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Am I wasting my time with this guy?

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Thread replies: 22
Thread images: 1

I'll make this as detailed but not long winded as possible

I met a guy on another board and we became close friends on snapchat. Talking every day. Exchanging pictures. Flirting. Made plans to meet, as friends (I've been very clear with the platonic factor even though we cross the line a bit ) He has two girls he's not seeing but in a semi fwb situation as he's not really ready to be in a relationship. I understand and was always clear I wanted friendship as well due to that even though the lines do blur...

The meeting? He cancelled the day before, with no concrete reason given. Was a bit upset but moved foward..

We started voice chatting on skype. Hours and hours and really enjoyed each other's company...it stopped about a month ago. No rhyme or reason. He refuses to do it. Why? No reason given. He's not busy or the most social. He will listen to music on youtube. He will game and chat online. Made plans to meet again. A week before meeting? HE cancelled again!!

Of course by now, I'm wondering if I'm wasting my time. We still talk. He seems distant though and says he's "not feeling social lately" but we do still talk. He will game online for hours but not Skype :/

My girlfriends said drop him as hes not who he says he is or has a girlfriend (which explains the abrupt cancellation) or catfishing. I have seen snapped in the moment photos of him but aren't there programs that can upload a picture to snapchat? No, we haven't video chatted on skype. He refuses to even touch the program now. He says we will meet "soon" and be patient. Patient for what? A herpes outbreak to clear up? A relationship to end? What?? Is he catfishing? Not interested? We're friends. Why can't friends hang out? He said some comment about it being like a gay best friend situation...but I've never treated him as such. We are affectionate...

I outright asked him if I should continue on with this friendship or just end it and he's always clear on keeping it going.

Opinions
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man... what the fuck is this stupid bullshit? Why do you even fucking care?
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Obviously i care to post it. Thanks :)
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>>16593788
You come off as jealous
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>>16593788
there's no explanation he could provide at this point where your reaction would be OH, now everything makes sense. he's not actually an immature douchebag. if you only sat through half as many things before coming here even, this would still be my response.
>>
No. Not jealous. I actually tried to push him into dating one of the girls. He's actually changed his mind.

Sure I'll take advice. What's with him?
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He's obviously hiding something or lying about something. I don't know anything about snapchat, but refusing to skype and cancelling meet-ups at the last minute is a major red flag.

Give him an ultimatum. Let him choose to either skype with video or you'll stop talking to him. Life is too short to get invested in this kind of bullshit.
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>>16593817
I didn't ask IF you cared, I asked WHY you cared. I can't imagine a good reason for you to give the slightest fuck about some douche you only know from the internet, much less go through all this moronic b.s. for it.

so: why?
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Thanks for actual advice #16593920.

Yes. I do agree it's a red flag. It's been 3 months and I do value the people in my life. Even as friends, I want to know who I'm talking to, especially since he seems to want to be so close.

But WHO am I close with you know? And why the "waiting" I really adore this guy but I don't want to be attached to a lie.
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>>16593910
>No. Not jealous
Yes, yes you are. Alternatively you for some reason wrote OT in the most jealous, non self conscious fashion possible. I suggest you are trolling or in denial. Your investment in this is far beyond a "friend" and so is your method of approach.
>I outright asked him if I should continue on with this friendship

Thats not a thing people do. A friendship is not an agreement. A relationship is, you know, the thing you totally aren't looking for in this guy.
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>>16593922
Probably the same reason you're cursing and being so upset over my post? :/ If you can get this upset over this, I can ask advice (in an advice forum) about someone I invested 3 Months in. :)

People form bonds in many facets. I care because it happens. What's your opinion otherwise?
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Lol I'm not jealous #16593941 I really have pushed like an idiot for him to ask one of the girls out. It's gone from a "maybe" when we first became friends to "absolutely not."

Definitely not trolling either. :/ It's an odd dynamic male female friendship, and yes, I'm trying to make sure it stays in line...I admit, it's an odd situation.

Just want advice otherwise on if you think he's lying about something or why he'd be acting weird.

He said I was friend zoning him but that makes no sense either because if you WANT someone, won't you make every effort to see her instead of cancelling last minute? I'm really confused.
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>>16593993
>He said I was friend zoning him but that makes no sense either because if you WANT someone, won't you make every effort to see her instead of cancelling last minute? I'm really confused.

Didn't think that was important info to share in the first place? That was dense.

>if you WANT someone, won't you make every effort to see her

How naive are you?

He wants to distance himself from you because you couldn't give him a relationship. Friendship isn't what he was after. Remaining your friend isn't somehow better than nothing, it's a shitty reminder that you toyed with his emotions.
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16594008
I don't "toy" with emotions. That's a very cruel assumption. And he never said anything about a relationship. He in fact said he wasn't ready for one. The girls he's with are very lovely and I assume he'd go for one if he so chose.

No, that's not it at all.
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>>16594020
But its most likely how he percieved it.

>Exchanging pictures. Flirting.
>even though the lines do blur...
>I've been very clear with the platonic factor even though we cross the line a bit
>very clear
>we cross the line a bit
>clear

Men, or boys in your case, tend to assume mutual interest in cross gender relationships. He likely thought he had a chance with you and continued despite you "clearly" stating that you're not interested in a romantic relationships. This is further supported by the fact that he, towards the end, stated that he wasn't interested in the other girls. A pretty blatant last ditch effort to appeal to you romantically.

Face it, boys usually DO NOT WANT to be your friend, ESPECIALLY single ones. You'll probably be offended and won't believe me, say I'm generalising and its true. But I cannot make individual assessments of someone i don't know.
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I appreciate the advice. I was more looking into if he was a fake person etc. But I never considered the possibility of actual interest. Him breaking chances to see me seemed like no interest. I still think not. I don't know.

Thank you
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>He will game online for hours but not Skype :/
>voice chat on skype

I smell a catfish.
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>>16594008
>>16594073
Boom HEADSHOT!

OP you really dun goofed if this is true. Either tell the guy you want a relationship before he starts resenting you or leave him be. If he was (maybe still is) interested in you romantically friendship with you is the last thing he wants now.
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He said he wasn't ready for a relationship in the beginning when I asked him about the two girls.
I was also clear on platonic :/

Sorry, no "goofing " Why would I tell him I want a relationship?

Also considering catfishing. It's all very strange..
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>>16594300

You're being catfished. The signs are all there. Quit wasting your time.
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There is an app called Casper that lets you upload anything to Snapchat. You're welcome.
>>
Thanks for the name of the program. He's sent me specific photos but I know people can be crafty. Guess I'll talk to him tonight and ask about video chatting.
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 1


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