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My boyfriend's mother loathes me and wishes nothing but

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My boyfriend's mother loathes me and wishes nothing but ill on me.

My bf was raised in an extremely fundamentalist Christian home. He himself, however, is an atheist now but has not told anyone in his family this because of the possible backlash, especially from his mother. From what he has told me, she views me as a whore even though this is my first relationship and I'm a really modest person. The reason for her hatred is because she found out we had sex and that I basically stole a "special moment" in his life because she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. It doesn't help that I'm not white and she has apparently said disparaging things about my race.

Since she sees me as the scum of the Earth, I don't see anyway I can have a good relationship with my boyfriend's family ever. I'm uncertain of the future of our relationship at times as a result. He still loves his mom and is struggling a lot with this. I'm just at a loss at whether there is anything I can do to better the situation. We're both living away from home but I feel like this isn't an issue that can be ignored forever.
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>>16929960
I don't think you or your boyfriend can have a good relationship with his family. If both of you live away from home, then what's the issue?
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>>16929965
I guess I feel a bit guilty that he had to make that decision to choose between me and his family. He still loves his parents and it hurts feeling like Im responsible for creating this rift in his life. I don't know really.. I guess it might get better in time but right now, it's pretty painful thinking about it.
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>>16929989
"the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
looks like your bf cares way more about you than his family. be happy. you're special to him.
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>>16929989
He chose to be an atheist. That alone would have damaged his parents' perception of him beyond measure. The split was going to happen, but at least you were there for him. You did what you thought was right and that's all you can do.
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Respect is the most important thing in a relationship, and you don't have that.
It's not you Anon, it's him. I've seen it a hundred times. little billy acting out trying to get attention from his religious parents. you got used. it doesn't make you a whore, but it's not going to last. he doesn't love you, he just wanted to get a reaction from mommy. you are not the first
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>>16929960
Does he still go to church?
They're just trying to find a reason to blame walking away from the faith (premarital sex, probably visibly disinterested in religion now that he's atheist etc) that isn't themselves. So they try to pin it on you.
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Tbh I don't think you're all that modest. I'm willing to bet you dress rather slutty ( like the majority of women). To a Christian that would make you a whore
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>>16929960
Anon, my bf parents hated me for all our relationship. They insulted me, stopped giving him money while he was studying because we were living together, and talked shit about me with everyone.

I've been very kind to his mother whenever we were together. Laughed at her insults (ex: "You're fat, you should diet" "Yeah, I know! I wish I was as good looking as you."). Never said a bad word about her to my boyfriend or anyone.
I helped my boyfriend with money, found a job to help him with tuition fees. I took good care of him, made him feel loved, and did my very best to be the best girlfriend I could.

At the end, they realized that I was going to stay and if they wanted their son I was in the package. They now treat me well. I am not interested in having any kind of relationship with them because they're retarded. My boyfriend is in decent terms with them but they pretty much ignore each other most of the time.

Be better than them. Ignore them as much as possible and keep self control.
At the end they're going to realize that if they don't want to lose their son, they have to accept you too.
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>>16930592
I'm pretty much almost a tomboy. I mainly wear jeans and shirt most of the time. So, no.

>>16930063
While this is a bit extreme, I kind of feel my bf was/still kind of is a momma's boy so maybe I do feel a lack of respect at times hence why I see uncertainty in our relationship at times.
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>>16930583
He doesn't. However, the family actually doesn't even regularly go to church. Tbh, I don't even think his family might be considered "good" Christians by any stretch of the definition. I don't want to get into too many details, but his family members all have done very unchristian, sinful things and constantly. They believe that praying away their sins absolves them completely and lets them do shitty things all the time. At times, it seems like they keep their faith only to have some sort of sense of moral superiority.

His parents also have really racist views (unironically calling black people "niggers", for instance). They're really ass backwards people really.
Thread posts: 11
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