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Hello /adv/. Here is what happens. I recently realized that a

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Hello /adv/.
Here is what happens.
I recently realized that a very close friend of mine had a victim of self harm.
She texted me yesterday and told me that she had done it again, several deep cuts. She said "tell me things as they are once and for all anon", "i need somebody spit out the truth and i want it to be you", and "i dont want any more of that 'dont do that to yourself i love you' bullshit".
The thing is, i told her that she suffered a mental illness and that seeking professional help is her best option right now, but she refuses to believe that she suffers a clinical condition or that she needs professional help.
Her mother once saw the cuts but all she did was to tell her to cover them so her dad wouldnt see them. Her family doesnt know about her condition, only her closest friends.
When i told her she was victim of a mental illness she even got offended.
I dont know anyone who is a psychologist so i wouldnt really have anyone to ask, so i come to you.
What do?
Had been a victim* mb
I don't know why people are so opposed to the idea that they might have a mental illness. Clinical depression is a mental illness, and thousands of people suffer from it. Mental illness doesn't mean stupid or helpless or anything like that. If you're depressed to the point of self harm, especially multiple times, I'd say it's safe to say you are deeply depressed or even bipolar. Both mental illnesses.

Anyway, try to explain that having a mental illness isn't something that she should perceive as offensive, and that there are plenty of ways she could get help if she wanted it.
Sounds like teen angst.
Suicidal ideations from depression, most likely.
Anyway. If she doesn't want help, the least you can do is deny her the means to self harm.
sorry for afk, had to go do some things...
I will take that into account, i will sit down with her and tell her that having a mental illness does not mean that she is crazy. Thanks a lot.

I can not deny her the means to self harm because she lives far from me and i can only see her a coupple times a month...
Yes you can. Warn her parents and have them do it. They're shitty parents if they don't.
The thing is, She told me her mom had seen the cuts once, and all she did was tell her to cover them so her dad wouldnt see them, and didnt even ask her anything...
I think that particular fact is what holds her up from seeking help or even talking to her parents about her situation, and what mekes her believe that she doesnt need anyones's help...
btw sorry for afk again.....
>self harm
Pick one
its not the time to bring that up. Use whatever words you want: Depression is a mental illness and not emo kids' way of calling attention. Take Schizophrenia for an example: Schizo frenetic patients dont choose to live that condition; they are victims of an illness, just like depression.
Past Self Injurer with Actual Advice,

She's not going to stop unless she herself wants to. Self injury is very addictive in the brain, can become routine in some cases, and all around is just a destructive coping strategy for whatever mental pain she's in right now.

I would like to suggest you look up "Distractions and Alternatives to Self-Harm" on the Sirius Project Organization site. It has many different coping strategies that are not self destructive, but still keep the edge off of wanting to self harm. Its also nice because it list what it is you may be feeling at that moment, like wanting to see blood, dissociation, rituals, etc.

The only coping strategy it doesn't list is the rubber band technique, which is simply taking a rubber band or a hair tie and snapping it on your wrist. However, if done too hard, it can cause bruising/broken capillaries, though. But that is a lot better than creating gashes on the body.

I do feel really bad that she's refusing therapy, is not getting help from her mom, and seems to be relying on you for help. I was in a similar situation where my parents turned a blind eye to my cutting.

I think though its also important for your friend to learn to deal with her own problems and not "fish" for attention, which isn't uncommon in these situations. There are plenty of 24 hour chatrooms, like 7upsoftea, that have people online to message that specialize in self injury, depression, etc, and its free.

Good luck, Anon. You're a good friend.
This is literally an "emo kids' way of calling attention", don't give me that bullshit, she's an attention whore, otherwise she wouldn't carve a fucking sign on her body that says "woe is me".
Thanks a lot for showing up. I appreciate every single word and will do my best to help her now that i have the POV of a former Self injurer.
Sorry for afk for the third time, im very busy atm.
Your friend needs to see a therapist.

How to find a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
How to find a therapist: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist

It's arguable. Most people who self-harm are victims of something. I self-harmed because I was abused as a child, for instance.
I live in south america, i doubt those sites will be useful, plus healthcare here is shit. Thankfully she is kinda rich
Anyways thank you for showing interest.
It can't hurt to check them out, anon.

Dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are both really, really helpful for people with self-harm issues, and if your friend is kinda rich she should be able to find a decent therapist.
Don't try to help her all on your own. My best friend had this suicidal tendences and she always trusted me about this. One day she took a lot of pills and thank god I suspected she was about to do it, she's safe now and really happy but her body is still suffering from all those pills. Keep your friend busy, get professional help and maybe talk to her parents
Thank you to everyone who commented on this thread. Now i have much more clarity about the topic and am a bit more aware of how to act from now on.
You've all been really helpful and i hope she will overcome this soon.
This is thebest advice in this thread. If she wants someone to talk to don't deny help to her. Another alternative to wrist cuts is holding ice in your hand, you ilwill feel a lot of pain but without any visible consequence
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