[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

I'm confused and ashamed.

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 28
Thread images: 2

File: twitching.gif (229KB, 500x382px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
twitching.gif
229KB, 500x382px
I had a gay experience when I was 15. I started hanging out with this guy who was 10 years older than me and he was uber gay. Guy even went drag. He had a lot of lesbian friends who were hot and thought I was cute, so I would go to parties at his house and fuck all these lesbians, but then sometimes he wanted to kiss me and shit and he was kind of aggressive about it so I would just give in. Then one time we went to a motel where he wanted to have sex and we almost did but I felt uncomfortable and just left. Nothing like that ever happened again since then, strictly pussy, but I can't shake the memory, no matter how hard I try and tuck it away. I feel so ashamed of it. I don't feel like a man. I'm deathly afraid of being gay, because I've built up my personality as a straight person, I only get aroused from females. I'm 22 now and I still have doubts about myself, about my character. If there ever comes a day that I realize that I am gay, I would slit my throat from ear to ear, because then the only dignity I could allow myself at that moment would be a beautiful death, to let my pain and denial the colour of crimson flow from my neck and stain my white sheets, like a heavy oil paint dripping down a blank canvas. But I tell myself I am not in denial, that I'm straight and that's the end of it. I wish I could find that guy, I want to kill him. I don't know what that would solve. I barely even know myself these days.
>>
>>16951439

You're kind of a moron, and you need to see a therapist.

/thread
>>
>>16951464
And how exactly am I a moron? Asshole.
>>
>>16951485
If you're really this much of a homophobe you should talk to someone professionally. Or at least one of your friends.

>self discovery at its finest

relax on the self hating because you had a gay experience. Plenty of people do - its normal.
>>
>>16951439
I had the same thing happen to me with an older gay man when I was 13.

He groomed me for years with weird loli shit and violent talk to keep me around, before he finally found a way to travel to fuck me.

See a therapist OP
>>
>>16951543
I really am this much of a homophobe. I can't even bring myself to see a therapist because of my homophobia.

>plenty of people do

Have you?
>>
>>16951574
Did you see a therapist? Did it work? Answers pls.
>>
>>16951439
The ONLY reason this impacts you is because that heterosexual image you have worked so long on is false.

Deny it all you want, but when you inevitably come out of the closet, even if you're in denial for a decade, you will remember my post.

Sorry.
>>
>>16951608
YOU'RE A FUCKING WHITE MALE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwywPGAZ43Q
>>
File: 1456377722898.gif (2MB, 318x239px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1456377722898.gif
2MB, 318x239px
>>16951595
yeah I've had a few encounters where if I continued, all signs would point to gay.

This is actually an internal struggle I'm going through right now. Can't bring myself to want to kiss a guys face, or cuddle with one, but to have sex with or whatever interests me mildly.

Either way, the next question is:

Do you like being homophobic? Do you actually hate gay people? if yes, why?

You are normal dude, and if you need someone to talk to or be by your side while you figure this one out - then you'll get my snapchat
>>
>>16951625
who dis try hard attn whore?
>>
>>16951439
it's not your fault op, you did something foolish but not something wrong

and it doesn't make you gay either, even if you think about it sometimes.
it can be hard to shake an experience like that

the other guy wasn't just gay, he was a borderline pedophile man; he was pressuring you into sex and all the people around him were OK with that because they had no morals
in most countries you would get added to the sex offenders register or put in jail for that

whether you want to get the cops involved or not is up to you, you might just want it to stay in the past

you did the right thing breaking contact with him, when you did he probably freaked out and went into hiding
>>
>>16951608
>tfw op ignores the one post that would result in one less faggot in the world

Toppest of keks, my friend.
>>
>>16951608
Meh, if anything I'm bisexual with a preference for women, I'm not denying my aptitude for it, I'm just afraid of having lived a lie for so long and just be 100 percent gay. I couldn't even really imagine what it'd be like to have a relationship with another guy, just seems so weird.
>>
>>16951627
No, I support same sex marriage, and I don't hate gay people. I just hate the man who had made me doubt myself for years. If I'm fucking gay so be it, but I have an innate desire to marry a woman and have children with her. I fantasize about it and the thought of it gives me a warm feeling. That can't just be a repression mechanism.
>>
>>16951651
Lol>>16951653
Reading that actually gave me some insight. I may just be bisexual who had a horrible first same-sex experience. I might come around to trying again once the wounds from this crap heals, but as of this moment, I'm not interested.
>>
>>16951667
don't listen to him OP, this guy clearly has some kind of gay agenda

you like women, you want to be with women, you're straight
after having sexual contact with another man it's normal to question that, but it's your preferences not your experiences that define you

plenty of men have same sex experiences and simply don't like them
some people go through phases of liking men/women, they might have been gay but that doesn't mean they always will be

I would encourage you to define your own sexuality, don't let what happened make you feel like you arn't in control
>>
>>16951672
I have an 8"x"6 and just want to cam.

;-)
>>
>>16951691
ok bby <3 my snapchat is PussyFucker69
>>
>>16951687
Thank you for those warm words friend. You might have saved my life.

>>16951608
Thanks for being based. I will remember your post, taught me something valuable.
>>
>>16951699
we all make it anon

lots of people have bad experiences of some kind or other, and though it takes time they do feel better about themselves
>>
>>16951699
My post was solely to make you face who you are.

Regardless of how you view it, it doesn't matter to anyone but you.

I want you to be happy, brother.
>>
I'm with you, OP. My first sexual experience was age 5-6 and he was 10. He sort of forced the issue but I remember enjoying it. Then I was so worried I'd go to hell for "being gay"

Whether that meant I began repressing my actual self from that point or if it was a normal experience in a heterosexual path, I'm not sure.

I would hope that sexual orientation is pretty easy to know but I could also see how it could turn into repression and trying to build a false image around what you think it means to be straight.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but thought I'd share.
>>
>>16951722
Well then I'm bisexual, but would prefer a woman.
>>
>>16951485

Called you a moron because you let a few experiences when you were younger dictate the rest of your life as well as your sexuality. As if when things happen, they are set in stone and no longer malleable or changeable, yet you seem to recognize the fact that you didn't like the homosexual experiences, and clearly enjoy the presence and bodies of women in a sexual light.

Unless you secretly want a dick in your mouth or ass, I don't think you have to worry about being gay. And not realizing all these things is why I called you dumb - more ignorance than a measure of your intelligence.
>>
>>16951717
Well this thread has helped out a bunch, can't lie it's painful, but I'm feeling more relieved now. I'm bisexual, and I prefer women. I'll keep reminding myself.
>>
>>16951687
thanks man I'm glad you think I have a gay agenda

I'm just saying theres nothing wrong with having a gay experience, and it shouldn't define his sexuality. Like you said, he needs to define it himself.

I don't think he shouldn't listen to me though, I've only offered him advice about self worth, or self discovery, and to not hate himself if he ends up finding out that he is sexually attracted to males in any way.

>>16951747
See what I'm saying man? You're in the clear - keep your head up
>>
>>16951745
Fuck a therapist, you based anons are all I need. Your wise words have opened my mind quite a bit. Thank you.
Thread posts: 28
Thread images: 2


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.