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When women take sexual interest in me I usually brush them off

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When women take sexual interest in me I usually brush them off because leading to sex just feels weird and awkward as fuck.

I'm also a 23 year old virgin.

The fuck gives?
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>>16934801
>I turn down offers of sex.
>I am a virgin

Can YOU spot a connection?
>>
>>16934801

I've done this several times if a guy is WAY too attractive to me. It makes me uncomfortable. i dont trust their intentions. and even if their intentions seem true, i fear that ill be put in a position where i have to do what they want sexually, whereas if a guy is only just barely above me or lower, i can be in control of the situation and demand the sex the way i want it.
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>>16934813
No? I'm not questioning why I'm still a virgin, I'm questioning why sexual advances always feel awkward or "wrong" for me, even if the girl is attractive.
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>>16934801
Be glad that you seem attractive to the opposite sex.
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>>16934801

Maybe you're gay.

Maybe you just have a very low sex drive.

Maybe you're truly afraid you'll become attached to them and they'll break your heart.
>>
You probably have a deep-seated phobia of sex

When a woman starts to show sexual interest in you, do you start to avoid them or think of ways to end the current conversation and get away from them? Start to try to do things that will make them loose interest?

You have a phobia of sex, or at least some sort of aversion to it that causes you angst and anxiety.

This feeling of "weirdness and awkwardness" is angst. Perhaps you don't think you should be having sex. Perhaps you have some sort of moral aversion to committing the act. Perhaps you think if you have sex now, it won't be a perfect situation like you imagined or not with someone you truly loved. Perhaps you have a past trauma that you don't even remember, or even recent trauma from reading about all sorts of toxic relationships on 4chan and subconsciously try to avoid similar situations. Perhaps you are scared that you will fuck up due to most others already being sexually experienced.

Regardless, realize that you have some sort of mental aversion to it, and work on ways to move beyond it and try to "cure" the issue. It'll take time, but you can do it. It's a more common phobia than you think.

Read some psychology books if you need more help.
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>>16935305
Also, what's your history of intimacy in the past?
Have you ever kissed someone? Been breastfed?
You could be scared of intimacy and feel there is
"something wrong" if one ever tries to be intimate with you
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>>16935310
I was breastfed, have never kissed anyone other than relatives in a platonic way.

I do have trouble with intimacy. I can't say I love you to anyone unless it's in a forced way.

I'm basically a 6'4 KV that has never had a girlfriend or had any girls interested in me before I grew up. When I was younger I was pretty oblivious of my own hygiene and stuff and only really gave a shit about games.

Now my hygiene is good, I'm muscular from lifting weights, and my acne has cleared up to a decent degree. I have scars from the past though, like stretch marks all over my body and I still have cystic acne on my back.
>>
Religious upbringing?
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>>16935473
I was Christened and my mother's side of the family is Roman Catholic but there was never a religious pressure on me from my parents. My dad is an atheist. I did go to a catholic school for a period of time though, but it didn't really bother me because a lot of the kids there didn't believe in God anyway.
>>
>>16934801
You are literally KEKING yourself. In all seriousness though you should probably take them up on that and stop cock-blocking yourself.
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>>16935157
This, I was also thinking maybe low self-esteem. OP what kind of thoughts go through your head after she makes her interest known and before you turn her down? Be as detailed as possible.
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>>16935465
>When I was younger I was pretty oblivious of my own hygiene and stuff and only really gave a shit about games.

And here is your issue.

While you have improved on the outside, you are still the same person from the past. You still have the mindset of your pimply uncleaned self of the past.

Imagine a really fat guy who tries to pick up women. He'll probably be rejected and any attempts of intimacy could potentially be met with disgust. Even if he never even hit on a woman, he might still feel insecure about himself and avoid making any woman uncomfortable around him.

Now let's say this fat guy lost his weight and started to work out. Now he looks good. But he'll still have the same outlook and mindset of before, because he only physically changed while years of mental buildup and behavior are still there. He may still fear hitting on woman because he's now in a situation previously unknown to him. Insecurities may linger, and if it's not his weight anymore, it may be stretchmarks or something. Even though that's not such a big deal, he could still internalize the insecurity.

Take confidence in your new looks. Maybe buy some new clothes that will help you feel good. And after that, just go with it. Drink a bit and see how things turn out.
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>>16934801
i feel you OP. i do exactly the same thing. im 21. not a virgin but have only had sex a few times. I normally lose interest in the women after i have had a wank or i feel as though i am going to be messed about. i dont care about sex like 95% of the time
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>>16935612
Drinking doesn't alleviate the issue though. Like the last time I was approached I was drunk off my shit. Like my excuse for not smashing was literally "I'm too tall and my dick is too small" even though my dick is like 6 inches. Like what the fuck?
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>>16934839
It's an intimacy issue. You don't trust them. Or it could be a self esteem issue on your part.
>>
>>16935784
Well I am still pudgy, like 23% bodyfat. But I'm also pretty muscular so it counterbalances it a little.
Thread posts: 18
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