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I turn 30 this year. My parents have always been pretty nice

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I turn 30 this year. My parents have always been pretty nice to me regarding money. I don't rely on them for money, or count on their money, but they've done things for me in life like help me buy my house (I pay the mortgage but they helped me get it when the economy was bad), pay for my cellphone as part of a family plan, paid for the part of college that my scholarship didn't cover, and helped me buy a new car when I graduated. They buy me at least one expensive gift twice a year, on my birthday, and during Christmas.

I've got a good job though. I don't need this stuff. I've offered plenty of times to cover these things on my own. My dad offered to help pay for a few trips I'm going on this year, and I just feel bad again. He says that since my mom doesn't do anything (has only left the property 3 times in the past 6 months, literally), he doesn't mind helping me and likes to live vicariously through me.

Should I keep accepting this generosity or go out of my way to tell him I don't want his money, likely to the point of offending him? My friends often give me shit for how much my parents give me financially.
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>>16929698
You should go out of your way to thank your parents
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>>16929698
Parents feel like they should provide for their kids, it's only natural for them to do so. There is nothing wrong with it, most will gladly do so because they want to continue to contribute to their kids well being after they move out. They want to feel like THEY matter in your life, you may not need them but they still enjoy helping you out by acting like a parent again. I'm sure they understand that you can provide for yourself its just about them wanting to feel needed and not redundant.
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I seriously hope you repay this generosity by wiping his ass after he becomes incontinent and combatively senile.
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>>16929698
Buy them expensive stuff back.
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>>16929722

What I didn't add to this is that they were also pretty shitty to me when I was young, and still can be. They compensated with money a lot of times to make up for what a well adjusted set of parents would do.

My dad was a semi-violent alcoholic, made worse by my mom divorcing him (they got remarried when I was 17). He never beat the shit out of me as a little kid, but he threatened to throw me down the stairs while I was over his shoulder, would pick me up by my collar and scream at me... When I was 18 he broke my thumb when we got into a fight after he drunkenly chased my friends down the street for "ruining his marriage." He bought me a PSP the next day to make up for it.

My mom pretended to commit suicide when I was 8, and I had to call the police. She stole my backpack so I couldn't do my homework when I was in 5th grade because she was mad at my dad. She tried to get me expelled from college. 5 years ago she broke a glass table on me.

Most of this comes with a financial apology.
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>>16929753
Your mom is probably Borderline.
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>>16929753

so you feel guilty about taking advantage of their guilty-feelings. or receiving benefit from it. whatever.

well, thats simple to address. Would you accept it if they hadn't behaved dysfunctionally?
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>>16929765

Yes, I mean, they've been pretty stable for the past year with me (mainly because they can't do anything to fuck with me, I can just head off to my own space and do whatever). I still accept it.
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>>16929771

do you think you are somehow disadvantaging them or their life in some way by taking it?
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>>16929794

Nah, I don't. They're not using it... But still, I don't want to be spoiled either.
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>>16929698
Be nice to them and spend a lot of time with them. If you feel guilty for the money don't accept them. In every case repay them with time and kindness. No need to feel bad for their money IMO
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You're 30 fucking years old. Why do you care what your friends think?

If they can easily give you money and they are happy to do it then I don't see an issue. Money is worthless if you don't spend it and you're probably a decent investment for them.

That is to say, if you are spending money on rent/loan interest/car payments then you are just throwing away money that you don't need to if your parents can help you out.

So long term you are either going to get their leftover money when you die, or they can count on you for help when they need it. Financial or otherwise.
Thread posts: 13
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