If a girl came out and told you she was sexually assaulted (prior)

yes. that's one of the shittiest of shit tests there is. just bail.

Yep, she's broken good now, ditch her while you can.

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Yep. I had a girl tell me she was raped on the first date before.

It is still to this day the worst date I've ever had, she also told me the number of sexual partners she had been with up until that point in her life.

It is a massive red flag and you should bail NOW. Do not stick your dick in crazy, OP. Even if you already have? You should still bail.

I don't like the "Lol used goods" argument any more than the next guy but these types of chicks have SEVERE emotional damage that you will have to confront often.

Don't think along the lines of "lol dat used up pussy though" but instead consider the mental instability that is rife within this girl's psyche.

These are the types of girls who will break down crying mid sex, or go from bipolar levels of "I love you" to "YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME ANYWAY YOU PIG".

You can't help this girl, a therapist may be able to.. but you can't.

>>16933526
It's gay that women are so easy to be raped

>>16933513

Ctr shift e Op. Eject bail now before you have to deal with crazy shit.

Shit brah would tread with extreme caution, would want to move into the friend zone with this one and keep looking at least for a year or two. WTF why would you want to date so quick after getting raped shit if some nigga raped my ass I would need a ton of weed hookers and therapy

>>16933591
Idk man all I can think about now is two dudes holding down my girlfriend and sticking it in her mouth and pussy and it's fucking with me

>>16933605
If you are already having these thoughts then it is too late. You aren't ever going to be able to get past this in earnest, it will always be the inkling of doubt in your mind eating away at the foundations of your relationship with this girl.

>>16933513
it depends on the circumstances, but probably yes

you need to put yourself in that situation in order for it to happen most of the time

>>16933513
I'm not sure what's wrong with this.

I've been assaulted a few times - it's something that happened to me which I couldn't help. So doesn't say anything about me as a girlfriend.

On the other hand, I'm not traumatised about it. I know women who turned into men-haters after bad experiences.
But this depends on how she handles the situation.

>>16933635
Because I'm thinking of a dude sticking his dick in my girlfriends mouth while another guy fucks her

>>16933635
>a few times

ever wonder that it's you?

>>16933650
Sure thought about it, it wasn't though :)

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>>16933635
>I'm not sure what's wrong with this.
Unnecessary Emotional Baggage

I've been assaulted a few times - it's something that happened to me which I couldn't help.
>a few times
>I'm not traumatized about it.
....dude jesus christ. You have some deep seeded emotional issues whether you are willing to acknowledge them or not. You can sit here crying until the cows come home that you are just like every other girl but you aren't.

You've had some serious damage done to you, and the majority of men aren't trying to shoulder your burden when there are millions of other women out there who don't possess the emotional baggage you do.

Also out of curiosity how in the fuck has it happened to you so many times? Do you live in Tijuana? Are you like a massive party girl?

I'm honestly baffled how you can be this messed up and still this much in denial about it.

Reminds me of war veterans who have PTSD but insist they are fine because they don't want to appear weak right up until the moment they stick the barrel of the gun in their mouth.

>>16933513
Do you care about her enough to deal with her trauma and take her to get help? If so then yes by all means keep her.

But if you are just looking for an easy out then take it right now because at that point you obviously don't care and if you don't care you shouldn't spend time dealing with her baggage.

>>16933652
You sure about that sweetheart?

Most girls don't seem to have this problem.

The few that do certainly aren't in such vehement denial about it.

>>16933657
Maybe he cares but is also a human being and simply can't get past the fact his girlfriend was used and abused like a fucktoy.

Not everyone wants to refurbish the town bicycle.

Even dating male rape victims is hard, I can't imagine meeting one with a vagina that isn't a feminist bot with a tumblr vocabulary.

>>16933652
Well I'm going to call bullshit on that one. Happening once is unlikely but plausible I suppose. More than once you need to start wondering if you somehow invite/like those behaviors, or if you're just plain paranoid.

>>16933545
>You can't help this girl, a therapist may be able to.. but you can't.

She'll never have not been raped, dude. Yeah it fucks you up for a while, but you're basically saying that anyone who's ever been assaulted will never be able to be in a relationship and with have to die alone with their therapist as their only friend.
You don't have to be playing therapist to hang out with someone who's been assaulted. Sometimes people just like each other.

>>16933657
I'd rather have a non raped gf

>>16933666

It's a known fact that once assaulted, you're more likely to be assaulted again. Perpetrators have a sense for the victim type, and the life circumstances that led someone to be assaulted in the first place (dangerous neighbourhood, poor judge of character, dangerous lifestyle etc) aren't going to magically disappear once it's happened.
It still doesn't say much of anything about the victim's character, and the little it does arguably say doesn't really mean anything to anyone who's not planning to assault them.

>>16933689
That's another thing I'm worried about it happening again

But fuck she's such a good girlfriend and we have a crazy good sex life and chemistry but this is just not something I can deal with I'm the type of guy that gets pissed off over any sexual history and this is just the worst thing that could happen

it's pretty crazy a woman can ruin any man's life with a rape allegation

>>16933694

You sound like an asshole desu. Maybe she shouldn't have to deal with your baggage.

>>16933513
>(prior) 2 months after dating

As in, you've been dating for two months and she was assaulted at some undefined time before that?
Or she was assaulted two months ago and you began dating some time after that?

>>16933670
Eh, there are enough women out there who haven't been raped that I'd make the effort to actively pursue one of those women instead of settling for a woman with a sexual history I'm uncomfortable with.

>>16933689
maybe, if you're retarded

>>16933696
Why would a woman lie about that? It damages their reputation too kinda

>>16933657
Should I bring it up with her? Like say hey that thing you told me about is messing with me a lot and it's making it really hard for me to be with you? Or is that stupid

>>16933698
Oh boy here come the
>wow you should just be totally cool with the fact that a bunch of dudes ran train on your girl then tossed her aside like a cum receptacle.
crowd.

OP is perfectly valid in having qualms about this. Don't try to throw the onus on him like its HIS issue/fault that his girlfriend has been used and abused.

>>16933709
>Why would a woman lie about that? It damages their reputation too kinda

The same reason anyone has ever lied since the dawn of time, because they stand to gain something from it. Maybe that something is sole custody of a child, or maybe that something is distancing yourself from the reputation as the "easy/party girl" by saying it wasn't that you were easy, it was that they forced you.

It is an after-the-fact thing. They don't go out of their way to sleep with you knowing they will later accuse you of rape. They regret it, and it is easy to say they didn't want it than they made a mistake and have to own up to that.

It is easier to say the creepy guy forced himself on you than you were really lonely and the creepy guy was the only one who showed you any attention so you thought you'd give him a chance and ended up sleeping with him only to realize your friends know.

>>16933719
Yeah I guess but you should be avoided girls like that anyway

>>16933513
would you like to enter a public toilet stall after some dude just took a massive shit in it ?

she's Broken good
ABORT ABORT!

>>16933713

If he's uncomfortable dating her, he should leave. But that's his decision. Don't take it out of his hands like staying with her is a completely impossible task.
He's not obligated to put in the effort to become a rocket scientist either, but that doesn't mean it's completely unreasonable as a concept.

>>16933709
>taking the bait

>>16933731
Should I bring it up and tell her how much it's messing with me? We have plans to hang out soon and I really wanted to just go and enjoy it and I feel like I'm going to ruin it but this is eating away at me I don't think I can even see her naked or have sex with her without feeling something negative and I don't want to end our relationship over this but it's too fucking traumatizing I see it like 80 times a day in my head

>>16933725
>Yeah I guess but you should be avoided girls like that anyway

That is the caveat, my friend. You can't avoid these girls because you have absolutely no way of knowing a girl will pull this kind of shit on you until it happens.

Every dude is always fucking shocked/baffled when it happens and genuinely doesn't understand why they have suddenly changed their minds.

All women have the capacity to do this, some women are just more prone to exercising that capacity than others.

>>16933740
You sound biased

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>>16933735
>I don't want to end our relationship over this but it's too fucking traumatizing I see it like 80 times a day in my head

IT IS TOO FUCKING LATE. READ THE WORDS THAT ARE BEING TYPED TO YOU BY FUCKING EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER IN THIS THREAD.

YOU HAVE WAITED TOO LONG IF YOU ARE ACTIVELY THINKING THESE THOUGHTS ARE YOU'VE ALLOWED YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO GET POISONED BY THEM. YOU WON'T SUDDENLY FEEL BETTER TOMORROW, YOU WON'T SUDDENLY FEEL BETTER AFTER DISCUSSING IT WITH HER. YOU WON'T FUCKING FEEL BETTER UNTIL YOU REMOVE THE SOURCE OF STRESS FROM YOUR LIFE YOU DIPSHIT.

You are sitting here trying to come up with every possible solution/justification under the sun when it was obviously to all of us (and should be obvious to you at this point) that this relationship cannot work in its current state.

Is this literally your first girlfriend or something? Why is it so hard for you accept advice when you went out of your way to seek the advice?

I WANT OFF THIS FUCKING TRAIN OF OP BEING A DELUSIONAL SHITHEAD.

>>16933735
>but it's too fucking traumatizing
You poor dear. Having to hear about someone else's rape.

My boyfriend got molested as a child, it didn't change my opinion of him at all. If she acts crazy, yes, bail. But some people can really work through that shit, if she's gotten therapy, support, and maintained a good life, just because she's been assaulted doesn't mean she's without a doubt insane.

>>16933753
Because she's been better than all my other girlfriends and plus if I leave I'll just be lonely and miserable for god knows how long

And I'll be thinking of her and the assault the whole time I'm single

>>16933740

Swap the genders and this post could easily be women who are scared that every man is going to rape her.

You're a loony, friend. Yes it's a marginal threat, but so is getting hit by a bus. Live your life.

>>16933747
So do you friend, you are sticking your fingers in your ears shouting "nyah nyah nyah" whenever people give you valid advise. You clearly only want people to tell you what you want to hear so here goes, champ...

You and your girlfriend are wonderful and perfect, you are meant for each other. Omg she is so amazing and so are you! You must be like soul mates, everyone is wrong except you! You are right while the world deludes itself around you! Stick with this amazing women because clearly it doesn't bother you at all that this girl has had dudes forcibly unload inside her while she laid there and took it.

Feel better now sport?

>>16933754
Well obviously I don't have it as bad as her but it kinda demonized the world for me and it means I have to take on her trauma and deal with it too which means I have to really trust her to not dump me or cheat or anything and yeah

Also she's a bit of a lying cunt so I kind of want to just enjoy the relationship and see where it goes without taking everything serious

>>16933735

I don't know what you should do, but if you choose to explain why, just don't make it her fault.
If you can't handle it, then the reason the relationship is ending is the fact that you can't handle it. The reason is not that something happened to her which she had no control over, or that it automatically makes her a loose canon, or whatever.
And that's fine. If you can't handle it, you can't handle it, them's the breaks.

>>16933760
Okay, so you are a weak insufferable faggot who can't stand to be alone so you'd rather be plagued with doubt and stress. At least be honest with yourself and don't fucking waste our times with threads like this if you had absolutely no intention of being reasonable.


>if I leave I'll just be lonely and miserable for god knows how long

You are weak, cowardly, and deserve all the miserable things that come to you in life. I have no sympathy for the craven.

>>16933765
Well, if you wanted a used cumdumpster of a girlfriend just to fuck around with until you bored, you succeeded.

Congrats... I guess?

>>16933760
>I'll just be lonely and miserable for god knows how long

Good. Maybe you can use that time for personal growth, so you don't have to stay in bad relationships just for the sake of it, and feel cucked by fucking rapists.

>>16933770
Well I don't really want to just use her for sex but she does kinda lie and treat me like shit sometimes so i don't see why I should give a shit

>>16933774
>she does kinda lie and treat me like shit sometimes
>in addition to all her personal emotional baggage from the rape/assault

Come on, OP... you are making this so god damn hard to not just say "You're a fucking idiot" and be done with it.

I was initially more reluctant to say drop her because you made it sound like she was the best thing ever in your life but now it sounds like you aren't even that interested aside from sex and the occasional laugh.

If that is really all you are getting from this relationship though you should seriously drop this girl.

Not only do you have all the personal hang-ups about her past, but it doesn't even sound like you guys have a super happy relationship to begin with. It sounds like this girl has more emotional issues that you want to acknowledge.

>>16933786
>It sounds like this girl has more emotional issues that you want to acknowledge.
Sounds like OP himself has more emotional issues than he wants to acknowledge.

Both these people need to fucking split and seek therapy.

I guess it depends if we're fucking - and if we've been dating for two months, then we are. No way I'd hang on for that long if I wasn't getting any.

So if I'm nailing this chick and this happened to her before we even started dating, then no, why would I leave her? I'd ask if she got tested, but other than that it wouldn't really faze me.

Younhave two choices OP. Man up and get your shit together and treat her better than anyone else ever had, to the point where she would feel like shit for treating you like shit, or man up and leave and NEVER look back. Either way shit isnt going to change unless you start asserting yourself and be a better person. I've been where you are, I had a girl who had the shittiest childhood imaginable, where she was constantly raped and abused and found herself in plenty of bad situations as she got older because of poor choices. Her life was a fucking train wreck yet underneath it all she could also be the sweetest person ever. But as time went on she saw me less as "me" and more like "them". You know, the ones who made her life shit just for being men. As much as she made me feel phenomenal at times, the lows were just too unbearable so I got my ass out of there and never looked back.

I've been single now for about a year and a half and am happier alone than with, or anybody to be quite honest. OP, no matter how much you think you love her, you cant let your love for her ruin you as a person.

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>>16933652
You either have a very liberal definition of sexual assault or continue to put yourself in compromised situations.

>stop blaming the victim!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I'm not "blaming the victim." Nobody deserves to be raped. That's a given. Does not change the fact that the world has plenty of shitty people and no amount of hashtags or "social awareness" will change this simple truth.

Shitty people almost never stop being shitty, either because they genuinely see nothing wrong with their behavior, or because they revel in being a wolf amongst sheep. There will always be shitty people, and any "social change" will do fuck all to change that because shitty people have generally been failed by, and are thus distrustful of, society and it's trends.

Ergo, it behooves you to not do things like get black out drunk or allow yourself to be isolated (or both) in unfamiliar places around unfamiliar people.

Again, I'm not saying you deserved to be raped. What I'm saying is, I know plenty of women who have gone their entire lives without being raped, and they all generally practice common sense. I'm saying, it might do you some good to think back on the times you were assaulted, ask yourself if there's anything you could have done (not what other people could/should have done, it's about taking accountability for yourself and empowering yourself through the power of the choices you make) that would have prevented it from happening (start from the moment of the assault and work your way back) and see if you notice any trends.

Then again, maybe you just revel in being a victim.

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>>16933760
Ho. Lee. Shit. OP.

Are you one of those people who has to validate their existence through the existence of someone else?

How old are you dude?

OK. Ditch the bitch. That's the first step. Second step is fly out to the Philippines or Thailand and just get as many notches as you can. I'm talking new chick every night for like three or four weeks.

At this point, pussy should be off it's pedestal and you'll be able to assess potential romantic partners based on other qualities.

You're young, I can tell just from what you say and the way you say it you are at most in your early twenties.

I bring this up because any relationship you have now or at least for the next few years is going to be pure bullshit anyway; you and this girl still have lots of personal growth ahead of you, you are practically guaranteed to grow into very different people who want very different lives.

Hit it one last time, cut your losses, and move on. You've got oneitis, get ahold of yourself.

You made this thread because you don't want to coddle some used goods at this point in your life, which is a perfectly natural reaction, the only reason you're conflicted is because society conditions you to think that women are perfect and that you owe them something. You don't.

You don't want this girl. She's nothing. She's nice to you and touches your penis. That's it. There's plenty of women in the world who are nice and will touch your penis. Focus on building your own identity and establishing a life for yourself before you worry about sharing it with anyone.

Every American male should meet the following criteria before "settling down."

>Is at least 30
>Owns his own home
>Owns at least one vehicle
>Has visited the east and west coasts of the continental US and every continent (Antarctica optional but totally fucking worth it) at least once

and most importantly

>Has met a woman who is worth sharing any of that with (read: "settling" is pathetic)