Why be the norm

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My parents ruined me too, creative thinking always seems to somewhat taboo because its not seen as a guaranteed way to "succed (make pointless money) but nothing is anyway. I hate my life because creativity isn't encouraged. I wish I knew what to do, until then I will continue being depressed. If I never find out I will be the norm in a office job and still be depressed probably killing my self somewhere along the line.

>>16941735
>i want to just make things and spread my ideas
What do you make? Paintings? Sculpture?
What ideas? Philosophy?

>>16941750
im happy that you get what im trying to say MONEY is a means to a end not the main goal for me i just want to spread a idea that may only changed one or two people outlook on life

I tried to explain this to parents whore 24/7 workaholics and all i got was "dont be stupid and grow up" but im thinking that im still going to do what i want as they will lea
>>16941758
Painting
music
Art from things that are around me

>>16941761
Then compromise with them - get a trade cert that will make sure you can support yourself/a family and then pursue your art.

>>16941774
the thought of working a trade makes me feel sick i have shown that what i can do can make money not that i really want it to, i think they hate the idea of doing something different

>>16941779
>the thought of working a trade makes me feel sick
Why?

>>16941782
idk i just hate the thought of getting shoved into a trade, probably cause that's what my dad had happened to him and i dont want to turn into a representation of him.

thanks anon i think im figuring this out alot more easier to figure out after you vent

Parents typically want what they think is best for you and will attempt to guide you as best they can depending on their experience. Good old selfish genes wanting to ensure survival. They do have a point to some extent.

Thing is, what worked for them (creating a setup where they can rear children) isn't necessarily going to be what you want, it was what they wanted. It might not even work for you though because while it clearly was something important to them (otherwise you wouldn't exist or be having these problems) their experiences were formed in a past which no longer exists and might not actually be relevant. Good luck trying to explain that because that is just an age old fucking thing.

Some of the shit they might be pushing at you might actually be maladaptive for the modern world because they are in a different stage in life entirely.

Doesn't mean there aren't positives within this. Doesn't mean you can't learn things from them. Good luck basically deconstructing their entire value system by portraying this as a simplistic me vs them scenario. That'll never work.

Instead acknowledge their concerns as positive lessons. They are showing you their own form of love in their concern. They want what is best for you based on their standards of what is best in life. They need to accept that they need to let go a little in order for you to form an opinion of what is best in life for yourself. By trusting in you they show trust in their own supposedly superior values and decisions made while rearing you. That by picking a different path you aren't rejecting them or what they have done for you, or exposing them to risk or criticism for their life choices. They'll be a lot of insecurity within them at the idea of you growing up and making adult life choices because they'll be concerned it'll reflect upon them. You might be a scapegoat for their own frustrations and insecurities.

View them as complex people instead of simplistic characters. Work to positives.

Your parents have a point in that a solid trade will help you out. They are kind of ignoring the fact though that solid trades are in their death throes.

I don't know anyone who is a self employed trades person who is loaded apart from those that move into getting other people to do the work for them or those who are very lucky for a brief period on jobs.

Most trades I know are working for maintenance companies because they pull in a regular wage and they can pull the kind of bullshit that self employed people can only dream of.

Work your ass off trying to earn around hundred pounds a day while paying out all your own expenses wondering where the next job is going to come from? Ok, sometimes you'll win with a job and walk away with 250 a day, but good luck getting those every day. The reality is different. You've got to be skilled not only at your trade but also at running a business. Your income is capped at what work you can do unless you start to employ others. Why would anyone want to work for others?

Or earn 80 pounds a day 5 days a week every day of the year with holiday pay and sick pay and a company covering all your certificates, training and development, materials and transport? This isn't a bad deal which is why so many people are doing it.

Also the way things are going with modern systems, mass produced materials assembled off site and installed on site. Legislative requirements out the ass with expensive certification to work on various things and liabilities etc mean it is increasing difficult to start up on your own compared to large companies. This is because the industry favours large companies, it is basically sanctioned corruption.

Big jobs and projects are passed to large companies which offer warranties and insurance. Everyone is skimming the fat apart from the trade person who is becoming rapidly low valued and the job is becoming less labour and skill intensive anyway. It is like all jobs, labour is a cost they are trying to reduce.

>>16941789
You can do both. Find yourself something stable in the first place e.g. get a degree, choose a career. That kind of stability is important to do life. However, cultivate your ideas, work as hard on them as you would in other areas of your life and who knows what will come of them? This is by far the easiest route. Time is something that you have and a lot of it.

Anyway I could rant like this all day. My parents were the same growing up and I ended up being a self employed musician.

The issue has deep roots in that some people believe that money = happiness. This isn't always the case. It is what you do with your time and resources and you outlook that generally counts.

My parents are actually pretty chill now. I mean, I had to basically disown them because of all their bullshit and our relationship now is on more equal terms as a result, but I feel I understand where they were coming from at the time.

Also about a decade of conversation on the topic helped. They used to be awfully sheltered and single minded on topics, but they've not been able to keep it in the face of the modern world.

>Become a doctor, that is a good job.
Can you see how successive governments have dismantled the power of public sector jobs in order to force down wages and job security? Can you see how much student debt prevents you from actualising as a 'traditional' adult in your 20's and 30's? Do you see how many hours they work? Would you work those hours now bearing in mind the retirement age and the pensions on offer in return? Have you seen how housing costs have risen compared to wages and adjusted the purchase price of your own place for inflation and seen what a monumental task even trying to get a normal good old fashioned family life out of being a doctor is? Would you pick that at my age? It isn't as simple as it might seem. You might say that it is just an idealised perspective based on an old fashioned perspective of a world which doesn't exist in that capacity any more. We need a newer way of living which is more suited to the realities of the modern economy.