You just repeated the "Am I dressed well?" question.
There are a few behaviors in men that women claim to like but are a turnoff because they make you appear "gay":
>Bodybuilding, running, swimming, spending a lot of time at the gym, some sports like tennis >Keeping up with fashion and obsessing about hygiene, being "too well dressed", wearing the latest or most fashionable styles and brands, or dressing extravagently
>>16731846 I'm sorry that happened to you. I used to be a waitress so I try to be generous with tips when I can and I hope this experience doesn't scare you from doing it again in the future. She seems like a jelly bitch and you should move on.
How do I tell my gf to lose weight. I love her. But I want to be with someone who I can ask to go out for a 3 mile jog with me. Im really active and love playing around and I really want a girl to play table tennis with. racquetball. basketball. Not good. Just in shape enough to be shitty at these things with me. she 5'5 and weighs 178
>>16732152 I know. But I know that asking someone overweight to be active is far more demanding than asking someone smaller. Like Ive been chubby before. Not FAT but I know just how much even 10 lbs of fat slows you down. Most people cant do a 3 mile jog without at least 2 weeks of practice. Its not hard once your body adapts.
>>16732160 Nah most people have poor running form. Which is why they have bad knees later. Its like doing bad squats in that sense. I find this more common in cross country runners and I hate their running form. I ran track.
>>16731933 >Guy here >Likes girls >Don't workout or dress extravagantly >blunnies looking like I stepped out of a construction zone, darkish jeans, solid blue tee, shaggy HY cut >Hit on by guys randomly >Girls I work with trust in me as a gay friend >For some reason no one can fathom I'm not gay >Hitting on girls has them think I'm gay complimenting them
6'1", 160lbs. How do I fix this? Am I ridiculously attractive? Am I so ugly that I couldn't possibly be straight?
Ive tried asking and no one says why they think that just a "you just look like you would be " Do I need to start working out?
>>16732167 Probably your expression. Like how you smile. A feminine smile is meant to appeal and appease in a cute manner. A manly smile is one that looks as if to dominate the thing in front of him. You smile should be brimming with confidence. Also if your 'attractive' its probably because you look gay and seem to think thats what being attractive is. Men are not attractive in the same way women are.
>>16732164 Since I mentioned running form might as well elaborate. Its harder for women because of the differences in our legs, but generally always make sure your feet are pointed forward when youre running. Theyll feed you some bs about how some people run one way or another but having your feet pointed forward and flicking your feet (to late to think of how I normally describe it) removes a lot of pressure off the knees. It allows it to act much more like a spring since theres no other forces on it except forward. Think high jumpers running form.
>>16732182 I literally don't "dress up". I pull clothes off the clean clothes pile on the floor, shower with some random combination of soaps, hand brush my hair over, walk tall with confidence. I have resting asshole face for the most part. No idea how to consider my smile.
Whats manly for men or common mistakes for men to make to appear gay?
>>16732201 You probably come off as pretty instead of handsome. Also you might walk like a faggot. Resting asshole face is often considered resting bitch face. Do you have a beard. Do you have a rugged exterior. Do you have muscles. Do you have scars. Do you stare people dead in the eyes head held high while talking. Are you inconsiderate of the situation. Do you appear to not give a fuck about aesthetics. The answer to most of those should be yes.
I'm a 5'4 guy and I'm going out with a 5'8 girl on thursday. Yeah, I don't understand it either but this is the situation. I really like her and from what I can infer she's not indifferent to me (we text all day long and calls last for hours), she's a very sweet and beautiful girl and I'm not exactly a model but I'm decent looking and kinda fun to be around from people tell me. Despite all that I understand this will be weird to some degree, so my question is, how can I minimize the awkwardness and make her feel comfortable and more importantly, safe around me?
>>16732211 >Do you have a beard, Do you have a rugged exterior, Do you have muscles, Do you have scars. No. Bad hair aesthetics cause blonde. Don't work out, no cuhrazy scars. Pretty scrawny looking for my height and weight.
>Do you stare people dead in the eyes head held high while talking. Are you inconsiderate of the situation. Do you appear to not give a fuck about aesthetics. Yes. Except for last one maybe. People say I try to look good but I don't. I literally put no effort into my appearance.
I get told I look like a Nazi a lot, my friend sent me a pic saying it could be my long lost grandfather since he looks similar The facial structure is similar. My hair is more straight and more like an unstyled HY.
>>16732247 5'4 guy here. We tell each other a lot of things, laugh and make silly jokes, you know, all the usual stuff, she sends me pictures of her and I do the same sometimes, oh, she literally said I'm like a warm flame in a cold night for her (arts student).
>>16732294 >>16732296 Better haircut ideas then? The HY is the only thing that I've found to work with my face.
>>16732293 So I'm just doomed to looking gay and might be able to fix this with a haircut?
>>16732295 Haircut got it. And the front camera of the Oneplus One is pretty unforgiving, it's got a very small fishbowl effect I think, but I don't want to appear more gay trying to take a perfect picture with the back camera in the middle of the airport.
>>16731735 I want to ask a relationship question here on /adv/. However, I am worried that she may use this site as well and recognize that I am the poster as my question is very specific. I won't state what happened here, but the situation we are in is very special and it has something to do with the country that we are from so I must statr it here (I am from a very small country so it is easy to remember posters from our country on /adv/). Am I being too worried? I remember I used Yahoo Answers back in secondary school and this other classmate recognized me by asking if I like X hobby (as I enjoyed answering questions related to X hobby).
>>16732210 >Guys, how many of you would settle for a FWB with a girl you consider 'below your league' physically because you can't get any better because of your own anxieties with women?
Depends entirely on the guy, his perception of him self, and how desperate he is for sex.
The scenario you mentioned above... thinking back like half a decade or so when I was younger (fresh 20's), inexperienced, and anxious enough with women to not have a sense of my own relative appeal/worth, I probably wouldn't have a FWB at all... I just wasn't comfortable with who I was yet... And after that point... I realized I was attractive and confident enough to not really have to "settle" for anything I didn't want to--because those experiences were always the worst ones.
Anyway, personally... I've only had one FWB, and it was mostly a convenience/drunk thing... but going off my own limited experience and the experiences of those I've seen around me, the only way FWB ever really seems to work out is if both of you don't give too much of a fuck going in, otherwise one of you is going to catch feels, and it probably ends messy. If you're plagued by thoughts of "out of/below your league" that sounds like you're giving more of a fuck than you probably should and might get hurt for it.
>>16732210 actually I'm more likely to dip below my standards (physical) for a relationship then i would be for a FWB. it just seems like a rotten deal to me i guess. i suppose i would rather have a hot lay then an easy lay.
>>16732386 Life is hard, senpai. Ill get a decent haircut and do some working out. I run sometimes but nothing consistent, maybe full body will help. Or just make me seem like a gay bodybuilder. Fuck this gay earth.
>>16732388 I would wear facial hair if I had good genetics for it. My cheeks end up patchy, moustache doesn't connect with chin which doesn't connect with soul patch area. Being blonde means it ends up a dirty blonde with stray black and red hairs thrown in. My posture is literally standing up straight. I can't even stand confidently as a man.
Has any other partner ever made you orgasm? Do you regularly get yourself to orgasm? Do you do anything specific to get yourself to orgasm? Are you helping him get you to orgasm?
Very few girls orgasm through penetration alone, many require self-assistance (partially due to the mental aspect, partially due to them just being more intimately familiar with their own bodies), and some cannot orgasm at all (because of the same reasons I just listed).
>meet girl online in 2013, through a game >she's shy and very prude but we get along well and talk hours a day >finally start dating LDR >introduce her to sex, teach her how to masturbate and how to cum on her own, we masturbate in front of each other a lot etc >long story short, we date for about 1 year, I broke up with her but we keep doing what we were doing until mid 2015 when she started to like a guy at her uni >I tell her I still have feelings for her >she gets very confused and very stressed out about the whole thing but eventually decides to give a chance to the local guy
After she started dating him, she cut off contact with me but started talking again a few weeks later. She has been keeping a secret from her immediate family and from him that we talk. We don't do anything sexual, but we're somehow intimate. Talk for hours on skype, call each other the nicknames we made up when we dated, support each other etc. I'm open to her regarding my feelings for her. Is this a weird relationship? I kind of think it is since she's keeping me a secret. Is this kind of cheating? Wouldn't the guy be mad if he knew?
>>16732529 >Is this a weird relationship? Yes > Is this kind of cheating? Yes. In fact, common consensus seems to be that emotional cheating is a type of cheating women actually tend to find more hurtful than physical (though most guys seem to be more hurt by physical). >Wouldn't the guy be mad if he knew Yes. Duh.
>>16732535 She says she doesn't have the same feelings for me that I have for her, so it's all very friendly, she even says I'm her best friend, so it is a friendship.
Would your answers still be yes to the questions I made?
As a guy, I wouldn't look positively on my girlfriend talking for hours with her ex who introduced her to sex and did all those kinds of intimate things with her, especially if she keeps it a secret from me.
Maybe some other details:
>when she told me she was liking another guy and I said I still liked her, she said that picturing her future without me was associated with hopelessness, but she decided for the local guy after some emotional struggle >I asked her just yesterday if she would like to come visit me when I graduate from uni, she said yes and even suggested a whole bunch of things we could do together (beach, sightseeing, food etc)
Sorry if this sounds very pathetic and teen-tier. I'm very unexperienced with relationships, she was also my first gf even if online. Thanks for the reply anyway.
Mostly for the guys, specially the married ones: do you ADMIRE you partner/SO/wife? How does that interact with your love for them?
For the girls: how would you deal with finding yourself in a relationship where your partner doesn't admire anything in you. It is not that you don't have good things but he doesn't value them very much because they are not important to him. What to do?
>>16732670 Guy here, just started seeing someone. I definitely admire her. She's worked hard in a system she knows is stacked against her, and wants to work beyond it. Also I can't speak her language but she can speak mine quite well.
A roid raging bodybuilder super turbo asshole douchebag who uses you as a fucktoy cumbucket but has no actual feelings towards you except the occasional "you touch my girl and I break your fucking legs you fucking beta faggot".
A kind, loving compassionate 200% Nice guy, who would love you forever and would always be there for you even during the most difficult times and would never abandon you, and is also very good in bed that he could give you a 10 minute long orgasm that makes you literally squirt buckets.
My gf is very sexually repressed and I'm not. It's the first time either of us has been in a relationship and for years before that she avoided finding out about sex because she thought she'd never have a bf. As you've probably guessed from that previous sentence she's quite insecure. She basically thinks sex is gross and embarrassing.
I'm after 2 bits of advice: How can I open her up to the idea that sex is natural and pleasant, rather than something to get embarrassed about? Also should I be trying to do this or should I just accept the way she is? I feel like she's cutting herself off from a fairly significant part of life by being like this.
How can I control my frustration in this situation? I don't think this is a big enough problem to merit breaking up. Other reasons to stay with her outweigh the lack of sex.
>>16732815 My bf is a muscley guy. Everybody thinks that he is a Chad Thundercock because its appearance, but he is the nicest and kindest person you'll ever met, and I love him a lot because I like nice and kind guys.
A little advice for you anon, don't believe in these stupid tropes.
Do you realize that you fuck with guys emotions pretty easily sometimes?
I met a girl a few weeks ago. End up really liking her. I open myself up to her (something I've never been able to do in the past). She told me that she likes me, but after a bad breakup doesn't want anything. Next thing you know. She's back with her ex. I'm fucking pissed off and confused. I feel vulnerable. Like I open myself up, show a side of me no one has seen. She likes it, yet goes back to her shitty ex? What the fuck. This hurts
>>16732965 No, you mean you're too inclined to assume things and draw opinions based on the opinions of others, rather than doing your own research and getting to know each personal individually before passing judgment.
It's just bullshit because I asked her out. And she told me that she cares a ton about me, and I'm very important to her. But she said she just wanted to be free and didn't want a relationship at this time with anyone because of her past one. Over the past few weeks we've been flirting and talking everyday. She sometimes even hand draws me pictures of us hanging out together, or 1 time drew a picture of a guy and girl hugging and wrote "Me" and "You" on them. Then I find out she hooked up with her ex last night and now they are thinking of trying again.
I'm seriously pissed off .
You know what. I quit. I am done with girls. I'm just going to force myself to think like they don't exist anymore.
I have more or less been in love (or in love with the idea of being with her) with this girl for like 8 years. I don't believe I'm going to end up with her anymore (we used to be close friends now we barely talk). I've sort of accepted I won't be with her but I have had this incredible sadness thrust upon me for years, I just want this feeling to go away.
>>16732971 Dating people and socializing could be difficult for me since I tend to take some things too seriously and too literally, and I can't help it either.
I don't know if its because of my dyslexia or some shit, but it is really fucking depressing to get shooed off for something I can't help but to live with it, and its not like my condition can be cured or some shit.
Well this is the thing. I haven't been looking for a girlfriend. Like over the past 3 years I haven't cared for a girlfriend. But me and this girl ended up meeting and becoming friends. And I developed feelings for her. Feelings I've never felt before in my life (I'm 25). So it just kind of happened. I've never really cared about dating girls before. But I really want (wanted?) to date this girl. she's unknowingly been helping me through a really hard spot in my life. I just really like her. I'm a very closed off person, but she was able to open me up emotionally. So I did. granted, we weren't dating, so she can do what she wants. But it really fucking hurts that she's been so kind and caring for me. Drawing pictures of us hugging and flirting. Then goes back to her ex after she already knows that I really like her.
Am i the only dude that almost completely lose interest for a girl if said girl does something really embarassing / cringe-worthy ? Like when a girl does something embarassing in front of people, says something really stupid, etc. I'm not even saying that in a condescending way, i feel really bad for the girl but it always makes me cringe so hard i can't feel any attraction for her.
Is that weird ? My friends tell me i'm nitpicking but i don't know
Isn't healthy for him -and me- to still texting? We had a kinda LDR thing for about a year, but we need to stop because he wasn't sure of returning to our country (we are both from the same country, we never meet in person before but we had some irl friends in common. We became more closer and intimate when he was there) and he says that it's better to focus on our own lives but he doesn't want to lose contact with me. He even said that it would be amazing if we can meet irl someday, and anything could happen in the future. Now we are talking like friends and stuff but the truth is that I still like him a lot, and that isn't fair for him. I'd really want him to be happy, and I feel I'm interfering in his life.
>>16733047 Depends on what type of embarrassing / cringe-worthy action they do.
If something embarrassing or awkward happens to her or if she does something that ends up being embarrassing it doesn't matter as long as she handles it well. If they start wallowing in it then I'd lose some interest as embarrassing shit happens to everyone, just get over it.
Now if they say or do something that's embarrassing / cringe-worthy because it shows their lack of education or that they're openly racist or something around those lines then yeah I'll lose all romantic interest in them. And there's no way of coming back from there.
>girlfriend and I are definitely spending Valentine's Day together >no concrete plans yet besides probably going out to dinner >have previously talked about the idea of getting a hotel room or something to be alone >she's mentioned she doesn't have class or work the day after either >sent me a screenshot of her facebook on one of those "which one did you land on" gifs that says: "On valentines day you'll be ______" >she landed on "having wild sex" (worth noting that we haven't had sex yet) >we share a laugh about it >I say "Now you got me thinking haha ;)" >"No" >"what?" >"No, I know what you're thinking lmao" >topic of conversation changes quickly I'm so confused is she trying to have sex on valentine's day or what? I know I'm probably jumping off the deep end here and could just wait it out and see but I just have a wondering mind.
>>16733165 i definitely want to feel like my man is happy i'm by his side. i want to feel like i'm actually making his life more enjoyable. not in a "i need you because you are the one with the money/car/house/pussy" way. more in a "you are the place i can let my guard down" way.
>>16733203 well, if he would hang on to me and tell me that his life was empty and sad and worthless without me it would definitely make me worry. but then again, i wouldn't date a guy that's fucking miserable all the time. it's normal that you get lonely and perhaps even sad if you don't have somebody that makes you feel wanted and loved. but if you are miserable in every aspect, a partner won't solve this.
It was literally every single text. My nuts would ache so bad by the end of the night. I really cared am still do care about her, but she hurt me recently, over something I might be making a bigger deal out of it than it is. But I am not sure. So I haven't had any boners the past few days. :/
>>16732381 You have a bad haircut. And your face is too large for your scrawny body. I looks like youre smaller than your default size and never touched a weight in your life. Some gay people do. haircut and wear baggier clothing until you bulk up enough to fill them out.
Tbh. It's my own fault. But I really got attached to this girl. Met the nicest, cutest girl ever online. Befriend her (at the time she had a boyfriend) Talk everysingle day for 4 months. Meet her and have a fantastic time together (she broke up I think 2 weeks before we met IRL). We just hung out as friends had a great time. The night I had to leave. I cried for the first time in roughly 10 years. I told her my feelings, she just explained she isn't ready for a relationship. Continue talking the past few weeks things getting better and better. Lately our conversations have turned more intimate. A lot more intimate. Seems like she's really starting to like me. Well, she started spending time with her ex in the recent weeks. And it's just stirred some irritation within me I guess. I don't own her obviously. But since we are not dating right now. I'm worried she will have sex with him. It just really hurts if you think the girl you feel for is having sex with another person.
Like I said, I probably brought this on my self. And in reality it may be nothing.
Girls, so a few weeks ago, I was ay my Young Adult Group and there was this girl there. I noticed she was looking at me and smiling, she was basically showing interest, but I noticed too late. So I just added her on facebook and got her number. She's back at college now, and her campus is about 90 minutes away. We've been talking about everyday. Is it possible, I could spitball the idea to her that I could show up to campus when she's not busy and we could hang out? She's really cool and I want to pursue something. What should I do?
your first mistake was to think a girl that texts with a guy she met online every day for 4 months despite having a bf is worth your time. she's not as good as you think she is. and the fact that she has some kind of on-off thing with her ex is really offputting. you would be extremely better off to move on as soon as possible.
I don't know if she's had sex with him. I just know they hang out. But she dumped him. So maybe they are just friends?
It's hard to move on without cutting complete contact. She messages me a lot. She cares about me. We have we have a bunch of inside jokes and she does cute things for me. I was in a bad place just a few months ago. Like really bad. But this girl pulled me out of it. She has been really positive for me the past few months. If I broke contact. She would be hurt badly too. She's told me before that she is very fond of me, and I'm a important person to her. I just don't know what to do.
I said this last night "but, yeah as you already know. I like you. So knowing you hang out with your ex boyfriend, which is someone who you were romantically with in the past. It creates a bit of pressure, which adds jealousy. So maybe now you are just like normal friends and that's all (I hope it's this one), or maybe you all have a little bit more going on too. which isn't really my business, but like you said. It's only natural for me to be at jealous."
Her response was "Yes, Of course. I understand :)" so I don't really know what that means.
Girls: What determines if a guy is potential romantic partner or just a friend?
Meeta girl through a friend, only hung out a few times at bars or parties. It seems like she's into me. Laughs at my jokes, flirts with me, lots of touching on the hand, the arm, the thigh, etc. We start texting a few weeks ago, turns into an everyday thing. Asked if she wanted to do something this past Saturday. She's already got plans but texts me the entire night. Yesterday she asks me what I'm doing and if I wanted to see a movie. I pick her up, the movie she wants to see starts an hour later than I pick her up so we head to the local park, sit on a bench and talk. Topic of conversation heads toward past relationships (we have talked about this in the past) and she seems interested in the reason why I stopped talking to one girl in particular, I'm hesitant to broach the subject as it's a date and all but she's adamant. So we talk about it and soon we have to head to the movie. The entire time I'm cracking jokes, she's laughing, I catch her looking at me sometimes as well, think things are going well. Right before the movie starts Valentine's day get's brought up and she casually drops that she has a date for Valentine's. In the context of the situation it seemed like a joke, but when I press for more info, she actually goes into some detail. Oh shit, it wasn't a joke. So now I'm thinking, holy shit, this isn't a date wtf. The movie starts and we talk here and there, make her laugh sometimes, but obviously no major conversations. She doesn't try to move closer to me or snuggle up or anything. Movie ends, now I'm trying to figure out if we're on a date so I drop a not so smooth line akin to "So now you got to think of ideas for our next date." She replies "you mean like the next movie?" All I want is an acknowledgement that this was a date and get nothing.
What did I do wrong here? How did I get friend zoned so quick? Was she never interested?
>>16733346 god damn she is playing with you hard. i normally don't like that word but she's is absolutely cucking you. tell her to get her shit together or you will cut contact. you are worth somebody that isn't so wishy washy.
Ask her if you can visit for a day to hang out. You should bluntly ask her out. Don't imply romance, just tell her what you want.
>>16733165 I'm more clingy and dependent. I would need a guy to show that he loves and needs me. It can be from a good morning text to a eskimo kiss. I need a sign of everyday, sex usually works the best. Sex can get boring if it happens everyday though.
>>16733128 I wouldn't ask her. That might make her feel pressured (it's irrational, but can happen). Try to initiate sex in the hotel room, if you want to.
>>16733111 I say it's a little weird. I only get turned on if the guy is goodlooking, we are flirting/sexually talking, or I haven't had an orgasm in 3 days.
>>16733367 that was a real plot twist there anon. she sounds shady af. maybe she just want's to make you jealous and play hard to get. maybe she thinks that you are out of her league or vice versa. either way she's behaving suspicious and i would be confused too. i don't really know what would be the best thing to do in such a situation. maybe just be honest? text her that you aren't suer aou are on the same page anymore. that you really enjoyed your time together but aren't sure that it had the same value to her as it did to you. tell her that it was - in fact - a date for you and that you need to know what her take on this is.
>>16733378 well, she dumps her bf and still hangs out with him. she tells YOU about it even thought she knows that you have a soft spot for her. she uses you as an emotional tampon and gives you vague shit in return to keep you guessing and on a short leash. girls that can't make a clear cut when breaking up with somebody almost always have a lot of issues and scream drama and crazy. and the fact that she neede yuor validation whilst in a relationhip with somebody else tells me that she is an insecure attentionseeker.
>>16733309 >what happened to her sexuality? At some point as a teenager, she decided to avoid ever finding out about sex, because she thought she'd never get a bf and therefore never need to know. I'm surprised that she never felt any urges and was never intrigued by random bits of info about it that she accidentally picked up. She's never touched herself and can't see the appeal. She used to avoid conversations about it before we met and gets very embarrassed when I bring it up. The other day she managed to say the word "sex" out loud to me for the first time, except she spelled it out "S-E-X". She covers her eyes when there's a sex scene in a film and the first few times we went to art galleries together she couldn't look at the nudes, but more recently she's getting over that. It's very strange, she seems to genuinely have no understanding of sex or its appeal. For example she couldn't get her head around the way sex-appeal is used in advertising when it came up once. I guess maybe she finds the idea so embarrassing that she can't bring herself to consider it.
>do you kiss and cuddle? how intimate is your relationship otherwise? We kiss and cuddle a lot. She enjoys it and feels compelled to kiss me, but she doesn't know why. We've been feeling each other up recently, but I'm not convinced she really enjoys doing it to me and she says it feels uncomfortable when I make her wet. Before we met, she knew almost nothing about male anatomy. I had to explain which bits are my balls and which bit my foreskin is because she'd heard the names but couldn't figure it out.
>>16733409 what you said is that guys that aren't playing into the classical understanding of handsome can't get somebody romanticaly interested in them. and that's clearly not true. or how would you explain all those butt-ugly babies?
>>16733410 ooooh. i thought she's 17 at best. whoa dude. you go and delete that immature thing right now. and you... you go and grow up a bit before you fall for such dumb girls ever again. you aren't 18 anymore.
What if she is having sex with someone on the side? Or what if she has intense sexual history and doesn't want you to learn it? It almost sounds like something a Reddit or /soc/ whore would do in order to cover another life
>>16733450 i didn't say i would date a bad looking guy. but maybe a guy that i think is good looking would be "bad looking" in the eyes of another girl. also, there are girls with lower standarts, so there's that.
>>16732670 >do you ADMIRE you partner/SO/wife? How does that interact with your love for them?
Sure. I guess you could say it's a trend that I only truly fall for girls I admire in some way-- I've only had two. My first love inspired the hell out of me and just meeting her helped me figure out a lot of things in my own life (that admiration eventually grew in to more, and even not having seen or talked to her at all in a few years, I still admire and respect her. ).
My girlfriend strength of character is also something I really admire. She's infinitely compassionate in a way that is truly touching when life's not at all given her much reason to be. Being around her sometimes just makes me want to be a nicer person like she is.
In a way I guess I sometimes admire the qualities I lack and strive to attain, so I feel like being around those people it become a better person.
>>16733047 >Am i the only dude that almost completely lose interest for a girl if said girl does something really embarassing / cringe-worthy ?
*shrug* I'm pretty sure a lot of (most probably) girls feel the same way about guys.
Personally, if I already like them, IDGAF. But it takes a shit for me to actually be interested in a girl in any serious regard. Like I probably won't even remember their name unless we have a serious conversation at some point where we form a connection and I found something they said intriguing
.>>16733091 >Why so many people subscribe to this idea that "we should do everything to fix the relationship"?
For some of the more fundamental things at the start of a relationship, sure, maybe it's better to let go, but a lot of times, problems--especially in a long term relationship--stem from simple, completely basic and fixable misunderstandings/dearths of communication.
>>16733469 if she's really into you she won't bother hanging out with her bf and giving you half ass answers. she'd want meet you and spend time with you. and she'd beager to push the relationship to the point where you're official.
I have been talking to this guy for about a week or so. Last night he came up to visit me at work (I work in a bar). He had a few beers and shots and I sat with him talking when I could, then went to walk with him outside when he left. He was leaning on this pole and said, "I'd give you a hug, but I don't want to get you dirty." (He had just finished work) So I said I don't mind getting a little dirty (haha, knowing we were going to kiss) and we did..... But it was bad. Like weird, kind of pursed lips, then suddenly tongue everywhere and finally I turned my head and finished the hug, said I had to keep it kind of PG because I was outside of my job. But what do you think.... Kissing is pretty important to me. Maybe it was just his nerves? The alcohol? We are supposed to go for dinner on Sunday, so should I see if it's better if he calms down a bit? Or just pull out now before more days and feelings get involved. Any hope for bad kissers, people?!
>>16733474 you just played into the "you need to look like a greek god to get a girl" mindset and you know it. don't try to denie it. however, i get your point and i don't mind if you get mine. so consider this conversation closed.
>>16733479 go for the date. cut him some slack. also, there's always hope for "bad kissers". if you end up in a relationship you can still tell him what you like more and what you don't really like that much.
>Shit, I hadn't thought of this but it kind of makes sense. She's very particular about certain things, like she's a picky eater and she absolutely hates direct sunlight
It was just a thought that popped into my head. I could be completely wrong. So don't go off this unless you have evidence. It just came to my mind because I fapped to LegendaryLootz on Reddit. I imagine that girl lives a double life. One in person, and one on the sexual side of the internet
Id be more worried about chemistry than bad kissing technique, but I guess I'm just sensitive to that kind of stuff.
I say this as a dude that's kissed girls that have left me lightheaded almost purely off taste and smell, has kissed girls that felt like I was kissing a sister, and has even kissed dudes (and felt an amusing amount of absolutely nothing. It's weirdly like a void of total boringness kissing other dudes.)
>>16733486 I guess I'll give Sunday a try. Kissing is a huge turn on for me, so when we finally got to it and it turned out like that I was pretty bummed. Kinda makes the spark fizzle a bit. But I guess I'll try and stay positive til Sunday.....
yeah, you're telling me, completely spun me the other way when she said she had a date for Valentines. Like I said, I thought it was a joke because she asked me if I had a date, I said no, but I was working on it and smiled at her. Pretty obvious hint there, no? She says she has a date with a bottle, I laugh and say so maybe we should share one that day she laughs and says maybe after my date. I laugh and was like, so who is it? And then shes like oh some dude I met recently, nothing serious, he said he's gonna take me for dinner. I was like oh ok..and kind of drift off as the movie started right that second. That put me off, but I was still thinking this is a date and hence did my best to make her laugh and keep some semblance of conversation. It was later on the drive home which really put the nail in the coffin. Not acknowledging the date is one thing, but we talked a bit in the car and she mentioned how the dude she's meeting for Valentine's isn't serious and it's just some guy and that she isn't looking for anything serious, she wants to enjoy her 20s and she doesn't want to fall in love. I can't tell if this is bullshit or not because some of our convos in the past have revolved around how we both hate random hookups and something more real is more fulfilling. I told her I could see myself in something long term and blah blah random convo. I wanted to end that night by kissing her, but by the end of that conversation it was not in the cards at all.
I'm gonna try to see if we can meet up this weekend, alone or with friends (seems like there's no difference anyway -_-) and I'll tell her straight up that I thought that movie night was a date and that I feel a certain way and to let me know if those feelings can be reciprocated. If not, then I'll drop it. I just don't want to be left on the hook, catching feelings for no future, you know? I figure being adult and straight to the point is the better option.
>>16733525 Lightheaded off of taste and smell, that's the kind of thing I like ^_^ Which was lacking here. Anywho, I'll give it another go! He had come to visit after a long work day, had a few beers, was probably nervous... You're right. Thanks, Anon
why does my boyfriend watch porn and pictures of other girls when im objectivly more attractive and willing to/wanting to have sex several times a day (we only do it like once a week because hes too busy jerking it to miley cyrus and incest) he also claims to love me
How common is a missed/very late period? I'm almost certain she's not pregnant, taken a few tests already and they've all been negative and she claimed to have taken them at the properly suggested time and followed everything correctly. Also showing no other signs of pregnancy.
This girl I like is acting weird. She wants to hang out but she rarely talks about her personal life. And if I ask her questions about stuff like that she answers but after that she quickly changes the subject. Also if I walk past her and there's other people around and look at her, she's always looking in a different direction and pretending like she doesn't notice me. I don't get it.
>>16733591 I agree with you, but they way anon describes makes it seem like her boyfriend rather just fap and maybe have sex with her.
>>16733586 I would feel hurt and ask him to have more sex with me. Maybe cut his porn back or tell him not to do it while you guys are hanging out.
>>16733573 Don't get the room if the discussion went nowhere, it was probably a joke. Maybe your girlfriend is just teasing you? Depending on how young you are she may not be ready for sex. There is nothing wrong with that, but you don't have to stay with her if it bugs you.
>>16733597 Maybe she is nervous? That is weird behavior. Ask her on a date? She will tell you what feelings she has for you.
>>16733616 I am young and have had several men persue me but the girls he looks at arent very attractive anyway and theyre not pornstars theyre usually unattractive celebrities see miley cyrus or just weird shit like cucking hentai and incest normally id be ok with him jacking it once in a while but not instead of having sex with me and some of the things hes looking at are very disturbing >>16733617 I would do pretty much anything and >subjective attractiveness if he didnt find me attractive why would he be with me in the first place
>>16733622 I suggested the room, she at first said it was a really romantic idea. Then a few weeks later she mentioned that if her parents found out (we're both 18, almost 19) they'd be pretty pissed. And she has had sex before, mentioning that most of the time it was a rushed mistake. Maybe that has something to do with it, because we're both really into each other and doesn't want to ruin anything we have? (real talk: I love this girl so I'm not trying to force her into sex, but it's definitely a step I feel ready to take)
>>16733670 The only thing that keeps coming up in my head is if she was so ready to jump in bed with guys she hadn't known too long but won't with me after dating intensely for a few months then what does that mean? Does that say something about me?
>>16733295 I dont know. I cant tell when she cums from a finger. Like she says she does but that might be just to get me to stop. I can feel it when she does on my dick. Maybe its just because the girths are so different. >>16733303 She enjoys it, i enjoy it. But she might not want it all the time. >i have the urge to constantly play with my bf's dick I only complain to my gf when she tries to play with me in public and I have to tell her that I cant hide a boner. incidentally, she apparently gets wet from me playing with her in public. Not just fingering her but groping and has to carry multiple pairs of undies. Am I just going too far.
>>16733636 There really isn't an easy way to bring it up. However if you plan your relationship to last you gotta be able to talk about things. Even things that aren't easy to talk about. So there's no point trying to beat around the bush, just go straight to the point.
>anon we need to talk about your porn habits What about them >i feel like you watch it too much and neglect my sex drive But I don't watch too much porn/i don't have a problem with it >since it's having an effect on our sex life there clearly is a problen here. I don't mind you watching porn every now and then but I feel neglected when you do it while I'm around. Especially because I'd like to have sex with you and instead of doing that you fortify yourself to the bathroom to masturbate and leave me hanging. O-ok. What do you want me to do? (this is the ideal case, let's be honest he's gonna keep arguing how he isn't addicted) >would you be up for a nofap of 1-3 months to see if things get better. Remind him that you're up for sex on a daily basis.
>>16733698 You should at least tell them. They might assume its an exclusive thing and you risk them from stds that you might get. Dont listen to the people who will tell you that you must state exclusivity. Thats just a shitty rule used to ignore guilt and the pain you caused the other. If you want to sleep around with others you should say so.
I work in an office complex where a lot of small companies are based. There is a girl my age who enters my office maybe three times a day to print things off. I have been very attracted to her for some time now, but since I'm a very quiet guy and don't really get a chance to speak to her, I haven't spoken to her beyond her asking me on two separate occasions some question about something she needed help with (printer had no paper, and the older guy who oversees the building wasn't in work). She is very attractive in a "cute" way. I don't like evaluating my own physical attractiveness, but a couple of very pretty girls have liked me in the past few years.
Would it be autistic or "creepy" if, in passing this girl along the stairwell one day, I say: "Hey, can I ask you something? Do I seem like a boring person to you?"
I want to ask this because at first this girl may have been curious about me (I'm hoping), though I accept that since I showed no signs of being attracted to her (I'm pretty closed off and good at concealing my emotions) she may have concluded that I wasn't interesting but just dull etc.
Any advice here would be great because she's pretty much the only reason I haven't quit my job, and I really don't want to look back on this period of my life with regret for not speaking to her. I've avoided making moves on other girls and felt glad about it in retrospect, but this girl appeals to me in a way I can't articulate except at length.
>>16733698 fwb's kind of suggests that you aren't exclusive. i would find it extremely gross to sleep with somebody that is also sticking his dick into other girls. i guess that's why fwb's is not my thing
>if she was so ready to jump in bed with guys she hadn't known too long but won't with me after dating intensely for a few months then what does that mean?
Don't get paranoid anon. She has finally found someone she wants to date seriously. She probably doesn't want to skip all the lovey-dovey stuff or rush this relationship.
>Does that say something about me?
I think all it says about you is that you are patient and don't get bother by her history. If this is really bothering you, tell her. She can't fix the past, but it's best to hear your concerns in a logical manner instead of bursting out.
Of course, there may be a point when her abstinence can be straining. If it comes, don't sacrifice your happiness constantly. You seem to be doing ok and act like a good boyfriend. Don't worry not too much.
Having had my share of one night stands and even FWB, on paper and in practice I want to say I wouldn't care at all, because that's what a FWB is--not a relationship.
But, I'm also not going to say I've never suddenly felt a micro-twinge/flash of jealousy on seeing a FWB hookup with someone else right in front of me. It lasted all of ten seconds before I realized what the fuck the emotion even was, then I just laughed, got over it, and moved on.
My situation is the following: I have a crush on one of my flatmates. I feel really attracted to her physically and, unfortunately, she seems to have a lot of traits that I really like in women. I say "unfortunately" because for very complicated reasons, I could not openly hit on her (very messy situation, but basically, her+me = forbidden). Still I couldn't help but try to get close to her and because I really didn't know how to handle that situation, I might have acted creepy. You know, basically, she must have realized somehow that I'm interested, yet I never showed my true intentions (because I couldn't) and acted completely differently and fake.
She moves out soon. At this point, I don't really think it makes sense to try to keep the contact with her or anything because of the above situation. What I *would* like to do is come clean and more or less tell her what was going on the whole time and ... I don't know ... be at least honest to her and myself before she leaves. How can I do that?
Basically, the question is: if you live together with a guy who has acted a bit creepy on you (as in: he was acting strange around you and you had the impression that he is interested in you), and the guy tries to talk to you about it, what would you appreciate/like to hear and what not? I want to do this without making her uncomfortable and without talking myself down and making myself look like an idiot.
Girl I like is brushing off questions I've asked her that we previously discussed. We talked about taking a vacation before. I asked her if she would like to go to Austria. And she said "well, I have a friend in Austria. If you want to go there, I can talk to her for you! :)". That irritates me because it seems like she doesn't want us to go on a vacation anymore, although it was clear before. She's been doing this a lot lately and it's depressing me. But I can't stop thinking about her. I work Fulltime but always think about her at work. And when I'm off. I'm usually to tired to do anything so she's always on my mind.
I just don't understand. If she doesn't want to take a trip with me. Why won't she say it? She's talked to me about how I am special to her and make her feel happy. But she's been skipping these questions about a trip. What the hell
>>16734056 yeah i would. on a side note, the brief breakup is a red flag that i put up with and got decimated by in the long run though. 5 years of my life gone, and more if you count the year of depression that has followed
>>16734046 i've learned not to do this, and fucked my life over by doing this every time. if you love someone you should try until it is no longer fair to yourself to keep trying, but definitely not until your spirit is broken
>go to parties >hardly ever noticed or picked for dancing >try tinder >matches not interested in conversation or stop responding after a text or two >never hit on
I don't see myself as a wallflower, have no problem with carrying a conversation, being okay with meeting new people, making my groups of friends laugh, etc. Still, men seem to go for all women but me in majority of situation and I am never someone's first choice. How can I change this?
>inb4 just ask him out yourself tried that and it is not what the question here is about
>>16734131 not fat I am quite skilled with my makeup and I look better wearing it. Never noticed guys choosing girls with no makeup over those with makeup- quite the opposite. >>16734140 I have a nice body already, I don't see how working out can provide that big of a difference (especially since you are obviously clothed when you first meet someone)
Guys, My boyfriend is more introverted with a low libido. We have been having problems with this since fall. Over break was good, when he wasn't stressed and well rested. My heart hurts and it's hard to keep talking about this.
I'm not hanging out with him for a few days (planned on having dinner with friends). My feelings for him are getting weaker. It just feels like he wants to hang out with me less and have less sex. Why date someone who only wants to see/sex you when HE wants to see/sex you? It seems very selfish.
>>16734177 That could be the case but I dont really know how to seem like more approachable ( as i said i usually try to seem interested and get conversation going once it is there, try to act nice etc)
Maybe try to be more flirty? Body langauge is important. You can talk all you want. But if you are stiff it won't make you see very open. Use a lot of body language and touching I guess. It would make you seem more open.
Question for girls, but experienced guys might also be able to answer.
There's a girl I really, really like at work. She's beautiful in a very wife-material way. Subtle on make-up, puffy brown hair with blonde highlights, someone that just melts your heart.
I saw her the other day and she's changed a lot. She dyed her hair darker, has bright red lipstick and is thicker on the make-up. She looks straight up dangerous and frankly intimidating...the cute is dialed down in favor of the sexy and my heart doesn't race anymore when I see her. I feel like the girl I fell in love with disappeared.
Am I just a weirdo, is that kind of look objectively more attractive?
i understand, which is why words get to be so trivial after enough thought. basically, it comes down to common sense. every relationship involves sacrifices, but only you can know whether or not a relationship is fair in terms of your mental and physical health
as far as your boyfriend, he sounds self-centered and in it for himself more than both of you =/. it's hard to know without a lot of details but if it's causing your feelings to get weaker, that's a sign you need to address this with him and potentially end it if he isn't willing or capable to change
>>16734168 He's stressed because he's probably working on a degree that's actually hard and meaningful (such as engineering). What you need to understand is that not everyone can just yolo around and major in dipshit studies or psychology.
See, he's thinking about the future so he's working hard to get a good job. What people like you need to understand (not just women, any short sighted retard who goes to college and majors in something worthless or thinks sliding by with Cs is good enough), is that people like him need to channel their fucking focus and energy to get through semesters.
Rest assured he's going to be back to his old happy self, maybe even better, once he's done with college.
With that said. You have two options, and it relates to the marshmallow test.
1. You can be rational and wait until he's done to claim a big prize. 2. You can be impulsive and break it off, get short term gratification, then wonder why your life sucks at 30.
>>16734195 looks aren't objective in terms of attractiveness. she's expressing who she is, and this other side of her that you're seeing isn't something that is appealing to you. it really does take a long time to get to know someone, but by how they dress you can get to know something
>>16734201 i worked my ass off and dedicated myself to getting a 4.0 in attempts to help afford an apartment for my gf, i, and our several pets. she was always negative about her shit going on and i was dealing with a ton of shit outside of school and her too, so i had to keep my distance to not go insane. she ends up leaving me before even talking to me about it and trying to hear me out and felt like shit after we talked about it later on
>>16734210 Reason I made that post is because your story is all too fucking common.
Personally, I avoided this shit a mile away and never dated anyone in college. I feel regretful because I missed out a lot of my youth, but all those retards are now deadbeats and I'm making 6 figures.
>>16734209 she already knows enough anon. if you make a conversation out of this even with what she doesn't know, it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable. and besides, actions speak louder than words. just behave how you feel you should and skip the confrontation
>>16734232 She implied they go to college (semesters). She implied he's stressed.
Only thing she didn't imply is that his degree has any value. However, judging from the previous implications, those implications implied that.
I'm not mad at her, I'm disappointed at how stupid and short sighted everyone around me is. If that guy just stopped caring she has all right to leave him, but she should fucking talk to him first about it.
>>16734236 Why should she change her whole look because some random guy liked different one? Wouldnt it be better who go for guys who are not intimidated and find her attractive the way she wants them to?
>>16734244 What if the guy simply has lower libido/romantic needs and always will? They will not get more compatible over time (since his will just go lower). Why should she wait years to finally learn that instead and then break up anyway?
Girls will change based off guys. One of my friends started dating friend amongst our group. Before the girl used to be very conservative and just look normal. After they started dating she starting dress in and grooming different. Like she was trying to appear "sexier".
I feel it's just the problems coming up again and again.
>end it if he isn't willing or capable to change
He is capable of change. He has quit smoking. I think it's me that needs to change or get used to it.
Thank you for your advice!
>>16734201 He does have a hard major and is working hard. I don't have a meaningless major and aiming to attend grad school. I'm not asking for all his focus. All I went is to have dinner and/or sex every two days or so. That gives him 21 hours to himself.
>Rest assured he's going to be back to his old happy self, maybe even better, once he's done with college.
I hope so, but with our possible LDR next year I fear for our relationship.
>impulsive and break it off I think having problems for 4 months isn't very impulsive. I feel I'm being reasonable feeling that your relationship sour. Assuming my life would be shitty if I left this guy is kindof unreasonable. He has problems, I have problems, and there maybe compatibility issues. Reconsidering my relationship isn't stupid, it's rational.
>>16734253 If that were the case I would agree with you.
However, from what she said regarding how things were "ok during break", you can assume that it's because of the semester.
With all that said, I would like more information regarding the situation just to be sure I'm not being irrational.
It's important to distinguish whether the guy went limp dick because he went gay or if he's channeling his penis energy into his brain. That's up to femanon to figure out, and we can't help her with that unfortunately.
>>16734176 I did once. Exhausting day and this friend of a friend texts me, asking if I wanted to join her for a beer. > Politely decline > Tell her I'm in need of rest > Being too aspie to try to reschedule > Beating myself for it ever after
Oh well, we had this fling a couple of years down the line, so I guell you could say we caught up eventually.
Last year I met this cute girl in my class. I crushed hard over her and later noticed she liked me too. But I didn't do anything because I was always too anxious/nervous around her and eventually l lost contact with her when the class ended. Recently, I met her again in one of my classes. At first, she seemed excited to see me again. But then in the next class, she seemed distant, almost ignoring me and I think she avoids me in class.
It's safe to say she's still mad at me for not doing anything, but is there any reason for the sudden mood shift? Would it be wrong to confront her and tell her how I felt just for closure or should I just let it be?
>>16734265 Thank you I feel like I have a better grasp now.
I understand what you want, and I feel for both of you, but you need to understand that even sex might be asking for too much. Ejaculating takes away mental focus for exams. Even spending time with others, breaking a small routine, takes away focus.
If he's spending his free time with friends, doing anything remotely fun outside the house, or jacking off to porn, then make it clear you have the right to have his attention, and by all means feel free to rip his dick off.
However, if he's coming home just to watch some TV he needs that to recharge. I was like that, I needed time to recharge and clean my head alone. I brushed off a lot of things, I did rituals just to get through, I saw my friends drop out one by one because they couldn't torture themselves as much as I could.
Make it clear that you're sacrificing a lot either way, and if he's genuinely appreciative of that he'll sacrifice a little more for you in the short term, and will treat you as a goddess in the long term once he's done jumping through bullshit hoops placed to filter out tryhard retard wannabes.
You are friends with a guy. You know that he likes you, because he's told you. You accept it and explain you don't want a relationship with anyone at this time for reasons. Weeks later, your conversations go from just friendly, to talking about cuddling and some other stuff that is more intimate. If the guy messaged you and asked "i have a question for you. Answer honestly, but what do you think of me?". Would you lie, or be honest?
I just feel confused. When she first told me she doesn't want to date, I told her that as her friend, I respect her desicion and I won't pressure like other guys do. And she really liked that. So I don't want to just ask again. But I honestly want to know if she's starting to really like me or not.
>>16734311 >If he's spending his free time with friends
He doesn't spend much time with friends, but I have noticed him watching porn recently. Its hurt my pride that 80% of the time I'm ready for him, but he doesn't want me.
>However, if he's coming home just to watch some TV he needs that to recharge.
I understand that, if I don't get my music playing in I would be angry.
>Make it clear that you're sacrificing a lot either way, and if he's genuinely appreciative of that he'll sacrifice a little more for you in the short term, and will treat you as a goddess in the long term once he's done jumping through bullshit hoops placed to filter out tryhard retard wannabes.
This makes me feel much better. He was great over break. Having sex everyday (kindof got tiresome), cuddling with me, and making meals together. I'm excited to be dating him after he graduates. I'm worry about the real world. A job and possibly children can be stressful.
Thank you for the advice anon and others. I have to go fencing now. Peace.
We do flirt. All the time. Like we are texting right now. And she asked me to send her baby pictures because she's curious what I looked like as a baby. She said "if you do I will give you a big kiss, and tons of cuddles when we meet again!! <heart eye emoji x5> Pleeeaaaaseee!!!"
Note-we don't live close by each other. But we have solid communication, well, other then this part
This is the suffering poor couples have to go through because a bunch of retard yolofags who aren't going to amount to anything decide to go to college and get straight Cs just to make competent people have to work harder so they won't have to associate themselves with trash like you.
I'm kind of an asshole. Narcissistic and I really get trapped in my line of thinking that I'm correct. How do I fix this? I really want to takes steps to be a more understanding person. I feel like my viewpoint is limited due to my personality.
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.