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How to breakup with somebody

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This Thursday I'm breaking up with the girl I've loved for the last 15 months. Not my first rodeo (relationship record is almost 4 years) but I've never actually been the one doing the breakup.

I just can't stand this girl. And I've never been in this position as the other person has always lost interest in ME. But this time she's just too petty, negative and toxic and I just want something different. I can't imagine the hell of being with her forever, so I figure I need to dump her and quit wasting my young years.

I have no idea what to say to her. I was her first boyfriend. I was her first kiss and also took her virginity. On top of all this, she's uber-Christian and these things mean much more to her.

I shouldn't feel like an asshole but I do. Please, anything will help.

the biggest issue with break ups is that they tend to escalate. no matter where you are she can throw a wrench in your plans, but this ones pretty fool proof.

>write down your breakup speech
>make it short, it should fit in five sentences
>it doesnt have to be honest, but dont make it a lie
>"anonnete, we've had a lot of fun, but I'm just not feeling those feelings you're supposed to feel when you've been with someone for this long. I like you a lot but i don't love you, and I know there is somebody how there who does. I'm sorry, but we have to break up. i thought about it long and hard, and i wont change my mind.
>once you got it written down, memorize it, duh.
>then get a friend and ahve him drive you to her place
>you go in and say 'i cant stay long, my friend mark dropped me off, and he has to get to his grandma's catillion in 15 minutes'
>you proceed to tell her your break up story.
>she will have follow up questions, avoid at all cost. she will try to argue you into staying in the relationship, try to prove to you that your opinions are wrong
>simply restate that things have changed, its the way you feel, and you are sorry.
>after fifteen minutes your friend comes in, takes you to the car, and drives you away
>you immediately block her on facebook and on cell phone. you leave her saying she can reach you via email, but only if it is to pick up anything she might have left at your place (you will bring everything to her that you can find though)
>if she abuses this to try and make contact ofr anything other than the business of collecting something of hers, you block her email.

good luck
Bring her to a coffee shop so she won't make a scene. I did it with my ex it worked out great, she didn't complain make a fuss did get some texts about it. See nobody wants to embarrass themselves in front of a group of strangers unless she is psycho it will go great. Plus it's a coffee shop she will easily find someone else there.
Seems pretty fool proof.

I'll try to follow as much of this as possible, minus the friend-dropping-off thing. I dont have many friends in the area anymore.
seems logical, my only concern is the realization that anyone else in the coffee shop could be listening to me at any point. I dont really want attention brought to the situation, but maybe that pressure is exactly what SHE needs too...

I did something very similar and I would recommend the same thing. She was in tears and lost her shit. I didn't initially block her on FaceBook which I should have, because she just fucking rammed out essays on Facebook.

>minus the friend thing

the friend thing is hte entire fucking point. when she melts down and starts crying a friend is hwats going to pull oyu out of there.
Going to her house is an awful idea, nothing worse than a home break up. Found out my ex was cheating on me, I told her it was over she sat in my backyard with my roommates for a good twenty minutes. I wanted to have a cigarette so badly but couldnt because she was there. It felt like an eternity holding back emotions for that whole night. I wanted to say "oh are you still here? Why?" I just finished my drink in my room and waited for her to exit. After she left I drank a bunch of Jager and held back every damn emotion I had. The home break up is an awful idea, to many variables to many people asking why.
really not looking forward to the social media side of this. For a Christian girl, she's gossipy and petty as hell. Who knows what she's gonna make up.

My hands are unfortunately tied here, I could get my little bro to help out but that's about it

>going to her house is an awful idea
>proceeds to tell a story about a break up at his own house


little bro works just as well but you need SOME extraction team, otherwise you get roped in by her drama and stay for hours discussing shit
should I sent "goodbye and thank you" messages to a few family members? Her family was saintly to me

if you want. it wont really matter after the fact. id do it a little more detailed then 'goodbye and thank you' but yeah
How did you find out about the cheating and, after that, how did she take the break up?
I think that it's kinda cruel to leave someone without giving them the answers they seek.
It could eat them alive, overthinking all the shit that you could think of.
I plan to stay and talk as long as she has constructive questions. As soon as she starts pointing fingers, raging, or restarting a circle of previous questions, Im out
Well, you could also give her time and then answer her questions when she's ready, after a while.
like I said, as long as they're constructive questions and not finger pointing, I'll oblige
Thread posts: 18
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