brutal manic depression

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dear /adv/, I just want perspective on general experience of what people seem to call manic depression or bipolar disorder. I'm a 22 y.o. man and it all started for me when I was 20.

20
>normal for the first 6 months
>manic episode lasting 3 months
>dark depression for the remainder

21
>alcohol and amphetamine abuse at all-time high
>can't remember much, but know that I was manic during the daytime and sedated at night
>do remember several psychotic experiences

22
>months upon months of unbelievably crippling depression
>since the start of this year, haven't been depressed, seemed to have snapped out of it
>less reliant upon amphetamine and alcohol, take days off
>today, depression hits me like a truck out of nowhere and for no reason

what's wrong with me? is it simply a curse? a self-fulfilling prophecy? I'm really not trying to be a special snowflake, I hate this experience, I want to put it past me. that's why I made this thread. maybe some of you kind anons have been through something similar or know somebody like this and could share some wisdom or advice about the whole thing. thanks so much.