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I kinda need serious advice on this one, because it's killing me.
>be me
>move out of country at 13
>dad's an alcoholic, mom finds another guy, moves to him and takes me with her
>have trouble settling in
>start isolating myself
>virtually no friends
>get diagnosed with depression at 14
>refuse treatment
>mom supports me on it
>isolation becomes overwhelming
>life goes on somehow
>4 years pass
>i drop out of high school due to isolation
>find this distance high school tuition place
>keep signing up but never going due to fear
>be me, 24
>i overcame depression, anxiety, fear of socializing, etc.
>did it all by myself; kinda proud of that
>found an amazing job
>still no high school
>planning on finishing it and going to college
>actually get to have dreams about my future
>still lonely as shit
>want to change
>final step to full recovery
And here's the issue: I am not sure if I am simply making it up, I am definitely unsure if it's lack of communication skills, and I do not know if it's because I am merely out of practice, but I am literally incapable of establishing any form of lasting, "quality" contacts with people. The most I've gotten thus far, are some dates with girls that I never saw again.
Back in the days, I used to overly analyze everything. I'd pay attention to what I say, how I say it, the general flow of the conversations, where things would start falling out, etc. Now, I try to do the same thing, but I am actually unable to find where I am fucking up, and due to my history, I am kind of obligated to assume that it is my fault.
I've met an INSANE amount of people, and it simply does not happen. Small talk goes fine, I balance out between asking reasonably interesting questions, making simple jokes here and there, and paying attention to the other person, but that's just it. It ends miserably and forever.
I am not overweight, I look good, I've been told that I am very intelligent, I can talk about anything thrown at me.
Help me out, adv.
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Check out RSDTyler on YouTube.
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>>16945329
Thanks, I'll definitely check the guy out.
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For future reference, I am not looking for a dating advice. This happens to me with EVERYBODY. By mentioning dates, I meant to exemplify my what my "closer" contacts have been like. That's about it.
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>>16945306
Dude this is literally my life story.
Have Skype or something?
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>>16945374
The only thing that I use is Kik. If you've got one, leave it here and I'll add you.
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>>16945306
First of all, congratulations on getting so far.
Second, you are asking too much of life. The overwhelming majority of human contacts for anyone are shallow, temporary or matters of proximity.
Most of the people most people know are not close friends or lovers, but people they have very little in common with except for one shallow connection - they work together, or support the same team, or live nearby. And most people accept such shallow connections as satisfactory for the most part.
Now, out of that mass of acquaintances, it sometimes happens that one or two become real friends or lovers. But that is the product of time and a kind of slow winnowing-out.
Learn to enjoy casual connections for their own better-than-being-alone value, and just wait for the few deeper friendships to develop.
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>>16945306
That's just how it is when you get older (past the highschool/college age). It becomes harder and harder to make long lasting connections with others because mostly everyone is
a.) Busy with work
b.) Busy with family
c.) Already has their own set social circle
d.) Set enough in their life expectations/viewpoints that they tend to gravitate only towards others who match theirs (as opposed to when you're younger and all of this stuff is pretty fluid, so everyone meshes easier)
Don't take it personally, just keep at it, and keep making your life better for you.
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>>16945701
>>16945712
So, your suggestion is to merely get used to it? What if there is actually something wrong with the way I talk to people? Shouldn't I be bothered by that possibility?
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