met just for saying this on a internet message board. I'm a guy btw, and I generally treat women like shit but I respect what you just said.
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Do what you want but some women I've been with have had insane orgasms from anal.

It wasn't a pain thing, just intense sex that lead to "fuck me in the ass". It wasn't planned out or practiced. Just a nice surprise during wild fucking.
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I had this exGF turned fuck buddy who got engaged but kept coming back to me just for the anal sex she liked, but wouldn't let her fiancee do so he wouldn't think she was a slut. I kek'd hard when I saw her wedding pictures on FB—she's been married for almost a year now and we haven't met again but I know it's a matter of time.
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ITT idiots that:

a. think people engage in anal sex exclusively because of the dom/sub dynamic, and not because the anus is an erogenous zone

b. think the path to pleasurable anal sex is to go from your partner jabbing fingers in you straight to full-on fucking, maybe without even bothering to douche or adequately lube with a lube you know works for YOUR ass

YOU HAVE TO WORK UP TO IT ON YOUR OWN

buy a dildo and an enema kit, and then one day on the weekend, wash out your ass, get in the shower, and just play with a finger or two at first; anal takes working up to because it relies entirely on relaxation. if you're not accustomed to the sensation, it's just going to feel like painful taking-a-shit, especially if you've not worked up to a decent-sized penetration

YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE, IDIOTS
>>
>>17014875
>Anyone with a basic knowledge of anatomy knows that lots of sex doesn't equal a loose pussy and fewer partners doesn't equal a tight one
roastie detected
>>
>>17016081
>buy a dildo and an enema kit, and then one day on the weekend, wash out your ass, get in the shower, and just play with a finger or two at first; anal takes working up to because it relies entirely on relaxation. if you're not accustomed to the sensation, it's just going to feel like painful taking-a-shit, especially if you've not worked up to a decent-sized penetration

I think OP's issue is less about the technical aspects of anal penetration and is more a moral complaint that her boyfriend shouldn't be pressuring her to submit to being sodomized when it's altogether unappealing to her.
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>>17014809
and what the fuck exactly is unmanly about being on the receiving end?
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>>17016081
Jesus, you make it sound like surgery.

Just fuck. In the ass if mood permits.
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>>17016155
It's gay if you are a dude. Literally.
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>>17016155
everything?
The only way you could argue that it's not unmanly is by throwing out the concept of manliness altogether. Getting fucked is the complete antithesis of being manly.
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>>17014801
I like you femanon.
married anon here, never had any interest on trying anal sex with my wife, and like your bf I always watched porn.
>>
Step 1: buy BBC strap on.

Step2: tell boyfriend ( Yes dear anal OK. But first you give me that milkdud.)

Step 3: record it and post it on b.

No but rly yr not comfy with it that's that. You wouldn't ask him to take it in the rear. So why should you?
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>>17016159
explain to me how any sexual act done between a man and a women is homosexual

additionally explain to me how homosexuality itself is unmanly, shouldn't sex with two men be twice as manly as sex with one?

>>17016162
>its unmanly because its unmanly
that's not much of an argument anon
>>
I don't see the point of anal sex with a woman, there's no prostate to ram home. Might as well stick to the vagina, it's ribbed for male pleasure.
>>
Just plainly say no. Right now you're letting on that if he does this or that you might let him. Say no. It should be a non-issue afterwards.
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>>17014762

Does anal sex have to be as disgusting and humiliating as you make it out to be? I don't see any reason why it can't be as intimate, fun, and sexy as any other kind of non-vaginal sex. Just because you see it as degrading doesn't mean that's how he sees it.
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>>17016172
The getting fucked in the ass part is gay.

Two poofs equals half a Hudson
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>>17016196
If you do it right it is
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>>17016150
nah; what OP has been subjected to so far has been unappealing to her, but if she took the opportunity to try hitting a few non-traditional buttons on her own time, she might find that it's enjoyable

>>17016157
it's honestly not that simple; that attitude is exactly why so many girls get turned off of anal. it requires planning and practice if you want it to be a really good unique experience, and not just ow-this-hurts-get-this-out-of-me
>>
>>17016251
explain to me how any sexual act done between a man and a woman is homosexual
>>
I'm a dom so I really don't like being disrespected during sex, but I love anal. I thought I hated it because I wasn't doing it right at first, but once you get it down right, it's delightful. It heightens the pleasure so much.
>>
>>17014762
No, you're the normal sane one here and asking this question on 4chan was a horrible idea because you're going to get really skewed results.
>>
One thing you need to think about is why he would enjoy anal. Any good sexual dynamic is about trying to please your partner, so what is it about anal that would please him? You seemed to jump right to porn being the reason, but allow me to provide some alternatives that are true to me.

-The visual appeal. Anal in missionary allows you to fuck the ass and still see the pussy completely.
-The possibility of providing the girl new sensations, like the fullness of anal + fingering or toying her pussy, or anal orgasms
-The intimacy of her sharing a new and different sexual experience with you

My most recent ex suggested that we try anal, and though it wasn't a super fetish of mine or anything, I agreed and enjoyed it. The fact that she enjoyed giving that experience to me made it really hot to me. Also, just as another data point, it wasn't painful to her because we went slow and she was relaxed. There was no degradation aspect to it at all.

Ultimately, it can be a pleasurable experience for both people, and even if the physical sensation isn't amazing for you, the added intimacy might be worth it.
>>
>>17014762
Grab those ankles and learn to love it princess. Your ass isn't for sitting on
>>
They don't like it because it's painful.

Sounds like you're refusing it based on a misguided principle. It's like when girls think we do doggy because we think their face is ugly.
>>
>>17014762

It's your choice. You are in control of what happens to you. I'm sick and tired of women willingly getting abused by Chad, then complaining about it when he dumps her afterwards.

You don't want to get fucked in the ass? Then don't. Your boyfriend will just have to accept it. And yes, I do agree, porn seems to have changed how guys view sex. It's really made everything much more perverse and toxic, for guys and women.
>>
Leave him
hes a bad man
>>
>>17016172
Masculinity is equated with maleness. Maleness, on one of the most basic levels, is defined by having a penis. A penis is for penetrating.

Femininity is the opposite of masculinity. It is equated with femaleness. Femaleness is defined by having a vagina, which is meant to be penetrated.

The act of being penetrated is inherently feminine, which is the opposite of masculine. It's therefor "unmanly". Doesn't mean it's bad, it's just objectively not manly.
>>
>>17014762
Yeah OK whatever, but if your bf likes all that stuff then you're not sexually compatible.

Let him find a new gf that he completely clicks with.
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