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>two years ago I smoked weed for the first time in a year

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>two years ago I smoked weed for the first time in a year
>became paranoid, delusional, anxious, etc
>thought that the universe was a huge experiment being conducted by omnipotent 'scientists'
>two years later, I still find myself interpreting the world through the 'lens' of this delusion

Part of the problem is that this 'delusion' isn't blatantly delusional. Physicists, philosophers and other academics have been arguing that the universe *is* a simulation. I'm not sure if I heard about the idea/theory before or after the high, but it definitely doesn't help.

People have told me that the paranoia and delusions leave with the high, but I'm finding that there's more residual paranoia/delusions that I (and other people thought). I don't know. I'm afraid of what my residual delusion(s) and paranoia might mean for my mental health and sanity.
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>>16942948
Interesting results. I'll add this to my observation notes.
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>>16942948
Go to a therapist
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>>16942948
Yea, you can read it even on wiki that drugs can accelerate mind problems when you are weak willed or with hidden problems.

Stay clear of drugs.

>Physicists, philosophers and other academics
Stop reading such literature if you can't live with the information it gives you.
>I'm afraid
Stop being afraid anon and keep living your life.
>mean for my mental health and sanity
Until you develop depression and ask 4chan how to suicide, you don't have problem. Go eat a cookie or something.
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>>16942955
Thanks, Universe. Keep me posted on that sanity thing.
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>>16942955
The subject seems to be reacting. It took some time, but at last it's happening.
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Sounds like you're crazy. The weeds shouldn't be doing that to you
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basically just stop overthinking things and it will stop
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I am quite solipsist but I'm white, so I don't do drugs. Thing is, I'm afraid of death and was, during a part of my teenage, paranoid of being watched because I found myself disgusting.

Quit doing drugs and find a meaning for your life that isn't DUDE WEED LMAO, and maybe you'll go back to normal.
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Even if it's true, OP, what does it change? There's no reason not to keep living your life.
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Actually, Marijuana does have the tendency to exacerbate mental illness, and has been linked to schizophrenia. This could be a symptom of schizophrenia brought on by the marijuana smoking. If you're having legitimate delusions then you should always go see a professional ASAP.
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>>16943145
I want to clarify that what I meant by "brought on by the marijuana smoking" was that you were ALREADY susceptible to schizophrenia, and the marijuana simply brought it out, I guess. It didn't GIVE you schizophrenia, but yeah.
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>>16942948
Please wake up... Please...
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>>16942948
Doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me, as much as it sounds like an anxiety disorder, perhaps OCD. If you were schizo, you wouldn't be questioning your thought process, you would be convinced by it. But because you have a general understanding that something isn't right but you can't convince yourself otherwise leads me to believe that you are suffering from anxiety, not schizophrenia.

I have OCD btw.
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>>16942948
It is a paradigm of thought, definitely. Something that can be rationalised, and can be made to make sense.

Youve either really bought into this theory and its become your lens Just as you described, or you have mild schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is genetic and if you are prone marijuana can trigger it.

A doctor wouldnt be a bad idea.
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>>16943209
Not so. Schizophrenics are plenty aware of their illness and delusions.
They just appear so real to them they cant deny their existance despite knowing better.

Also my sister has OCD as well.
Im curious about the form of yours if you care to share?

Her rituals involve making sure the gas is off to stoves in the house and her doors are locked.

When away she fears her house exploded or is being robbed.

Before she fell ill she got a bachelor in clinical psychology, too. Go figure.
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>>16943230
Well I've talked to my therapist a few times before, and she usually doesn't seem very concerned (nor does she spend much time on the subject).

She has mentioned that I may have mild OCD (due to mildly compulsive hand washing), like >>16943209 said.

One way of explaining the delusion is by comparing it to a one-night-stand. I could intensely feel the delusion for a night (when I was high). It was real, convincing, and overwhelming. After "she" (the high) left, I could still remember her. While I was with her, we didn't just have metaphorical sex, I learned a lot about her and how she thought. I guess you could say that the high was the sex and the delusion was her venting this distorted delusion.

The important thing to remember is that I could strongly FEEL the "scientists" observing and analyzing me. It wasn't just an abstract observation. For example, we (including me) can think about the "brain in a vat" idea and all understand how and why it's possible, but we don't FEEL the possibility. We just observe it. Learning about the "brain in a vat," as far as I can tell, is akin to reading a person's Wikipedia page. A delusion like mine that's somewhat related to the brain in a vat is like having an intense, one-night relationship with someone.

Nowadays, it's sort of like a weird relationship. I like the girl (weed), but she does weird/fun shit to my mind. I sometimes put myself in her shoes by accident because of how well I understand her, which of course can be unsettling.

Let me know if this makes zero sense, one sense, or two sense. While all of this can be distressing, it can still be fun to think about when I take a step back.
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>>16942948

Even if this is a huge experiment...does it matter?
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>>16943239
Started when I was a child. Had thoughts in my head that told me somebody close, like a family member or friend, would die if I didn't count a certain number of times on my fingers. Usually obsessed with even numbers. That was when i was 9 or 10.

It was always there but very subtle. Was never diagnosed. Until one day, during winter break at college, I was looking at some of that CFNM porn, where girls are going wild at strip clubs sucking off strippers. In the middle of beating off, I began to think "am I getting turned on by this because of the slutty women or because of the guys' dicks?" Boom. Became consumed by unbelievable fear that I was turning gay. I could not even look at a newstand magazine with handsome guy on the cover without fearing I was going to be gay from looking at handsome men. Finally, I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD, specifically HOCD, purely obsessive.

Although the symptoms have died down greatly, I still suffer some of the long lasting effects from the encounter, namely fear of having sex. It consumes me sometimes but I remain highly functional. Frequenting the gym, eating right, taking St. Johns Wart, and maintaining a consistent schedule all help minimize the symptoms.
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>>16943741
Sorry, St Johns Wort*
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>>16942948
You sure your dealer didn't lace it with LSD or something
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>>16943751
Being that I have OCD and have indulged in pot many times, I can tell you that without a doubt, I had my share of paranoia while being high.

Pot is definitely not something I recommend to people with anxiety disorders.
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Smoked weed for like a year straight when I was in high school, no problems what so ever. As soon as high school finished I sort of stopped doing it as much. Every time I did it I was sort of getting what you described going on, still would do it occasionally. Then the other week I was pretty drunk, went home to a mates house, had a joint, some bedtime cones and was honestly sent to another fucking world. Mind was racing, head was spinning like fuck, was so fucking tired, a mixture of so many different feelings literally made me feel like trapped, sick, just really fucking weird.

Since then haven't touched any weed, haven't even been a fan of drinking lately. Feel like my life has changed some how, don't know how or when but it just has.
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If you're under a lot of stress cannabis fucks you up. I enjoyed it for two years but after moving to a new city all it does for me is give me the spins. Same with alcohol. I guess these substances excacerbate the anxieties. Im talking to a therapist at the moment.
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>>16943751
why the fuck would anyone lace weed with lsd. and is lsd even smokeable ? i really doubt that.
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>>16942948
>I smoke pot and now I'm Christian
>help

Think you go to church to cure that.
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