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Being too nice to people

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Can anyone to relate?

I've always been very gentle -natured since my childhood, almost docile, but not in a sense that I would let people use me for their own benefit, I usually cut all contact at that point before I let that happen.

I don't held grudges or talk shit about my coworkers behind their back, or criticize my friends behind their back, or even just gossip around about anyone's business.

I had really drastic ego-death experiences during my 20s with LSD and MDMA and it made me feel almost universal love towards almost every living being. Sadly, those experiences just made me feel more alienated around my peers.

People like to talk shit all the time about everyone. Coworkers talk shit about other coworkers, about my boss. Friends talk shit about friends etc and gossip about their (private) business.

Usually those people who criticize and talk shit about people behind their backs to you, will probably do so about you when you are not around. This cycle depresses me more and more and has alienated me from my social circle in general through the years.

Most of my coworkers almost hate me for this thing. They think probably that I have some "holier than thou" -attitude that I don't generally banter (friendly or unfriendly) about anyone and tend to keep to myself.

I fried my brain with acid and eastern mysticism too long ago and everyday I get up and leave my house it's like entering some utopian Reptilian world where everyone is in a hurry to not care about hurting feelings and rights of others. It's make you just more nihilistic in the long run, even though you find may some absolute gems on your journey, that is, my closest friends.
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Generally, from my experience, people who think they are "too nice" are anything but. Have you considered that you might actually just be insufferable and holier-than-thou like you said?
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>>16946042
You know people talk shit all the time about other people BUT they don't take it as serious as you do. People fight and make up. People like sone things about you just as they don't like some things about you.
It's human nature to gossip and talk behind the back of other people while not thinking much about it.
Because even when talking shit most people don't take it seriously and will still like their friend/coworker etc as much as they did before.

You just take things to serious and are hurt by the imagination about people talking shit about you. That's the only reason that made you lose your friends and social contacts.
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find a new career perhaps? These people sound like they hate their jobs. It does kind of suck knowing most people arn't real and honest beings. Makes you trust less and less but if you're not such a prick then surely there must be others like yourself. Or like the other mentioned maybe you're one of those narcissists who wont stfu about how kind they are to others hope not
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>>16946042
The fact alone that you need to proclaim to us how nice you are tells us that you're not as nice as you think you are.
But maybe you'll understand better if you look up the difference between being nice and being kind.
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