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On the subject of my recent breakup...

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Hello /adv/.

I came to you about a month ago (February 19) asking for advice on breaking up with my then-fiance.

Over the past month we have kept in contact. I met up with her a few times, and the first couple of times, she was her normal self and bitched at me, so I went no-contact for almost a week. The past few times she has been nice and intentionally avoided all fights. 2 of the times we met up ended in sex.

My problem is that she, in her words, is "looking for someone to spend the rest of [her] life with", and quite frankly, I do still love her. However, she is being really demanding with regards to us getting back together. Her "demands" are as follows:

- I get rid of both my antique leather couch(comfiest motherfucker in existence), as well as my bed. Her reason for this one is because before our relationship, I used to masturbate on the couch and bed, and she finds the sight of them revolting.
- I cannot fail another college course. Pretty damn tough in engineering.
- I can't be tired all the time and want to sleep in.

The first one is the worst for me. Both are perfectly fine, and at least I'd never had sex with anyone else on them(unlike her furniture). I can't decide if I should get back with her or tell her to fuck off.

She's my first girlfriend. 9.5/10. DD cups, 90 lbs, French-American model for Hollister. I love her so much, but she has cheated on my 2 times, and my grades are faltering because I've spent so much time with her. Can't decide what to do.

Pic is of our cat.
>>
Seriously Dude?

She cheated on you TWICE and you still want to get back together with her?

You broke up with HER and SHE is making all the demands?

First Girlfriend? Bro...

Let me ask you a question...

Are you comfy being a cuckold all your life? Because the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. She cheated on you once and didn't care enough to learn her lesson.

She DOESN'T respect you clearly at all and thus does not love you. (Respect is a pre-requisite to love.)

You are just clung onto who you WISH she was.

Don't bother with her, move on...

Seriously not even a doubt...
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This has to be a troll lol
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>>16944111
lol
nigga you dumb
nice repeating digits though
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>>16944111

wow man you sound exactly like me. I had a shitty girlfriend who cheated on me (I cheated on her too, but she would hold it over my head) and I stayed with her because
1) she was cute
2) she was my first girlfriend
3) I was scared I wouldn't be able to find anything better

She broke up with me like 3 weeks ago and I got real depressed and spent all my time trying to get her back.

Well, a week ago I got a DUI that would not have happened if I wasn't being all mopey and depressed about her. It probably would have happened at some point, but not when it did.

My ex-girlfriend has been totally unsupportive, as she was with my school work, towards my newfound legal troubles. Overall the legal shit has put in perspective how shitty of a girlfriend she was and how dumb I was for letting her dominate my life/mind/time.

It took a seriously fucked up thing happening to get me to realize how shitty she was. It will probably take something similar for you, OP, but realize she sucks.

Also, I got a date with this cute ass girl I saw around campus earlier this semester and we have a second date coming up this weekend hopefully.

The moral of the story, OP? Leave your fucking piece of shit girl before she ruins your life anymore.
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>>16944138
The reasons you've listed are the reasons I am making this post.

I know she is treating me like dirt, but I've major self-esteem issues, and I honestly don't believe that I'll ever find anyone else.
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>>16944152
Nope, unfortunately not.
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>>16944166
Situation is similar.

I've never cheated on her, yet she doesn't believe me. On the night that we broke up, she told me to kill myself....
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>>16944170

If you say unfortunately not, don't you realize that you are in a shitty situation?

I mean I broke up with my ex 1.5 years ago, haven't had sex either. It is what is but I've also just moved towns back in September and then I'm moving back at the end of may. It is what it is. But I'm a lot happier now that we broke up.
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>>16944167
If you posted because of the reasons I listed, then you already know the answer.

But honestly, it is better to be alone than with someone who will control you and continuously shit on you.

I don't even know you, but I can tell you that you are not meant to be a doormat.

I'm assuming you are relatively young, you will find someone else eventually. Just Get excited to meet someone who isn't a total piece of shit.
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>>16944184
I do realize how fucked up this situation is. I just can't bring myself to sever all ties with someone who I cared so much about.
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>>16944167

Yes you will...without problems. If you get your Eng. cert/degree, you can be 5'2" and 300lbs and you will still get a good looking girl. I have redneck in-laws that have literally told their daughters to go to college parties and hook up with engineering majors. My wife's cousin is one of these and she's the most vapid, unjustly arrogant piece of shit you will ever meet. But her husband is an engineer in the petroleum industry. He makes decent money and has three kids from her. I know his life probably sucks because his wife is a fuckhead (ex. she made him drop his FB account twice because girls he knew in HS were simply friending him and nothing more). Your girl sounds suspiciously like this and it is a huge red flag that she has cheated on you. You can definitely expect more of the same after marriage. I don't mean to scare you but damn - imagine going off to a 15 hour shift at work and busting your ass for awesome pay/promotion while your wife sits takes it easy all day having teas with other young moms or moms to be and spending your money on maids and lawn keepers and a shitton of trinkets that serve little purpose other than to compete with neighbors then spends each afternoon at the spa getting pounded into multiple orgasms by Raul the masseuse.

tl;dr - I don't care if she is 11/10, drop her ass and concentrate on school. Find someone who isn't going to *only* use you for a meal ticket (or whatever).
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>>16944187

right, you're still idealizing her in your head.

Think about all the things you hate about her and her worst qualities. That didn't work for me but it might work for you.

Or just wait for her to do something so heinous that you can no longer make excuses for her; at that point you will be legitimately disgusted by her and you'll lose these lovey feelings.
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>>16944187
But doesn't care about you?

It doesn't look like you are actually looking for advice, but rather searching for someone to tell you it will be okay to keep dating her, which seems to be what you really want to do.

No one here will suggest to you to continue to be a fuk boi. It is so obvious to us and logically it is obvious to you what you should do here.

But alas people don't use their brains but their emotions to make decisions in life, even when they are horrible choices.

I am nice enough to give the benefit of the doubt if she cheated once. But twice means that she really didn't learn anything and wasn't really scared to lose you. I believe in second chances, I do not believe in third chances.

I don't care what kind of confidence problems you have, you KNOW deep down getting back together with her is toxic.
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>>16944111

OP, no one here will tell you it's okay and you should comply to the demands. The fact that you even considered doing the last 2 is insane. She can't ask that from you when she cheated on you twice, it should be the opposite way around.
>>
Ok, I just did it. Results to come...
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>>16944242
Holy shit, everything this anon said is 100% spot on. You're literally looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.

I don't understand how people in relationships like this can do this shit. Every rational person can see she's bad for you and furthermore, doesn't respect you or give a shit about you. Dude, at some point your dignity has to kick in and you have to decide enough is enough,

I've seen people make these stupid mistakes over and over. I've seen so many people in this exact situation who refuse to do what they know is right because "I still love them." I don't care what you "feel," it's abundantly clear that nothing good will come of you staying together. For Christ's sake, please respect yourself and just let it go.

I hope I'm wrong, but from experience, you'll end up doing what you feel is right and not what you know is. So good luck with that.
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>>16944111
I was afraid of losing my first girlfriend after 1.5 years of dating. She basically would hang out with this other guy all the time whenever she was back home from college that clearly liked her. I should have given up. We ended up dating another 6 months and it was a waste.

Thought I couldn't do any better. Fast forward 3 months. I started dating another chick who was better in every single way. I'm not sure if we will end up together (3 years in, long distance for 2, and my new job is even further away and she doesn't really wanna make a commitment to me). But even if that doesn't work out I'm not worried.

First is the toughest, even when they are POS compared to other ones.
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>>16944111
>she has cheated on my 2 times, and my grades are faltering because I've spent so much time with her. Can't decide what to do.

Red flag right there. Dump her, you two are fucking done. It's over, accept it. And another thing:

>- I get rid of both my antique leather couch(comfiest motherfucker in existence), as well as my bed.

NEVER throw away ANYTHING that is yours just because a cunt says so. They're your possessions and she has no claim. Not to mention, you'll likely regret doing this. This is another red flag.

Get rid of her, it's over and she's being very unreasonable. Time to man up.
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>>16944272
So? Any news OP?
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>>16944398
Sorry for the delay. She tried to commit suicide. I showed up and got ems to pump her stomach.
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>>16944111
>- I cannot fail another college course. Pretty damn tough in engineering.
>- I can't be tired all the time and want to sleep in.
She knows how to train a good beta provider, I'll give her that.

Get to work anon, stop being lazy, go make that money. And work hard because it's all YOUR fault she cheated on you.
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She's a

9.5/10 on the trouble scale
9.5/10 on the spoilt princess scale

Take the demands as a warning. This is not about you and your couch or bed. She is a control freak and insecure - most models are like that - and every little thing that upsets her in her life will be blamed on you.

She will lash out at you, fuck around on you and make you miserable. And she will tell you it's your fault.

When her work dries up and she has to move around and you can't because of your job - it'll be your fault.

The disgust at masturbation foretells what your sex life will be like. Once the initial captivation wears off you won't be tapping that pussy much unless it's to produce kids or to reinforce her control over you. She will however use it to secure control and influence over others.

Is this how you want to live?
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> I love her so much, but she has cheated on my 2 times

Gain some self respect you beta. She certainly doesn't respect you nor do you respect yourself.

Otherwise good bait.
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>>16944111
>but she has cheated on my 2 times
Tell me your address. I will personally learn how to fly a fertilizer plane like a pro, and give you a sky writing about how dumb of a move is actually ACKNOWLEDGING HER EXISTENCE by that point.
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>>16944111
Drop her, her demands are selfish especially in such a situation where SHE should be one begging for forgiveness and giving things up to be back with you.
Nothing good will come of this, you think you love her and you probably do but sometimes you have to listen to your brain and if you're not a retard (you're in engineering so I hope not) your brain should be telling you no. This is not a situation in which you listen to your heart. This is a situation where you tell your heart to suck it up and stop being such a bitch, because you're the boss and you know what's best for it, and what's best for it is moving on from this chick.
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Dump that bitch, you deserve better. And keep the kitty.
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>>16944167
OP, lose her and work on yourself.

A year from now you'll be glad you did. I don't care how hot she is, she's treating you badly and you don't deserve it. You don't deserve it.
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>>16944111
>I love her so much, but she has cheated on my 2 times
No. Stay away.

Normally, I advocate that people at least consider forgiving a single incident of cheating. This is not for everyone, or every situation, but it has its rewards, and those can be worthwhile.

But never forgive twice. Twice is a pattern. She may break that pattern in the future, but not while she's with you: it's going to require bigger life changes than can be accomplished while the person she's been cheating on is around. Get out of there, and don't look back.

>>16944599
>She tried to commit suicide. I showed up and got ems to pump her stomach.
Oh my God. I'm sorry to hear that you've had to go through this.

But that only reinforces it: you HAVE TO get out.

She did not try to kill herself, OP.

This is just another attempt at manipulation: an extremely dangerous form of theater that you must not fall for. She used pills because of the time delay. She arranged for you to find her, within the time delay, partly to keep this stunt from killing her, but mostly to trigger the protective instinct. She is banking on this to prevent you from leaving.

I am sorry, OP, to tell you this. But for this moment, your heart must be like stone. It is good that you saved her life, but you are being abused. It is imperative that you get out. Make sure she gets the help she needs -some time in a psychiatric ward, which she'll be getting now, should suffice- but then get out. Return anything you've borrowed to her family, purge your home of mementos (except where, the bed and the couch, keeping them is an act of defiance), and then get out. Cut contact. She will live. But you need to not be in a relationship with her, and she needs to not be in a relationship with anyone.
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>>16944111
>she has cheated on my 2 times, and my grades are faltering because I've spent so much time with her
you have decided by writing this
what is more important to you? girl whom you can not trust or your grades = (future) work?
>implying three are hundreds of girls in the world, which would not cheat on you (if they love you)
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>>16944599
Make sure people who are close to her (aka her family and friends.) Know about the situation so they can keep an eye on her.

It's no mistake that she told you and only you.

Let others handle it, absolve yourself from this problem. Do not become an enabler.
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>>16944111
>9.5/10. DD cups, 90 lbs
>model for Hollister
>>16944599
>She tried to commit suicide
lmao
just like a soap opera. I doubt any of this is real
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>>16945439
>just like a soap opera. I doubt any of this is real
Abusive hottie fakes a suicide attempt to keep the SO/victim around? It's gutsier than the usual traps, but it's well within the bounds of plausibility. I hate using positive words like "gutsy" to describe things like this, but I know no better term.

It is, however, still blatant abuse. OP is right to call for help, but that should be his last duty to his ex. It is time to leave, cut all contact, and never, EVER look back.
Thread posts: 33
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