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My girlfriend of four years or so won't have sex with me

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My girlfriend of four years or so won't have sex with me anymore, she claims that I'm the most satisfying lover she has ever had and that it's her depression that's causing it but I don't know what to fucking do I'm as supportive and as nice as I can be regarding her depression the problem is that it's making me fantasize about my ex (whom would have sex with me very often) pretty regularly. It's been months now and she rejects all my advances. We are about to get a home together again so I can't just throw my hands up and say fuck it because that'll just ruin her life and I can't do that to her.
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>>16948981
Perhaps counseling is in order. Hurting someone for the sake of your own pleasure is a big no-no so make sure those thoughts stay as thoughts. She needs therapy and for you to stick with her through it. Hell, even offer to go to the therapy sessions with her.
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>>16948995
Oh yeah absolutely, I won't cheat on her, I never have and never will although she has cheated on me twice before.
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Major red flag. She's cheating on you.
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>>16948999

>she has cheated on me twice before

Break up. Do not move in together. Do not deepen your commitment to this woman when NOTHING is going well in the present and you can't really trust her in the future.

The only reason to stay with someone after they cheat on you is if you're raising children together, and the relationship isn't really all about romance anymore. Otherwise, you're basically trapping yourself in one form of an abusive relationship. Once you let someone walk all over you and get away with it, it'll happen again and again
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>>16949013
I made it sound like it was two separate instances, my bad, she cheated on me two times in around the same time period and came clean to me about it, then we broke up, then we got back together after awhile. No, other than the whole no sex thing everything is going better than it ever has.
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>>16949030

In my experience: Some people cheat, some people don't. Cheaters will always cheat again. Maybe your girlfriend is the magical exception to the rule, but I really, really doubt it
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>>16949032
Ive had my worries, I'm going to hope that she is the magical exception to the rule but I'm not going to let myself be disappointed if she isn't. I went a little crazy last time and fucked some shit up, I won't let that happen again.
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I'm just getting fed up and I feel stuck. I'm always stuck. I'm never financially set and neither is she, we are always each other's financial crutch and we always get into these tight money situations to where we both share responsibility for the situation so I cannot ever just walk out on her whenever I feel so inclined. I don't want to leave her but I don't know if I can stay with her, I've brought up the sex thing with her before and she just gets upset and then on occasion she would give in and force herself to have sex with me and that is the most dissatisfying sex I have ever had, I would much rather beat it than fuck someone who just sits there and takes it. It's so very frustrating because when I do try to talk about it her typical response is "OKAY YOU CAN JUST FUCK ME WHENEVER YOU WANT" and I'm not just wanting sex because it feels good, but because well that's what fucking couples do, there is a connection when it happens.
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I guess I'll ask then, how do I put this all to her without sounding batshit crazy?
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maybe she has a hemorrhoid.
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>>16949160
Maybe so. A constant hemorrhoid.
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Who here cheated on their spouse?

I'm in my 20's and married to a girl 3 years older than m . We have been married for almost 6 months but I just do not feel sexually satisfied. We don't have sex except for like once every 2 weeks. I have asked her what's wrong ecto and she just says she's not in the mood or she's busy. However, I just see her on youtube or sleeping or just on scrolling down on fb like a zombie. It has started to make me feel self conscious. When we were dating we were the kinkiest and grossest couple out there. Sex was bomb but now its like non existent.

I've been lifting weights hard for the past 4 months and my body is transforming. I'm getting looks and mires from girls. I am supposed to fuck a college professor who's also married with a dead bedroom problem.

I feel guilty as fuck for even talking to this woman but I just can't take my wife turning me down every time. I've tried talking to her multiple times but nothing....
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>>16949273

If she has problems and you don't stand by her, you're a scumbag.

If you just have vastly differing sex drives when the 3 year "honeymoon phase" is over...well, you two need to talk about it.
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>>16949273
Be blunt with your wife

'i'm not sexually satisfied in our marriage. Is there anything I can do to change this, because I love you and I want this to work. But if there's nothing I can, then either I'm going to sleep with other people or divorce you'
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>>16948981
As soon as a woman decides to withhold sex, whatever the reason, it signals the beginning of the end. As such, if it drags on for a substantial amount of time, the end becomes reality.

This is something that requires a lot of talk, and not with us, OP.

But... She is a cheater. Many women stop sleeping with their partners, after engaging in an affair.
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>>16949102
Are you seriously trying to tell me that sex does not feel so overwhelmingly incredible that you wouldn't be willing to have sex with her even if she clearly doesn't want it? Youd rather jerk off than hurt her feelings?
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>>16949339
True, j just didn't know who to go to.

>>16949428
I have had a lot of sex in my life, so I'm saying yes, I would rather jerk off and have sex with someone who doesn't want it.
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>>16949563
Than have sex with someone who doesn't want it*
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>>16948999
lmao, shes cheating on you because youre a sad loser beta male
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>>16949273
>my body is transforming
>4 months

lmao, you cant make this shit up
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>>16949580
Oh anon you're so handsome and strong, why can't there be more men like you in the world.
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>>16948981
You're going to get a lot of asshurt in this thread I can taste it already.

Here is my experience - every married man I know has said the sex has fallen off of a cliff. This is supported by science in that different chemicals get released in the brain as the relationship grows older. I personally have noticed that most women slow down at about Year 2. Before, they couldn't wait for your dick. After about Year 2, it's:
>I'm stressed
>I'm tired
>I'm whatever
And, honestly, my personal experience has been that when you accept these excuses from her, she never really revs her sex engine back up. If you complain, the sex gets even worse because now you're being a whiny bitch in her eyes and no one likes that.

There are two solutions that have been effective for me. The first is that you find a woman who isn't shit tier. You find a woman that you can have honest and frank discussions with about what's up. THOSE rare women? You can just talk to them about it - "Honey, the sex frequency and intensity is decreasing, and it's affecting me." For non-shit-tier women, they will understand and work with you. If you step up, they'll step up. Because remember - it's not like you're fucking Brad Pitt man. You're not some sexy stud muffin either because sexy stud muffins don't have this problem. So you need to realize that you can't get fat and lazy and expect your woman to be attracted to that. So find a non-shit tier woman, step your game up, and shit should be OK. I've even had women be like "Look, I can't because I'm just not that motivated by sex. You feel free to get it elsewhere, etc." You have to communicate.

The second option is unhealthy but works - you keep them insecure. Insecurity makes them try x1000 times harder. Instead of whining, you go OK honey, I hope you feel better. You be super nice. Then you go spend time with your super hot female friends.... She'll either explode or she'll get insecure and put out. Usually both.
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>>16949041
Also, please pull your head out of your ass.
>She cheated twice.
>We broke up.
>Now she's not fucking me again.
GUESS WHAT FOOL - she's cheating right now. Fucking leave her.
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>>16949639
Best advice in this thread yet, thank you. I will try to implement that here soon.

You know I made this thread not thinking I would get any legitimate advice, and for the most part surprisingly I actually did, so thank you.
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