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How to be best buddies with girl

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Thread replies: 11
Thread images: 1

Alright, so I awkwardly asked a girl I'd been crushing on for months on a date. She said No but was nice about it and we're still friends.

The thing is, I actually really like her as a friend. She's one of those girls you sometimes meet and think "Damn, if you were a guy we would be best friends" - I've never met anyone like her who's into the same shit as me. I also had a major crush on her, I know, but that kind of grew out of a desire to get to know her better. We don't hang out that much, only really in groups, but we do talk sometimes walking back from class.

I would like to be a better/closer friend to her, but unfortunately that may be impossible. We're college students, but our course is coming to an end in two months. I have her phone number, but I will probably never ever see her again after the course ends. She lives 100 miles away from me, so I would have to make a point of seeing her.

Originally I thought the only way I could actually visit and see her in that way would be if we were dating, otherwise it might not work. That is out of the picture now, so I don't know what to do.

I will probably drive up near her area more often when I get my car sorted out, but I feel like if I texted her asking "Yo do you want to meet up for a catch up" or something she might think I'm trying some shit, even if I'm not.

I don't know. We hang out in a group of friends, so I could suggest to the other friend in our group we meet up at some point, but she lives like 150 miles away and that would be even harder to organise.

I would use facebook, but I do not have an account and neither does she. She is very similar to me in many ways, that isn't always a good thing.

I have done enough of these courses to know that when they end you will just never see some people ever again. I don't want that to happen this time though.
>>
OP Cont - I don't know what to do, I guess I am trying to both maintain and escalate a good acquaintanceship to friendship over a 100 mile distance with someone I already expressed romantic feelings for that were not reciprocated, making it even more awkward/fucked up. Maybe I am kind of beaten and I just need to say goodbye forever. That would be a shame though, she's so awesome, I will miss her
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>>16939865
I'm conscious this is a long ass thread and it may get lost soon, so I'm thinking I have one good questionb- should I just talk to her about it? I know forced freiendships suck but maybe that is all K can do
>>
I mean yeah, just be straight with her. Tell her that you had this crush and it's OK that she doesn't feel the same way, but besides that you think she's an awesome person and really fun to be around, and you'd just really like to be friends. Explain that you have no ulterior motive (and obviously don't ever try to pursue a relationship with her again). At the end of the day it's up to her to decide whether she believes you or not on that front, but at least you tried.
>>
It's easier to have a long distance friendship than it's ever been. You have instant messaging, phone, video chat via Skype, online games you can play together. You can stream movies at the same time and chat about them. You can email regularly letter-style or stick with short-form chats. There's tons of options.

I have several friendships that I maintain over long distance. You just have to be willing to put in a little more effort since you won't see each other regularly anymore. But if you maintain a constant presence in their lives you can stay friends easily.
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>>16940101
>>16940158
I'm kind of worried because obviously I really like her, but what if she doesn't even particularly like me enough to want to maintain a frindship like that? I mean we are friends but not too close
>>
this is so cute op is in love and he doesnt even know it

however all good thing have an end. And its getting closer to that end op. its time to move on.
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>>16941018
>OP is in love
I sure hope not. I thought that could only happen when the person liked you back anyway.

If I have to just say goodbye and move on then that's what I'll have to do, but then I'll regret the missed opportunity. Like I said, if she was a guy we would be best friends.
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>>16941249
You're still somewhat smitten.... not chased off but just discouraged.

You can be "friends" but once she gets home she will be among her regular friends and course companions tend to quickly fade from memory because they aren't relevant.

I would suggest making the drive to her area on a pretext (say you bought something on ebay and wanted to pick it up - make sure you've got something in your car for show and tell).

Call her first, use her number - it's why she gave it to you - tell her the bullshit story but be light on details and suggest meeting up for coffee or lunch. That way you can have a genuine catch up and hear about what she's done since getting back and you can do the same.

You'll soon know if she really wants to keep in touch or just 'politely' keep in touch.
>>
only do it if you're really sure you can put your romantic feelings aside. otherwise you're just going to end up being bitter, jealous, and resentful, and will ultimately cause her more harm than good
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>>16941270
>>16941279
OP here, I thought about this more and there's no way this can really work. I could try calling her or something but after what happened I don't think she would feel comfortable. Even if she was a guy this wouldn't work because of distance and everything, and I missed my chance to be a close enough friend that we could watch movies online/use skype etc.

And anyway, who am I kidding? Those feelings haven't gone away even if I tell myself they have. I'm gonna be super sad in a few months, that's for sure. This thread should probably be left to die off, thanks for the help everyone.
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 1


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