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>Have an asian gf for 5 years
>met her while studying abroad
>her parents run a factory in colombia
>realize only way to be with her is to actually follow her to colombia after im done with college
>go there
>live with her family
>things get out of control
>first time we are subject to work stress, responsibilities, etc
>have to see her every day, all day
>things strt getting out of control
>massive fight breaks out
>family witnesses it
>pretty much asked to leave by her and her sister
>father bro understands its our problem
>she travels back to asian country for chinese new year
>hope everything is all right when she comes back
>its worse
>i panic
>i beg for things to be different, mess up by humiliating myself
>cry
>she is more stubborn every day
>i pressure her every day
>eventually breaks up with me, says we are done for good
>ask her to give me a month off work to get over her and the situation.
>she cries and begs me not to forget her so quickly
>feel better about myself, even tho she didnt ask me to stay or get back together
>on the day i travelled got in a fight by text messaging
>arrived home to one last message by her
>reply back but she hasn't replied
>it's been 3 weeks of no contact
I really don't want to lose her, I got into the NC rule may counselors talk about, currently day 17th. But she hasn't reached out, except by a profile picture she put in whatsapp which I assume was directed at me.
I believe there is one guy chasing her, which makes me even more inscure.
I'm home now, but will have to see her in about 3 weeks, because we work together. What to expect, what to do, any advice appreciated.
I'm desperately trying to find solace.
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bumping
I've read every article on gf recovery, get ex back etc
i don't want to look desperate or needy, but i can't stop beating myself up for not being able to control my emotions.
Are there any self help books or articles any of you can recommend?
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Dude, it is over. You are being pathetic. Acknowledge this, talk about it with wise ppl you know irl or maybe even a therapist. You are not the first and also not the last to be in this situation but man up, accept the reality and leave her alone. Move on.
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>>16942142
Except for the travel to Colombia, yours is a simple story. You fell for a girl, but a lot of time spent with her showed that the two of you were not as compatible as you hoped.
Exactly the same thing could have happened with a girl from your home town or school. And you would be unhappy that it didn't work out, but on one level grateful that you discovered that quickly and not after years of marriage.
The same is true here. There is nothing there to recapture. The romance is over. Regret it, learn not to be so impetuous, and move on.
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>>16942172
So you guys are telling me to just move on after a five year relationship even when I do want to be with her? Simple as that?
Can women really move on so quickly?
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>>16942142
Dude.
It's really easy to have relationships and love someone when you're young, you don't have many responsibilities and you have to be together just few hours a day/few days a week.
If when you start to have a real relationship, living together, dealing with her all day and every day, have to be around her even when you're stressed or frustrated things get "out of control", you're not meant to be together.
I get you love her, really, but love isn't the most important thing in a relationship.
Fulfilling each other needs, being able to communicate, wanting the same things, making each other happy is what counts most. You don't have that.
Move on.
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>>16942175
>Can women really move on so quickly?
Sounds like she's been working on moving on for a long time, bro. And you've been fighting her.
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Gotta say, those who replied are giving you good advice. I know it's hard, but listen to them. You'll save yourself so much trouble and wasted time. I wish I had listened way back when....13 years of wasted hell.
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>>16942175
You can move on as quickly as you want to.
You don't want to, so you haven't.
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