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I don't like sex because I haven't had a partner I

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I don't like sex because I haven't had a partner I could love and trust and I can't get a boyfriend because I don't put out.

I am deeply lonely and this entire arrangement is really upsetting and causes pointless distress in my life.

wat do.
>>
>>16942019
>I don't like sex because I haven't had a partner I could love and trust

do you masturbate?


>I can't get a boyfriend because I don't put out.
This sounds backward. Do you let boyfriend candidates know up front that you won't put out? Because you don't love and trust them?

Or do you get into relationships with people you don't love and trust and then they leave because you won't put out?

There's usually a phase in every relationship between meeting and coming to love and trust that person that doesn't involve sex. Are you only talking to boys that expect to skip that part?
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>>16942039
I try to masturbate every few weeks but I lose interest within the first 10 seconds usually.

I try to meet people but every time there's a chance I'll be left alone with a guy I get scared and cancel everything.

What kind of guys date girls that they don't expect to give it up?
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>>16942048
>What kind of guys date girls that they don't expect to give it up?

It's a matter of time. Girls who permanently won't give it up? You're limited to guys who have lost their junk in an accident.

Beyond that, there are guys who will happily date/hang out with you until marriage without sex, over the course of months or years. And there are guys who will want it in the first week.

Your best bet for the "wait for marriage" guy would be a religious dude, as far as I know.
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>>16942048
Lonely and desperate guys.
Like me!

If you go on a dating site and ignore the 500 guys who just want to have sex with you, you'll probably find 100 guys who want a relationship.
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>>16942048
>I try to masturbate every few weeks but I lose interest within the first 10 seconds usually.

Do you feel bad about it, or are you just not finding that it feels good?

If the latter, I highly recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand (they rebranded it as the Magic Wand Original). Make sure you don't get a knockoff.
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>>16942069
>wait for marriage
I'm not a virgin and I don't think I'm looking for that kind of commitment. I just want someone to love, not someone to calculate income taxes with.

>>16942070
But the ones on dating sites are damaged. That's why they're on dating sites.

>>16942074
How is it supposed to feel? What constitutes as good?
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>>16942079
>I'm lonely
>but I don't want THOSE guys

That's not how it works, cupcake.

The chance of some attractive, well-rounded guy loving you for who you are and not expecting sex sweeping you off your feet is close to 0.

Either lower your standards or do what the other anon is suggesting and get a dildo.
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>>16942079
I was describing two extremes. There are guys that fit into every timeframe on the spectrum. If a guy wants to fuck you before you trust him he's a jerk.

>How is it supposed to feel? What constitutes as good?

Just clarifying, you've never masturbated to orgasm before? It's supposed to feel great.
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>>16942079
Good is if you can make yourself cum.

Have you had a bad sexual experience in the past? Or are you from a strict religious background. You sound repressed to me.
Men will wait a while for the right woman but sex is an important part of the relationship for closeness and all that.
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>>16942079
You're too judgmental regarding online dating.
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>>16942092
So I should just settle for the psycho ones? One that'll hit me, rape me, throw fits of rage, leak all my personal information online if we break up, given that he won't kill me first?

I don't want sex. I want literally everything else that constitutes a relationship other than that.

>>16942095
I don't think I'm capable of having one.

Some people just don't. Like those people who never learn to whistle.

>>16942101
We didn't have a religion at home. I've never been raped, I've tried to get used to the way sex feels but it just always feels bad.

I know the sex is important, that's why this is a problem.
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>>16942122
>Some people just don't. Like those people who never learn to whistle.

No one ever learned to whistle trying once a week and giving up after 10 seconds.

>I don't want sex. I want literally everything else that constitutes a relationship other than that.

Wait, so do you not want sex unless it's with a guy you trust and love, or do you not want sex period?

You should really lock yourself in a quiet room, read some erotic fiction, and give your pussy a solid half an hour with a Hitachi Magic Wand. If that doesn't do anything for you check back in with us.
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>>16942122
>So I should just settle for the psycho ones? One that'll hit me, rape me, throw fits of rage, leak all my personal information online if we break up, given that he won't kill me first?

Yes because a guy is either perfect or a complete psychopath.

Just like how every single person on dating sites is damaged.
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>>16942137
>Wait, so do you not want sex unless it's with a guy you trust and love, or do you not want sex period?
I can't tell the difference.

So I have to pay 50 plus shipping/travel to find out if I'm capable of sex or not?
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>>16942144
I'm sorry but gut instincts are usually right. If I get a bad vibe from a person, I don't stick around to see if I was right or not. Women who do that tend to get murdered.

I'm not looking for some picture perfect 6 foot tall mr. universe, just a guy who doesn't give me the creeps.

I'm sorry if that offends you personally.
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>>16942019
There are two equally valid responses to your problem, and only you can decide which is better for you.

1. Hold on to your dreams and standards. Someone WILL eventually come along you can feel comfortable enough with to be able to enjoy sex as an expression of intimacy and trust.

2. Distinguish in your mind between meaningful sex and what might be called recreational sex. Accept that in some situations sex in a less-than-wholly-romantic context can still be pleasurable and meet a physical and emotional need. Many can do this, some can not.

There is no SHOULD to either of these. The first is ideal, but will probably involve a lot of waiting for the right guy to come along. The second avoids frustration but means less-than-ideal experiences.
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>>16942157
1. How do I ever meet someone if I'm too scared to go into situations that lead to sex?

2. How do you stop caring about sex?

I've been thinking of learning to disassociate on demand so I could just zone out and be far away form there when it happens, but I guess guys don't like it if you look bored.
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>>16942148
>Women who do that tend to get murdered
Do you live in fucking somalia? From the OP I thought you might just need some reassurance, but from your followup posts it is apparent you are just a dumb bitch
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>>16942179
I'm sorry I don't want to date men who make me feel unsafe. I'm sorry that I upset you, though I don't understand what I did.

I don't know what you want me to say.
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>>16942192
the murder rate in the US is 5 per 100,000

And you think you are so much better then those "damaged" guys on online dating sites while you complain about how you cant orgasm and are totally untrusting? pull your head out of your ass
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>>16942148
It's not that this offends me personally, but your "gut instinct" is clearly irrational paranoid behavior that is destructive and having a severe impact on your life, and is responsible for you making this thread in the first place. Your inflated sense of stranger-danger is what's preventing you from trusting others - it's not the entirety of the male gender that's at fault; the problem lies within you. Obviously you shouldn't put yourself in dangerous situations - but you don't have a good sense of what is and is not dangerous.

Because of this, you avoid/sabotage your chances, and the result is loneliness and unhappiness.

so wat do? Change your perspective a little.
>>
>>16942204
I also just don't want to get fucked by guys I don't want to date. I gain nothing from it.

I just need to figure out a way to make sex not hurt and pass faster.
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>>16942216
I don't quite understand your issue. Normally the dating process happens before you have sex - you meet someone, you hang out a bit and scope them out and then decide if you want to date them/fuck them. How are you getting fucked by guys you don't want to date? How is this occurring?
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>>16942145

lol. It doesn't have to be that one, it's just the best one out there.

Your whistle analogy wasn't bad. No one can whistle at first. You have to learn. It takes work. Everyone with lips can learn to whistle, but few people spend the 20 or so hours it takes to learn, because it's not that important.

Sex, on the other hand, is an extremely important interpersonal skill. It also takes a little work. And you can do it. If you have a pussy and a clitoris you are capable.

You stand to benefit tremendously - both from the physical satisfaction of good sex, but also indirectly from having a satisfied male partner. 99.9999% of all normal healthy males are going to want to have sex with you at some point if they are your boyfriend. So it really does make sense that you should put a little work into learning to enjoy sexual activity.

You don't just sound ambivalent about sex, you kind of sound averse to it. Are you? Do you have some shit to work through?
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>>16942192
U were abused stop lying. To us AND to yourself. If you do that and start working on yourself and your personality you'll be able to maintain a relationship. No chance to do that sooner than this.
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>>16942019
I've seen problems, like yours, play out

>Case study
>Girl I knew was devout Christian who would not sex before marriage.
>Canadian
>Outgoing
>Attractive (7 to 8 /10)
>Somewhere 18-20 yrs old at the time.
>She went through a small number of relationships in which she invested herself and got poor returns.
>She got so upset and frustrated she shaved her long (waist-length) beautiful hair off.
>bald and suicidal
>She used the time to focus on herself and become a better person
>Did hipster volunteer work outdoors (nature stuff)
>Expanded her circle of friends.
>Found another nice christian boy
>Then she put out
>They got married and are living happily to this day (about 8 years later I reckon).

For you, I figure the important things to take from this is:
Focus on you; see a psychologist or counselor (they're cheap)
Expand your circle of friends and aquaintances because you haven't found Mr. Right yet with the ones you got.
Put out.
>>
>>16942019
Op, I'm just like you word for word. I think the only way to have your answer is to try finding someone you trust and see what happens after that. That's what I'm trying.

If you're meeting someone you don't know, there are ways to greatly reduce your chances of being harmed. I'm very paranoid and have managed it so far. Meet in a public place, don't get in his car, don't take open drinks from him, do a background check if you have his name (can be done with just his phone number too), bring pepper spray, turn on location tracking on your phone and let a friend or relative track you on your date.

There are people who seem creepy on online sites, but I've found that there are also normal people with normal problems. The thing to do is CHOOSE them for yourself. Go to them first, rather than picking someone who spoke to you first. You can be in control. You can also control when/if anything you're uncomfortable with happens.

For me, I don't meet with anyone if they mentioned sex at all in their messages to me. I don't meet them again if they mention it at all on the first date. That's drastic, but it makes me more comfortable. You can communicate your fears. If they don't react well, move on. I'm also in therapy and feel better getting a second opinion about my fears. It's a long process but hopefully worth it. I wish I could tell you the outcome, but I don't know yet. It just seems logical to try.
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>>16942484
Holy FUCK where are you women finding your men? Are you just picking through a bunch of randoms off craigslist?
>>
OP, it sounds like you're asexual. Try finding an asexual dude.
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>>16942541
I'm not paranoid for no reason. My male neighbor broke into my house with a hatchet while I was alone. I accidentally went on a date with a felon that I met at a meetup. He gave me a fake name, so the background check turned up nothing. I also met a stalker from a professional industry meeting. You start to get the idea that men are monsters
>>
>>16942122
I'm a nice, normal guy. Sometimes I have to settle for psychos like you when I can't find a 10/10 bombshell. It works both ways.
>>
>>16942243
It isn't occurring anymore. I need to be way drunk to go through with sex and I can't stomach being that drunk anymore.

>>16942251
I have a small vibrator, and I've tried to try and learn to use it but I just give up withing the first 10 seconds. It's boring and unpleasant and I get too concerned with people hearing that thing.

I hate sex.

Imagine if someone made you play monopoly every time you met. You don't like it at all, it's so boring that you could scream, but this person loves it so much. You want to hang out with them but every time you want to make plans to ask them out, your first thought is always "he'll just make me play monopoly again" and you're always 100% right.

That, or getting stabbed. And then having the guy who stabbed you act insulted that you weren't as enthusiastic about getting stabbed as he was stabbing you.

Does that count as shit?

>>16942369
I'm seeing a councelor about something else right now. She feels like the problem is solved now that I'm not trying to date anymore, and if I tried to ask her help, she would start figuring out how to eradicate my pesky need to be loved.

None of my friends have any other friends. How do I meet new people?

>>16942484
This is all solid advice but I'm still frustrated to tears.

How am I supposed to find someone to trust when you can't trust anyone?

>>16942541
You have no idea what it's like to be a girl, do you?
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>>16942625
>I hate sex.

First, I believe this is a separate problem from your inability to meet a good guy. But it's the problem I'm interested in.

Guys that want to play monopoly on the first date and every date thereafter are assholes, sure enough.

> I just give up withing the first 10 seconds. It's boring and unpleasant and I get too concerned with people hearing that thing.
>getting stabbed. And then having the guy who stabbed you act insulted that you weren't as enthusiastic about getting stabbed as he was stabbing you

You have an extremely negative view of sex. I can't help you work through that, but unless you think you can find a guy who will be happy and satisfied in a permanently sexless relationship (and don't kid yourself, you cant), you need to take an interest in working through it. Like with a counselor or psychologist or some older happily married woman that you can trust to discuss these things.
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>>16942698
Also, it's not just about the guy. Sexual intimacy with someone you love and trust is incredibly fulfilling and satisfying for you, too. You're just writing that off. You shouldn't.
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>>16942625
>You have no idea what it's like to be a girl, do you?

Clearly. My condolences.
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>>16942019
seek medical attention, physiological and/or psychological
it is not natural for a species that relies on sexual reproduction to dislike or avoid sex
>>
>>16942625
>That, or getting stabbed. And then having the guy who stabbed you act insulted that you weren't as enthusiastic about getting stabbed as he was stabbing you.

It sounds like you had some really bad sexual experiences OP. You shouldn't give up on sex, though, you should get counseling.
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>>16942622

So you have to imagine that every guy is out to rape your sexy little tush? That sounds really horrible.

And hot.
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>>16942625
>How am I supposed to find someone to trust when you can't trust anyone?
I think it helps to be friends first. That's really only possible in certain situations that aren't expressly meant for dating, like school, work, or hobbies. That way you can observe how the person behaves in everyday life. People are more accountable at school or work especially, because they'll be held responsible by everyone who knows them there if they do something wrong. I'm sorry I don't have better ideas. Again, maybe a therapist can help you gauge whether the person you're seeing is safe or not.

>>16942820
That's what's weird- I'm not sexy! I look more like an adolescent. I wonder if men target me for looking easy to take advantage of or something. But it happens to so many other women, too, so idk.
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>>16942845
>I'm not sexy!

You might be surprised. Women are generally clueless about their own sexiness.

It's hot to think of you walking into a room full of wolves and knowing that they are all aching to dig their teeth into you. That tension...mmmmm.
>>
>>16942866
I don't know whether you're making a joke, flirting, or trying to start a fight, but I keep laughing. Your post reminds me of http://youtu.be/-gB_iOGVIvw
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>>16942048
If you're "waiting till marriage" not putting out, that will greatly reduce your dating pool. If you're "waiting for the right guy," I could live with that, as I'm waiting for the "right girl" and to be financially stable to be able to deal with a possible pregnancy.

The guy for you is out there. It's just a matter of meeting him.
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>>16942866
none of those, really. I'm not staring at every girl I meet and thinking about raping her. But I do think about that with the girls in front of me and around me on occasion. It's just somehow hot to know that you are consciously aware of those same possibilities.
>>
I'm like you OP (in a sense) I can't really have enjoyable sex unless I have feelings for the girl. Were you abused at some point? Im sorry if you already said so I read about half the thread
>>
Op what's the first letter of you're name? You sound a lot like someone I know...
>>
>>16942019

This is actually WAYY more common than our over-sexualized culture would lead you to believe.

Sex is perfectly natural, you just have fear. Find a man that can be gentle with you, and can love you.

Sex will be a natural expression between you two, it will feel right.
>>
>>16942148
You sound like you are way too paranoid of other human beings if you are saying someone is 'odd' they are murderers.
>>
My girlfriend doesn't like sex either, in the early stages I kept thinking it would get better the older we got but 5 years later and we have sex maybe once a year? If you're in love a guy will still be with you, but it does some serious fucking damage to his self esteem
>>
>>16943380
Seriously that name op. If you're who I think you are that is some interesting info
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>>16943391
This. Also OP you sound like me about fifteen years and three therapists ago. You have a lot of either/or, black-and-white thinking going on. It's not that uncommon, you're not crazy, it's just that your mind is kinda getting in its own way.

I would not say that your mistrust of men is entirely without merit. It's true that there are shitty abusive people out there, both men and women, and they don't wear signs. And you're right to go with your gut - if you have a bad feeling about a situation, don't ignore it.

But I also get the feeling that your experiences have left you with a woefully incomplete picture of how men are, and how people are in general. And the kind of experiences that could potentially expand your perspective are the ones you're afraid of. And I would recommend taking a good look at your fear and seeing where it's coming from, and learning to distinguish between an actual creeped-out "there is something off about this person or situation" feeling and an "I don't want to be alone with any guy because what if he's an axe murderer" feeling.

You have a choice to either continue taking the safe road and be alone, or start to very gradually take some tiny risks. Yes, if you date a guy, you have a small chance of ending up buried in someone's yard. You also have a HUGE chance of having a bunch of normal, sometimes boring, sometimes very rewarding, dating experiences. It's no different from the risk you take getting behind the wheel of a car (could get in a crash and die), taking a new prescription, or eating a new food (could have an allergic reaction and die).

Anyway I hope I'm not projecting too much. Feel free to ignore anything I've said that doesn't apply to you. But if it does apply, please at least think about it. And if you do decide to take risks, remember, tiny ones first, then work your way up. Also, all this stuff can be done on your own, but honestly it's much easier with a therapist or spiritual advisor.
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>>16943532
>And the kind of experiences that could potentially expand your perspective are the ones you're afraid of.
Sorry to make a long post even longer, but I worded this poorly. By
>the ones you're afraid of
I meant
>the ones you're missing out on due to your efforts to avoid bad shit happening to you
I didn't mean to imply that getting axe murdered would broaden your perspective lol
>>
Getting guys is not about having sex with them, that normally comes after having at least a few dates (for some people more).

That being said, I still have no idea how to get a normal good relationship going.
>>
>>16942251
>Your whistle analogy wasn't bad. No one can whistle at first. You have to learn. It takes work. Everyone with lips can learn to whistle, but few people spend the 20 or so hours it takes to learn, because it's not that important.
>Not even sure if he whistles correctly
>Is afraid he'll feel this way about sex, after reading that post
>>
>>16942759
>it is not natural for a species that relies on sexual reproduction to dislike or avoid sex
I thought that was what the whole "men run faster than women" thing was for.

>>16942845
The only males in my social circles are my friends' boyfriends, and a handful of 14-16-year old little brothers I'm neither attracted to nor willing to molest.

>>16943474
E.

>>16943532
Where do I find a safe guy?

How do I know how sexual attraction is supposed to work? Guys find any girl attractive as long as she's 16-25, normal BMI range and has all her teeth and both her eyes.

I don't feel attracted to most guys just because they have nothing wrong with them. Virtually none of them feel worth the risk, real or imagined.
>>
>>16943978
Whoa. I think you might be her
>>
>>16942622
>My male neighbor broke into my house with a hatchet while I was alone. I accidentally went on a date with a felon that I met at a meetup. He gave me a fake name, so the background check turned up nothing. I also met a stalker from a professional industry meeting. You start to get the idea that men are monsters

Well that's called "bigotry", actually. I question whether these experiences weren't mostly in your reaction to the incidents.

Did your neighbor rape and maim you? No.
Did the "felon" commit a felony against you? No.
Did the stalker hurt you? No.

I get men are scary but we all know that women are all lying sluts that pretend to be upset to get attention and money from men. And while that's not true you should now understand what it's like to be at the other end of this bigoted bullshit.
>>
>>16944031
The matter with men is that they seem to consider themselves an uniform mass instead of individuals.

If a man hears someone say "a man did this", what he hears is "YOU did this", and his first reaction is "that's nonsense, I wouldn't do that", and since he wouldn't do that, surely the man accused must be innocent.

This whole Not All Men nonsense wasn't about men literally defending rapists. It's about men not being to tell themselves apart from rapists.
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>>16943763
I whistle like I sold my soul for it and I fuck just as well. And although I've never raped, I love it when my girlfriend tries to fight me off her while I work my dick inside her, so I bet I would be good at that too.

....m'lady
>>
>>16944052
It's almost like we're having a discussion about an OP who cannot trust ANY MAN WHATSOEVER because of these individuals, you fucking retard. That's exactly my fucking point

my ex used to make these absurdly irrational arguments too

>I bet you read that last sentence and thought "what the fuck, I don't do that" and didn't even think about how you just heard "someone did this" and assumed it was about you. Don't pretend anecdotes aren't implicitly telling a broader story, you disingenuous fuck
>>
>>16943978
you really need to understand just because you've had some bad experiences with guys, good ones and "safe" ones aren't rare. you have been unlucky in the past but that shouldn't give you conclusions. Also, where do you live, that's a big factor as well.
>>
>>16944107
How do I find one and how do I make myself attracted to him?
>>
>>16944118
going outside and talking to people is a good way. or even talking online and meeting can also work (though it would be good to meet in public for those). idk about the attraction though, just relax and go into it with a good mentality
>>
>>16944147
I've known like 3 guys in my entire life that I've been genuinely attracted to. A boy who turned me down in middle school, a boy who turned me down in high school, and my best friend's boyfriend.

These three are the only proof I have that I'm not a lesbian. That, and being even less attracted to women than I am to men.

How do I broaden the range of what I find attractive?
>>
>>16944198
lower standards, try google
>>
>>16944198
do you live in Canada?
>>
I came into this thread because OPs first post reminded me of myself. But honestly OP you sound like a fucking difficult person ignoring advice and responding negatively... if you're gonna reduce your dating pool that much you might not wanna reduce your likability as well.
>>
>>16944203
How do I do that?

I tried to just date someone I wasn't into, once, hoping I'd get used to it and learn to love him. It didn't work.

>>16944211
No.

>>16944224
What advice have I ignored? How do I respond in a manner that's not "ignoring"? I've been accused of this before and I don't understand what the appropriate response is.

How do I be more likeable?
>>
>>16944256
well it looks like you're going to just have to keep trying to find that special someone, it could take years or you'll meet him tomorrow. that's life, it's no fair deal with it
>>
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Women's sexuality is so fucking weird and complicated, holy shit.

No offense, girls.

>Girl
>I wasn't feeling it that day
>I've never masturbated before and I don't know how
>I had an argument last Tuesday
>I missed my art class with Tina
>It's the winter solstice
>U.S.-North Korean relations are at an all-time high

>Guy
>Me man
>Me horny
>Me touch myself
>Me cum
>>
>>16944256
maybe you should move there, the guys are supposed to be nicer
>>
You've watched too many disney movies, OP.
You are not a special princess, nobody 'deserves' to find their soulmate.

You sound awkward as hell, you don't want commitment, you just want a father figure to cuddle and keep you company, and is too much of a gentlesir to ever make a move.

You won't work through your issues by relying on the goodness of a hypothetical man. Go to a therapist.
>>
>>16944283
My therapist doesn't like men, I don't want to get conditioned off a want to be loved.

How do I get okay with getting fucked?
>>
>>16944224
OP is trolling, see >>16944406

I'm asexual and struggled with feeling just like OP initially described but I never would be OK with "getting fucked," it turns my stomach just to write that. I finally found a guy who doesn't disgust me (he is intelligent and nice, which I find attractive in a non sexual way), and I can have sex with him and he enjoys it, which makes it alright for me and not objectionable at all. Just not pleasurable either, but that's fine. I enjoy making him happy because he's a sweet guy.

There's literally nothing wrong with being selective and saying no to people until you find someone who isn't completely repulsive. I wish someone had said that to me when I was younger so I hadn't traumatized myself by having sex with guys I wasn't attracted to at all.

Fucking "sex positive" redditors can fuck right off. There's nothing wrong with waiting as long as you don't get a complex about it, like if OP were serious
>>
>>16944031
You're right, it's not fair to lump men together the way I did in the last sentence. I was trying to illustrate how my seed of doubt grew. I think the majority of men are good, but not being able to discern which ones means I can't disregard my safety. I don't think that just because police got to me before the intruder got to me means I have no justification in being afraid. I'd probably want to be careful dating women too, if it was reversed.
>>
>>16944692
>wait

But being unhappy is unattractive too. How do I make life alone tolerable while I wait for the right guy?
>>
>>16944809
Get a hobby.
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>>16942048
theres actually a medical condition for this. something to do with a hormone imbalance killing interest in sex.

I suggest making an appointment with a doctor.
>>
OP

I'm a straight attractive male.

My advice is that you should broaden your friend circles and make male friends. Don't go in thinking about sex, but if you become close to a guy you can open the possibility of a relationship with him.

There are people like me out there who are also waiting for someone they can trust. If everyone you're meeting wants to fuck after the first or second date they can fuck off, there are guys who will wait like me. You just need to find them, and unfortunately we are all busy working towards careers in our youth unlike the reddit garbage. Try to go to where competent and hard working people are at, avoid yolo trash.
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>>16944823
I have hobbies. I write, I draw, I paint and I used to take singing lessons before my teacher moved back in with her abusive husband.
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>>16944833
Where do I find male friends?

Most at my workplace are middle-aged with kids my age.
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>>16944846
Age range?
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>>16944849
18-25? I'm 22, but not the kind that got married at 19 and has kids now. I'm barely out of mom's house at this point.
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>>16942019

Havent read through the replies.

But basically there are guys that are willing to wait and respect you. They are few and far apart but there are the select few.

I was sexually active before I met my ex. She was saving herself, we dated for over 2 years without sex, broke up when I had to move after university.

Dont bother for settling just for anyone. Keep yourself busy, hobbies and productive activities. Keep yourself happy, the right guy will come along. You will meet a few cunts on the way, but basically you just have to be upfront about it.
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>>16944862
I am busy, I have hobbies. Unfortunately I am capable of doing two or three things at a time, and can perfectly well worry about everyday matters, drive a car and feel the bitter sting of loneliness at the same time.

It never goes away.

Trying to busy myself too much doesn't help either. That only ends me up overwhelmed AND sad.
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>>16944856
That's funny, I'm 22 as well.

The thing is, I actually have a problem very similar to yours. I was looking for somewhere to find girls my age outside of clubs and bars, but even then there are plenty who don't fit our mold. The solution seems to be finding somewhere where the interactions are goal oriented. Cooking classes seem to be a good idea, something I'm looking into doing after I graduate during my year off. I also work at a research lab, and that's where I not only found plenty of female friends but also good, sensible male friends too. I've also heard good things about martial arts classes. Clubs and other such activities also seem promising, maybe a board game group who play dungeons and dragons?

Besides those two, I'm kind of lost.

Also look into the myers briggs test, it really helped me understand who I am, and others around me. It could just be inherent to your personality, and you're just around people that don't match with you.

I actually have to go to sleep soon, but if you want to keep talking you can hit me up on skype (Bunglebeetle). Maybe we can help each other.

If anyone else has a similar mentality (male or female) and wants to offer/receive advice I welcome you to add me.
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>>16944862
Also this

There are good men out there who will wait.
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>>16944870

Do friends not take the sting of loneliness away?

Im 21 and like I said I just went through a breakup and I feel lonely and shit, but I have just been keeping myself busy and been meeting new people. I guess one just needs to learn how to be comfortable with oneself.

Maybe try make new guy friends. Pick something up like a sport in your area, some sort of social club sport. Be it something strange like ultimate frisbee or kick boxing or even just a running club. Its just one way to meet decent people outside of night clubs whom are pretty much only looking for one thing.

If you want to talk about things I dont mind being somewhat of a penpal. Just hit me up with an email [email protected]
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>>16944882
The matter is, I do shift work, I don't know whether I'll be working from 6 to 2, 2 to 10 or 10 to 6 each week. It changes, makes regular weekly things impossible.

>>16944908
My friends are kind of more like "guy friends", we don't sit around drinking coffee and talking about our feelings, we do shit as a group. The group doesn't really have any other friends, so meeting new people (esp. men) is not an option.

I'd need someone that I can invest more in, as a person. Just hanging out one-on-one platonically is awkward.
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>>16942079
>But the ones on dating sites are damaged.
And you're not.


lel.
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>>16945087
I am 100% damaged, I can't even fuck.
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