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Torturing yourself on a loved ones death anniversary. Why?

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Torturing yourself on a loved ones death anniversary. Why?
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>>16938527
Some people get feels on anniversaries, I guess because the date is burned into their mind, plus it's the same time of year so there are lots of reminders in the environment (weather is about the same, same holidays are occurring near that date, etc.). That's natural. Deliberately ripping old scabs off and crying about them on purpose, however, goes beyond catharsis and is just wallowing.

Who's doing this? You or someone else?
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Gf does this everyone she's ever known who's died. Sad AF ask what's up 8 years today my grandad's anniversary, of him dying. Wtf.

Mother was upset today asked why 35 years to the day her mother died.

I just get on I don't torture myself every year mourning a "anniversary". I like to think occasionally of happy times with said person but why take over the death all the time?

These are just two examples a lot of people do it, either im autistic or there's some sympathy bs at work.
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>>16938535
Op here I've elaborated below.
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Op here again everyone I know seems to do this shit, can be a party a nice time and there's one cunt who's aunt germima died 12 years ago to the day catching feelings. They fucking died that day I'm sure they'd rather not have or have it be made into a big date deal. Celebrate thier birthday or some shit fucks sake. I'm luckily bad with dates so don't dwell or try to take old wound death days.
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>>16938543
How many people close to you have died? Just curious.

And yeah, some people just miss the dead more. Or they feel like if they let themselves forget, the person is really gone. And honestly sometimes you start out trying to remember the good times but you end up getting kind of maudlin because, well, the person's dead.

I miss my grandma sometimes but I never knew her well and I don't remember the date she died. I still miss my old cat a lot and I don't remember the date we had her put to sleep either. So to me, the anniversary isn't as important, but I still get bummed occasionally.

Anyway that's all I can think of. I don't know why so many people around you do this. I don't really know anybody who does it. Everybody's environment is different.
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Lots majoriry care giver when I was 6. Young cousin in tragic circumstances, aunts, uncles, all grandparents.

I've experienced more loss than most. I miss them but refuse to torture myself year in year out when the initial event of someone passing was traumatic enough.
Thread posts: 7
Thread images: 1


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