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I thought i was accepted.

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Been with my gf for about 6 years now and i made it pretty clear when we met that i like to crossdress from time to time. She was a bit startled at first but accepted and even said she enjoys it and think it's sexy. But now as time as gone i really get the feeling at Its a turn off to her and recently got mad at me for buying 40 bucks worth of cd clothing. She feels like I'm more attracted to myself than her which is of course not true. Or that i spend more on myself for cloths i can only really wear for sex stuff which also isn't true. I recently spent 250 plus on cloths for her. Dresses, lingerie, bras,panties, blowses, shirts, a lot of stuff. I feel like she is rejecting my sexuality because it's a turn off to her but life i said it was clear from the beginning i was a cd.
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>>16927773
And you want advice on?
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>>16927776
Should i just drop it as a fetish id it's going to hurt our relationship? How do i do that?
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>>16927783
No, don't change for her. If you want to crossdress you should do that. She also has nothing to do with what you spend your money on (I'm presuming that you're spending YOUR money on your sissy stuff).
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>she feels like I'm more attracted to myself

I sense this is the key - she doesn't feel valued enough for some reason and is hesitant with intimacy, and you interpret this as disdain for your crossdressing and become hesitant as well - which just causes a vicious cycle.

I doubt she'd stay with you for 6 years if she really had a problem with crossdressing. It sounds to me like you need to have a chat and redouble your efforts to make each other feel appreciated romantically/sexually.
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The problem here isn't the crossdressing, it's the fact that you take attention/resources away from her to do it. This is typical woman shit - women compete over attention, and they're used to seeing attention-grabbing behavior in others as a negative. (You notice how she doesn't care that you're crossdressing, it's that you're *spending more* on it than you do on her). You're going to have to reconcile that with your crossdressing interest, show her off, spend money, whatever.

It's not an issue of sexuality - she already said she thought it was sexy and has been dating you for six years, you oversensitive tranny faggot.
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>>16927789
Yes, she hasn't had a job for a year or any income. We are not rich but recently ran into at least a little money. Other than food those cloths are the only thing i have got for myself. I bought her a new computer chair, phone, cloths, shoes bit only got myself maybe 60 bucks of clothing. I didn't get her anything for vday and that really upset her but I'm just shitty at those bs holidays and always forget to get even a small gift.
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>>16927799
How can i help her with her self esteem and feel the love and attraction i have for her?
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>>16927800
>no gift on vday
>always forget her

welp, time to make her feel more valued in the relationship cuz that's the problem.

even better if you can connect it positively to your crossdressing in some way, take her out shopping and buy stuff for her and ask her for her opinions of it on you, like a "girls" shopping day or some shit
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I agree with your diagnosis. Your girlfriend does not accept that you crossdress and she is trying to guilt/shame you into thinking you are at fault. There are two problems in this situation. The first problem is that she doesn't like crossdressing. The second problem is that she is using manipulation as a defense mechanism. The second problem is much more alarming than the first. People can stay in relationships despite having different opinions but I strongly advise that you breakup if she falls into insecurity and manipulation.
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>>16927806
I don't know if it's even a self-esteem issue, sounds more like a relationship balance issue - you're not displaying that you value her.
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>>16927809
>take her out shopping and buy stuff for her
What the everliving fuck. It already sounds as if he's trying to make her happy by buying her shit and your advice is to continue that very same behavior when she is already complaining about him not spending enough on her despite the opposite apparently being true?

She sounds like a spoiled retard that's going to milk him on money until he grows a spine or she gets tired of him having no spine.
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>>16927796
I disagree with your interpretation. I want to hope that this is a communication problem where both parties are equally at fault but I cannot see anything as being in the wrong. If the OP truly spends more money on clothes for her than he spends on money for himself and yet she uses money as a pretext to start a fight then she is using underhanded tactics to inflict guilt and shame and deter him from following his hobby. Her personal insecurity is causing her to harbor manipulative behavior and she is solely at fault. Regardless of whether she potentially doesn't feel valued enough and/or is hesitant with intimacy, I cannot condone her abusive ways.
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>"Any attention that you give to yourself is attention that you could give to me!"
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>She feels like I'm more attracted to myself than her which is of course not true.
she probably craves attention, the hobby, the friends or the fetish always get the blame. give her some honest attention.
>Or that i spend more on myself for cloths i can only really wear for sex stuff which also isn't true. I recently spent 250 plus on cloths for her.
it's not about the money, it's about the attention that goes with it!

>I feel like she is rejecting my sexuality because it's a turn off to her but life i said it was clear from the beginning i was a cd.
she's rejecting whatever distracts you from her

>>16927783
drop a fetish? good luck with that! cut down on the time you spend on it? yeah that'd definetly be the best thing to do.

>>16927796
this

>>16927800
very much >>16927809
except, without the spending bit, go do stuff with her! stop buying love and start giving love!
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>>16927817
like >>16927837 said, it's not really about the money. OP said he came into some money recently so I figured it wasn't a big deal. You're correct that she shouldn't be guilting him into gifts, it was more about going and doing something related to his crossdressing together (which, other than going shopping - what would that be?).
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>>16927809
>welp, time to make her feel more valued in the relationship cuz that's the problem.
That is definitely the problem. The OP describe that he spends more money on her and that he spends on himself. Therefore she is the one who should be giving more time and attention to the OP. In an ideal relationship they would spend an equal amount of money on each other. However she doesn't have a job or any income. The OP is spending infinite times more money. In light of this it doesn't matter at all if OP didn't give her anything on valentine's day or any other particular occasion. He is still the primary giver in the relationship. Giving her more is NOT the answer. It makes zero sense to reach this conclusion.
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>>16927855
>That is definitely *not* the problem.
Welp, missing an important word.
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>>16927834
>didn't attend women 101

>>16927860
>>16927855
Whether her valuation is correct or not is an entirely different question. I'm only saying that's the PROBLEM here. OP can make his own determination as to whether X = Y, you can't base a decision like that off of one single small clothes purchase.
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Thanks for the imput guys, helping me see this from a different angle. I definitely need to show he that i value her more.
Someone said take her out more but she has really bad anxiety from her poor self esteem and it's really hard sometimes, even when it's something she really wants to do.
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Ugh I've been trying to ((lowkey)) coax my bf into trying on one of my thongs for like a year now, he wont do it.

Feels bad.
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>>16927935
how to find girls who don't mind guys who do these things?
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>>16927773

Why the fuck are you paying for your gf's clothes?!

Are you married? Is she at home taking care of your children?

Does every guy do that?
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>>16927773
>I recently spent 250 plus on cloths for her. Dresses, lingerie, bras,panties, blowses, shirts, a lot of stuff.
Did she actually want that many clothes?

>>16927800
>Yes, she hasn't had a job for a year or any income.
Maybe it's not the crossdressing, or even an issue of whether you're spending too much on yourself/not enough on her. Maybe there are other things she would rather see the money spent on. Are you keeping up with bills okay? Are you able to have some savings? How come she's not working?

Also, yeah, if you're working and she's not, she probably has a lot more time on her hands than you do. So she may feel neglected. I'd second the other anons saying to spend time with her, but also encourage her to cultivate other friendships.

If you genuinely enjoy spending money on her, maybe give her some walking around money so she can go to coffee or a movie with a friend every now and then. If you're just spending money on her as a justification for spending money on yourself, maybe it's time to rethink your spending habits all around.
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>>16927928
then go do stuff that's not public but does involve you spending time with her, something romantic, preferably that doesn't involve money, go camping or something (yes even in winter).

>>16927959
same as you find other girls, except you gauge their feels ttowards it early on. The ones that are openminded towards other things are generally also more openminded towards this.
Also if you open up about it and not live in the closet that's quite good for a relationship even if she's just "meh ok with it".
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Your sexuality has nothing to do with spending money on clothes that you are merely using to wank off with.

If you need to dress as a woman to get off then no wonder she is feeling unattractive. You keep buying new clothes for herself and buying her lingerie: what is she supposed to think?

That she is enough of a turn on for you as she is?

Truth is that wearing women's pants is a kink, and that shouldn't get in the way of making your partner feel loved and appreciated. Make a real effort to show she makes you fucking horny and not your ridiculous outfit.

To me it sounds like sex with your gf is all about you.
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>>16927989
thanks for the input!

>same as you find other girls, except you gauge their feels ttowards it early on. The ones that are openminded towards other things are generally also more openminded towards this.

what subjects do you think are the most subtle to start with?
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>>16928007
And what if she doesn't make me horny anymore?
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>>16927800
>not getting anything for vday
You didn't even take her to see Deadpool? Seriously though that is why she is mad at you. It really is not that hard to remember Valentine's Day.
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>>16927773
If that's you i would fuck that nohomo
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>girlfriend for SIX YEARS
>not married

Have her find a good Middle Eastern husband
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>>16928093
then find out why that is! is she getting fat or lazy or are you just wanking to much?
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>>16927773

think of it this way, would she be just as mad if you spent the money on yourself for osmething else? either way she is claiming to be upset becuase of your wallet.

also post pics of you in panties op
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>>16927855
The point is not that OP should give more total, the point is he should give more attention and less money. unless she's some russian import bride you can't just bribe her to love you.
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>>16927963
yeah many guys do this

its like a gift, doesnt mean he pays for all her clothing. often my bf will buy me nice food or drinks (im not into clothes much. it's nice to receive lingerie from a man.
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>>16928271

yeah but 250 dollars of clothes? after that if ur gf says you spent too much money on yourself, then shes kinda fucked
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>>16928279
have you been to girlspeak 101?
It isn't about the money at all, it's about the attention that goes to OP;s kink rather than to her. He's allready admitted to not being turned on by her and not getting her something for valentines, he said she thinks he has more fun with his fetish than with her. He thinks buying her stuff solves it, but it all comes down to spending intimate time with her. how is that not entirely clear?
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>>16928292

iread the first post, then some of the later posts, but not every post in between. my bad
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>>16928267
The girlfriend herself discussed the money aspect. The girlfriend herself brings up money in the conversation. The girlfriend herself calls it a problem. It is what the OP wrote. We can only work with what the OP tells us. It is entirely unnecessary to ignore what the OP writes and claim the problem is about attention. We do not need to make up information in order to defend the girlfriend and call the OP wrong.
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>>16928299

supposedly there was a post after the first one that OP went into more detail.

if hes not really turned on by his gf though why not dump her idk
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>>16928301
Regardless of what the OP went into detail into a later post, nothing can make us disregard the first post where the OP describes a fight over crossdressing where the girlfriend brings up money. The OP does not spend excessive money on crossdressing but the girlfriend uses money as an argument to make the OP feel shame and guilt about pursuing his hobby. That much is clear. As for your second sentence, I also think he should dump her but for a different reason. The OP should dump his girlfriend because she has insecurities which cause her to harbor a manipulative behavior that is borderline abusive. People can remain partners despite having different opinions but not when these opinions lead to harmful behavior.
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No woman who is seriously considering settling down with a guy long term wants him to be a fuck boy.
Disgusting. She should lose respect for you and leave you for a normal guy.
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>>16928402
What is this fuckboy?
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>>16928501
it's a slang term that means a lot of different things, but generally is used for a guy that isn't manly or self-sufficient
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>>16929629
That's a manchild, fuckboy is a boy that just wants to fuck
Thread posts: 45
Thread images: 2


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