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>engaged >getting married in a few months >first dress

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Thread replies: 24
Thread images: 1

>engaged
>getting married in a few months
>first dress fitting is on Saturday
>nervous as fuck
>don't think I actually want to get married
>thought maybe trying the dress on might put things into perspective
>but don't want to ignore these feelings I'm having

Should I reschedule this dress fitting until I'm thinking a bit more clearly? If I do decide to go through with it, I don't want the dress fitting experience to be ruined by my concerns. I have to buy it regardless so there's no additional cost involved if I do go.
>>
>>16945905
>don't think I actually want to get married

Why not?
>>
>>16945905

if you arent sure you are ready to get married, it might be time to have a serious talk with your partner.

why dont you want to get married? do you already live together and whatnot?
>>
>>16945909

Reasons I don't really want to go into. I'd be marrying someone I wasn't in love with, who I have no spark with, just to appease family and friends who are expecting a wedding (because we arranged one).

I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do.
>>
>>16945914

We live together, I have discussed my feelings regarding this but he has a pretty strict "Marry me or fuck off" policy because he doesn't want the embarrassment of cancelling or postponing the wedding.
>>
>>16945917
Where do you live?
>>
>>16945923
>helovesyoubutyounotdonehoeing.png
>>
>>16945923
Do you really want to marry someone who cares more about his public appearance than your feelings? If you're feeling pressured, fuck this guy.
>>
>>16945923

how harsh was his 'fuck off' statement? cuz if it was close to an actual 'fuck off' thats rather selfish. he doesnt want to marry you, he wnats to be married.

but were not there, so its hard to say. i guess if hes determined just think of it this way: women win in divorce.

divorce is just a paperwork break up these days. since you are not a dude, you can just say you want a divorce when it goes too south. though if you think its too south now, break up now and save the trouble.
>>
>>16945923
How long have you been on this relationship?
>>
>>16945935

I do understand his frustration but I've tried every angle and he just won't compromise. In the end I agreed to continue as normal because I got tired of arguing with him about it.

>>16945934

I wish it was this easy. I don't even think he really loves me that much, I think he just doesn't want everybody to know we've fucked up.
>>
>>16945948

>i dont even think he really loves me that much

then cancel the wedding
>>
>>16945948
Cancel the wedding. You don't want a guy who treats you the way he does
>>
>>16945936

I don't want to divorce though. I don't want to put either of us through the process of a divorce when I'm almost positive it will happen. I don't want any money so he doesn't have to worry about me fucking him over.

I can almost guarantee he doesn't just want to get married as it's not something he ever agreed with. I think he did it because he thought I wanted to, then I got carried away with the idea before suddenly realising that's not what I wanted.
>>
>>16945954

>neither of us wants to be married

cancel the wedding
>>
>>16945951

Not because he's some evil bastard, I just think our relationship is one of habit. We probably love each other in the sense that close friends do.
>>
>>16945954

talk to him about doing it all but just not filling out paperwork. its legal to have a wedding with whoever you want, as long as you dont fill out the paperwork.

so if you arent willing to cancel the wedding and get out of the relationship, the ntell him you dont want it to be legal.

>>16945961

>were close friends who bang

cancel the wedding
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>>16945962

The physical side of the relationship is the biggest problem. I would adore to be with a close friend who I could bang.
>>
>>16945969

cancel the wedding.
>>
>>16945917
Wtf are you even doing, OP?
Don't go through with this.
It may seem like "but i can't" when you think about cancelling the wedding, but how much more so is the thought of divorcing afterwards going to be?
Don't sacrifice all hope of being happy just to appease the perceived expectations of others.
Cancel the goddamn wedding ffs. This is a no-brainer. Why are you even asking for advice on this?
>>
>>16945905
Omfg
Calm the fuk down. It's not as if you can't cancel the marriage in the first month's if you really feel you made a mistake still. At least in Germany you can cancel the marriage in the first six months of your marriage.
If I'm not wrong it's similar in the US.
>>
>>16946065
Those are annulments but you usually need a good reason for an annulment to be granted.
>>
>Don't wanna get married
>he don't wanna get married
>He don't love me
>What do?
Seriously? Being embarrassed for a couple months is not half as bad as legally shackling yourself to someone you're only kind of fond of.

Get your shit together, OP. Seriously. It's straight people like you that make marriage look shitty to everyone else.
>>
Just remember, lawyers are expensive and divorces are lengthy.
Thread posts: 24
Thread images: 1


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