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Dear /adv/ First off I want to say thank you for all the help

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Dear /adv/

First off I want to say thank you for all the help you guys have given me over the years. Ever single input from everyone of you meant a lot to me, because I don't always have people to talk to

I come here today with a spiritual crisis, and I just hope to shine some light on what you guys think. The quote in the picture is very related, and I come and ask one question; Can a person have a fulfilling personal life, while being in a committed relationship for their lives?

I'm 20 years old. I've been with this girl for about a year and a half now. This is my first real relationship that counts, and i'm starting to realize what that quote really means.

Basically, I think shes an amazing rare person whos genuine which is not common these days. however some things about the relationship make me feel as if it's holding me back, and I just don't know what to do

Can you really have a mix of both /adv/? Or am I signing my life away to a lifetime of mediocre security and stagnancy?
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>>16931277

>being in a committed relationship for their lives.

this isn't really a thing since divorce became uber legal. even those who dont divorce lose that sense of commitment and end up becoming weird roommates who fuck. once passion fades you begin to feel like you are thrown together by circumstance, and try to live your life as best as possible with this person in the background. sure you wont bang other people if you're really good, but its kinda like having a business partner, or a sister you can bang.

all that being said, you are twenty, and wondering if your first real relationship is going to be the last one. maybe stop thinking about girls you date in terms of permanency. why bother? sure a year and a half is a long time, but in the grand scheme of life, its not a big deal at all. if life is a year long, you've been dating her for less than two weeks.

here is another quote for you
>something isn't beautiful because it lasts.

you can spend your life pursuing your goals and ambitions, and just meet great people (Even girls) along the way. you can enjoy them while its still possible to enjoy them, and then part ways once its time to move on, or once they are holding you back.

and that leads us to the REAL question anon. how is this woman holding you back? you act as if all goals and all relationships are created equal. you are creating broad generalization.

what is it that you want to do that she wont let you? how? why?
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>>16931277
>Can a person have a fulfilling personal life, while being in a committed relationship for their lives?
Yes. In fact, it's not uncommon for people to find fulfillment in their relationship with their significant other.
>however some things about the relationship make me feel as if it's holding me back
Yes, sacrifices have to be made in the real world. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If these things are truly incompatible, and you can't make these things work, then you need to make a decision. Pick one, stick with it, and don't dwell on "what ifs" because it will only get in the way of your enjoyment of life. If you picked the right thing, you probably won't find yourself lamenting about the life you didn't have.
>Can you really have a mix of both /adv/? Or am I signing my life away to a lifetime of mediocre security and stagnancy?
Yes, look at nearly every successful person in the world, and you will see that most of them are married, or have been. You can also have neither, and be a boring lonely person who has done nothing with their life.

You know, the more I read, the more I think the issue stems with you. Have you once talked to her about your goals? Is she dissuading you, or actively getting in your way? Are you coming here because you've exhausted all your options already, or are you wanting someone to make your decisions for you?
>>
Well it's really just socially that I feel held back, sometimes I feel like I have to hang out with her all of the time, like she would be understanding though if I want to do something with someone else, and I just have dreams of traveling the world, and she says she wants to travel too I suppose that's good
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>20 years old

fuck off kid.
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>>16931395

it sounds you arent having a spiritual crisis at all, you are just insecure about your relationship.

thats normal. its your first real relationship, and most relationships dont last forever, let alone as long as yours has. there are poitns in the relationship where you think 'i like this person, but they do not fulfill me'. and you will feel bad.

its okay to leave people. you dont need them to do something epically horrible. until marriage you are not under any obligation to see something until the end. when a relationship stops being what it needs to be, then it stops.

its normal to want to be a free spirit, to travel in every sense of the word, and to see what happens along the way.

if you arent 100% sure that person is your partner, then stick it out until its no longer fun or holding you back.

if you got fears, sit down with her this weekend and talk about those big goals and wehere you want to go, what to do, and why. everyone says 'iwanna travel' but does anyone actually do it? if its REALLY important, pick a place, calculate cost, calculate how long it will take to save, then plan your trip for about 3 months after that (buffer room for any unexpected expenses).

good luck
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>>16931395
While I don't know everything about your life, from what you wrote here it really just sounds like you're the one holding yourself back. Well at least for now.
>>
>>16931277
the price of being a man is vigilance

be a man rise above the animals
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