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Most people describe me as funny, as the guy who brings life to a group, and I try my damnedest to be as kind as I possibly can (religious, not a "nice guy"), but I almost never get invited to things with people. I almost always have to force myself into the group, which never bothers anyone, but is starting to become bothersome to myself. It's just annoying when 10/12 times I am out with people in say, a month, I invited myself. The other 2 times are with one of my closest friends since high school.
I have depression and anxiety, but this is treated with medication, and only a handful of people know because I try hard to keep it hidden. I'm just not sure what it is about me that makes me always an afterthought to groups. Recently I've decided to say fuck it to that, and am trying to spend my time enjoying myself and bettering myself, but I ALSO find trouble staying determined in that regard.
So I guess what I'm asking more is, how do I stay determined to better myself, despite all the loneliness and the desire to say, "Fuck it, I'm going to take a nap," my friends have done this since we all started at college (I'm pretty sure the main reason is because ALL of them go to the same school, which I don't attend) so I just want to make myself more the person I want to be.
Basically, how do I deal with being lonely?
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>>16945610
Everytime you wanna take a nap think of your post and do something too better yourself
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It sounds like your problem is that you're trying to hard to be nice and the funny guy, and that's making you come off as either the type of person that's actually difficult to relax around (because sometimes religious people, even if they're nice, are pretty up-tight) or maybe they're just crappy friends, or maybe that the fact that you're trying so hard is evident and makes you seem a little phony/hard to relate/bond with.
The underlying depression and anxiety kind of hints at that too.
The solution, just keep doing what your doing, and do it so that YOU enjoy yourself. You don't need them to do that. And nothing's stopping you from going out in to the world, sitting down at a restaurant or a bar, and making new friends.
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>>16945610
>most people describe me as the guy who brings life to a group
>never invited to things with people
picj one and only one
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>>16945610
Do you ever reach out to them? Are you ever the guy who says "Who wants to go see the new movie this weekend?"
From the outside, shyness sometimes looks a lot like unfriendliness, and if you don't instigate get-togethers, they can get the idea that you don't enjoy their company. So then they will respect your privacy by not imposing on you.
You have to actively send the clear signal that you want their company.
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