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>be me >can't hold conversations >eating lunch

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>be me
>can't hold conversations
>eating lunch with coworkers
>i don't say a thing
>overhear other coworkers talking
>laughing, making jokes and telling stories
>imagine myself going on a date (>tfw no gf) and just sitting there trying to think up of things to say
how do i have "fun" conversations, where myself and the people i'm with are laughing and enjoying themselves?

how do i become better at talking and making other people enjoy my company? keeping in mind that i'm boring and don't have any stories to tell
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>>16939910
>keeping in mind that i'm boring and don't have any stories to tell

By being not boring and thus having stories to tell.

You need hobbies. Find groups to be a part of. For adults outside of college, this can be in the form of professional networking groups for your profession/field, adult league sports, rpg/table top game gatherings, or just hanging out in bars to meet people. You basically need to get out more, meet more people, and do stuff as a result of meeting more people. Then you'll have stories to tell, and people to tell them to.
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>>16939910
All 4chan will give you is some vague bullshit. I've asked that question before both myself and 4chan, both came up with zilch.
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>>16939915
>or just hanging out in bars to meet people
how does this work? i go to a bar alone, drink alone and hope someone talks to me?
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>>16939920
No, you take some initiative and talk to the people around you. If they're not engaged in a conversation with someone else, you have all the right in the world to comment on something of relevance and spark a conversation with them.
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>>16939920
This is usually the point where anons advice ends cos they don't know.
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>>16939923
This but bars seem difficult (I'm in the same situation as OP)
Finding clubs that revolve around your interests seem better, because even if you have nothing personally in common you can keep the convo alive with info about what you do
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Dat ass
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>>16939917
Vague questions will render only vague answers.

>16939910
If you don't know anything (which I wonder how can you use 4chan since you need to know a lot of stuff even to type) you can always:
>ask them for more details
Really anon? I didn't know you can / do / must...
>pretend to be interested
What do you mean *****? I though it was like *****.
How was it when...
>oppose their ideas.
I don't think you are telling us whole truth. What about the other thing?
>>
>>16939920
>Go to the bar alone
If it's your only option, yes. But obviously another person would be preferred, a good wingman can make the night.
>Hope someone talks to me
Almost never should you do this. Chime into a conversation that you can relate to, or you find funny. Hopefully this sparks something more. Don't just sit there not doing or saying anything, that's just sad.
>>
>>16939917
Well the shit requires you to have a fuckin life. If all you do is vidja and beat off then you dont have shit to offer anyone. Cause thats all that people look for is "what can you do for me". And if you have nothing to offer then your not of use to anyones time.

Asking for help on how to be sociable is to ask for a life and aint no one gonna give that to you.
>>
> how do i have "fun" conversations, where myself and the people i'm with are laughing and enjoying themselves?

I will tell you the answer if you tell me where these photographs come from.
>>
Practice! Practice practice practice practice practice.

Wherever you are, see the person near you and speak to them.
>checkout line at grocery store
>person wearing a nice jacket
>human being at bus stop

I'm not talking long conversations, just speaking to people. Hi. How are you? Busy today? Nice shirt. It's a good colour on you.

The more you speak to people, the more comfortable you get, the less of a weirdo you are....
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>>16939948
> Asking for help on how to be sociable is to ask for a life and aint no one gonna give that to you

It's literally the core issue behind most of the threads on /adv/, even the NEET, no gf and the motivation threads.

If this issue could be solved most of the threads on /adv/ would disappear.
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>>16939910
I'd say find other geeks/anime buffs but no idea where to look. Meeting up with possible psychos and chrischans sounds like a bad idea.
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>>16940080
Meeting people from forums I mean.
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>>16939948
>Well the shit requires you to have a fuckin life.
how do i get a life with no friends? most of people's stories involve doing things with friends.

a lot involve parties too.
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>>16940138
Like I said 4chan sucks at giving useful advice.
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>>16939953
tell me the answer i can tell you, as this anon says >>16940161, i don't know if 4chan can deliver the advice i need ;^)
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>>16940138
You dont need friends. Hell you dont need anyone to live.
>but the parties
I get that invited to that bullshit from those 20 somethings at work. The hells so special about parties? Go do shit that makes you look at fucking parties like a waste of time because none of those Chads have done nothing but drink and fuck while one time you were bored out of your mind so you drove to Pittsburgh for the sake of saying youve fucking seen it. It gets late and you get lost as a mother fuck cause half the cities on the side of a fucking mountian.

You stop at a store to ask directions and they aint no help cause the durka clerk is to busy watchin the 4 niggas incase they steal shit. On your way out random bum asks for change with a near empty longneck in his hand. Completly ignore him and he throws bottle at you, bounces off shoulder and hits niggas windshield. Cracks it. They notice. Come barreling outside. Theres no explaining since bum took off as soon as bottle left his hand.

Long story short you have a car chase though Pittsburgh tunnels and you become good at driving in the hills, and hinding your car and sleeping in it until they get tired of looking for you.

All because you visited Pittsburgh for no damn reason.

Also got a story of getting lost on foot through okinawa but thats cause military.

Life.
>>
>>16940209
>I get that invited to that bullshit from those 20 somethings at work. The hells so special about parties?
things usually happen. and "crazy parties" are stories. the popular guys at work, the ones that are liked by the qt coworkers, talk about parties all the time.

they are usually more eventful than taking a trip to Pittsburgh, and less dangerous sounding

>Go do shit that makes you look at fucking parties like a waste of time
i'd like to do shit that makes me look at parties like a waste of time.
instead of spending a few hours at a party. if i spent 2 hours driving in a random direction and then turning back, how would that be a better use of my time?
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>>16940241
>things usually happen. and "crazy parties" are stories.

Ooooh like what. Lemme guess. Somebody gets arrested, someone has drama with their old lady and in response becomes THAT guy cause "fuck bitches brah" or someone burns something they shouldnt of
>dude that was my lawn chair
Thrilling

>2 hours driving in a random direction and then turning back, how would that be a better use of my time?
Plenty of times ive done that. Just so happens that one time that happened and im using that as an example. Scared shitless at the time but funny as hell now. And there are times the story didnt end well and i got my ass beat, and then there are times nothing at all happened but waste gas blarred tunes and burned half a pack of smokes.

You want to be liked? You want to be interesting? Go do shit thats more or differnt than fucking drinking. Cause if your just a guy who parties and works then your just about fucking useless the older you get.
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>>16940281
>You want to be liked? You want to be interesting? Go do shit thats more or differnt than fucking drinking. Cause if your just a guy who parties and works then your just about fucking useless the older you get.
what things can i do? if i traveled to a random city, what would i do? your example of going into a store and getting chased seems rare

>And there are times the story didnt end well and i got my ass beat
this does not interest me either
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>>16939956
>just speaking to people. Hi. How are you? Busy today? Nice shirt. It's a good colour on you.
is it really okay to say these things to people you don't know?
no one has ever come up to me and said "hi, how are you?"
a homeless guy and a starbucks barista have commented on a jacket i have.. but maybe they just wanted me to give them money

this whole talking to strangers thing is a little off-putting
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>>16940209

Pittsburgh fag here. You must have been in some rough ass area. You get lost in the Hill district or something? Thats like getting lost in Mogadishu. Don't do that either, neither are probably good ideas.

You from Cleveland?
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>>16939910
So is that picture from a set, or is it just a stock image of some sexy business women? Sauce?
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>>16940546
This is just a personal way I sorta got over it, but every time I ride an Uber or whatever service I try and make small talk with the driver. Pretty easy because you can ask about how they're doing, what they do other than uber, and sort of bounce back and forth.. And most of the drivers I meet are bored af and are pretty open for small chats...

And if you bomb it you'll never see them again so no real pressure.
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>>16940868
thanks, i have never used uber before. i don't go out much tbqh. is there another type of person i can try on? there are cashiers, but i might see them again if i mess up
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just b urself
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>>16939956
bump
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>>16939917
Because life is complex/random, you can't instruct OP on how to get a stories like they are some MMRPG quests.
All we know is that we do things in life and interesting stuff happens.
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>>16940546
If you have no hobbies and no intrest and wanna meet people why jot join the fucking peace core or volunteer at a homeless shelter or something ?
If you want something to talk about then talk about what you do when your not at work ...
I talk about hobbies / shit i think is interesting .. i sub to a few peer review journals aand bullshit like that mostly medical and theoretical stuff..
>but they have parties....
Wrll if you DID something like game / watch tv / movies or built models .. anything, if the qt's dont notice you go find a group of people that will ...
Volunteers are together alot i have been paired with 8/10's for a week at a time and ended up fwb with a few of them .. sorta pulled me out of a beta pool i guess .. i dont do it anymore but thats because i have friends ..
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Alright, too much self loathing going on here for me to not reply.

What a lot of people have been saying is completely accurate. We cannot help you with a step by step instruction on how to suddenly "have friends." Or "get a life."

But we will tell you how to try. You are going to fail. You might fail a lot. But you have to fucking try.

It will feel uncomfortable, and it fucking should. You should be out of your comfort zone so you begin to feel comfortable in new, social situations.

Yes, go to a bar alone if that is what it takes, talk to someone. No one is personally offended if you talk to them.

After that first experience, think about it, think about what you can take away. What worked? What didn't work? Change your approach, try again. Never fucking stop trying to talk to people.

My wife works as a cashier, she gets hit on at least ten times a day, its part of the job. I can never blame anyone, because I know at the end of the day, they want the same thing that I want, that anyone would want.

So, fucking try. Don't fucking say that adv didn't help you for shit, because every single time these threads get posted, any reasonable god damned human being says the same thing, and any defeated social autist tells the OP that there is nothing they can do.

But they are fucking wrong.
Thread posts: 33
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