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how do you become interested in other people and learn how to

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Thread replies: 22
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how do you become interested in other people and learn how to enjoy socializing
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>>16620578
Orgies
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Look up rsdtyler on YouTube. Guy is a boss who started off as basically autistic but now is somewhat decent at socialising.
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>>16620578
Learn the hard way like everybody else who has lived and died on this planet.
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>>16620578
You don't have to enjoy socializing. You're a free man and don't have to do things you don't enjoy.

Are you isolated, lonely, and longing for human contact but are just crippled by fear? That is a totally different issue.
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>>16620636
everyone seemed to enjoy socializing since they were small.
In preschool everyone was already able to get along with eachother while i was the autist sitting in the corner having no idea what to do
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>>16620663
i just don't like seeing other people having fun with eachother. I feel jealous and like i am missing out, but when i manage to get in a social situation, i become like pic related
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Alchol and nihilism
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>>16620578
>
Are you isolated, lonely, and longing for human contact but are just crippled by fear? That is a totally different issue.

I'm not OP but I'm longing for meaningful human interaction. I'm not crippled by fear but just don't know how to go about it. A lot of socializing seems really inane. How do I socialize in a way that feels good to me and not just like I'm wasting my time bullshitting with a randos who won't remember nor care about anything I said the next day?
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>>16620578
the real question is:
Why aren't you interested in people and why don't you enjoy socializing.
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>>16620675
>>16620665
>>16620578
Could you be any more me?
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>>16620770
what is there to be interested about? How do their personal lives impact mine?
What is there to enjoy about socializing?
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>>16620867
>what is there to be interested about?
Them.
> How do their personal lives impact mine?
At the moment, they don't.
But if you took the time to get to know them and care for them then their personal lives would matter to you.
>What is there to enjoy about socializing?
Getting access to people opinions? New friends? Helpful people to your life?

>You still havent answered my question though

>>16620696
>just like I'm wasting my time bullshitting with a randos who won't remember nor care about anything I said the next day?
You need to engage with the same people regularly, ask them to hang.
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>>16620867
same problem.

i find that most people just want to talk, whether or not they have anything interesting to say.

i find socializing to be boring for this reason.


my therapist says its a defense i put up. i guess that could be the case.

but i'm not, like, socially anxious, though. i used to be in bands. worked in retail growing up i talked to strangers all the time. shit, i'm a teacher, i talk to new people all the time.
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>>16620902
It could be a problem with your dopamine receptors, they probably aren't that sensitive and therefore you don't get any enjoyment out of socializing like most people.
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>>16620902
>i find that most people just want to talk, whether or not they have anything interesting to say.
what exactly would you find interesting?
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>>16620902
>>16620867
If you really don't click with people on certain topics, you will want to blow your brains out in conversation. I have two major strategies for socializing with people:

1. Play with people. Talk about absurd, stupid ideas. Play some kind of modestly competitive game together (sports, cards, video games, whatever). Share some kind of goofy story from your life. Whatever environment you're in, find a way to interact with them. Straight up talk is awful.

2. I ask older people about their lives. What they did when they were really young, any shinanegans they did, cute girls/boys they had crushes on, their relationships, becoming an adult, etc. I especially love asking them about their childhood crushes or their relationships since it gives me some warm fuzzy feelings.
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If you have successful social interaction it feels pretty good, giving you an incentive to do it again. You are probably missing out on that incentive cause don't succeed at it.

Eitherway, you should check out www.succeedsocially.com. It's has lots of great articles for people wit this sort of problem.
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>>16620926
i'm not sure to be honest.
i don't find the majority of life to be interesting.

the only people who do excite me are people who are very very good at what they do and very excited about what they do. but I'm 23 so naturally i don't know many people like that.

>>16620946
i do both of these things. occasionally, i will mess with people and just say absurd flat out lies in a very dry tone.
and when i do get to speak with an older person, i am usually pretty engaged. i enjoy hearing anecdotes from time periods i wasn't alive for.

>>16620916
this is entirely possible. when i was 18, i used to use MDMA and Mephedrone a lot, which made conversing with people extremely pleasurable. since then, i've found that i just don't enjoy most things very much.
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>>16621015
so there you go. drugs fucked you up.
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>>16620578
You don't. You can't force yourself to enjoy something you don't actually enjoy. Instead, indulge in the things you do enjoy and figure out how those can help you meet people.
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>>16620916
Wait, what? Are you telling me people can feel good just by having a small talk? And I only enjoy intense or intimate conversations, because of fucking ADHD?
Thread posts: 22
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