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Hello /adv/.
I am having trouble with friendships. Just tonight I had two friends over, and the friend-in-question's girlfriend. We had dinner and whatnot and then he left. Yet I feel troubled.
It went well, or very average. Yet despite liking him before this, I have coolled on him majorly. The usual friendly manner I have with him seemed to be rejected - and though friendly, he looked at me, seemingly with annoyance. This annoyed me slightly, for, with a combination of other factors, I just seemed to dislike him almost, despite being one of my best friends.
The man in question has a wide array of friends. On asking him (jokingly) who was his best friend, he said he had friends for different purposes but I was in the 'first tier'. As always, I seemed to be sidelined whenever he meets one. Not really great. But he beats me in college work, beats me socially, economically - though not in my pet subject and one he pretends to follow, though I don't think he does.
With that story out the way, what strook me after is that I don't want to be friends with him. I don't want to associate with him. I have an inferiority complex - I acknowledge it - and always have. But I am struggling in any friendships where I have little real contact to not become inferior and reject them immediately. How do I deal with friendships? How do I develop them or even companionships? Because whilst I don't believe I will be alone forever, I still can't envisage me ever having a sole companion. It seems completely beyond my reach. Never have I been able to retain a friend from all the stages of my life. Only when in forced contact do I ever seem to succeed. But even in that I feel inadequate! What to do?
Sorry for the long post. I appreciate any support.
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>>16935975
I don't like the picture you have chosen. Reminds me how ugly and base 4chan is.
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>>16935995
And I thought I was picking a plain picture to ensure focus on the thread! Oh well.
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>>16936014
No, it's a nice painting, it just annoys me that I spend most of my time here.
As for your problem of connecting with other people, this is a terrible place to look for advice. I don't think I've seen any advice regarding socialising that wasn't some vague "go out there and....do something".
You're still in college why not join a geek/anime club? (Unless they are composed of chris-chans)
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>>16936069
I see what you mean. I don't spend long on here anymore. I did - like you. But I just forced myself off. Don't ask me how - it happens in phases.
I guess you're right. I'm glad I wrote it down I suppose. But maybe I'm clutching at straw. Things will go on life, and though they will mostly always be for the worse, things will go on. So it is!
Oh, no, it's not necessarily making friends. It is becoming close companionships - sole companions. I feel very, very inferior. Nobody finds me important enough to dedicate their time to me. It sounds very spoilt reading it back - but I'm anonymous, so what difference does it make?
All the best to you.
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>>16936099
>Nobody finds me important enough to dedicate their time to me. It sounds very spoilt reading it back - but I'm anonymous, so what difference does it make?
No, I get you, you feel like one of the backup friends. I'm just thinking maybe they're not the right kind of friends for you. I don't mean cut them off, just don't cling onto them.
Does he have the same interests as you?
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>>16936133
Yes, in general. We do the same subjects exactly. We have the same views. I suppose we complement each other. The only gulf I guess is sport and athletics. But I don't know. If I cut off this friendship, I don't see another light anywhere. I don't particularly want to ride it out either. I'm just very tired of it all. I have tried very, very hard to construct good friendships. I have, hand on heart - that's not just me saying it to justify my tantrum. I put myself out there. I did things I hate doing - including hosting them tonight. The result is nothing at all! Oh, maybe I'm exaggerating.
But well. What else can be done? I hope to have a wife sooner rather than later. I'm very tired of caring about social affairs. I would really delegate a lot. And what of you? How are your friendships, if I may turn the gun?
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>>16936173
I don't really have many friends, just a lot of long-time acquaintances that, for some reason, are starting to contact me after a long time, mostly cos I guess we're all getting older and their social circles are starting to shrink.
I'm a social retard but I can mask it pretty well and most people, since secondary school, treat me with polite indifference which isn't too bad. I don't think I've ever had a constant friend thoughout my life.
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Maybe you're just too uptight. Not trying to be insulting...but in order to form companionship with anyone you have to look past flaws. You have to look past flaws in yourself as well, first, actually.
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>>16936205
Part of the reason I've never really had many friends was that for some reason my sink estate and area had lack of geeks/nerds/anime buffs. Apparently, it's unique to my sink estate and area cos other rough boroughs had shit like that.
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