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When I was a kid, whenever I did something bad, my mom would

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When I was a kid, whenever I did something bad, my mom would say "I didn't raise you to be like that". Now I'm an adult, and whenever I do something she disapproves of, I get the same old shit: "I didn't raise you to be like that". Does this phrase _offend_ anyone else? I mean shit: who cares how you raised me? Whatever happened to freedom of thought and choice. Maybe I CHOSE TO BE THIS WAY. She acts like just because she's my mother she's entitled to be the dictator of my entire personality. Does anyone else experience this? Share your thoughts on it please.
You did it all for the nookie.
Sounds like you're still a kid.

Your mother wanted you to be a certain way, and when you have kids you'll also want them to be a certain way, and they'll won't because they are fucking kids and that's what they do.
Reply with "Sorry to disappoint" and move on with your life instead of crying on the internet about it.

I've been doing that whole "sorry to dissappoint" shit for years but she just keeps on doing it. She wanted me to be a good christian boy who never curses never drinks and slaves after a wife and kids. Instead I grew up to be this fat cursing drinking overweight slob who is single and childless that is pretty much a hethen all the way around. She's very "dissappoint" with me but just won't get over it. She just looks across the table from me every christmas in disgust because i'm her only child and have no grandkids to bring over for her to spoil. This sucks. Its not my fault I'm undesirable by women; I am what I am, and she's acting like I somehow owe it to her to throw my entire self away for the sake of her entertainment over the holidays. Its not right. I thought mothers were supposed to love their kids unconditionally, but this feels very conditional to me. Maybe its because I'm no longer a kid. Once you become an adult its conditional.
No, parents are just regular adults, and regular adults can be whatever they want, I have no clue where you're bringing this weird parental unconditional love delusion from, there's plenty of shit parents.
You are what you are but you can also change if you want, if you're fat it's your own choice.
If you're fine with these choices it's fine, and in that case you wouldn't care what your mother says because you would be enjoying your life. But clearly you yourself think you're doing something wrong, and what bothers you is that your mother keeps bringing it up.
I don't think I'm doing anything wrong at all actually. If anything, not only am I not doing anything wrong, but at least I have the decency to acknowledge that I'm not attractive to women and thats the reason why I'm still single. I'm not blaming any outside parties here. And she torts back with "you don't even try" but what the hell would she know about trying? The fact of the matter is that I tried and tried and tried for many many many years and kept getting rejected. I finally had to acknowledge that its just not going to happen for me. Now she's upset and effectively calling me lazy, when the truth is I can't do a damn thing about it. I'm fucking mad that she treats me as though its my own fault things turned out this way. Fuck I'm a product of my environment. I'm really fucking short - shorter than most women - and its difficult for me to lose weight due to my body chemistry, plus I'm outnumbered. The single men outnumber the single women in this town 3 to 1. Odds are I'm staying single, and she's making it out to be like its my own lazy ass fault. I'm disadvantaged!

To further illustrate my point, see the attached pic. Man and wife dancing. Go take a trek looking at pictures of husbands and wives doing things together. In most of these pictures, the man is taller than the wife. And if not, then the man in the photo has some money. I am not rich, nor tall, and there's a shortage of women in the area where I live, and they're all taller than I am. I can't fucking do anything about this shit people --- why should I have a guilt trip laid on my every christmas over this shit? There's nothing I can do about it! And I don't feel at all guilty for being lazy or not-trying because I know I tried a lot and it was futile every fucking single time, so I gave up! I don't need this shit each christmas of being pressured into finding someone to settle down with. It aint happening! Nobody wants to "settle" for me when there's better picks out on the playing field to be had.
>I'm not blaming any outside parties here.
>Fuck I'm a product of my environment.
>I'm disadvantaged!
>I'm just ugly
>It's impossible for me to lose weight or get fit
You're not really making a case here.
Losing weight is a completely measurable chemical procedure, matter and energy aren't generated out of nowhere, you might be at a disadvantage genetically but it's completely possible, you just don't want to.
I'll give you the shortness, since you need to find a woman the same height or shorter than you.

As I said, if you were completely fine with your life she wouldn't get to you, but you are obviously not fine with your life, you have just "accepted defeat" which is not the same.

The act of "accepting defeat" doesn't describe it at all. That would imply that some outside party or force were systematically cockblocking me, which is not the case here at all. Women reject me from their own independent thought without any outside influence.

Thanks for at least acknowledging the shortness part. I get none of that from her. Her husband (my father) is about the same height as her, so she insists height has nothing to do with it. But she discounts the fact that they were married in a town where there were mostly women and few men, and they weren't all that tall. Things were different when they met. If she had grown up here in this town, she'd have gone after some other taller dude. But oh no....she's never gonna acknowledge that shit. And she'd definitely not ever EVER acknowlege that most women are attracted-do and chose-to-marry taller men. No, she'd rather argue to the bitter end that I'm not trying hard enough. Its an insult to my intelligence. Things are bad enough that I can't attract anyone, but then she adds insult to injury with this shit.
Your mother is old, she won't change.
Judging by these posts you aren't going to do anything either about your situation either, as you'd accept adversity rather than fight it.
So my final advice is, just stop spending Christmas with your mother.
Boomers always lie through their teeth about unconditional love for their kids until it comes time for the roles to be reversed.
You boomers get to rot in a shitty nursing home if you make your kids miserable bricks instead of helping them lead sucessful livelyhoods.
Thread posts: 11
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