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i think my boyfriend may be breaking up with me soon, what should

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i think my boyfriend may be breaking up with me soon, what should I do?

im just getting a lot of signals and stuff, and hes really starting to push me away. it feels really bad because ive become really dependent on him, and its gonna be really hard... and not getting texts back, phone calls, having him cancel plans.. its just difficult to pretend like im OK when im far from it. idk how to cope? ive tried asking him whats wrong ad blah blah, hes alwys mad, he shuts me out and says hes fine but hes not.

I know its coming and I just don't know what to do, how to cope with it? im not gonna break up with him instead because that's not what I want. I just have to prepare for it....

its also totally possible that he might not, but I think its a 50/50 chance. I tried like calling him, txting him more etc, but that just kinda pushed him away more so now im just giving him space so he can decide what he wants. letting him text me first for the most part and make plans and whatever is what im gonna start doing I guess....


anyone been in similar position?
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>>16946548
If it happens, I highly recommend NOT pushing your feelings away and repressing. You have to sit with those feelings, cry and do whatever you need to to do to over come it. Repressing will make it 100% worse in the long run.
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>>16946548
The solution is simple fuck someone else he probably already is and just doesn't know how to get rid of you withough feeling guilty about it. This is basically how it went with my previous gf after I started cheating I realized she wasn't anything special but I didn't want to cause her pain just didn't want to be bothered by a clingy lump
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>>16946559
I mean ive been crying all day, I didn't do my essays for college tat were due, or go to class. im a fucking mess...

>>16946567
I mean I don't want to think shit like that. its possible he could be though, because he kept saying weird stuff that made it seem like he was cheating. I realy don't know. IM not gonna think shit like that Im just gnna b okay andhe will dump me when he does, no need to freak myself out even more.....
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>>16946548
To me, with this little bit of information, it sounds like you're too clingy. That can be really irritating to deal with.
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>>16946567
how long did u wait before u broke up with her? and yeah if hes doing that he probably feels realy bad and is just tryng to push me away so he feel less shitty. but the best thing to do is jst dump me instead of string me along, you know...
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>>16946596
I wasn't at first,but ive gotten clingy. ive stopped now, but its really hard. because I don't text him or call him and I don't double text ad stuff I just wait, and its rally hard.....

I am irritating to deal with, after all this time, I probably have become irritating, and I think hes just really sick of me at this point. it just really hurts but if hes gonna dump me I just wish he would do it alright im in a lot of pain right now
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Just force him to say what he may and get it over with for the better or the worse. It´s better (even if things end) than being more and more broken from his behavior.
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>>16946598
It took about 4 months of me consistently blowing her off and fucking random girls before I just told to her leave me alone she tried to kill herself that night which is exactly what I was trying to avoid but some shit just can't be stopped when you allow your emotions to control you there is no room for rationality he's just a guy and the 3 billion other ones out there just find one if you not fuck ugly you should be able to replace him in a matter of minutes
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>>16946666
that's like so fuked up. in the 4 months did you ever see her and stuff? like did u string her on or was it clear that you were done? and youre just kinda fuckd up dude.


>>16946624
ive tried.i literally cant ask him because he gets mad and screams. its uselss.he says he still wants to be with me, but im getting mixed signals..
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>>16946681
Yeah I saw her once in a while it was a lot of clinging and her being generally sad I would've immediately ended it but I thought I could ease her into being on her own because I always knew she was a self harm risk. She turned out totally fine and we're even friends now she was just in a dark place for a while
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>>16946723
the clingy and being sad sounds exactly like me. like honestly if he just dumped me, would stop clingy and being sad. I mean I would be sad, but for a while and I would get over it.
how often did u see her, did you act angry? text her/call? pretend like it was ok?
Id never hurt myself but what im going through now is A LOT I have a history of eating disordes and im kinda slipping into that plus I had a weird urge to cut myself today which I never did, but I did just once it was weirdddddd.........
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>>16946723
nd how did u try to get her into being on her own? like I just wannas see if that what hes trying to do
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>>16946553
oh look it's the internet hate machine
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>>16946736
I didn't intentionally get angry with her but clinging is very annoying to me and definitely made my patience lower with her. I also think getting my sexual satisfaction somewhere else made me see all the tings about her that i ddnt like but was overlooking when we were monogamous. Its easier to over look someones faults when youre trying to get that release. Also don't hurt yourself just because someone else is hurting you that's emotions trying to kill your rationality. I know it's difficult to step back and look at the situation objectively especially bc I'm assuming you have real feeling for him or you wouldn't really care but you've got to let go of emotion and act like a scientist observing and making inferences.
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>>16946739
When I said I was busy or didn't want to see her she would say things like I'm making her not able to go out bc she can't plans with me and it almost seemed like she was trying to guilt me into changing my answer but I realize that was just her desperation to bring me back closer to her. I would suggest she do other things with her other friends that wouldn't involve me basically hoping she would see there is life beyond our relationship
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>>16946771
I know.

throughout our relationship,for the most part I just felt like he wasn't right for me. hes pretty selfish, not very empathetic, and we don't agree on a lot of things. we do agree on some things, but hes kinda from a different world. im a good girl I grew up in low income, but I grew up with a lot of rich kids so even though my family was dysfunctional and all of that, I identified myself with the kids I grew up with. he is from a lower income famly too but identifies himself with them. I THINK. I THINK THIS STUFF im not sure if its true. but I jst feel like he doesn't have a lot of values and stuff. idk. like im not perfect either, at all, but im good with makeup and I take pride in my appearance/body, I get a lot of attention from guys if I want. I just started to relly love him and be attached. that's what happens to me in relationships, im more in love wth the idea of love than anything.
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>>16946780
I see. well hs definitely been cancelling plans a lot more thn usual, or making plans ahead of time so we cant make any.

but honestly at this point, its actually pushing me away and not making me clingy anymore. its just too much, ive had a rough life and ive lost a lot of people, so when shit like this happens, I plan for them to leave i.e. what im doing now.

he just called me and said we cn hangout tomorrow and then he said also Thursday and Friday. I said ok, but I have a feeling he wont wanna hang out all those days which is fine its just like dont ask me then.

I work 40 hours a week and im a student, so I have life outside of him. just lately ive been fucking up a lot hbecause like I said ive lost a lot of people in my life, so It just hurts to love someone again and watch them leave..
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>>16946803
I get you and your feelings on this are completely justified but if he really doesn't love you the way you're in love with him then perhaps it's not meant to be. In the end you have to ask yourself is it worth being treated this way to keep him for however long he decides you're still worthy of him. Everyone deserves a healthy and happy relationship.
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>>16946825
definitely.
the thing is I really dontknow. like I could just be paranoid.

the thing really is that it was our one year anniversary a couple days ago, and the night before he said he felt bad about us and felt like I cheated on him if we've been together for a year, because I broke up with him for three days, never thought iwould see him again and I kissed someone else. *this was all bc of shit he did which led me to doing this, it wasn't for fun or anything* this happened five months ago and hes bringing it up now, saying its because of our anniversary. then he seemed unhappy on our anniversary, yelled at me for asking whats wrong (like screamed) and didn't wanna see me for the rest of the night. hes been yelling at me a lot prior. the reason why im scared hes gonan break up is because of he said he felt bad about us, and how messed up he was that night, and how mean he was to me (night before our anniversary). he said he wouldn't let it affect us and he was sorry for getting so mad,but the night night on our anniversary he said he was just tired but he seemed so unhappy, and again me asking him a bunch of times led to him screaming at me in a scary tone

today and yesterday he seemed normal again,besides the fact he cancelld seeing me tonight, he called me and he texted me first, and he asked to see me tomorrow and the other days of the week (but will prob bail on some?) but who he really knows.. im just keeping my distance because I dont know what to think, and Im trying to minimize how hurt I might get...

but youre totally right. its just like, idk if im being paranoid and he does wanna be with me. I really dont know.
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>>16946850
It sounds to me like he's bringing up old issues to distract you because he doesn't want to talk about what's wrong. It sounds like he's got some internal conflict that he needs to resolve and he's letting his anger out at you. What did he get you for your anniversary?
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>>16946850

Well if I were you I would just put it very clear. Something like: "I think there is a problem with us. You can talk to me about it when you are ready, but I need to know if there is something wrong(you deserve at least this in a relationship)."

Try not to get paranoid about a possible breakup or you will end up forcing it.
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>>16946869
yeah.. I also just thought it to be weird to bring something up frm five months ago. at the time, I thought he wanted to get rid of me and use it as an excuse.. put the blame on me, you know. but idk, then it did kinda make sense because he does care about stuff like that, and it could be possible that he actually ws upset because of It. but what I did wasn't huge? we were broken up, and I didn't sleep with him..

he didn't get me anything =/ he took me out and we went to dinner, saw a movie, had a drink, and we went to the mall and he wanted to buy me anything I wanted but I felt bad, so I didn't let him buy me anything. he prob spent 100 on both of us, and we went somewhere like an hour and a half away. but again he was unhappy all day, he acted pissd at dinner/jealous bc our waitor was attractive even tho I didn't flirt w him, he seemed mad and like cut me off when the waitor asked questions he answered them instead of me.

the drive home he sceamed at me,was realy mean, wanted me to leave after but I uninvitingly slept over cuz I was tired.

5 months ago I broke up w/ him because of his friendship with his ex's twin sister/family. I just couldn't deal with it. it disgusts me, shes a nasty slut and I found proof that he at least considered dating her at some point. I freaked out. he finally stoped being friends with her this was one month ago, but hes still friends with the other people in the group, which includes her twin brother (they are actually triplets..the sisters and brothr). so if he has internal conflict, it could definitely be that.

but when all this happened, it is true that he really didn't have time to like grieve over what I did, he said we pushed it under the carpet bc I was just so mad and he focused more on making me feel bette, he was upset for like a day. I mean it could rly b because of all this, but his anger/ cancelling is weird. Im trying to pretend Im ok so he dsn't get mad, & see wht happens, and be independent
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>>16946881
Ive done that several times, he says he wants to be with me, when I ask him still he gets mad and yells at me, I really cant ask him anymore or he wil actualy brak up with me..
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>>16946921
Ok now I thnk I get it he's insecure could be bottled up from that brief break up event or it could be totally unrelated to you. Something made him feel like less of a man and now he thinks raging at you will solve his problem this is a dangerous road to go down. Be careful and if he even gets close to becoming violent leave and never look back this is something only he and maybe a therapist can help with. Unfortunately it's incredibly difficult to bring up a subject like this without him having an episode so if you do recommend it to him make sure it's somewhere public it'll cut that chances of him doing something hell regret. But you should know things like this do not just go away or get better on their own.
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>>16946959
I was considering insecurity as a possibility, too.

like I guess me kissing that other guy over the break up could make him feel insecure... imean hes really attractive. and I get a lot of attention from guys, they have flirted with me in front of him (like one of his friends friends called me princess once in front of him and he was pissed).

yeah. when he yelled at me in the car was honestly scared.

idk but like you said it could be something else. like I have no idea at all........ but the waitor thing and blah bah

oh also when we were eating, I was like "ahh so yeh the shirt I have to wear at work now is so ugly its huge"
ad he was like "good, then guys wont stare at you" and I was likelol and he was like Im just kidding-ish...

when the waitor took our orders he asked him, then mine and I said ill have water then the waitor continued to look at me and he asked me a question about appetizers or something and my bf just totally interrupted and made an order and then when he waitor came over after it was super awkward, and he barely ate any food and persuaded me to take it to go
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>>16946977
It definitely sounds like typical insecure and jealous behavior if he isn't willing to get help it's best that you remove yourself from the situation as harsh as that may sound
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My relationship with my gf just ended today. She gets offended by the things I say sometimes, and honestly she isn't in a good place and she doesn't like worrying about me.

It's okay. The hurt will be there, it will sting for a day or two. But you will endure. Cry a lot, be sad, talk to your friends. My best friend came by and consoled me while I was sad.

There is no good answer. But the thing is, his distance from you does not mean you are a bad person, or unloveable. It simply means he doesn't want you. And yes, all that attention and affection may be gone, but it was never going to come back anyways. Those costs are sunk, and you are better off without them.

If you want a relationship and they don't it isn't meant to be. You will realize this in due time.
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