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Awkward question time. I'm a 30yo virgin. Finally, there's

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Awkward question time.

I'm a 30yo virgin. Finally, there's this girl that seems to be into me, and I really like her. But I'm well aware of the stigma around male virginity, and I really don't think I should bring it up. If it ever gets to sex, she will probably realize I have no idea what I'm doing, and it will be a shitty experience, and she will probably ditch me.

So, I had this idea: Should I see a prostitute and just get my virginity out of the way? I would get a good quality one and she could teach me the basics. I don't even know how to kiss, so I could learn that too.

What do you guys think?
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I would lie. Im a 21 year old virgin and my plan is to say i havent done anything with a girl since i was 17 and i have only dont it a couple times.Or say you havent been with a girl while being sober before. Idk u wouldnt tell her your a virgin but dont act like your fucking bitches all the time. Make it seem like you have done it before but you lack experience
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>>16929662
>>16929681
Didnt notice the kissing part. Idk if it was just me natrually being good but my makeout skills and foreplay all came natrually. I got her off but was to drunk to go any further then that. Do a little googling also it will help
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>>16929662
Get a prostitute to teach you how to kiss and only that. You need to know that shit.

As for being a virgin, just tell her before you fuck. She's not going to turn you down when you're both naked, but she will guide you through the first time. As long as you are attentive and learn what she likes, she'll be happy to have you.
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>>16929681
>>16929684
Yeah, I've done some research so I know the theory.

I guess I'm worried because the first time with a girl is really important. And if I'm 30 and shit in bed, she's just going to assume that's how I always am, since I must've bang dozens of girls by now.

I really don't want to fuck this up.
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>>16929662
I think it's a good idea to try with it with a patient, high quality call girl first. Explain what you want to do and why.

The kind you need will be patient and understanding. She won't be cheap and you'd be better off seeing one outside of a parlor, such as those who work from home.

The reason I think it's a good idea is because you are obviously really up tight about this. So getting a little experience in seeing and touching boobs and pussy for that first time is going to help build your confidence and calm you down. It doesn't matter how bad you do with the call girl so use your time wisely and ask her everything you want to know.

If you want to see and touch her, then ask. Ask her what feels good for her and get her to show you how to do it.

Your new gf will be horrified if she finds out so just tell her you haven't had sex in a long time if she asks. I doubt she will.

You'll still be nervous with her but not freaky nervous so you'll do OK.
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>>16929692
>how to kiss and only that
Why not the sex part? Would that ruin the intimacy or something?

You can never be sure, but from what I've heard a lot of girls would be weirded out by a 30yo virgin. Plus, her being okay with my virginity is only half the problem, I also want to be good enough in bed that she actually wants to stay with me.
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just say you've only been having sex with other men for the past decade so you're a little inexperienced, she'll understand
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>>16929662
I'm a wizard too and in a similar position.

If you like her, when the time comes tell her the truth. If she likes you she'll be down with it, man.

Don't get stuck on that shit. Just take the shot, if you aren't together actually ask her out. Then build from there.
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>>16929737
I'm saying learning to kiss is the most important part. If she doesn't think your kissing skills are up to par, it's going to be a lot harder getting her to bed. I guess the sex part is really up to you, but if you haven't seen a prostitute by the time you're 30, then it'd be a shame to give it up to one now.
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>>16929701
>Your new gf will be horrified if she finds out so just tell her you haven't had sex in a long time if she asks. I doubt she will.
That's the thing. Losing it to a prostitute is kind of degrading, even if no one finds out about it. I am a bit worried of the psychological effects.

I think I could become less uptight on my own, I'm mainly concerned about actually being good at sex, not coming too quick, making her come, etc. Then there's not being able to get a boner, which you're right, would be because of nervousness.
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>>16929842
That's what foreplay is for. Just do a really good job of eating her out and she won't care what happens next.
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>>16929694
first time with a girl is /not/ a big deal
most important thing is make sure you finish - as in come - ina not awkward way. Like if you need to grip ur dick funny and do some specific shit to come, fix that. otherwise your gucci.
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>>16929876
coming on her face is alright I guess ?
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>>16929883
Depends on the girl. Ask.
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>>16929865
>eating her out
Might be hard it's my first time ever, though.

>>16929876
>first time with a girl is /not/ a big deal
Normally it isn't, but if I'm 30 years old and fuck worse than a teenager, wouldn't that be a huge turn off? I'm not so much worried about me cumming, I'm worried about her not cumming.
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You could always get yourself a fleshlight.
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Yes get a prostitute, they are cleaner than most regular women in clubs, and you can get a sexy as fuck one 10/10 that you'd have never had a chance w other wise for the right price.

I hate to say it, but she would judge you for being a virgin, and especially if she has a bad sex experience she will not stick around. only guys are into the idea of virgins, women always want someone experienced for two reasons: 1) it shows they're an alpha male who is highly valuable 2) it will obviously just feel way better, you know, men are encourage to lose virginity unlike women, etc. this is not like the movie 40 y.o. Virgin, she will most likely not be okay w it. Sorry if you have some moral boundary and want it to be "special" but hate to break it to Ya, it's not likely to happen at this point, it wasn't even likely to happen to me when I lost mine at 18, lol I thought I was bad
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>>16929842
>That's the thing. Losing it to a prostitute is kind of degrading, even if no one finds out about it. I am a bit worried of the psychological effects.

You're over thinking this, it's more degrading to be a 30 year old clueless virgin too scared to try than a 30 year old who came up with a plan and executed it.

Just do it. Have fun. Then you can be confident and move on.
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>>16929842
>Losing it to a prostitute is kind of degrading
it does not need to be a prostitute, ask your friends, relatives, gradeschool teachers, see if someone would like to help.
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It's not that difficult to stick a dick in a vagina,actually. If you are insecure than a prostitute will help,but if you feel at ease with your woman than there is no point in using hooker's service.Sex is not nuclear physics and your body knows better than you what to do. I was concerned about this before having my first sex,but it turned out that it's easy as fuck.
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>>16929796
This

>>16929891
Most women fake it anyway since only a small percentage can come from vaginal stimulation only
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>>16929923
>it does not need to be a prostitute, ask your friends, relatives, gradeschool teachers, see if someone would like to help.

Are you serious? I feel like asking around for pity sex, whilst also outing yourself as a virgin, would be an extremely bad move.
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>>16929662
Havent read anything.

I was a 28 yo when i lost my virginity. I did okay. Watch porn and youll be fine. The decent porn with just a couple fucking. There's even lessons of how to kiss online.
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>>16929662

No, you shouldn't see a prostitute while you're dating someone, that's a pretty good way to end it if they find out. Just go slow and focus on spending time with each other, then when the moment comes that you're about to jonk your gubs tell her the truth. If she's already a few seconds from doing you she probably isn't going to be disgusted or anything stupid like that and it could even make the moment more intimate.

Women are people, if you engage with them honestly about totally reasonable matters chances are they will have a reasonable reaction.
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>>16929928
>>16930171
That's a relief, thanks for sharing
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>>16929662
Tbh I am probably the opposite of most others, maybe because I'm a turbo-autist who ever only had one sexual partner, but I get upset at the idea that my partner had experience with other females besides myself.

I don't care if they were good or bad, I just think that he's gone and enjoyed someone else besides myself so it wrecks my esteem. I feel I wouldn't be thinking about this at all if I had known he was a virgin like myself instead, and would have been totally okay with the lack of experience and dorkiness of it all, because my first time was also very clumsy and dorky, on both of our behalves.

Doesn't mean your girl will be the same, but hey, I think she might not mind.
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>>16930250
Well w're not really dating yet. This would be more of a precautionary measure.
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>>16929662
dude if you really like this girl just make sure you have a few drinks in you before you two decide to go at it. it will help you in several ways

you won't be over thinking shit because you're drunk (10 year olds can figure out how to kiss)

you'll have lower inhibitions because you're drunk ( you won't be self conscious about this this and that)

and if it really is a horrendous shitty first time (which it probably will be) you just laugh it off the next day and tell her you drank to much and you're not normally like that
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>>16929662
Relax. For all you know, you might turn out to be instinctively a great lover.

Besides, any couple, however experienced, go into the first sexual encounter knowing there is going to be some awkwardness and out-of-rhythmness, and write that off as nobody's fault, expecting to get better as they go along. So your first time might not be any worse than first times ordinarily are.
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>>16930645
Good idea, but this girl's not a drinker so it would be weird.

>>16930676
That's interesting. I never thought of that, but I guess you're right.
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>>16929662

theres no reason to lie. what woman goes up to a 30 year old man and says 'are you a virgin?'

your sexual history rarely comes up with someone before you have sex with them. she has no reason to assume you are a virgin.

i mean fuck, its not like people sit down and detail their entire sexual history before fucking, so why should you detail yours (even if its just a footnote)
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I'm 32 and a virgin. Why does everyone make it such a huge deal on /adv/ really? I don't understand this shit at all.

I've heard all the insults, loser, ugly, loner, blah blah blah... Besides insults cause of your own insecurities. Why does everyone make such a big deal about being a virgin and having sex?

I've been a virgin for numerous reason. None have to do with being fat, ugly. I'm in shape, well groomed, work, have interesting hobbies and hide my nerdy loser loner ones. I've been hit on by many girls but I just don't care to date or have sex. I heard the a-sexual think come up. But I'm not sure that applies to me.

Outside of that, why care if someone or yourself is a virgin or not? How old or young. I just don't see the point. I've got a happy life, no stress and I'm more stressed over losing friends and family or my job. More so than if I'll get laid or not.
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>>16929662
Hey anon, my advice is the get drunk above. I was ashamed of my age my first time and all I did was say it'd "been a while" while we were getting hot and heavy (OR AFTER) and that's a good way to lower there expectations and thus put yourself at ease without embarrassing anyone. They'll just dismiss any clumsiness as being rusty as opposed to being new.
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>>16929662
I think it's the best plan you have
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Don't listen to these dipshits Anon. Most of them are well on the path to being wizards too.

When she gets hot (you'll know, there will be kissing on the neck or clothed grinding, some indicator) roll with it. When clothes start coming off, she'll probably take initiative and help. If she doesn't, just admit you haven't done this and she will.

When women are ready to go, they don't really care about experience or dick size. You'll probably come too quick, not to worry. Go down on her. Also, use a finger inside her, palm toward her body, making a come hither motion. It'll activate her G Spot.

Have fun Anon.
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>lying
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>>16929662
I was a KV until my late 20s, OP. I would be honest with her, so she knows what to expect. As for the kissing thing though, I can share some advice...

Don't give her tongue right away. Suck on those lips for a good while. If she gives you tongue, then give her some, just don't jam it down. Be subtle and slow about it. With experience you'll know exactly when to use your tongue. It'll be second nature.
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>>16931415
I wish more people thought like you, but unfortunately that's not how the world is
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>>16932165
Is it really lying if it never comes up?

Wouldn't it be shallow of her to judge your based on your sexual past anyway?
Thread posts: 40
Thread images: 1


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