I did it...

Don't beat yourself up over it (figuratively or literally). Relapses happen. There really isn't anything quite like that endorphin rush and feeling of release from cutting, so even while you may know it's not cool, the urge to do it can be pretty powerful. Sounds like you have chronic stressors and then the acute stressor of your camera bag going missing was the straw that broke the camel's back. You're reverting to destructive ways of coping because your regular ways are insufficient, and in the past, the cutting seemed to get you through.

How deep are the cuts? If it looks like you might need stitches, you should go to the ER or a doc in the next 12-24 hours if you can. Otherwise just keep them loosely covered so they stay clean, and monitor them for signs of infection (warmth, swelling, pus).

Here comes the part you may not want to hear. Consider seeing a therapist. Campus counselors may or may not be able to help you long term, but maybe stop by and see one anyway. They can help you figure out if you should see a regular psychologist or not.

Whether you decide to see a counselor or not, you must do whatever you can to reduce sources of stress in your life. Even if it seems impossible, at least try. If there's a class you can get away with dropping or sloughing off in, do it. If you have a friend who's always getting on your nerves, ditch them.

At the very least, you need a support system, people you can turn to when shit goes downhill. Friends, parents, siblings. If you can't turn to any of those people, then you should definitely find a counselor, because humans aren't made to bear shittons of stress all by themselves. Yeah there's a lot to be said for manning up and dealing with life, and college is a good place to do that. But cutting is a sign that you're mentally overloaded. There's nothing wrong with asking for help, so do it.

I hope things get better for you OP, I used to cut in college too from the stress. Shitsux.

>>16944464
If you want a girlfriend, let me give you some advice and tell you there's nothing more unattractive in a man for a woman to know that he cuts himself either for attention or out of emasculation. My advice? Fucking. Stop. Now.

>>16944499
This.

Plus.... not just unattractive to women but unattractive to everyone.

No employer is going to consider a cutter or special snowflake for a real job that pays good money. They see you as unreliable and unstable.

Likewise friends see someone who cuts as weird and they avoid getting you involved in their normal activities, worried you'll flip out or hurt yourself over some minor meaningless drama.

Cut yoUr Nonsense ouT.

>>16944496
First, I'd like to clarify. I grabbed that picture from google just for the post.

Second, thank you for all the advice. And one of my cuts is deep, but the other one is smaller. I don't think I'll need stitches or need to go see a doctor, but I definitely will keep an eye on it.

Never thought that the adrenaline from it would be helpful...got tears in my eyes from it. I know it's not cool cause I went to therapy for two years up until the end of high school.

Yeah the camera bag just made yesterday hell for me...and anything right now that usually I can deal with is just setting me off.
I may consider a therapist, but I want to wait until next week to make sure I'm okay. It may just be this week that's causing the major stress.

Again...thank you

>>16944499
I hate to be a dick about this comment, but I haven't cut in three years. This hasn't been on my mind at all, just wanted to say that.

>>16944529
You've come a long way, with nothing for three years. A small relapse was probably over due, just don't let it drag you back in.

>>16944516
Not OP but
>No employer is going to consider a cutter or special snowflake for a real job that pays good money. They see you as unreliable and unstable.
Only if they know you do it.

>Likewise friends see someone who cuts as weird and they avoid getting you involved in their normal activities, worried you'll flip out or hurt yourself over some minor meaningless drama.
Depends on the friends, man. Cutters tend to flock together because they understand each other. If they're immature, this can backfire because emotional instability is perfect food for drama. But if they're working on helping themselves and each other, it can be a real boon. My husband and I are both former/occasional cutters (like I said, relapses happen, but thankfully they are years apart now). Anyway yeah, some friends and potential partners will be scared off by it, but honestly - the type of person who has a good chance of understanding where you're coming from will generally be accepting of it.

>>16944523
>I grabbed that picture from google just for the post.
I figured as much, you mentioned that in your OP and plus the cuts in the pic don't look fresh.

And you are very welcome. Glad I could help.

Why the fuck do these fucking attention whore cutters keep posting pictures of their shitty cuts?
I get that it's your way to show pain and frustration, but can't you just not post this shit on a sfw board?