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I'm extremely depressed and feel more anxiety now than I

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I'm extremely depressed and feel more anxiety now than I ever have in my life; I feel so nervous and alone right now even though I do have friends
the reason why is because tonight is the night in which I sleep alone, which I haven't for the passed seven months or so. Every night, my girlfriend slept with me, everything was perfect and we were so happy, I won't go over why she is gone, it isn't relevant, but I feel it is going to be an extremely rough night for me as to try to sleep, when I have already cried and felt loneliness to a point where I genuinely feel sick, headaches, dizzy, things like that, and it didn't hit me so bad until I really started thinking about it.
I'm typing too much, but I will explain at least why this affects me so much:
throughout my life I have been severely neglected, I have always went through an immense amount of emotional pain, being hated, abused, controlled in an abusive manner which made me more lonely, and destroyed mentally by those whom I thought loved me.
Eventually I found my latest girlfriend, who helped so much, made me happy, made me feel loved and cared for, and slept with me each day, and she was identical to me and so we loved this type of attention from each other.
Now she is gone, and I feel so fucking dead inside, I don't know how I am going to sleep properly, I hate the insomnia in which depression births.
I don't know what to do now, I feel so terrible.
>>
>>17014430
>everything was perfect and we were so happy
Evidently not
>>
>>17014435
She is dead. We didn't break up.
>>
>>17014487
And you couldn't save her.
>>
>>17014491
I didn't write that, that was someone else, I won't explain what happened, it's too complex. You can tell that that was not me because this is the first night I am not sleeping, and if it was to the fact that my girlfriend is dead, then sleep and my own depression and anxiety would be the least of my concerns considering it is the first day.
>>
Sorry to hear anon. Take a deep breath. Listen to some relaxing music and do a short workout.
>throughout my life I have been severely neglected, I have always went through an immense amount of emotional pain, being hated, abused, controlled in an abusive manner
Keep these thoughts out, the more you keep telling yourself this the worse it will make you feel. Calm down and tire yourself out then sleep.
See if you need therapy later.
>>
>>17014541
Thank you very much, I am going to try to fall asleep now again. I appreciate your words.
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