it's 4:48 AM and I haven't slept. I have nobody to

Go to sleep Kylo Ren

/adv/ is a start.

I've been there. How long have you been feeling like this? How often are you self-medicating? How often do you feel the way that you do?

>>16592566
I have felt like this for the past month. kept trying to push away the feeling.. I was self-medicating constantly, daily but I'm broke now. it's a lasting feeling that doesn't go away, but as I said I've been trying to numb it.

As someone who used to drink every nigh during my depression, and a training neuroscientist, alcohol and drugs make it worse. Alcohol is a depressant and fucks with your brain activity and mood regulation. It's hard though when you feel absolutely miserable but you gotta find an outlet you can rely on. 4chan isn't always the best, but a friend, a confidant, or even a journal.

Instead of trying to reach for the bottle every time, I had the take this very advice and just write until I cried because really i thought I needed alcohol to numb me when really I just need to wash my emotions out.

How are other aspects of your life?

>>16592561
In my experience getting rid of the urge to talk about/through your struggles is counterproductive. Feeling the need to speak to someone is a stop sign, a 'moment of clarity' to interrupt and replace the looping, self-defeating trains of thought.

Call the suicide prevention hotline, many of us have called in times of crisis and have found the ear we were looking for.

>>16592580
I know 4chan isn't the best place to go for this, but I don't have anyone now. my life was filled with toxic people who destroyed my life but I was dependent on them. I didn't go to anyone else or attempt to build any close bonds with others. I have my sister, who is practically my best friend but she's sleeping and doesn't want to hear about my problems.
my life is bad right now. lost my home, had to move all the way out here a month ago and abandon my two jobs- which kept me busy and sane. everyone but my sister has abandoned or hurt me. I don't trust anyone else anymore.
I sit at home all day on 4chan. typically, with a bottle of vodka and a packed bowl sitting on the bedside table. I'm lonely, I'm depressed, I'm empty. I've been trying to find a job but it's beginning to feel tedious.

>>16592581
I've called one of those hotlines before. they were very helpful. once the phone call ended, I felt lonely again.

Sounds a lot like me.

Accept that you're starting over with those toxic people out of your life. Be kind and patient to yourself now tha you are in a transitory stage in your life. Love and show appreciation for your sister; don't just talk to her about your troubles but express gratitude for everything she's done for you, too. My sister is my support system. Make her feel good to and it will reflect back on you. Build from there.

Forgive yourself for where you are in life. Sometimes you gotta get knocked down to discover the strength you got in you. Make a plan; a modest game plan to get back on your feet again. But remember to be compassionate towards yourself; it's not easy getting back on your feet and turning your life around. But you can do it. Take it one step at a time and count your blessings. Hug your sister. Have fun and cry with her, too.

I worked three jobs, did meth to get through it all, drank to numb the stress and pain, gave it all up including my apartment, to come back home broke and lost. My sister was there for me after all that and now I'm okay again. So if I can hit rock bottom and make it back up, you sure as hell can too.

>>16592561
I know your pain. I workout until I hurt myself so That I can cry while I recover and no one will think that I have emotional issues. Please accept this virtual hug from Los Angeles.

>>16592600
Reach out to your family, tell them what you are going through, find a good counselor and talk to your doctor. Also, get sugar out if your diet, please.

P.S. i love you

>>16592607
I appreciate the hell out of my sister. she is the only person I could turn to when it all went south. she is a lovely and genuinely hard-working person. I would die for the girl.
I'm sorry to hear about your past troubles. I hope you overcoming it all wasn't too difficult for you. I'm happy that you are okay again.

>>16592765
oh geez anon be kind to yourself. i appreciate the hug, thank you. I send one back.

>>16592819
thank you. I didn't expect so much understanding from posting this and I'm grateful for anyone who took the time to write to me. I can't get sugar out of my diet on my current budget but I'll try.
I love you too.

>>16592561
That bear is fucking adorable, holy shit.

>>16592561
Dude, I was just feeling this way a few weeks ago. I planned my own death and even wrote a suicide note. Trust me call a suicide prevention hotline, worked for me. Now when I feel that way I listen to music
Some of my favorite music is
System Of A Down, Metalica, Mega Death, and any hard rap like D12.
Do what I did and feel the pain go away.
Also weed helps.