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Can we still be friends?

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Me and my gf broke up yesterday but she said "can we still be friends" I still have feelings for her tho.
Should I be the mature one and accept her friendship or just ignore her
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>>16933092
I don't see what it has to do with maturity. The mature thing would be doing whatever is best for yourself.
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What are the reasons you broke up?
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>>16933092
Usually works best for me if I take a break with no talking until ready. One time that was about two weeks. Another time it took a year.
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>>16933092
once you grow up you'll realise there's no such thing as friends. everyone is fuckable, even the dog. it depends on alchohol/ money/ how good looking your are/ personality in that order
>>
In my experience the whole friends thing seldom works out

My last ex told me she wanted, sincerely, to remain friends and help me

We haven't talked since the day she broke up with me
>>
No. You cannot be. Not for a great while. You got to wait until you forget her even as a friend. Should take a year. Maybe reunite by chance and be friends from then on. But most likely you never will be friends again. And you won't mind, OP.

You should probably say you can't be friends. Because most likely you won't be.
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>>16933111
In her words "anon I'm sorry but what feelings I had for you before are not as strong as they were before. I'm sorry I just don't feel the same"
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>>16933185
It sucks, but she's been honest so you should accept it and move on.

Although everything we type here right now won't even matter cuz you'll still want her back and will suffer. Just hold on, pain will go away.
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>>16933092
Feels= No Friends
General rule.
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>>16933190
The biggest problem is that I see her every day cuz she's in one of my classes.
How do I ignore something that's constantly reminding me of my mistakes
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>>16933199
Phylosophy, introspection, autobettering.

It's a hard journey, I don't know if you've got what it takes.
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>>16933199
stop your bitching, grow the fuck up, you have no problems whatsoever, you don't know what a real problem looks like
once someone you love dies all that "how do i ignore" shit will go down the well, i promise you
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>>16933210
I never compared my situation to losing someone forever, I'm just looking for some help is all
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>>16933210
I'm not that guy, but losing someone you love won't change the fact that you've been dumped by the person that you probably loved the most.
It'll just aggravate it.
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>>16933228
you let yourself be sad over something as abstract as a breakup.. that's just fucking dumb. you're still alive and healthy, you have no reason to be sad, trust me. if you knew what true sadness looks like you wouldn't be crying over something so fucking stupid as "being dumped"
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>>16933222
go try to help someone that is in actual pain, talk to someone with cancer or any terminal illness, or even someone with clinical depression
it'll surely help you, it'll make you feel a lot better about your situation
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>>16933240
Listen I get that you've probably had shit rougher than me but from this I've learnt that no matter how much you think you know someone they can't be trusted. And I hate the reality of that
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>>16933246
>And I hate the reality of that
you should try poetry, that's where shit like that should go to
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To more directly answer your question OP,
Some guys can be friends with an ex.
Others can't. I seriously can not do that.

If you think you can great,
If you think you can't well...
Just tell her the truth and move on with your life.
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>>16933257
I know this probably sounds clingy as fuck but I can't imagine her with someone else it just doesn't feel right. I feel like she would get taken advantage of. (She isn't exactly mature for her age)
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>>16933269
Hey anon, I just want to say I am in the same boat as you my girlfriend of 2 years just ended our relationship too. She said that she wanted to be single for a while and explore herself and etc. we had the classic high school sweetheart relationship and it was perfect and could have lasted our whole lives, but she didnt want to commit to that so early on in life. She wants to be friends too and we don't have many friends in general only a couple each. But as advice goes it's not really a question of maturity think about it, when you see her or talk to her your heart is going to re-break all the good times you two shared will come back into your head. do you wanna find out if you can get used to it?
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Cut ties. Every time you see her, that same sense of frustration and loss comes creeping back. Better for both of you, trust me.
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>>16933269
This means you can't be friends then. She WILL start dating again and if you feel this strongly then it'll destroy you if you remain in her life. No contact until ALL feelings are gone. Only then can you be friends.

I tried the whole stay friends thing too. I'm a mature 28 year old, I can be friends with someone I use to love, blah blah blah. It fucked me up hard. No contact is the only thing that lead to healing. I faltered a few weeks back and looked at her social media. It fucked me up again. Maintaining no contact is the only way to truly move on. You need to see yourself as an individual again, not a couple. You cant do that if she remains in your life. It's gonna be fucking hard in the beginning but it gets better.
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>>16933185
>>16933092
>>16933199
>>16933222
>>16933269

She is breaking up with you to free herself up for other men.

"anon I'm sorry but what feelings I had for you before are not as strong as they were before. I'm sorry I just don't feel the same" = "anon I'm sorry but I've encountered multiple other men who I find attractive and my interest in them has begun to detract from my interest in you, rather than commit to this relationship... I'm going to continue to test the waters, because I know you'll still be here waiting for me if I ever want you back."

You aren't going to be friends anon, and frankly you don't want to be. I guarantee you within 3 months she will be dating someone else and it will hurt way fucking more if you have to consistently interact with her.

If she is only in one of your classes you can largely just not acknowledge her and only reciprocate conversation she initiates.

Have a fucking spine though and tell her off.

Jesus, kids these days are so damned soft.
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>>16933092
She doesn't want to actually be friends with you.
She wants to get out of the relationship and not have you be a toxic bitch to her whenever you encounter her.

Tell her you still have feelings for her if you want but just say yes and move on. Her wanting to be friends with you doesn't mean she's gonna come over to your place and hang out every day. Unless she still wants your penis, that is.

Say yes, don't be a dick, but move on with your life.
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>>16933092
>Should I be the mature one and accept her friendship
Clinging to friendship when you still feel unrequited love is the immature thing to do, not the mature thing. You don't necessarily have to cut contact forever, but you do need time and distance for your feelings for her. You can't skip either side of that equation, or it won't work.

Honestly, that's probably the best way to put it to her too. "Maybe in a few months, but I still feel too much. I need some time to cool off".
Thread posts: 27
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